I Don't Want to Lose You (17 page)

             
The ceremony was very quick since we chose the cheapest package.  We exchanged the wedding bands that I purchased at Kmart the day before.  When it was time to kiss the bride, I saw the bobbling apple as he brought his face over to mine.  He followed directions well and kissed me ever so sweetly. When we finished I smiled and said, “That was really nice.  Are you sure that you haven't done this before?”

             
We took a few pictures and then went inside to use their restrooms to change so that we would be comfortable for the drive home.  The excitement of what we had done made us feel as though we were flying high, totally ignorant of the bullets we would had to dodge once we got home to stay up in the air.  We were married on December 30, 1998.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

             
People can surprise you if you let them.  They can also deeply disappoint you too.  Sometimes the ones you think would understand you and your situation the most end up treating you like you're the world's biggest imbecile because you're no longer fitting into the mold that they had for you in their minds.  Sometimes the ones that you are prepared to fight are the ones that take a stand with you and have your back.  And sometimes the ones that you expect to act crazy don’t disappoint and they act crazy.

             
During the ride home from Vegas we discussed that we would need to see if I could move in with his family.  His father worked long hours Monday through Friday during the day to try to take care of the household and the medical expenses not covered by insurance.  His mother got a new part time janitorial job working nights so that she could be available for Theo to take him to his doctor appointments.  He had been speaking with his father about the possibility of me living there before he had the courage to tell me he wanted to get married.  His father felt that if it would make him happy, a way would be found to make it work.  I hadn’t known that Theo took my statement of checking with his parents about bringing me home literally.

             
I had high hopes of things going smoothly at the Cabrera household because I had no hope of any type of support in my household.  I hadn't even told my family that Nathaniel and I were no longer together, which would be necessary to do to explain why I was now a married woman to someone else.  Instead of having visions of love and congratulatory remarks, I had visions of yelling and throats being strangled.  It was my recommendation that our families would be told individually by their child, not as a couple.  Whether or not that was the right decision, I would never know.  I just didn’t want anything offensive said to him. 

             
I had gotten off of work and wanted to go check on my husband.  I stood at the door for a moment before knocking because it had seemed like yelling was going on inside but I wasn't for sure.  It wasn't until after I rang the doorbell that I got confirmation.  Manny opened the door and the loud voice of his mother became a little clearer.

             
“Hi, Manny,” I greeted him.  “How are you?”

             
“I'm okay.  Teodoro says you're my sister now.”

             
I nodded.  “Yes I am and I couldn't ask for a better little brother.  I never had one before.  Is everything all right in there?”

             
“No.  Mommy's mad at my brother and she hates you.” 

             
Well, out of the mouths of babes.  I didn’t expect for her to be upset since she knew who I was and always welcomed me when I would come to visit him.  She was always polite when I called to speak with him.  I guessed that I was fine for him to have as a friend but no more than that.

             
Our conversation was interrupted by his father coming to see who was at the door.  He forced a smile when he saw that it was me.  He opened the screen door for me to come in.  “So I hear you're my daughter-in-law now?”

             
“Yes, sir.”

             
“Welcome to the family.” He gave me a big hug.  “Please know that my home is now your home.  You make my son very happy and I think you're a very nice girl.”

             
“Thank you, sir.  Your son makes me very happy, too.”

             
At that moment his wife came out of the kitchen and her face turned red at the sight of me.  She turned around and went back in and started yelling in Spanish.

             
“Some people need some time to get used to the idea,” he said to explain his wife's behavior.

             
“I understand.”

             
“Come in and go to your husband.  Teodoro is in his room.”

             
We parted ways with him going to his wife in the kitchen and I headed to Theo.  I could hear them speaking in Spanish and he told her to calm down and to be respectful of their son’s wife.  She said that she didn't have to and that I must be, if I translated correctly, a whore.

             
I opened the door to his room to see him sitting at his desk reading a magazine with headphones on with his back to me.  I tapped him to get his attention.  He took his headphones off.

             
“Hey. When did you get here?”  He got up from his chair, gave me a peck on the lips and started straightening up his bed.

             
“I've been here long enough to know what your mom thinks of me.”

             
He rolled his eyes.  “Is she still going on about this?  I had to come in here and put the headphones on so that I could stop hearing her voice.  She keeps saying the same thing over and over as though it's going to change anything.  I didn't think she was going to react like this.”

             
“Well, your dad is being very nice about it.  Maybe we just need to give her time to come to terms with it.”

             
His mother walked into the hallway still going off in Spanish.  She then called me a derogatory word that caused me to twinge.  Then she used a racial slur and I said “Ouch” because I felt like I was punched in the gut.

             
He jumped up. “That’s it.”  He opened the door and blocked her from being able to walk back to the kitchen.  “Stop calling her names.  She speaks Spanish, Mom, and she understood everything you've been saying about her.  If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

             
“I can be mad at her, too.  It takes two people to get married,” she responded.

             
“Why don't you want me to be happy?” he asked.

             
“I do want you to be happy but I want to be happy about you being happy.  I'm not happy with how you did things.  You didn't tell us anything and you just left to another state and got married without me being able to see you.  What if something had happened to you?”

             
“I would have gone to the doctor out there.  They have hospitals out there, too.  And I was only gone for several hours, not days.   Are you mad that I got married?  Or are you mad that I got married to her?”

             
“You're too young and too ill to be married.”

             
“Mom, I'll never be too old or too well to be married either.  It's now or never and I choose now.”

             
She hugged him after sighing.  “I'm sorry.  You're still my little boy in my heart even if you're a young man.”             

             
He tried to whisper, “Can you apologize to her?”

             
She sighed again and slowly walked towards the room.  It took a minute before I saw her walk into the room.

             
“Ma'am,” I started as I put my hand up, “it's okay.  I understand your feelings and concerns and we didn't think about everyone else and their feelings.”  I looked at him and continued.  “We were selfish in how we handled things.  We just paid attention to how we felt about each other and what we wanted to do about it, but we should have handled it differently.”  I looked back at her.  “I'm sorry about that.”

             
“I'm sorry too, Mom,” he added on.

             
She smiled.  “It's okay. Come give me a hug.” 

             
I got up off of the bed and went to hug her. 

             
“Do you like enchiladas?” she asked me.  “I'm making them for dinner.”

             
“I love them and can't wait to taste them.”

             
She gave a smile, which I could not decipher as being genuine or not, and walked back into the kitchen. 

             
Theo came back into the room and closed the door looking dazed.  “Where were you two to three hours ago?  She could have gone off about you then and this could have happened and we could have been spared her noise pollution.”

             
“Sometimes a woman just needs to be told that she's right or has a valid point to feel that she has been heard in order for her to calm down,” I said.

             
“But she wasn't completely right.”

             
“I never said that our way of thinking was right.  I'm just saying that's the way it is.”

             
“You're right.”

             
“Very good.  This marriage might actually last if you keep that up.” I winked at him.

             
During dinner, we were able to tell them about the wedding and show them the pictures that we took on my camera that I had gotten developed and the professional one taken by the drive thru wedding photographer.  Theo walked with me outside to my car as I needed to head to my parents' home. 

             
“When are you going to stay here with me for good?”

             
“Love, we just got married yesterday and we just got you good with your family over here.  I need to talk to my family and make it good over there before I can feel comfortable with being here.  Let me take care of this tomorrow, okay?”

             
He nodded and then leaned into kiss me.  Finally, he pulled back.  “Sorry.  I'm just trying to get enough to hold me until tomorrow.  When you come back tomorrow, it's to stay, right?”

             
“Yes, I promise.”

             
With that, he let me go.