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Strong… good… yes… hot… please… breath… give… sexy… all… there… need… now…

yours… please, oh please Jake…

Jake lifted his head and met Tor's eyes. He needed. He stood and stripped his own clothes off, Tor's eyes never leaving him. He lay on the bed and gathered Tor into his arms, kissing Tor deeply, letting his hunger out, letting Tor feel how very much he needed.

They rolled over and Jake settled himself between Tor's legs, arms braced. He stared into dark eyes as he entered Tor's heat, drew emotion and need from Tor's mouth as he moved.

When Jake came it was with a groan and a sob half torn from his throat. Tor met him with a sigh and a tight embrace, holding him in strong arms until morning.

136

Bareback

Chapter Twenty-two

It took Jake a week to decide to call his sister. He hadn't told anyone but Tor what was going on, so managing to find a chance to use the phone without anyone in the bunkhouse was a problem until Tor pointed out that the Boss would let him use the phone in the office if he only asked. Jake looked at him, honestly startled that the thought hadn't even occurred to him.

He walked to the house just after supper and knocked on the door. When the Boss came to see him he simply said, "Use your phone, Doug?"

So he was sitting in a fine leather chair at an empty desk with only a worn slip of paper in front of him. He sat for several minutes before finally picking up the phone and dialling.

He hadn't been this nervous in years.

The phone stopped ringing at the other end with a cheerful hello. A young voice.

"Hello," he said, his voice sounding odd to his own ears. "I'm looking for Melissa Taggart."

There was a short pause, then a cautious, "This is 'Lissa."

Jake froze for a moment, wondering what to say next, his mind blank. "It's Jake."

"Oh Lord. Jake…I…oh God. You're really alive."

"Yes, ma'am. I am."

There was brief pause and then 'Lissa laughed. "You call me ma'am again and we'll really have an issue."

Jake grinned into the phone. "Yeah, okay."

"I want to say 'So, how are you?' but that's just…weird. God, it's good to hear your voice."

"Yeah. And I'm fine." Jake was still smiling. "Thanks for giving my Boss your number.

And for knowing it would take awhile for me to call. I didn't…I didn't think you'd be wanting to hear from me. Thought that you'd be just as happy to have me gone."

"Jake, honey, we never had the chance to–to even know that you were out there somewhere. When you left…and then that last phone call. It was bad, Jake. Then you died–well, you didn't die, but we thought you did. Oh God. There's just so much to tell you, so much to ask."

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137

"Kinda hard on the phone. 'Lissa, I just want you to know that I'm real sorry I left you and Cath and James there. I was…hell, I was sixteen and drunk all the time. Wasn't thinking about you much, you know? Different now."

"I know. It'd have to be different now, it's been so damn long and so many things have changed. Listen to me, now. I want to ask you to do something, and I want you to think about it before you let me know."

"I'm here."

"I've been thinkin' a lot, waiting for the phone to ring. It's been a long time and we both have more to tell than a phone call can manage. Would it be okay if I wrote to you? Told you what happened after you left? Then you could write to me, and it might be easier to tell a piece of paper than a voice, if you know what I mean. Easy to skip stuff on the phone, easy to miss things when you're jumping from topic to topic."

Jake had started nodding as soon as she said the word letter. Easy to tell the whole truth when you knew you wouldn't actually hear a voice saying 'faggot' or 'con'. Easier to get it all out and start with an honest opening.

"Yeah. That's good."

"Really?" There was a smile in her voice, something relaxed and hopeful.

"Yeah. You got the address here?"

She did, and she gave him hers. Then he cleared his throat and glanced at the clock. "I gotta go real soon, 'Lissa. Just want you to know that I'm real glad you called. And I'm sorry if you miss Momma. I know it's hard for you, but she never did give me a chance to be who I was, and I won't lie and tell you I've been missing her all these years. But I'm sorry if you do."

She didn't say anything for a moment and Jake was about to apologize when she said,

"Hon, I do miss her. But just 'cause she was my momma. I know she did something real bad to you, and I'm sorry for that. But thank you for even thinking of me missing her."

"Yeah. Will you write soon?"

"Tonight. I'm gonna call Cath right now, tell her you called me. She'll be over the moon."

"Tell her hi for me. And tell her…if she wants to talk to me that'd be good. But maybe she can wait a bit? Read the letter I'll send you?"

