How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (25 page)

“We need to talk,” I started as he leaned in for a kiss and I pushed him away.

He looked at me, alarmed. “What’s the matter?”

“Trav, you know how much I value you and our friendship. You are one of the most important people in my life. But I can’t do this with you. My heart belongs to Nick.”

His face fell, and the look of sadness that immediately appeared in his eyes broke my heart. “What about what you said earlier?” he asked.

“I said a lot of things earlier. But most importantly, I said that I need some time. I said that I need you to be my friend. Can you just be my friend?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Remember what I said, too. I can’t wait around for you forever.” He stood up and started for the door.

“Travis, wait,” I started.

“No, Julianne. I’ve waited long enough.” He opened the door and was gone.

I broke his heart, and knowing that broke my heart all over again.

I called Nick on his cell phone. “He’s gone,” I said after he answered.

“That was quick. Are you okay?” he asked, as I watched Travis storm to his car outside my window.

It was nice to hear someone who was concerned about
my
feelings. “We’ll talk when you get back,” I answered, knowing that he could hear the tears in my voice.

I hung up the phone and at the same time realized that the bag that Travis had brought was still sitting on my table. I walked closer to it and become conscious to the fact that it was the same bag that he had in his hands earlier that week. I decided to see what was inside.

I pulled out a long rectangular black velvet box. I opened it to find a beautiful diamond necklace. It took my breath away. It was the same necklace that I had shown Travis in the window of a jeweler just before Christmas. I had told him it was my “dream” necklace. I knew the price tag on a piece of jewelry like that, and it was so far out of my price range that I never imagined I would ever be able to actually own a piece of jewelry that extravagant. I felt terrible as I realized the thoughtful man that I was losing. He would do anything for me, anything to make me happy. He would never tear my heart out like Nick had done. And yet, there was nothing that would ever make me want to leave Nick for Travis.

Just then, my doorbell buzzed, and I was reminded of what I was gaining even through the loss of my best friend. I clicked the button to let Nick up, still holding the necklace in my hands.

Nick walked in a moment later, pecking me on the lips. “Wow,” he said, noticing the beautiful jewels still in my hand. “Some breakup.”

Tears filled my eyes as I looked down at the necklace and then met Nick’s gaze. “He left this here by mistake. He brought it over for me and was so mad when he left that he forgot it. Nick, I feel terrible. I can’t believe how much I hurt him.”

Nick pulled me in close for a hug. “I know this is hard for you, baby. But there was a reason that you had to do this. For us. You know that, right?”

I nodded, tears spilling onto my cheeks. “Nick, don’t get me wrong. You are the one in my heart. I am in love with you, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I just know that in order to be happy myself, I’ve hurt the best friend I ever had. I don’t think things will ever be the same between us, and I don’t know how I'm going to deal with that.”

Nick took the necklace out of my hand and set it down on my kitchen counter. He put his arms around me and pulled me against him, my head against his chest as his chin rested on the top of my head. “Julianne, if he is truly a friend, he will understand why you had to do what you did. He’s not going to come running back tomorrow, but in time, he will come around. I know for a fact that he would want you to be happy. There is no way that he could live without you in his life, even if it isn’t exactly the way that he was hoping for.”

Tears filled my eyes and suddenly I felt completely exhausted from the day’s events. All I wanted to do was sleep in Nick’s arms.

Nick held me close, and my world felt right there in his arms even though things were falling apart with Travis. I sniffled into his chest, and he hugged me tighter. “Hey, baby,” he whispered. “It’s okay.” He rubbed my back gently, lovingly, as he whispered soothing sentiments.

We stood in my entryway for what felt like an eternity, but I just didn’t want to leave that place where everything felt right in his arms. “Can we go to sleep?” I finally asked when I couldn’t take the bone-crushing fatigue any longer.

He kissed my forehead. “Of course, baby.” He held my hand as we walked to the bedroom together. We lay down and Nick held me close as we both fell fast asleep.

Chapter 15

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of bacon. I opened my eyes to see Nick standing over me, a tray in his hand with a plate of pancakes and bacon, orange juice, and a little vase with a single red rose in it. “Good morning,” he said as I opened my eyes.

“So it wasn’t just a dream,” I smiled. He handed me the tray as I sat up in bed. He sat down next to me as I started eating.

He grinned back at me, and his sexy smile reserved just for me set my blood on fire. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Not a dream,” he said. “I am right here, and I am so excited about what is ahead of us. You and me, baby.”

“You and me,” I echoed, looking into Nick’s eyes that looked
more well-rested and less haunted than they had the day before.

He kissed my forehead. “Enjoy your breakfast. I need to run home and change, but I will see you at work a little later. And then I’ve got two weeks to find a new job.”

He kissed me gently, sweetly, once on the lips. He gazed into my eyes and whispered, “I love you, Julianne.”

My heart skipped a beat as he spoke those words to me again. They were words I would
never, ever tire of hearing out his mouth. “I love you, too, Nick.”

He beamed at me and smiled his beautiful smile once more, this time with that same touch of reverence that I had felt from him the night before as he made love to me. He kissed me gently and then walked out of my apartment.

That left me alone with my thoughts. I put the tray of food to the side of me and leaned to the drawer in my nightstand. I took the picture of Nick and me out of it, the one that I had put away after he broke my heart. I saw his devilish handsomeness as he smiled in the picture. I saw myself looking deliriously happy. Suddenly I thought of Travis. It was the first time that I had any sort of extended time alone since I broke Travis’s heart. My emotions were completely conflicting. On the one hand, I was totally, head over heels in love with Nick. But on the other hand, Travis. My best friend, Travis.
Is he ever going to talk to me again? Will he hate me forever?
I had to call him, at least to see how he was doing.

