Home: A Novel (7 page)

I finally looked up to see the warmth in Justin’s eyes. “I wasn’t held responsible legally because the city of
 
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roy built the stage, but I still feel like it was my fault. Of course the media had a field day. I’m sure you heard about it somehow. My PR team did a great job of damage control but there was still backlash. After that, when crowds of people got too close I started freaking out. My biggest fear being that I’ll be trampled to death.” I shrugged. “That’s part of the reason I decided to quit.”

“What’s the other part?” he asked softly.

I shook my head, hoping he would just let it go.

“Tell me about everything happening around here,” I said as my feeble attempt to divert the attention away from me.
 
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hankfully, Justin didn’t push it.

We sipped our beer and talked about nothing too deep. I found out that Justin had been working to buy his folks’ farm from them. He had a good amount of land, and also raised pigs and cows. He still had horses, but they were mostly for pleasure riding than show. After his parents moved into town, he started renovating the farm house one room at a time.
 
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heir farm was older than ours, and it had never been their top priority to do any upkeep. He told me the last time they had decorated was the early Seventies, and the green shag carpeting had seen the end of its days.

We talked about old friends from high school and what they were doing now.
 
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e talked about my brothers and their families. I wasn’t surprised to hear Justin still hung out with his two best buddies from high school, Evan
 
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akefield and David Lyons. I was glad to see their friendship stood the test of time.

We talked about everything Glenview and not one thing Nashville until our food arrived.

“This looks delicious,” I said as I checked out the plate in front of me. Broasted chicken and fries with a side salad.
 
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um.

“Wait til you taste it, baby,” Justin replied.

Oh, there he went again with the terms of endearment. I was too busy feeling the warm tingles run through my body from him calling me baby to realize the waitress was still standing at our table.

“Sorry, but um…my daughter is a huge fan,” she started.

Oh no, please not right now!

“She would love to have your autograph, Miss Rae.”

“Sure.” I smiled my super sweet country girl smile. “And please, call me Lily.”

I quickly wrote a short message to her daughter and gave it to the woman. At least she was the only other person in the building. Justin knew this part of my life will always be there. At least until the hype that I quit the business fades away and I could go back to just being me.

Looking back across the table, Justin was halfway through his meal already. I giggled at him and shook my head.

“What?” he smiled.

“Nothing, it’s like you haven’t eaten in days,” I said, acting like I was surprised. Justin always scarfed his food down like a starving college kid.

“Well, you had me all worked up yesterday and I didn’t eat last night.” He paused to look at me. “Or today,” he finished.

The smile fell from my face.

Justin took a long drink of his beer and set it back down on the table. “I was so pissed when I saw you yesterday, but not at you. I mean, I was pissed at you, but it wasn’t your fault. I was mostly pissed at me. I wasted so much time that it all came to the surface at once and I just needed to get away from you. Look, I don’t know how you feel about me or if you even have any feelings toward me at all. But I have feelings for you, Lil. Strong ones. I’ve been living my life on auto pilot for the past twelve years, wondering if I’d ever get another chance to have you in my life. But you’re here and that chance is now. I decided today that I’m not fuckin’ around any longer.”

I stared at him momentarily, picked up my beer and drank half of it down in three big gulps.
 
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hat did I do with this? I obviously had feelings for him I never even knew were there. But to have him come straight out and tell me he’s been here waiting for me all these years made me a little nervous. It had been twelve years for Pete’s sake. I decided to simply nod at his comment and focus on my food.
 
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hankfully, even after all the macho man straight talk, he let it go.

We were just finishing our meal when I realized I had sucked down four beers already. Maybe that was why the conversation flowed so smoothly. I needed to be careful.
 
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oo much alcohol with me around a beautiful man was not a good combination.
 
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hat lesson was learned the hard way.

I couldn’t believe what I had done. I slept with Colton Jefferson.

The next morning I woke up, found my catering uniform and got out of there.
 
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alking down the steps out his front door, I called Sarah to come get me. I had no idea where I was so I just kept walking while I talked to her until the two of us figured it out.

When she picked me up neither of us said a word. I could tell it was eating her alive.

“Okay, we had sex. I don’t want to talk about it. Ever. And please don’t tell anyone. Ever,” I said to the windshield.

“Okee dokee,” she replied.

It wasn’t until a week later that I realized what had really transpired. I was at my keyboard working to put some lyrics I had written to music. My cell phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number but answered it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Yes, is this Lillian Raftzen?” the voice said on the other line.

“This is she.”

“Miss Raftzen, I’m calling from RCA Records. I’ve been advised by Mr. Jefferson to set up a meeting with you this afternoon.”

No way. He followed through. I figured since I hadn’t heard anything from him in seven days that he’d fed me full of lies to get in my pants. But RCA was calling me for a meeting. RCA!

I composed myself enough to answer. “Yes, this afternoon is just fine.
 
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hat time would you like me to be there?” I was trying not to giggle and jump up and down.

“Four o’clock, Miss Raftzen,” she answered. “Mr. Jefferson says to dress appropriately, as you’ll be going to dinner after the meeting.”

Okay, this was
 
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AY unexpected. After I hung up the phone I called Sarah. I had no clue what to wear to a meeting, let alone dinner with Colton Jefferson.
 
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e decided to meet at the mall. It didn’t take her long to talk me into charging some incredibly high priced outfit. At first I tried to talk her out of it, but she informed me that I was going to a MEETING and DINNER at RCA RECORDS and that soon I’d be able to buy anything I wanted. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but that would be freaking awesome!

