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Susie squealed and wiggled out of her mother's arms, running for her coat. She was yelling about how she was going to tell her Gram all about the horse Santa was going to bring.

"You coming to the train station?" Becky asked them as she watched her daughter with fond eyes.

Tor shook his head. "No. Momma will understand, tell her there isn't enough room in the car for four adults and Susie's car seat."

"There isn't," Becky answered, rolling her eyes.

"Then why did you ask?"

"'Cause Momma raised me to be polite. You she raised to clean up after the dog."

Tor chased her down the hall. Jake just shook his head and wondered if he'd ever have an easy relationship like that with his sisters. He hoped so.

When Becky and Susie left the sudden silence in the house was almost overwhelming.

Jake was looking at the tree when Tor came up behind him and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"We have an hour before they're back."

Jake leaned back into him and made a half hearted attempt to still Tor's hands. "You think this is a good idea?"

"Oh yeah. An hour before I'm stuck in the same house as my mother? Trust me, I want to spend the time getting as relaxed as possible. And being naked with you? Favorite thing."

Jake gave up. He figured it would take a stronger man than him to withstand that kind of pressure.

They were barely out of the shower when Susie burst through the door, talking a mile a minute. Tor's mom, having raised her own children, seemed to think that just talking over the child was the easiest way to greet her boy and Jake let himself melt into the background and watch as Tor and his family spent a few minutes trading hugs and luggage.

Tor's mom was tall, only a couple inches shy of six feet, and looked as strong as Tor. Her hair was going grey, strands the colour of steel shot through with white, and her eyes were blue, sharp and bright and full of life. Jake couldn't see any signs that she was in failing health, though Tor had hinted at it a time or two.

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Finally Tor stepped back and looked over at him, grinning. His smile was teasing, but his eyes were asking questions. Jake took a breath and moved forward.

"Momma, this is Jake Taggart. Jake, this is my mother, Maureen Flynn."

Jake nodded his head, wishing he had his hat on. "Ma'am. Pleasure to meet you."

She offered her hand and waited until he had shaken it to reply. "So you're Mark's man, are you? You two fight much?"

Jake blinked. "Not so much anymore, ma'am."

"But you did?" she persisted.

"Well, yes. Before."

"Fists?" she demanded, ignoring Tor's attempts to interrupt.

Jake shuddered, thinking back to their fight in the rain. "Yes, ma'am."

"You hold your own? Not let him push you?"

"Let him push me too far. That's what lead to the fightin'."

"What, so now you give in?"

"Now he doesn't push me."

She looked him up and down. "You'll do, then. We'll talk later." She scooped Susie up then and they headed down the hall.

Jake thought his legs were going to give out, but Tor just grinned and kissed him.

Christmas day was chaos, the sort only a six year old could create. Up before light, the presents were unwrapped and breakfast eaten before the phone started to ring off the hook. Becky, Maureen and Tor took turns talking to assorted cousins and aunts and uncles, leaving Jake to teach Susie about the wonders of Lego. Everyone was happy.

Tor had a mid afternoon nap and Maureen gave Jake a look that meant he was to follow.

Jake knew the look, and knew that there was no way to avoid the conversation, so he merely followed her outside and walked along as they toured the backyard.

"Mark ever tell you about what happened before he went to Mexico?" she asked. She didn't look at him.

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"Yes, ma'am. He did." Jake kept his voice low and even, wondering where she was going with the conversation.

She sighed and stopped walking, finally looking Jake dead in the eye. "I always thought that if Kinkaid had lived, if they had just let their relationship follow its path, that they would have split up. That Mark would have grown out of this. I was wrong, wasn't I?

He's not going to change."

Jake looked back. "No, he isn't. He's gay. I'm gay. Did he tell you anything about my family?"

She nodded. "He told me that your momma denied you when she found out. That she lied about you."

Jake shook his head. "She told my sisters and my brother that I was dead, killed in a car wreck. I spent damn near twenty years with no family 'cause she couldn't accept me."

