Home is Where the Heart is (29 page)

“Well, no, not in the physical sense.”

Uh-oh. This didn't sound good. What was Nick leading to?

“So everyone's okay? No one is injured?” Panic filled his voice.

“No, but to an extent, everything isn't okay. I don't know if it's my place to say or anything, but I thought you should know—in case you were still in the game of winning her back—Cassie has a date.”

“She's dating?”

“No, she's not dating. She has a date. It's just one date. It may not even lead to anything, but you're my best friend, and as your biggest fan in the hopes you and Cassie do get back together, I thought I should tell you,” Nick clarified.

Was he still in the game? Cassie had already made it perfectly clear she couldn't be with him. What did that mean for his relationship status? Did he make an attempt to move on from Cassie, or would he be able to wait long enough until Cassie came around and realized she wanted to commit to a relationship with him?

“Um, okay, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that information, but thanks for having my back, man. I can always count on you, and it means a lot to know you'd like to see Cassie and me back together. You're probably the only one.”

Jordan just wished she actually wanted to be with him. Instead, he was simply her baby-daddy, and apparently, it was all he was ever going to be.

“How's life treating you?” Jordan asked, changing the subject.

“Uh, yeah, it's okay,” Nick responded with a grumble.

From Nick's response, Jordan guessed something was up with him, but knowing him and how secretive he could be, he wouldn't be letting him in on it anytime soon, not until he was ready to spill his troubles. “Anyway, I'll let you get some rest.”

After Jordan hung up the phone with Nick, her couldn't understand how Cassie said yes to a date with another man so easily and so soon after he confessed his love and affection for her. Was she using this date as a way to try and get over him? Jordan hoped she was only using this date as an excuse to pretend she wasn't still in love with Jordan. He had lost her once before; he wasn't prepared to let Cassie slip away all over again, because hope was all he had to lose right now.

H
ow did my life end up here? How did I get to this point in my life, where I can’t even go out on a date with an incredibly genuine man and not have a good time without the thought of my ex-boyfriend slipping into my head and making me question my entire existence up until now?

These were questions suddenly bombarding Cassie’s state of mind as she sat cross-legged in bed contemplating her next move while revisiting events from that evening when she had gone out with Jesse. Her blonde hair flowed down her back as she glanced over at the clock sitting on her bedside table. It was only 8:30. It was still early. She should have been having fun on her date with Jesse, but instead, the date was cut short and she was home by 8:15, sending the babysitter home early. Her make-up was smudged, mascara stained down her cheeks, but she couldn’t be bothered to get up and wipe it off. She didn’t care, and after the night she had endured, it wasn’t like anybody was going to see her on any other date tonight or ever again…

Cassie had been on her date for almost an hour, and while she had dressed to impress Jesse in a figure-hugging little black dress and black pumps, because Gabby had managed to convince her she had the legs to pull it off, Cassie didn’t really feel as excited to be there with Jesse as he seemed to be. She was trying to have a good time, but despite the effort she was trying to make, she knew she couldn’t pretend to like a guy for the sake of it, especially when he had expressed his feelings for her so clearly. Cassie knew she shouldn’t have said yes to the date knowing she’d be thinking about another man, but in her attempt to move on from Jordan, she thought she was finally going to do something that really would take her mind away from the strong gravitational pull she was still harboring for her son’s father.

“Cassie?” Jesse snapped her out of her thoughts when he spoke her name in a hushed tone.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

Cassie looked around at the other people dining out tonight, enjoying their significant other’s company. That should be her and Jesse right now, except that it wasn’t. Jesse was a great guy, and she wasn’t even listening to a word coming out of his mouth. She was a crappy date. She knew it.

He was ridiculously good looking in a pale blue shirt and crisp, dark blue jeans. Other women would die to be lucky enough to be in her shoes right now, and she was ruining the night for the both of them.

“You’re not having a good time, are you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“A little—yeah,” Jesse conceded.

“I’m so sorry. I know I’m a bad date tonight.”

“It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not.” Cassie was shaking her head. “You don’t deserve this.” No one deserved to be ignored when they were on a date. “I think that maybe I bit off more than I can chew tonight, and it’s not very fair or polite to you.”

Jesse folded his arms on the table. His face grew somber. “Do you think maybe you jumped headfirst into this date with me without considering how you really feel about Jordan?”

“Yes, I think I did,” Cassie agreed with Jesse, toying with a chip on her plate. “I’m sorry for stringing you along the way I have.”

“It’s okay, Cassie,” Jesse spoke plainly. “No, you shouldn’t have strung me along, but maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to go out on a date with you either, knowing you had a complex relationship with your ex-boyfriend.” He paused, using his knife and fork to cut a piece of steak and pop it into his mouth, chewing slowly.

