Holding On (22 page)

I’m woken by the sound of
angry voices outside Shames door.  Ace.  I remember the
sound of his voice from when he came to help take care of Sadey,
now he sounds desperate.  I can’t hear who he is talking to or
what the conversation is about, but he’s upset and the man he’s
going toe to toe with appears to have it handled and sends Ace back
downstairs to help greet and join his new brothers being added to
our family as prospects.

We are also celebrating
both Ace and Gunner becoming part of the family tonight. One would
think Ace would be excited about this.  The new cut patches
arrived yesterday and Hem looked relieved to be adding them as part
of his family.  Unsure what exactly is going on among the
brothers, I don’t get a good feeling for tonight.  As long as
Shame and I are good, I can take whatever anyone wants to throw our
way.

Out of the shower and
dressed I take one last look in the mirror.  I don’t even
recognize myself.  I’m wearing a red dress that compliments my
brown eyes and hair. Dramatic makeup generally doesn’t fit me but
tonight I look hot, even if it’s just me here to say it.  I’ve
left my hair hanging down my back in large curls, for additional
effect.  If I turn around just right and my hair moves, you
can see the skin of my back and it is obvious I’m not wearing a
bra.  First time for me.  I readjust my garter, which I
bought in mind to make Shame crazy.  I step into my black
heels, reasonably inched to suit my height.  I’ve never been
in hurry to break my neck or fall or God forbid give the boys a
show so these heels are perfect.  I grab my phone from my bag
and quickly text Sadey to see if she and Hem are here yet. She had
told me via text when I got off work that she and Hem were headed
to our house to ‘work their shit out’ before tonight as Hem told
her.  

*ME:  Got my beauty sleep, making
my way down now.  The party is about to kick out into full
swing, hope you are already here and I see you down there, sister!
 Hugs. M.

*SADEY:  I’m here.  Please
hurry Mace, I need you.

Shit.  What the hell does that
mean?  Sadey is never serious when I’m talking to her in jest.
 Great, I’m hoping Hem hasn’t done anything stupid already.
 Maybe I better send a quick text to Shame so he can be on
lookout for me or Hem to ensure he stays out of trouble.

*ME: On way down sorry for
delay baby, slept bit longer than planned. Something is wrong with
Sadey, I’m concerned.  Hoping it isn’t Hem, keep an eye out
for them?  xxoo M.

Opening the door to the hall, I’m
immediately consumed by brothers, women, drink, smoke, and of
course sex.  Good grief it must be a packed room if they are
lingering all the way up here.  Or maybe they are waiting and
looking for open rooms.  Good thinking, Mace.  On that
note I turn to lock Shame’s door to avoid a surprise in our bed
later.

All the way downstairs my
stomach folds in nerves. I don’t see anyone when I arrive, anyone
meaning Hem, Sadey, Shame, Ace, or anyone else I’m comfortably
close with. Hell I don’t even see Kegs or Cherry.  Weird how
now I’m almost comfortable with those girls, they have taken their
talons out of both Hem and Shame.  I’m almost proud of them
for this.

I do spot Gunner though,
sitting alone at the bar.  He doesn’t look to be celebrating
anything.  He’s always so quiet and scary looking. Since I
don’t see anyone else I make my way to him.  He and I have
never really talked so I’m determined to change something about
that now.

“
Hi Mace, looking for
Shame? I just saw Hem with him, called him outside I think.  I
don’t know what they were looking at but Hem didn’t look pleased.”
 He’s trying to come off as casual but the worry lines in his
brow are sending out mixed signals of concern.

“
Nah, I’m not really
looking for anyone per se, just wanted to get a quick drink for
courage before I face the party.  Tonight is the first night
Shame and I are making ourselves public.  Not that we are
celebrities or royalty or anything, just ya know, it’s more for me
really.  I didn’t want us to jump out in the open and then I
have to remove my claws from some bitch’s eyes.”  He laughs.
 

Now that I remember, I have never
heard Gunner actually laugh.  He only has ever scowled at me
in Hem’s wake.  Maybe I was wrong about him too, as I was
wrong about Ace and probably Kegs.