"I'll tell her. Jake, thanks for calling."

"I'm glad I did. Goodnight, 'Lissa."

138

Bareback

"Goodnight, Jake."

~*~*~

When Jake got back to the bunkhouse he went into the living room and looked at the three hands watching TV. "Where's Tor?"

Hound waved his hand to the back of the house. "Your room."

Jake turned to go and got three feet down the hall before a chorus of "Keep it down tonight!" sounded behind him.

"Oh, shut up," he called back to them, grinning as he heard them laugh.

He walked into the room and Tor stood up. He'd been sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on knees, just waiting.

"You okay?" Tor asked immediately.

Jake smiled at him and moved into his arms. "Yeah. Was good." He grinned then, feeling a little giddy. He thought he might be bouncing.

"Uh, Jake?"

"What?"

"You're bouncing."

"Thought so. Want me to stop?"

"Uh, not so much that as maybe bounce a little closer," Tor pulled him in so the bouncing turned into rubbing and Jake moaned a little then grinned wider.

"Tor?"

"Mmmm?" Tor seemed to be enjoying the bouncing.

"Wanna be loud. C'mon." He grabbed Tor's hand and dragged him through the house, Tor sputtering behind him.

"Jake, stop. Hold on, we need…"

"Keep it down!"

"Shut up, Kip!" Jake hollered as he forced Tor out the door.

He could hear Elias and Hound laughing even as he dragged Tor away.

Bareback

139

"Where we going?" Tor finally managed. He'd apparently given up on stopping Jake.

"Riverbed. Remember the riverbed, Tor?"

"Kinda fucking hard to forget. I still have dreams about that night. Day. Morning.

Whatever."

"Yeah, me too. Point is, I want to scream again. Make me scream, Tor."

"Fuck, yes."

Jake couldn't get there fast enough. It was getting dark fast and he didn't want to trip on loose stones in the shadows. He was also being driven by the insistent pressure his cock was putting on his jeans. So fucking hard he ached, adrenaline and relief winding him up almost as much as wanting Tor.

They rounded the last corner and Jake moved forward in the sand, tearing at the buttons on his shirt. He finally gave up and pulled it off over his head, turning to reach out to Tor.

He grabbed at the waistband of Tor's jeans, pulling him close to kiss him even as he undid the heavy leather belt.

"Christ, what's gotten into you?" Tor asked. He just stood there, watching Jake undoing his belt, then hissed as Jake ripped the button fly open and fell to his knees.

"Nothin' yet. Aim to fix that," Jake said just before he took Tor's cock into his mouth.

"Oh shit," was the best that Tor could manage. He grabbed Jake's shoulders and held on as Jake licked and sucked at him, tongue dancing over the head of his cock, lips making a strong seal as he sucked. Tor's hips started to move and Jake could feel him work to still himself. Jake put a hand on Tor’s ass and pushed him deeper, felt the tip of Tor's erection slide on the roof of his mouth, felt it hit the back of his throat.

Jake was making moaning noises that meant 'yes' and 'please' and 'harder' and 'now'. Tor tightened his grip on Jake's shoulders and moved faster, fucking his mouth. Jake surrounded him with his heat, and his fingers traced over Tor's balls and stroked the skin behind them. He moved up and down Tor's cock, fast and hard, then dipped his tongue into the slit at the tip and pressed.

"Fuck, yes," Tor moaned. "Jake, gonna come soon."

Jake let himself grin a little then sucked harder, tugged gently at Tor's balls and groaned as he felt Tor shudder. He used his tongue and lips for one more long pull up and pressed into the slit again.

"Now, oh God yes, Jake!"

140

Bareback

Jake swallowed hard as Tor came, taking it all in. Fucking sweet.

Jake pulled Tor's jeans down the rest of the way and swore. Fucking cowboy boots. He sat back and looked up at Tor. "I'll get mine off if you fight with yours." He tugged at his boots and Tor pulled his jeans back up so he get his boots off without falling over or getting his ass covered in sand. Sand could be the enemy at times like this. As soon as they were naked Jake hauled Tor down onto all fours and got behind him.

"Well, shit," he said and swatted the ass in front of him.

"Ow. What?"

"No lube." He smacked Tor again. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did," Tor said patiently, looking at the ground. Then he wiggled his butt, so Jake hit it again.

