How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (17 page)

“What are you thinking about?” Nick’s warm voice pulled me out of my reverie.

I turned from the window to look at him. He was a gorgeous, mussed vision before me, sleepy and sexy all at once, and I felt the familiar magnetic pull to him as he walked toward me. The truth was that I was thinking about him and how quickly I was falling completely in love with him. But I couldn’t tell him that; I didn’t want to scare him off, but more, I didn’t want to be the one who said it first. I liked following his lead, and I knew that he was in love with me, too, and he would tell me when the time was right. I liked letting him control the tempo of our relationship. Hell, I liked giving him control in general. So I lied. “Work stuff.”

He came up behind me and kissed my neck. I melted. “What kind of work stuff?” he
asked, his voice husky in my ear.

“Like the Cabrillo account. I need to finish.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel. I’ve been there. Let’s get it done so we can focus on just the two of us for the rest of the weekend.”

“That sounds perfect.”

He walked to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee in the mug I had left out for him, and I felt suddenly cold without him behind me.

He chatted while he poured his coffee. “I have to
say, I’ve worked my way up the ladder, and McMillan’s one of the best places I’ve ever worked, barring the whole not dating your coworkers rule. I just really feel happy there, like I could be there forever.”

“I like working there, too. The job is fun, and the people I work with are alright.”

He smirked at me as he took a seat next to me. “It just feels good. Like it will be the last job I’ll ever have. And it gave me you,” he squeezed my hand.

After our coffee and a steamy shower together, we got to work. By noon, we were both ready for a break, and we assessed what was left and determined that we could get the rest done in an hour or two. It was time for a lunch break. We went into town, and we found a bar and grill where we ordered burgers and beer. We laughed through lunch, always finding new things to talk about, and then we spent the afternoon walking through the boutique shops in town. He held my hand in public and it felt so right after being so secretive at work. He stopped suddenly and pulled me into his arms, kissing me right there on the middle of the sidewalk, and I longed for a normal, public relationship like most people had. But we couldn’t, or it could mean one – or both – of our jobs. And after he had confessed to me that morning just how much he loved working at McMillan, I was more determined than ever to make sure that we both kept our jobs. I just couldn’t imagine not working side-by-side with this gorgeous, creative, intelligent man.

When the sun started to set and the night’s chill set in, we headed back to the cabin. We spent some time finishing the Cabrillo project, and then we celebrated with some wine we had picked up while we were in town and made sandwiches for dinner.

“Great work,” he said, holding his glass up for me to clink.

“I had a great partner helping me,” I smiled, taking a sip of the deliciously sweet Moscato.

“We do make a good team. I wonder if Davidson would consider shifting things around a little?” he said, thinking aloud.

“As long as he doesn’t shift you off my team anytime soon, I’m a happy camper.”

“Agreed.
Although if I wasn’t your boss anymore, we wouldn’t have to hide our relationship.”

“That would be a huge benefit.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“Not anyone at work. I told my mom and my sister.
And Travis.”

“What’s up with that guy, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the way he looks at you.”

“I don’t know what you mean. He’s my best friend, and that’s all. What we had is planted firmly in the past.”

“Is that all for him, too?”

“Yes. Am I sensing jealousy?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘jealousy.’ But I see the way he looks at you, Julianne. It’s the same way I look at you.”

“I think you’re mistaking friendship for something more,” I said, although my conversation with Lucy about this very same topic popped into my mind.

“Maybe I am. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I trust you when you say that it’s in the past.”

“Good. And you’re my present.”

“And hopefully your future.”
He held up his glass and grinned. “To the future.”

“To the future.”
I smiled back, clinked his glass with mine, and took another sip.

Chapter 10

Sundays were becoming my least favorite day of the week because they meant that I was going to have to separate from Nick. Maybe it was unhealthy to spend all my time with a man, but I couldn’t help it, and apparently neither could he. There was no one else who I wanted to spend time with but him, and having to pretend like nothing was going on between us when we were at work was becoming increasingly difficult.

We spent the better part of the morning in bed, making love and holding each other in bliss. We got up and showered, and then we took a long, cold hike on the trails behind the cabin. It was a chilly thirty degrees, so we bundled up, and we held hands through our gloves and talked the entire time. When we returned to the cabin, Nick started a fire in the fireplace and I made us each a cup of hot chocolate to warm up after our outing. We made love in front of the fireplace, and when the sun started to go down behind the mountains, we knew it was time to start our trek back home.

We were both quiet on the ride home, knowing that this would mean a night apart. I had the Sunday Night Blues hardcore, and the thought of a night away from him was depressing. But he had to go home and get a change of clothes for the next day, and I needed to spend some time at home, too. I needed to sort through my mail and clean my apartment and do some laundry. All things that would have been more fun with Nick’s company.

Nick walked me up to my apartment and came in for a few minutes, helping me get settled. He kissed me long and
slow with those perfectly chiseled lips before he left. And when he was gone, it felt like a part of me had left with him.

I called Travis as I pulled the sheets off my bed for the laundry and separated my mounds of clothes that had been long neglected.