Upon arrival at the studio I was ushered into a conference room.
 
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here were two other men in suits sitting across the table with Colton.
 
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hey introduced themselves as James Morgan and Stanley
 
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allace. I was given the rundown of how this would work.
 
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hey’d heard my demo and loved it.
 
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hey thought I looked the part and would need minimal work done to get prepared for the spotlight.
 
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e set up studio time so I could test a few songs and work with someone on their staff to get the right sound they were looking for.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. My mind was spinning in circles as I tried to process it all. I looked across the table at Colton and he winked at me. I smiled back at him and closed my eyes, trying to keep calm. I couldn’t believe he did this for me. I owed this man everything.

When the meeting was over, the two other men left with high hopes for what was to come. I thanked them profusely as they walked out the door.

“Told you I’d make you a star,” Colton said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

My excitement bubbled over before I realized what I was doing. I turned around and hugged him as hard as I could. He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Save some of that excitement for after dinner, sweetheart. I have plans for you.”

I pulled back to look at him grinning at me. I smiled, thinking of what he could possibly have up his sleeve. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.

“You ready to see how the other half lives?” he mumbled against my lips.

I nodded and pulled him tighter. I was ready all right, and with Colton by my side what could be wrong?

“Hey, are you okay?”

I gained focus again at Justin sitting across the table from me.

“I think we need to get drunk,” I said as I took the rest of his beer and finished it in one pull.

Which brings me to now. In bed with Justin wondering what in the hell happened last night.

“I know you’re awake,” he mumbled next to me. He turned my body to face him. I became even more aware at how awful my mouth tasted, and realized that my breath probably wasn’t any better.

I cupped my hand over my mouth. “What happened last night? Did we?” I couldn’t even say the words out loud. Justin’s arm tightened around my midsection.

“No, Lily, we didn’t. Not that it didn’t cross my mind a time or two, but I prefer my women awake when I fuck them,” he said.

I swallowed hard and looked down at his throat.
 
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he thought of him with any other woman made me feel sick to my stomach.

“Was that a common thing for you?” I whispered. “Being with other women?”

His eyes closed as he rolled me to my back, pinning me to the bed with his body. He rubbed his nose against mine, and his lips were only a fraction of an inch away. From what I could feel touching my thigh, he was just as turned on by our proximity as I was. “Honey, you left here twelve years ago and it about ripped me to shreds to watch you go. Being a nineteen year old kid I obviously didn’t handle things well. So yeah, I’ve had my fair share of women, Lil. It’s a small town and I’m sure you’ll hear all about it at some point. But you gotta know that no matter what you hear, not a single one of them got even close to my heart. Not one, Lil.” He pulled my chin until our eyes met. “You had a lot to drink last night. I brought you here and put you to bed. Nothing happened.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“And don’t worry,” he went on as he rolled back onto his side of the bed, “I called your folks after we left the bar.
 
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hey know you’re here.”

Oh crapola! I totally forgot about letting my parents know I wouldn’t be home.
 
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ell, in my defense, technically I was incoherent and didn’t know I wouldn’t be going home. I knew that argument would not fly when I saw them later.

I pushed the covers away to get up and realized I was only wearing my t-shirt and panties.

“Justin, where are my jeans?” I asked.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Not that it really mattered that he saw my silk purple panties, but still. He saw me in my silk purple panties!
 
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his was not the way this was supposed to go. In the little world inside my head we would go out a few times, maybe flirt, some harmless touching would occur here and there.
 
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hen slowly we would get to know each other and increase the physical moments after the correct amount of time had passed.
 
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he panty showing would not be for quite a few dates.
 
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his was not the way I operated.
 
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ell, it’s not the way I operated
 
anymore.
 
I couldn’t deal with a hangover and this at the same time. Oh God, please kill me now.

“Here,” he said as he handed them to me. “I figured they wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep in, so I got you covered up and then took them off. It felt wrong to look since you were passed out. But now that you’re sitting there open to the world I gotta say babe, sweet panties.”

Holy shit. I want to die. I grabbed my jeans out of his hands so hard I’m surprised they didn’t rip in half. I stood up to slide them up my legs and realized not only was Justin standing there grinning at me, but he was shirtless and wearing only flannel pajama bottoms. His feet were bare. I finally got to see what working on the farm can do to a person and I must say, I liked it. His chest was wide and his abs were rock solid. I had a personal trainer who kicked my ass six times a week for an hour and I didn’t even look close to as good as he did.

I tried to pretend I wasn’t staring at him but it was pretty hard when I’m sure there was drool running down my chin. Somewhere between high school and now he had gotten some sweet ink done. His chest and upper arms were covered with some sort of tribal design.
 
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he thick black lines swooped and swirled across his chest, running down his shoulder to his elbow. He’d been wearing a t-shirt each time I saw him recently, but the short sleeves must’ve been enough to keep it covered. I would’ve never guessed he had this done. I wanted to trace the entire thing with my tongue from top to bottom.

It was time to get out of here. I needed a little space before something happened I wasn’t ready for.

“Justin, I need you to take me home now,” I said quietly.

He looked like he was having the same thoughts as he stared at me. His eyes were still on the legs my jeans had just covered up. I could see his chest moving in and out like he was trying to steady his breathing. He took a deep breath in through his nose and brought his eyes up to mine.