Speaking of Ace, I want to find him
and check on him.  After he and I had our heart to heart about
Sadey I really haven’t talked to him and now I know for a fact he
hasn’t had a great night upstairs, maybe I can help him.

“
Have you seen Ace by
chance, Gunner?”  He looks at me skeptically.  He doesn’t
want to answer this question and now I’m nervous as hell.
 “Gunner, where’s Ace? If you know then you have to tell me
because if you don’t tell me then that means I go looking all over
hell for him and no telling what I run into doing this. Do you want
me opening every door to every sexcapade in my determination to
find him?”  I look at him with sad eyes, hoping he falls for
this.

“
Mace, I think you need to
sit this one out.  Stay here with me, I’m thirsty so let’s get
some shots and line them up.  I’m evening willing to offer up
a bet that you can’t hold your whiskey for more than three shots.
 Besides Mace, this is not something that concerns you and I
personally would like to not see you being witness to it.
 Hell, according to Hem even now that I’m a patched in member
here, this doesn’t include me either.”

“
Gunner, you suck at
stalling.  Tell me where everyone is at, I don’t even see
Sadey and I know she’s down here because she told me to hurry and
she was scared.  Something is wrong, you have to tell me!”
 I’m aware I’m shouting now, but don’t care.

“
Fine. Dammit Mace, Ace
decided he would get hammered early today before the patch party
and well, when people drink that much that fast it tends to have
the truth serum effect.”

“
Shit Gunner, you have to
tell me where Hem took him!  You have to tell me now.
 He’s your brother too. You know Hem, and if what I think
happened then Ace needs someone to help him.”  

I know said too much, I’ve just
insinuated that I know what was said to Hem from Ace. I’m trusting
Gunner doesn’t rat me out to Hem later.  

“
Dammit woman, you fucking
knew?  You knew how he felt about her and you said nothing?
Holy shit, Hem is going to lose his shit and I mean really, he was
borderline in losing his shit when Ace got in his face about Sadey
and telling Hem how to treat her, but you want to go waltzing down
there telling those boys who have him right fucking now that you
already knew, Jesus Christ Mace, what the hell are you doing?
 Now I sure as fuck don’t want to tell you and send you into
that mess, Dammit Mace. For the sister of the President of our
Club, you don’t think much, do you?”

I deserve his anger.  I didn’t
say anything because I really thought Ace was going to let it go, I
should have known the moment he actually referred to her as his,
mishap or not, he wasn’t going to be able to forget about her. Love
is tricky that way. Shit.

“
Please Gunner, I can
leave you out of all this, please you have to tell me.”

“
They
are in the back of the compound, Mace. Behind all the work sheds,
into the timber a bit.  There is a slab of concrete that they
take others who need a talking too and Mace, I’m only telling you
this because Hem took Sadey with him.  She was frantic. She
was begging him to just let her explain and so he grabbed her
telling her she could explain on the way.  Go see if you can
help her. Surely Hem wouldn’t punish her would he?  Even if
she betrayed him in the
worst
way, he wouldn’t lay a hand on
her, would he?”  

I see regret in Gunner’s
eyes.  He may be rethinking his commitment to the club now.
 For so long Gunner was an independent, a man who lived the
biker life but was free to roam, never committing to any Club
specifically.

Without thinking I lean
into Gunner and quickly kiss his cheek, wanting to ease his mind
that he did the right thing telling me and how I appreciate his
honesty.  I don’t have time right now to yield his guilt
completely.

He doesn’t move but
glances around the room taking inventory of who just saw me kiss
him.  I send him an apologizing glance and make my way to the
back door.  I’ve only known that pad of cement to be used for
one of two things. To beat one of our own out of a confession or to
punish someone of another cut for a brotherhood crime then send
they back to their gang sending a message.  Talking to no one
I mumble in the darkness, “Oh Ace, hold on buddy, I’m
coming.”