I called him only to arrive at his voicemail.
Now what?
I thought. He was obviously ignoring my call on purpose. “You have reached Travis. You know what to do.”

“Trav, it’s me. I had to call to see how you are doing. I’m just… I’m sorry about everything. Call me. I need to hear your voice.”

I hung up, still worried and feeling helpless in a situation that was totally my own fault. I got up to get ready for work, only to find another single red rose in a vase on the kitchen counter. A note attached to it simply read, “You and me.”

I smiled at his sweet gesture. I showered and got ready for work, chose a black skirt and top, left my apartment, and arrived right on schedule. Nick held the elevator doors open for me as I
made my way through our building’s entrance. My palms started to sweat as I took in his appearance. Man, what a difference twenty-four hours made. I couldn’t wait to get into the elevator with him. He was a little more dressy than usual, wearing a black suit and really nice shoes with a white shirt and dark gray tie. The dark circles were gone from under his eyes; he looked well-rested and happy. And it was because he was in love. With me. He looked good enough to eat. We were the only two in the elevator, and as soon as the doors closed, Nick backed me into the wall for a hot embrace, as was our ritual before the breakup. The elevator rose to our floor, forcing us apart and leaving me completely breathless and off balance. As we exited, we walked our separate ways panting. For the first time, the thought of Nick actually leaving this job fully hit me. He wasn’t only great to look at, but he was incredibly intelligent and very talented at what he did. I felt the full capacity of what he was actually giving up for me – a job that he really loved at a great company. I thought for a moment that he should be the one to stay and I should resign. But he had already turned in his resignation.

I arrived at my
cubicle and shuffled some papers to look busy. I couldn’t concentrate, but this time it wasn’t because of a broken heart. I felt guilty that Nick was the one that had to leave when we were both in it together. Just then, Dana walked by.

“I heard Nick resigned. Did you hear?” she asked gossipingly.

“Yeah, I heard,” I said.

“Do you know why?” she asked. “I heard it was because he was going to get fired for some fling in his department, is that true?”

“Dana, I don’t know. I’ve got a lot of work to do today.”

“Sorry, sorry. But I gotta say
, I will miss staring at that sexy ass all the time!”

She walked away, leaving me more irritated than ever.

Just my luck, Holly overheard. Suddenly Lucy and Holly appeared in front of me. “We need to talk,” Holly said, hands on her hips. Lucy glared at me.

“Conference room?”
I asked, hoping for some privacy for this dreaded conversation.

“Fine,” Holly said. The three of us walked by Nick’s office on our way to the conference room that was right next to his office. He saw us in the hall and followed us in.

“Ladies, we’re not having a team meeting right now.”

“We are aware of that,” Holly said, glaring at him, too.

“What’s this about, then?” he asked.

It was sweet of him to try to protect me, but I could handle it.

“Why don’t you tell us?” Lucy interjected. I had never seen her act angry toward her boss before. Ever.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

“We’ve heard the rumors, Nick. What’s going on?” Lucy asked.

He looked at me as if asking whether or not we should tell them. I nodded almost imperceptibly, and he nodded back at me. Our unspoken message was understood.

“Nick’s leaving McMillan,” I said. “He put in his resignation yesterday.”

Nick walked to me and took me in his arms. Lucy’s jaw nearly hit the floor when he planted a kiss on my lips. Holly gasped. And I grinned.

The kiss was quick – we were, after all, still in an office – but he knew that these were two of my best friends. His eyes never left mine as he held me close to him. “I am completely, utterly, madly in love with this woman. And if McMillan says that I can’t date her because she’s in my department, then I say, ‘Fuck McMillan.’ I’m out.” He kissed my lips once more.

“Holy shit!”
Holly exclaimed at the same time Lucy asked, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I pulled back from Nick to talk to my friends. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell anybody. Nick signed some stupid paperwork that said he couldn’t date anyone under him in his department, so we had to keep it a secret.”

“So he is the ‘new guy’ we talked about like a month ago?” Lucy was staring at Nick, who was gazing at me.

I nodded.

“And you two are in love?” Holly asked.

“So totally and completely, head-over-heels in love,” I said, gazing back at him, just as he said, “Yes.”

“Wow, it’s getting freaking hot in here,” Lucy said. Nick finally broke his gaze from me and smiled at Lucy.

“Don’t be angry with Julianne for hiding this from you. Our jobs were at stake. We couldn’t risk telling anyone at work.”

“How could we still be mad when you two are obviously in love? I’m just sad that you won’t be our boss anymore,” Lucy said. “But, Jules, really, I couldn’t be happier for you. I know how long you’ve waited for this.”

“It was almost exactly a year I waited. Did either of you see him on New Year’s?”

“What?” they both said in unison.

Nick grinned.

“That was a good plan,” I winked at him.

“I found her at Mahogany on New Year’s Eve.
Right at midnight. That was our first kiss.”

At the same time, both Lucy and Holly cooed, “Awww!”

“I never saw you, though,” Lucy said.

“It was midnight. Everyone was busy with their own New Year’s kisses. I had to find Julianne, had to kiss her, and then I had to get back to my buddies down the street at West.”

“And you’ve been together ever since?”

We glanced at each other. “More or less,” I said, completely understating our relationship and the dramatics that we had been through over the past few days.