His Texas Bride (8 page)

Buck squeezed her tight. “It’s okay, Ellie. I miss my mother, but I’m dealing with it.”

“Yes, but you’re still wearing black. This isn’t the Middle Ages, you know. There’s no mourning period to observe.”

He chuckled. “It’s nothing like that,” he assured her. “I just don’t own any other color of clothes.”

“Seriously?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch. “You’re kidding, right?”

He shrugged. “I like black.”

This time it was Ellie who chuckled. “I guess.”

“Now it’s my turn to ask a question.”

“Okay,” she said, flipping her long, straight black satin hair out of her face with a toss of her head. “That sounds fair.”

“I’d wait on making that assessment until you’ve heard my question.”

“Should I be afraid?”

“Maybe,” he said, but he shook his head at the same time he voiced his opinion, knowing full well he was sending her a mixed message.

Ellie laid her head against the broadness of Buck’s shoulder, and once again Buck inhaled her fresh scent. “Then don’t ask,” she whispered.

“But I need to know,” he said close to her ear.

“Okay,” she whispered back. “Ask away.”

“Who took you to your senior prom?”

Ellie froze in his arms, and Buck immediately wished the words back. But it was too late for that now.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Call me curious.”

“Call it none of your business.”

“Okay. It’s none of my business. Tell me anyway. Was it Travis?”

“No, it was not Travis,” she said, perhaps a little louder than she should. Several heads turned in their direction. “Don’t you think if I had a relationship with
Travis back then that I’d have married him by now?” she asked in a lower voice.

Buck shrugged. “I guess. Who was it, then?”

“No one.”

“What?” Buck didn’t think he’d heard her correctly. There was no way Ellie would have found herself dateless to her own prom. She had been and still was a beautiful woman inside and out, and everyone had known it—especially the guys in her class.

“I didn’t go to my prom.”

And it was Buck’s fault.

She didn’t have to say the words aloud for the fact to linger between the two of them.

Buck didn’t know what to say. He’d been so selfish. He’d thought of Ellie every day after he left, but he’d not often considered how much his leaving would affect her. Somehow he’d assumed she’d bounce back, go on with her life as if she and Buck had never been a couple.

“It’s hot in here,” he said suddenly. “Do you want to go for a walk or something?”

“It
is
warm,” she agreed, then broke away from him, heading for the nearest exit without another word, and without looking back to see if he was following.

“Hey, wait up,” he called, but Ellie didn’t slow her pace. Buck had to jog to catch up with her as she quickly paced down one of the high school’s long hallways.

“Where are you going?” he asked when he caught up to her side.

“Anywhere but here,” she said, a little out of breath from the pace she was setting. “It’s so stuffy in that gym I can hardly breathe.”

Buck reached for her elbow and pulled her up short.
“You’re not planning to take off because of me, are you?” he asked her directly. “Because if you are, I’ll just leave now, and you can go back to your date.”

Ellie stared him straight in the eye. “I’m not cutting out. I’m taking a walk to get away from the noise. As I recall, it was your idea in the first place.”

“Then you don’t mind if I join you?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” she demanded.

Buck held both hands up, palms forward. “Asking. Only asking. Like I said, if you want me gone, I’m gone.”

Ellie sighed loudly. “I don’t want you gone.”

“Good,” Buck stated with a firm nod, “because I really didn’t want to leave.”

Ellie laughed. “But you would have. Did you find your manners somewhere when I wasn’t looking?” she teased.

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Buck replied at once. “In the drawer of my nightstand.”

Ellie looked confused. “What?”

“The Bible,” Buck reminded her softly.

“Oh.” Ellie continued walking, this time at a slower, more contemplative pace.

“Are you walking anywhere in particular, or are we just rambling?” he asked, attempting to change the subject to something less uncomfortable for both of them.

“Rambling,” she said, but in moments they had entered the theater auditorium, where Buck had first noticed Ellie back in high school.

“I found a lot of comfort up onstage,” Ellie said wistfully. “I liked acting, becoming somebody other than who I am, even for a short while.”