I take off my heels and
sprint to where I can hear the pounding of flesh and Sadey is
whimpering.  Stepping in from behind the shed, I nearly faint.
 Ace is tied up in a standing position, hanging from a wooden
post, as two nameless brothers take aim at his body in turn.
 Hem has his hand tightly over Sadey’s face to muffle her
cries, and she leans into him behind her.  She’s frantic, I’m
unsure how long she’s had to witness this.  Shame catches my
eye and he looks so pissed.  They don’t know that I knew about
this so his anger is all for Ace and probably Sadey now, most
likely she’s already been mentally convicted of an imaginary crime.
 She’s an innocent in this, she really did not know anything
about how Ace felt.

“
Hem make them stop,
please.”  Hem turns to find me standing behind he and Sadey.
 He drops Sadey immediately from his grip and sets his furious
eyes at me.  She’s sobbing on her knees trying to avoid
looking at any of us.

“
Hold up a second boys.”
He roars to his brothers.  Then comes back at me.  “You
take her back up the fucking Clubhouse.  She’s seen enough,
but she needed to see what happens to brothers who interfere with
another brother’s woman.  This ain’t personal, this is code,
and it is how we live.  She wants to be part of this life,
then by God she needs to really get a flavor for it.”

I look directly into Hem’s
face, my eyes are full of defiance. “No I’m not leaving.” My eyes
never leaving Hem’s, my chin remains strong as I continue.
 “Sadey go now, go back to the house and talk to no one. If
you would rather not go to Hems room then go to Shames, it’s locked
but Gunner can get you in.  He’s sitting at the bar.  No
one finds out about this, so don’t forget, you say nothing. I will
be there shortly to take us home, you can’t drive in this state so
don’t leave without me with you. Pack your bag because you aren’t
coming back here.”  

She nods her head as she stands and
runs away without looking back at Hem or I she is literally running
as fast as her legs will carry her.  Shame looks at me and the
anger continues to rise on his face.  He is clean of the blood
and so is Hem, I’m thankful for that because Ace didn’t get the
beating personally from them.  Those two men are so powerful
and combined, I’m unsure he would have survived it. Fuck if this
isn’t a situation that I have no backup for.  

I look at Ace.  Holy
Fuck.  He’s almost unrecognizable.  No one deserves this
for falling in love with someone.  

“
Why have you done this to
him?”  My stomach is turning and I am talking calmly all the
while the storm inside me still rages on.  “What was his sin
Hem that you would allow, wait, that you would order these two men
to beat him to this state?”  I’m waiting, getting no answer
I’m headed into Mama Bear mode.  “Fucking tell me, Hem!
 What was the great crime that matches this punishment?” The
two men that have halted the assault are panting, waiting for word
to continue.

“
He’s in
love with
my
woman!  Fucking bastard loves
my
woman and right after I patch his
fucking ass in as part of my family, he gets fucking drunk as hell
and then he decides he wants to have a chat with me about how I
treat
my
woman!
 No fucking way does that fly here, Princess.  Although
I’m enjoying this chat, I don’t have to justify shit to you.
 Get the fuck out of here and let me finish what we came here
for.”  Sick fucking bastard.  

Shame has said not one word.
 This makes him just as guilty as Hem.  He has to know
this is fucked up.  

Ace starts coming to now and I pray he
passes out again, no way he can even see anything in front of him.
So much blood dripping into his eyes and I would rather he not feel
the next blows coming.  I’m trying to buy him some time with
my attempts at calming Hurricane Hem.

“
No, fuck you Hem.
 No, you don’t really have to justify club business to me, do
you? Maybe if you did you would have thought this shit through.
 So you’re telling me his crime is falling in love with
someone?  I mean, do you really believe that people are able
to help who they fall in love with?  You think Sadey meant to
fall in love with you all those years ago?  Look at yourself!
 You fucking broke her tonight, Hem!”

I turn in a full circle
where I stand regain some composure before I continue. “I realize
it’s an emotion that you aren’t familiar with but love happens Hem,
we don’t choose who we love. Jesus, ever stop to think how or why
Sadey is with you and not him right now?  He didn’t fucking
attempt to fuck her dammit, from what you are telling me his only
real crime was bringing to light what a fucking asshole you are!”