His Texas Bride (9 page)

“I’d rather not,” Ellie said, trying for a light tone but not quite succeeding.

“Maybe not,” Travis said, “but we should.”

“What about Buck?”

“He’s obviously back in your life,” Travis said, his smile twisting a little.

“Buck is
not
back in my life,” she asserted, shaking her head vehemently.

Travis chuckled. “I think someone is in denial.”

She shrugged. Travis was probably right. Just because she didn’t want to think about Buck didn’t mean he wasn’t affecting every aspect of her life.

“I thought maybe the two of you were getting back together again when you left the gym together,” he said softly.

A raw stab of guilt hit Ellie, and she felt even worse about herself than she had before. Travis was the innocent party here. He didn’t deserve to be caught between whatever was
not
going on between her and Buck.

“I’m really sorry for leaving you like that,” she apologized. “But I assure you Buck and I are not back together.”

“Well, you should be.”

Travis’s statement shook Ellie to the core. She was glad she was sitting down. “How do you mean?”

Travis sighed. “Look, Ellie, I care a lot about you. You know I do.”

“And I’ve met your thoughtfulness with blatant disregard,” Ellie replied. “I’m so sorry.”

Travis reached for Ellie’s hand. “Please stop apologizing and hear me out.”

“Okay.” Ellie stared at Travis, waiting as he gathered his thoughts.

“I guess I’ve known for a long time our relationship wasn’t going to work out.”

“But—”

Travis held his free hand up, palm outward. “Please. Let me finish.”

Ellie nodded miserably.

“If we were meant to be together, we’d be together. I’ve certainly pushed you on the subject enough. I think there’s a reason you could never quite find it in your heart to commit to me.”

Ellie looked away, unable to meet Travis’s tender gaze. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did have commitment issues. If she did, Buck Redmond was certainly the cause of them.

“Buck didn’t come back into town to renew a relationship with me,” she stated firmly, feeling the nudge of pain her words brought with them.

“Perhaps not,” Travis answered. “But you can’t deny there’s something still between the two of you.”

She
wanted
to deny it. Oh, how she wanted to deny it. But she would be lying, and they both knew it.

“For a long time I hoped your feelings would
change toward me,” Travis said. “You and I have always been good friends. But I’ve come to realize that’s all that will ever be between us.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ellie said again.

Travis smiled wistfully. “Don’t apologize. It’s not like I figured that out tonight. I’ve known for some time. It’s just that tonight I put all the pieces together and figured out why—what was really going on.”

“I’m glad you’ve got it figured out,” Ellie said with a deep sigh. “I’m sure I don’t have a clue.”

“Did it ever occur to you that God brought Buck back into your life for a reason?” Travis asked gently.

“What? To torment me?”

Travis chuckled. “To test your faith a little, maybe. But also, I think, to give you the desire of your heart.”

“Buck Redmond is
not
…” Ellie started, and then her sentence drifted off into a prolonged silence.

Travis just smiled. “Buck is a proud man, Ellie. He may not even know he’s still in love with you, but trust me, coming from another man, he is. Even if he’s too stubborn to admit it.”

Ellie immediately recalled Buck’s kiss earlier that evening. He certainly hadn’t been stubborn then, or unsure of what he wanted. She was the one who’d run out like her tail was on fire.

“I’m going to take you home, Ellie. I think you and Buck need to talk, to work this thing out between you.”

“I guess you’re right,” she admitted grudgingly.

“I know I’m right. Don’t let him walk away from you this time, Ellie. Make him stay.”

Ellie squeezed Travis’s hand. “Did anyone ever tell you what a wonderful man you are?”

Travis grinned. “Oh, women tell me that all the time. I have to fight them off with a stick, you know.”

Ellie laughed. “I know you’re just teasing, but I also know there are plenty of single women in Ferrell who would love to go out with you.”

“Plenty?” Travis laughed with her. “Do you think?”

“I know,” Ellie replied, giving Travis a hug. “And I know there’s one special lady out there who God has planned just for you. She’s going to be lucky to have you.”

“Just be sure to tell Buck if he ever treats you wrong, he’ll have to answer to me,” Travis replied, still teasing but with just the slightest glimpse of truth in his gaze.