“I like who you are.” Buck’s throat had tightened to the point where he felt as if he was choking on the words.

Ellie gave him a surprised glance and kept walking until she was up onstage. Buck followed at a distance.

“Be right back,” she said and disappeared backstage, behind the curtain.

In moments the stage lights were flipped on, set by set. Bright colors in a number of hues nearly blinded Buck as he stepped onto the stage. He wondered how the actors could stand it and held a hand over his brow to shade his sight.

“Ellie?”

“Here,” she said from right behind him. He whirled around to see her smiling at him.

“Should you be messing with the lights?”

“I don’t see why not. I worked in the backstage crew for both my freshman and sophomore years. I know how to run the light board, and I’m not hurting anything.”

“Yes, I guess so.” Buck walked to the edge of the stage and sat down, dangling his legs over the side and leaning back on his palms. “You had some good times here.”

Ellie slipped down beside him, so close their arms were touching. “If I remember correctly,” she said slowly, “
we
had some good times here. Don’t you remember?”

“I remember the first time I ever saw you onstage,” he said. “You took my breath away.”

“As I recall, you stood outside the dressing room, waiting to introduce yourself to me.”

Buck smiled whimsically. “Yeah. I’d never been so nervous in my life. I felt like I was waiting for a celebrity, and I wasn’t sure you would go out with me.”

“You weren’t sure if a drama geek would go out with the captain of the football team? Give me a break.”

Buck threw back his head and laughed. “Okay, maybe I might have been a little more self-assured than that.”

“A little?”

“Hey, you went out with me, didn’t you?”

Ellie nodded.

“Like I said. Good times.”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking of, though,” Ellie said, her gaze distant under the spotlights.

“What, then?”

“You don’t remember, do you?”

“That depends on what it is I’m supposed to be remembering,” he said, leaning forward to stroke a stray lock of hair from her eyes. His fingers brushed her soft cheekbone, and Buck suddenly remembered a lot of things about Ellie, things he’d tried for twenty years to forget.

“Think junior prom,” Ellie suggested, leaning into his touch and meeting his gaze softly.

“Junior prom,” he repeated, as if he had no idea to what she might be referring. In truth he knew exactly what she was talking about. He hadn’t forgotten, but he thought he would tease her a little. “What about it?”

“Oh, I give up,” she said, leaning away from him with an audible huff of breath. “If you can’t remember, I’m not going to tell you.”

Buck laughed aloud, the sound echoing through the empty theater. He leaned forward, reaching to frame Ellie’s face with his hands, brushing the pads of his thumbs on her soft skin, so different than his own rough calluses.

“I remember this,” he said and then brushed his lips against hers once, and then again, softly and sweetly, just as he had done in this very spot at his junior prom.

Ellie had closed her eyes the moment Buck leaned in. She knew he was going to kiss her even before she felt his warm breath against her lips.

Their first kiss, so many years ago, shared in the quiet privacy of the theater auditorium.

He had remembered.

And she remembered, as well. Emotions she’d thought she’d shelved long ago came rushing to the surface, flooding through her as if a dam had burst inside her.

As if twenty years hadn’t passed.

As if this was their first kiss, all over again.

That moment, twenty-one years ago, had been the instant Ellie first knew Buck was the man for her, the one she wanted to spend her life with. She had been young and sentimental. It was their first date. She had hardly known Buck, certainly not enough to call what they had a relationship, much less something that would withstand the test of time.

It hadn’t, of course.

Older and wiser now, Ellie knew how foolish it was to have banked her hopes on a first kiss. In her own defense, being raised in a small town, she’d watched year after year of Ferrell Ranger High School graduates marry each other and settle down right here in the area.

She hadn’t given a thought to the fact that her life might be different. That was how it was, how it had always been, since Ferrell’s founding in the late 1800s.

Many of the kids went off to college, of course, but
the majority of them went to the local university and came straight back to Ferrell upon graduation. Ellie’s plans had included college, but they’d also included Buck. She knew he’d be working with horses, and they’d dreamed together about owning a ranch of their own.