"Not loud enough." He smacked Tor again, just 'cause he felt like it. Tor didn't seem to be complaining anyway. As a matter of fact, Jake noted absently, parts of Tor seemed to like it. He paused.

"What are you doing?" Tor asked.

"Adjusting my thinking."

"Oh. Can you do that and spank me at the same time?"

"Yeah, I think so." Jake spanked him again, twice in quick succession. Tor moaned and arched his back. Jake looked at him critically and did it again, a little harder. Tor didn't say anything, but he moved back a bit.

Jake felt a little out of his depth, spanking and pain not being something they’d explored.

Ever. "Uh, tell me how you want this."

"Faster."

So Jake spanked him faster, picking up a rhythm. He watched Tor's ass turning pink, then red, in the dying light, and watched as Tor's cock filled and grew harder with each smack.

Tor was shifting restlessly and panting, each smack greeted with a moan and a twitch of his cock. When Jake's hand started to sting he stopped. He really didn't want to hurt Tor, just wanted him a little warm.

But none of this was solving the lube problem, and Jake really wanted to fuck. He decided that it was going to be a night of firsts for him, and he ran his hands over Tor's ass gently, feeling the heat. Tor was moving under his hands, whimpering.

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141

Jake lowered himself and parted Tor's ass cheeks. He licked at Tor's spine and made his way down his cleft, and then used his tongue to tease at Tor's entrance.

"Oh, fuck. Jake–"

He licked and teased some more and found that the scent of Tor was stronger here, more pure. The taste was incredible, like everything that he associated with the man was distilled and put in this one spot, just for him to find. He licked at Tor again, then pointed his tongue and pressed inside.

"Oh God." Tor moved with him, trying to get more as Jake fucked Tor with his tongue.

Tor was gasping and moaning and fuck, but he sounded like something right off a porn movie.

Jake ached. He pushed his tongue deeper. Tor's groaning became louder and Jake's cock just throbbed. He eased his tongue out and licked Tor once more before sucking on a finger and sliding it in.

"Jake! Oh Christ. Please, Jake." Tor surged back onto Jake's finger, making them both groan.

"Gonna fuck you now, Tor."

"Please–"

Jake licked his hand and wet his cock as much as he could, hoping that the pre-come he was leaking and the spit would be enough. He pressed the head of his erection into Tor, trying to be slow, trying not to hurt.

Tor thrust back and took him in, not so patient.

"Oh fuck, Tor. So tight," Jake groaned. He could feel his orgasm building already. "Not gonna last long, Tor."

"Just fuck me, Jake."

So Jake did. He took him fast and hard, pounding into Tor's ass, going deep with every stroke. His fingers dug into Tor's hips as he pulled Tor back, his hips snapping to meet Tor with every thrust. Jake knew he was talking, but he had no clue what he was saying, other than "Fucking good," and “Christ, yeah!”

Fire was racing up and down his spine, and something hot and heavy and burning was gathering at the back of his skull. "Gonna shoot, Tor."

"Fuck, come for me, Jake. Want you to come for me."

142

Bareback

"Ah, fuck!" Jake felt everything in his body tense, could feel his orgasm race from his skull down his spine and up his cock in a rush, felt his cock pulse and throb as he shot deep into Tor. He threw his head back and screamed to the night sky.

When he stopped coming he thrust into Tor a couple more times before easing out and falling back on the sand, his legs unable to hold him up. Tor turned and gripped his knee, hand on his cock, jerking off over him.

"Fucking perfect, Jake. So fucking hot. Shit, you have no clue what you do to me." Tor's hand was moving fast, pulling at his cock with long hard jerks of his wrist. His hips thrust, pushing him into the tunnel of his hand and then he froze, crying out Jake's name as he came, shooting all over Jake's belly and chest before falling onto him.

Jake kissed him hard, tongue plunging in and owning Tor as he hauled Tor on top of him.

They rocked together, coming down slowly, hands reaching and stroking, and mouths caressing and tasting.

"Jake?" Tor said quietly, when they were calmer, kisses gentler, hands moving in slow easy touches.

"Yeah?"

"I…uh…"

"You what, Tor?"

"I think they heard you screaming." He pointed to the edge of the rocks at three man shaped shadows approaching at a fast walk.

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