“I’ll pass that threat along,” she said, allowing the merest hint of hope to bloom in her heart. She only hoped she could follow through and confront Buck with her feelings. It might be the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.

B
uck gave a frustrated huff as he adjusted the girth on his saddle. It wasn’t the horse that was frustrating him. The thought of getting in the saddle and riding as far away from this whole situation as fast as possible was more than a little bit appealing to him right now.

Ellie
was the one frustrating him.

For over a week now Ellie had avoided him, and he labored under no misapprehensions that it was some kind of accident. She no longer ate breakfast with Buck and Tyler, but was up and out on the ranch before they rose in the morning. She didn’t join them for dinner, either, though she made the meals and had plates ready to go for everyone.

She didn’t even suggest that Buck and Tyler attend church with her, as she had when they first arrived. Buck went, anyway, but Ellie was careful to avoid him even then.

Buck knew it was his fault. He’d scared her away when he’d kissed her. Scared her straight back into
Travis’s arms, he imagined, though he hadn’t seen anything firsthand. He hadn’t returned to the reunion after Ellie had left him. He hadn’t wanted to see Ellie and Travis together, and he hadn’t been sure he could endure interacting with his old friends, so he’d headed back to the ranch, hoping Ellie would remember to turn off the stage lights, since he didn’t know how to do it himself.

The gray skittered as the girth tightened, but Buck easily followed his gelding’s movements. He had a sixth sense about horses. It was almost as if he knew what they were thinking, and he could easily anticipate Storm’s next move and took one step backward as his horse shied against him.

If only he knew what
Ellie
was thinking. He sure couldn’t anticipate her next move. He didn’t have a clue.

He wasn’t even so certain what
he
was going to do, apart from taking a nice, long head-clearing ride. Buck knew what he wanted from—
with
—Ellie. He just wasn’t sure how to get it, or even if he could.

“Dad.” Tyler raced out of the stable and over to the corral. He was smiling broadly and carrying a bridle threaded through his fingers.

Buck was glad to see his son smiling. Ever since coming back to Ferrell, Tyler had been nothing but cheerfulness and happy energy—a far cry from his old surly self.
Maybe the only good thing to come out of this time,
Buck mused.

“I brought this for you,” Tyler said, holding the bridle at arm’s length.

Buck smiled but shook his head. “I’ve already got a bridle here, son.”

“I know,” Tyler replied in a tone that Buck knew signaled his son thought his father was completely daft. “I saw you leave the stable.”

“I didn’t see you,” Buck said, surprised.

“Yeah. I was in with the new colt.”

“You’re getting too attached, you know,” Buck said in his gentlest voice. “When Ellie goes, she’s taking the horses right along with her.”

Tyler scowled, the expression Buck was used to seeing on his son’s face. The boy carefully hung the bridle on the nearest fence post and faced his father off.

He was growing up, Buck realized, both physically and mentally. He guessed the boy would match his own six feet by the time he was out of his teenage years. Taller, even. Buck was certain Tyler would enjoy towering over his dad.

“I still don’t get why Ellie has to leave. Why don’t you like her, Dad?” Tyler demanded.

Buck sighed loudly and lifted his cowboy hat off his head in order to jam his fingers into his hair.

“I like Ellie just fine,” he admitted gruffly. “It’s just…Well, it’s complicated.”

Tyler folded his arms over his head and glowered at Buck. “Why do adults always say that every time they talk to kids, like we don’t understand life or something? I’m twelve…almost thirteen years old, Dad, not a toddler.”

Buck chuckled. “Tyler,
I
don’t understand life right now. I’d give you an explanation if I had one.”

“I do,” Tyler said, still meeting his father’s gaze fiercely, straight on.

“You do what?”

“Understand life. I know what’s going on between you and Ellie.”

“Really?” Buck said, arching an eyebrow. “Care to enlighten me, son?”

Tyler scoffed and shook his head. “You’re in love with Ellie. And don’t say you aren’t, because I won’t believe you.”

Buck didn’t move a muscle, but he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. How had Tyler figured that one out? When Buck and Ellie were together—even in front of Tyler, though they both tried to watch themselves—they were constantly bickering about one thing or another. Buck hadn’t made life easy for Ellie in
any
way since he’d come back to Ferrell.