“Hey, babydoll,” he answered, sounding tired.

“What’s new?”

“Not much. I’m still hung over from last night.”

“What did you do?”

“Danny and I went out again. I drunk dialed Brooke and she met us, and we went home together.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“I know. More unhealthy for her than me, though. I think she thinks we’re back on.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I’m still hung up on someone else.”

“Are you going to tell me about her yet?”

“Nope. Tell me about your weekend.”

“Guess what?”

“What, Jules?” he asked.

“He said we’re exclusive,” I bragged.

Travis was silent.

“Hello? Trav, are you still there?”

“Yeah. Uh, congrats, Jules. I’m happy for you.”

He didn’t sound like it.

“Thanks. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not making much progress in my own love life.”

“I’m sorry, buddy. You will soon, I can feel it,” I said, trying to make him feel better. “Listen, I need to call my mom and Jamie, too. Do you want to come over?”

“I don’t think so, Jules. I’m really tired. I think I might just call it an early night.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.
I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Trav, I love you.”

“Love you too, Jules.”

I hung up with him and dialed my parents’ house, wondering the whole time what was wrong with Travis and what I could do to help make it better.

“Guess what, Mom!” I said when my mom answered.

“What, Jules?” she asked.

“You know how I went to the cabin with Nick?” I asked.

“Yes. How did it go?”

“It was perfect! We’re exclusively dating now.”

“Oh honey, that’s fantastic! I’m happy for you. So does this mean you can tell people at work?”

“No, not yet.” I could sense her disappointment. She didn’t think it was right to hide our relationship, no matter how valid we considered the reason.

“Well, tell me more about this Nick character,” she said.

I told her everything, from how sweet and gentle he was with me to how attractive he was. I left out the sexy details, and she strongly expressed her disapproval at hiding our relationship once again, but she understood that it was my life and that I was an adult who was making the decisions that were best for me.

I called my sister next, and she was happy for me too. She also reminded me that she only had two weeks until her due date, and I was thrilled for her. We talked the longest, and I told her all the gory details about Nick.

As soon as I hung up with her, a text came through from Nick
:
This weekend was perfect. I miss you already.

I texted back
:
I miss you, too. I had a great time this weekend.

What are you wearing
?

I laughed
.
Nothing. All my clothes are in the washing machine.

Wish I was there.

Me too. Wish you were kissing me again. Still.

Let’s go away together again.
Soon.

I would love to.

See you tomorrow.

Can’t wai
t
, I replied.             

What was weird is that I saw him only for a moment in the morning the next day, just long enough to give him the finalized marketing plan for Cabrillo’s team, and he took it to Dorsett Printing himself, hand-delivering the materials. I never saw him again after that.

Lucy, Holly, and I went to lunch together.

“Where have you been lately?” Lucy complained.

“Me? I’ve been right here,” I said.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I know. I’ve been busy with work stuff. I actually spent the better part of my weekend putting together a marketing plan.”

“Is that why you didn’t text me back?” Holly asked.

Shit. I had been neglecting my friends since I had been spending so much time with Nick. I knew it, but it was hard lying to them, too. I wanted to talk all about how great things were between us, but I couldn’t.

“I’m so sorry, Holly. I was in the zone when I got your text, and I just totally forgot to respond when I was done working.”

“We’re worried about you.” The concern was evident in Lucy’s eyes.

“Everything is fine. No need to worry.”

“You seem fine. But this is the first time we have had lunch with you in two weeks. We haven’t gone out together since New Year’s Eve. Where have you been?” Lucy asked. “Is it the new guy?”

“What new guy?” Holly asked.

“She said she had a new guy, but she wouldn’t tell me about him.”

Shit again. Now Holly knew, and it wouldn’t be long before the two of them put it together. “I’ve just been really busy. I’ve been hanging with Travis a lot, and my sister’s due any day, so I’ve been spending time with my family.”

“You’re lying,” Lucy said.

“No I’m not.”

“You always tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re lying.”

And my hair was definitely tucked.
“Alright. It’s a new guy. But my lips are sealed.”

Just then our food arrived, so I was saved when the subject changed to shop talk about our most recent projects and the launch party for Brick City the following Monday night. We gossiped about what we would wear and how much fun we were going to have. While I was excited for the party, I was also a little concerned about how to handle Nick at that party. I knew he would go; he oversaw the entire rebranding, but how would I possibly maintain my cool and not act like a puppy in love around him? These types of parties usually included dancing, and if I saw him dance with anyone besides me, I didn’t know how I would react. I didn’t think it would be pretty, though. I wanted him all to myself.

When we returned to the office, I had planned to pop my head in Nick’s office just because I needed to see him, needed to feel his gaze on me, but his door was shut. I texted him
,
Where are you
?
And then I got back to work.

About an hour later, I got a text back
:
Just leaving Cabrillo’s. Next, meetings with Davidson all
afternoon
.

I frowned, hoping everything went okay with Cabrillo. I replied
,
Hope everything is ok
.