So much for dreaming.

She’d learned the truth through the school of hard knocks. She wasn’t that starry-eyed teenager anymore, but a pragmatist with a ministry to run. There was more to life than roping a cowboy husband.

She’d told herself the same things a thousand times, but for all that, right here in the present, one kiss from Buck changed everything. Ellie was just as vulnerable as she had been as a sixteen-year-old girl. Practicality and good common sense flew right out of her head.

A sense of panic surged through her. She had to get away from this situation
right now.
She needed time to gain some perspective, or she would lose herself in the moment, and who knew where that would lead?

Straight into another heartbreak. Nowhere she wanted to go in this lifetime.

Buck had left her before. What would stop him from doing so again?

Ellie broke away from Buck and hopped off the edge of the stage. Her heart wanted to trust him, but her head was screaming louder. Warning sirens were echoing inside her mind. Hadn’t she learned anything the first time around?

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” she explained as she backed up the aisle, toward the theater doors.

Buck looked as stunned as she felt.

“What about the lights?” Buck called as Ellie
reached the doors. He was shielding his eyes with his hand, and Ellie was thankful for that, knowing from her own time onstage that Buck couldn’t see her expression in the darkened theater.

“I’ll get them later,” she replied, pushing one of the doors open. “I’ve got to get back to the reunion. I have a date, who must think I’ve ditched him,” she reminded Buck through a clenched chest and tight throat.

It was the only sensible course of action right now. The only way to salvage what was left of her heart. With immense effort, she set her mind on returning to Travis’s side, where she belonged—at least for tonight.

Back to the safety and security of the friends she knew and loved.

Anywhere, as long as it was away from Buck.

Ellie found Travis leaning his shoulder against a far wall in the gym, close to the DJ and the loudspeakers. He was a handsome man, Ellie thought, with his neat dark brown hair and an immaculate gray business suit.

So why didn’t her heart react when she saw him?

She wanted it to. If she could wish it true right now, she would. But if she were honest, she felt nothing except a sense of gratitude to Travis for his smile as she approached.

“I thought I’d lost you,” he said, leaning down close to her ear to speak above the noise of the blaring speakers.

“I went for a walk,” Ellie explained, flashing him an attempt at a smile, which felt more like a grimace.

“With Buck.” It was a statement, not a question, and Ellie knew it.

She sighed. “Yes. With Buck. I’m really sorry,
Travis. I shouldn’t have done that. I promise I won’t leave your side for the rest of the night.”

Travis stared down at her for a moment, his expression unreadable as he studied her face. Ellie didn’t know what he was looking for, but she smiled for his benefit.

“How about you take a walk with me now?” Travis suggested after a long moment.

Ellie cringed inside. She wanted to stay in the relative safety of the gym, at least until she got her emotions back under control. But she had promised Travis she would stay at his side. If he wanted to take a walk, how could she refuse?

She nodded and tightened her grip on his arm.

“Lead the way,” she said softly.

Ellie wasn’t sure Travis could hear her voice over the noise, but her nod was enough to start him walking toward the exit doors, tucking her arm into the crook of his, with his free hand gently resting over hers. It was a comforting gesture, and one that Ellie appreciated.

Travis led her outside into the cool night air. After the stuffiness of the gym, the breeze felt good to Ellie, and she inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh air.

“This is nice,” she commented softly, giving Travis’s arm a squeeze.

“And quiet,” he replied, stopping at a bench under one of the trees. “The music in there was louder than I realized. Would you care to sit down?”

Ellie nodded and took a seat. Travis sat down next to her, but not as close as she would have expected. Instead, he sat at an angle, facing her.

“I think we should talk about Buck,” Travis said without preamble.

Ellie tensed. Buck was the last subject she wanted to discuss. At least Travis could have eased into it with a little small talk, but as she searched his face, she could see he was in no mood for meaningless conversation. His smile was still in place, but his brown-eyed gaze was serious.