When he swallowed his mouthful, he opened his mouth again and let the words come out, speaking from his heart. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. It’s not that I don’t like your company, but if you don’t want to be here, then please do not feel as though you have to finish the date with me. I think we’ve past that stage, and besides, I can always find someone else to talk to.” Cassie followed his gaze toward a busty brunette over by the bar giving him the eye, and she let out a small chuckle. He had her there. When he was as good looking as he was, in a Chris Hemsworth kind of way, he had no trouble finding a date to talk to.

Cassie didn’t know what to do other than know there was truth to his words. She couldn’t be here. She didn’t feel comfortable being here with Jesse when she was thinking about Jordan.

She pushed back her chair, setting the napkin on top of her plate.

“You know, you really are a true gentleman. I don’t know how many men would be as humble as you to accept that a date was a complete bust that should never have happened. You’re going to make a woman the luckiest person in the world someday.”

She ran a hand through her blonde hair, taming her tresses.

“It happens. I’m not going to get all bent out of shape over it. The way I see it, you’re either meant to be or you’re not, and we’re simply on a different path for finding true love.”

Cassie rose to her feet and showed him a smile Jesse returned to her.

“Cassie?” he stopped her in her tracks when her name was uttered softly, and it made her turn back around. He left her with some final food for thought. “Don’t allow your past to determine your future. You can use those bad memories as a learning curve to securing a better outlook in your relationship, but you have to follow your heart, or otherwise, you will never truly be happy.”

Thinking back to those final words Jesse spoke, she knew they were more encouraging than she first realized. He was right, and tonight had given her more of a push in the right direction than she ever would have done had she not gone out and had a lousy time.

“You can do this, Cassie. You have to. You have no choice if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone,” she said out loud to herself and rolled her eyes.

Oh, god! I’m talking to myself,
Cassie thought
. Who’s really going to want me now?

She picked up her phone and dialed a number in her phone before she lost her nerve and decided not to do it, tucking her knees up and hugging her legs close to her body.

Her hands were trembling, and her palm was sweating. She didn’t know a phone call could make her so nervous.

“Hello?” Cassie heard him pick up.

“Jordan?” she asked him.

“Yes. Cassie?” he said on the other line. “What’s the matter?”

“Yes, it’s me, and nothing’s wrong. I just called to say…I think I’m still in love with you.”

Cassie couldn’t get the words out fast enough, and they were quivering with terror.

“You think you love me?”

Cassie breathed in a deep breath, steadying her nerves slowly.

“No, I know I love you. I’ve always loved you, but I’m scared to open my heart up to you at the risk of being burned all over again. I even went out on a date tonight to try and get over you.”

“You went out on a date?” Jordan tried to sound surprised, but Cassie couldn’t be fooled.

“Yes. His name is Jesse and he works with Nick. I went out with him tonight, but I wasn’t having as much fun as someone should be having when they go out on a date. His wise words spoke to me, and that’s when I finally realized I couldn’t let our past effect the future that’s likely for us if I can just allow myself to open up and believe in the possibility of second chances,” she rambled in one breath.

“He sounds like an astute man.”

“He is, but you don’t sound surprised to learn I went out on a date.”

“Why would I be? Besides, I knew you were going out on a date tonight. Nick called me earlier today and told me. But what matters is he led you back to me.”

Cassie had a “duh” moment. She should have known Nick might call Jordan and tell him.

“And of course I’m not going to be jealous or anything. You said you love me.”

Cassie couldn’t see his face, but at the sound of his voice, she knew he was showing one of his smug grins right now, like he had been right all along.

“I do,” she said softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hearing him return those words to her made Cassie feel good. “And I know you’re scared—I’m scared too—but I also know this time isn’t like last time. I was just a kid and starting college then. Now I am an established man with a great career, and I am able to stand up to my father, who is no longer on my back telling me things I shouldn’t have listened to in the first place. I know what I want, and what I want is to be with you. You’re all I have ever really wanted. Of the all women I’ve dated throughout the years, they’ve never compared to you. You’ve always been in my heart, and you will continue to be in my heart forever. I know that we can make it work this time—as a family.”

Happy tears ran down Cassie’s cheeks, making her mascara run even more. She looked like a horrible mess, but she didn’t care. She was happy, and that was all that mattered to her.

Cassie and Jordan spoke for another ten minutes with him reassuring her of his love for her before she finally let him go and get some sleep to be ready for another big day of training tomorrow and saying goodnight to each other.

After Cassie cleaned her face so she’d be fresh and make-up free, she climbed back into bed with a smile as big as the moon, and when she felt her eyes flutter shut, drifting into a peaceful sleep, she was anticipating the moment she would finally reunite with Jordan and could show him just how much she loved him.