Her eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"My sister found me about three months ago. I haven't even seen her yet. I can't change who I am so my family will have an easier time of it; Tor can't either. But more to the point, we won't."

Her eyes narrowed. "If you think I'd push my boy away–"

"I'm not saying that. Just sayin' what happened in my family. But if you don't want to make him unhappy, if you want him to live his life as freely as a gay man can, it would be best for you to try to accept it. It ain't easy, I reckon, but I'm betting it's worth it."

She started walking again. When Jake didn't follow she glared at him until he fell into step. "So, you're together. You love him?"

Jake nodded.

"And he loves you?"

"I–yeah. Yeah, he does."

They walked in silence for another five minutes, around and around the backyard until Jake thought he would get dizzy.

"All right then," Maureen finally said. "I reckon you're a better match than what Becky made, though I did get Susie out of it." Then she headed into the house, Jake half a step behind. When they got to the door she gave him a dazzling smile. "Hurt him and you'll pay."

He didn't doubt it.

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Things didn't get really exciting until Christmas dinner was almost over.

"I saw Uncle Tor kissing Jake under the mistletoe," Susie announced around a mouthful of peas.

"Did you, now?" Maureen said mildly. "What did you think of that?"

Susie shrugged. "Looked icky. They were using their tongues and Uncle Tor had his hand on Jake's butt," she said with a giggle.

Jake froze, fork halfway to his mouth.

Susie looked at Tor curiously. "Why were you using your tongue?" she asked.

"Like the way he tastes," Tor said with a wink.

"Tor!"

"Mark!"

"Tor!"

"What? She asked."

"You needn't answer," Maureen said with a frown.

Tor just shrugged. "Rather she heard answers from me than anyone else." He smiled at Susie, and she grinned back.

"Will I want to kiss boys sometime?"

Tor laughed. "I expect so."

"Eww. Nope. That's yucky. Maybe I'll just kiss girls."

Maureen and Becky choked. Jake froze again.

"Maybe," Tor said easily. "But I expect you'll like kissing boys. Kissing girls is okay too, though."

"Did you ever kiss girls?"

"Yep. Long time ago." Tor was still grinning.

"Why did you stop?"

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"Met a special boy."

"Who?"

Tor's smile faded a little, but his voice was still light. "His name was Kinkaid."

"What happened to him?"

Jake reached a hand under the table and tangled his fingers with Tor's.

"He had to leave me," Tor said simply.

"Did you miss him?"

"Yeah."

"Do you still miss him?"

"Sometimes."

Becky put a hand on Susie's shoulder. "That's enough, hon. No more about that. Ask about something else."

Susie shrugged. "Okay. How come Santa didn't bring me a horse?"

"Won't fit in your room," Tor said, his smile bright again.

"Oh. Momma told me not to tell you that your bed squeaks. But I think you know, 'cause I could hear it this morning."

Jake dropped his fork. Tor, for the first time Jake had ever seen, turned scarlet.

Maureen looked at them both and sighed. "Christmas is always so interesting with you, Mark."

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Chapter Twenty-seven

By the time March rolled around Jake had spent a lot of time on the phone with his sisters and had spent one weekend playing telephone tag between Jacob and Susie, both of whom wanted to talk to him about Easter. Jacob wanted to know if he and Tor were going to visit in April or May–they finally settled on late May– and Susie wanted to know if the Easter bunny would leave her a horse if she asked really nicely.

Jake thought he could get used to that. He liked picking up the phone and spending twenty minutes or so talking to 'Lissa and Cath, and he absolutely loved talking to Jacob about soccer and football. He wasn't quite sure where he fit in Susie's world view, but he liked it when she asked to talk to him when she was done talking to Tor.

Elias had figured out Jake was in touch with family again right after Jake and Tor got back from Christmas. He didn't say much, just smiled and made sure that Jake got his mail fast when it came in.

Kip had finally asked Beth to marry him, defying all odds and waiting until New Year's Eve to do it. He'd also managed to stun them all by calmly announcing that he'd bought land the previous summer and their house was half built already. They'd all spent New Year's Day out at his place, admiring the view and grinning every time Beth looked around her with wide eyed wonder.