But Tyler was right, of course.

Buck
was
in love with Ellie.

Maybe he hadn’t put actual words to his feelings, but there it was, spelled out in black and white by his almost thirteen-year-old son, who was even now glaring at him, daring him to disagree with the analysis.

“And you know this how?” Buck said, stalling for time while he figured out what to say.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her when her back is turned,” Tyler stated. “And I know you do stuff around here to help her out without her knowing about it.”

“Hmm,” was Buck’s only response.

“If you just gave Ellie half a chance, Dad…” Tyler gestured with his hand, indicating that Buck could figure out the rest of the boy’s sentence on his own.

Which he could. Maybe Ellie would love him, too—except that obviously wasn’t the case, if her actions the past week were anything to go by. She
wasn’t just avoiding him; she was practically running in the other direction when she saw him coming.

“It’s complicated,” Buck said again.

Tyler’s glare became even more intense. The boy shook his head and turned on his heel, away from Buck. His shoulders slumped, Buck’s only indication of what his son must be feeling right now.

“Whatever,” Tyler mumbled under his breath as he stalked back toward the stable.

“Son,” Buck called.

Tyler froze in his tracks. Buck waited until the boy had turned to look at him before speaking.

“It’s not a pat answer,” Buck said softly. “It’s the honest truth. I can’t just waltz into the kitchen and ask Ellie to marry me, even if I wanted to.”

“Why not?” Tyler asked with the mind of a grown man and the simple faith of a child. “Why not just ask her? It doesn’t seem so complicated to me.”

“There’s…another man in her life,” Buck offered, the first excuse to come to his mind.

“So?” Tyler challenged.

“So,” Buck repeated, “I have to think about what Ellie wants right now.”

“Yeah, right,” Tyler said with the same hint of derision Buck had been used to in the past, but which had disappeared from Tyler’s speech since he’d been at Ellie’s. Now Tyler’s surly attitude was suddenly back—in spades.

Buck sighed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Figure it out.”

Buck met Tyler’s glare head-on, challenging him with his best parental stare.

“Sorry,” Tyler muttered, looking down at his feet and working the dirt with the toe of his cowboy boot, creating a small cloud of dust.

Tyler, apologizing? The boy really had changed in the month they’d been here.

“It’s okay,” Buck said instantly. “I know you weren’t intentionally trying to be disrespectful.”

Tyler shot him a wry grin.

“Okay,” Buck hedged, “maybe you were. But I’ll let it slide this time. I hear what you’re saying.”

“Good. ’Cause Ellie is a real special lady.”

“Yeah, she is,” Buck murmured. He shot his son a probing look. “Uh, how would you feel about that? If we were to stay here with Ellie, I mean.”

Tyler laughed, his sullen mood gone just as quickly as it had come. Buck envied the ability of youth to just let things go and move forward with their lives. Buck had so much baggage, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that.

“Do it, Dad,” Tyler said, as if reading Buck’s mind.

“Yeah, maybe,” Buck said, evading the issue, not at all sure what he really was going to do. He’d blown his marriage to Julie. He’d hurt Ellie terribly when he’d left Ferrell. He didn’t want to cause anyone any more pain, especially Ellie, and it seemed to Buck that pain followed him wherever he went.

“Okay. See you later,” Tyler called, turning back toward the stable.

“You going somewhere?”

Tyler looked back, and Buck watched as the boy’s face flushed red. “Out. With a girl.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “Hmm.”

“Please, Dad. Don’t go there,” Tyler pleaded.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Buck assured him. “Except have fun. And maybe be home by….” Buck paused. This was the first time he’d had to lay out a curfew for the boy, and it wasn’t something he’d thought about beforehand. “Uh, dinnertime, I guess?”

“Dad,” Tyler said, his voice high and cajoling. “I’m almost thirteen.”

“Right,” Buck replied, pulling back his smile so his son wouldn’t see. “Before dark, then.”

Tyler shook his head like his father had just lost his mind, but he didn’t argue. Instead he pulled his camel-colored cowboy hat off his head and combed his fingers through his smooth blond hair as he walked away.

Buck shook his head in amazement.

His son. With a girl.