Jake and Hound were in the stable one wet March afternoon, getting two stalls ready for new horses, when a shuffling sound behind them made Jake turn around.

His father stood there, silently watching.

"Jake," the man said, and he knew then it wasn't his father, just his ghost. A man, yes, and real enough to touch, but not his father. His brother.

"James," he heard himself say, his voice calm.

He glanced back at Hound, who was still trying to set a board in place. "Hound, get the boys together, yeah? I'm ready for help with the bales." He silently prayed that the kid would get the point and not say anything stupid; they didn't need bales and even if they did Jake wouldn't need help with them.

Hound just nodded and said, "Sure, Jake." He headed out of the barn, not even glancing at the silent intruder, his stride easy.

Jake stood with his back to the stall wall, looking at his older brother. James looked just like their father had, and it suddenly struck him that James was now a little older than their father had been the last time Jake had seen him.

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"So, you really are alive," James said conversationally, his hands loose by his sides, less than ten feet away.

"Yeah. How'd you find out?" Jake was only mildly curious.

James shrugged. "Man comes back from the dead, news gets around." He looked around the stable. "You should have stayed gone, Jake. If what I hear is right, you really should have just stayed dead."

Jake smiled. "Why's that now?" He could hear Hound outside in the yard, calling for Elias to hold up.

James looked at him with cold eyes. "World could live without your kind of perversion.

You're disgusting."

Jake shifted his weight, balancing on the balls of his feet. "Not hurting anyone," he said quietly.

James sneered at him. "Hurts just to think of you doing––what you do."

"You think I should be dead because I suck cock? What's it to you? I stay here, mind my own business, got nothin' to do with you." James stepped forward and Jake reached out for one of the boards leaning against the stall door. "You spook the horses and I swear you'll regret it."

James froze. "Like you could take me down, faggot."

Jake just gave him a cold smile, which seemed to infuriate his brother.

"You're a fucking pansy, Jake. Couldn't hurt me if you tried, never could."

"You want to bet on that?" Jake didn't move, just stood his ground.

"You and what army?"

"Don't need an army, James. Got what I need." Jake moved out of the stall so they were both in the open, halfway between the wide doors at either end. "Just need a couple of cowboys, and we can shovel the shit right out of here."

He didn't even look, just heard the others move into the barn and fan out behind him.

James eyes went wide, almost comically so, before narrowing.

"So, which of you is taking my brother up the ass?" he demanded, his voice loud and abrasive.

Jake chuckled and turned around, half expecting Tor to say something. He'd expected Tor and Elias and Hound, and he'd hoped Kip would be there too, to add numbers. What he 164

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hadn't expected was for them to be joined by the Boss, Bobby Hearn, Tommy and two other day hands. No wonder James looked panicked.

No one answered him. No one said anything, they just stood there, a wall of cowboys backing him up.

Jake looked at his brother. "You'll not find anything here but trouble, James. Let it go and head on out, leave me be."

James visibly settled himself. "You're not to see 'Lissa and Cath, and you'll sure as hell stay away from Jacob."

Jake laughed. "Why?"

"You're an insult to proper family values," James said, almost calmly.

Jake could feel anger starting to burn in his stomach, white and hot. "You think? How many kids you got now, James? Three? By how many women? When was the last time you had a conversation with Melissa? You dare come here and talk to me about family after how our parents treated me?"

James leapt forward, one arm raised. "Shut up. Our father was a good man–"

"Our father beat the shit out of us, James." Jake heard his voice rising and lowered it immediately. "Our mother told you I was fucking dead. You want to talk about family values? Fine. You see your kids often? When did you last tuck your oldest into bed?

Read to them? They even know each other, or you?"

Jake started to walk forward, fury pushing him. James stepped back.

"You got a problem with me being gay, that's one thing, but you don't come in here shooting your fucking mouth off about family. I got two sisters who want me, a nephew who calls my partner uncle and a hell of a lot of people I can count on. I work hard, stay sober, and live my life. What do you do, James?"