Things were changing faster than Buck could keep up with, and here he was, contemplating sending his life straight into the ring with a raging bull.

Or rather, an angry woman. All things being equal, Buck would take the bull. He was crazy to even be thinking about staying on here at the ranch.

But he was.

Tyler was right. Things were at a complete impasse between Buck and Ellie, and they wouldn’t be made right until the two of them talked.

Buck sighed and loosened the girth on the saddle. “Sorry, boy,” he said to the horse. “Guess our ride has been indefinitely postponed.”

The horse snorted, and Buck laughed. “I get enough attitude from my son, thank you very much.”

Buck led Storm back to the stable and unsaddled him, mechanically giving him a quick rubdown and tossing
some hay into the stall as he thought of the best way to approach Ellie. Should he tell her she could have the ranch first, or tell her he wanted to stay on to help her?

Or maybe he should start by telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her for all the pain he’d caused.
Hmm.

Still musing over his dilemma, Buck walked slowly back to the corral fence, where two bridles were hanging. He picked up the one he’d taken and slung it over his shoulder, then grabbed the bridle Tyler had brought to him.

He could see the bridle had been recently repaired, and from the quality of the work, Buck easily guessed Tyler had done the work himself. Buck wondered if Ellie had asked the boy to do it, or whether Tyler had taken his own initiative, which he seemed to be doing a lot of recently.

The answer was on the bridle itself. Freshly and carefully engraved on the leather that ran up the side of the horse’s muzzle was the horse’s name, Storm. On the other side were the initials MCTR.

McBride’s Christian Therapy Ranch.

And that’s what it would stay,
Buck thought, gearing up his mind as if he were waiting to come out of the shoot on a bucking bronco. He wouldn’t change a thing about how things were run around here and wouldn’t even ask her to change the name of the ranch.

For just like the horse’s name burned into the bridle, Ellie’s name was firmly engraved in Buck’s heart. But he knew there was one more thing he had to do before he approached Ellie, one more person he needed to get right with.

Buck opened the door to the birthing stall and spoke softly to the gangly little foal, still finding its legs. And then he slipped to his knees on the soft hay and did something he hadn’t done in the twenty years since he’d left Ferrell.

He prayed.

Ellie was fitting new sheets onto a bed in one of the guest rooms when she felt Buck’s presence in the doorway. She glanced back to find him leaning his shoulder casually against the door frame, a crooked half smile on his lips.

“Do you need something?” she asked, turning her gaze and her mind back to her work.

“Actually, yes,” Buck drawled softly.

When he didn’t say any more, Ellie straightened and turned, one hand massaging the small of her back. “I’m busy, Buck. What is it you want to tell me?”

“Do you have a second?”

Ellie shrugged. “Not really.”

“You’re going to make me beg?”

Ellie chuckled. “I
should
make you beg, but I won’t. I really don’t have much time, though. I have to finish planning Tyler’s birthday party. There’s still a lot to do, and it’s only a couple of weeks away, you know.”

Buck nodded crisply. “You always were the big party planner.”

She chuckled. “Also, I have new clients coming in all the way from Kansas next week, and I still have to finish cleaning up their room and making sure all my wheelchair ramps are in working order.”

“Kansas, huh? Word gets around, doesn’t it? You
must be doing a great job here for people to come from out of state. You
are
doing a great job here,” he corrected as he took Ellie by the elbow and led her from the room, down the hallway and into the kitchen, where he seated her at the table.

“The family decided to vacation in Texas,” she explained. “Then they heard about the ranch and contacted me about coming here. Since their little boy is confined to a wheelchair, they’d like to give him the opportunity to experience a little bit of ranch life, things that might be out of his reach under normal circumstances.”

Ellie gazed deep into Buck’s bright green eyes and braced herself for the worst. This was when he was going to bring up how her therapy ranch was actually a tourist trap.

She didn’t see any way to avoid the issue any longer. Still, it was worth a try, even if it was only a temporary diversion. “Where’s Tyler?”

“Uh,” murmured Buck, shaking his head. “Out. With a friend. With a
girlfriend
.”

Ellie laughed. “Oh, that must be Sarah. She’s Cindy Spencer’s daughter. Very pretty.”