Hello World (22 page)

Blake
frowns, taking a step back as hurt fills him.

‘You think
that’s the only reason I’m here? Because my younger brother told me too?’ he
asks quietly.

My mouth
falls open when I realise what I’ve just said, and self-hatred flows through me
again. Why do I always have to hurt everyone?

I make a
funny noise in the back of my throat before slamming the door shut, no clue as
to what to do. I hear Blake knocking on the door again, shouting my name, but I
just slide down against it, holding my head in my hands.

‘Neve?
Neve! Please, open the door,’ Blake pleads from the other side.

Why
couldn’t I have just thrown myself off that damn bridge? It would have saved
everyone a hell of a lot of trouble.

‘Neve,
please!’

I don’t
dare move until Blake’s shouts start to die, until he finally gives up and he
leaves.

Somehow, I
end up in the foetal position again, giving myself freely to the blackness that
is unconsciousness.

When I
wake up, it’s to knocking once more. Thinking its Blake, I pull myself up and
throw the door open, ready to launch myself into his arms and tell him I’m
sorry. I just manage to stop myself though as I realise that the people at the
door certainly aren’t Blake.

One is a
tall woman, dark hair hanging loosely around her face, in smart trousers and a
long, done-up, grey coat. The other is a man in similar attire.

‘Neve
Willows?’ The woman asks, not particularly threatening but not really friendly
either.

It takes
me a moment to remember that I am Neve Willows and, very slowly, I nod.

‘My name
is DI Nickleson,’ the man introduces in a friendlier voice. ‘And this is DI
Williams. We’d like to ask you a few questions about Alex Mason.’

Jay told
them everything.

Well,
everything I had told him.

Currently,
I’m sat in a hard, plastic chair in a grey room even duller than Nadine’s
office. The two inspectors are on one side of the narrow table and Nadine is on
my right.

I’m not
being interrogated exactly, they’re just trying to find out what really happened
and Nadine hasn’t left my side since she found out through the grape vine that
I’ve been taken in. Since I’m under eighteen and not exactly arrested, they let
it slide and allowed her in, I don’t think DI Williams is too happy about it
though.

Nadine
tells me I don’t have to say anything until I get a lawyer or something but I
decide to wave her off and tell the police everything; the damage has already
been done.

Obviously,
I go through it in more detail than I did with Jay, giving them dates, times if
I can remember them and going through everything Mr Fenwick did or said, my
skin crawling the whole way through.

When I’m
finished, the detectives tidy up their notes and then Nadine turns to me.

‘Why
didn’t you tell us?’ she asks softly, squeezing my hands.

I look
down. For Alex. For Alex and his parents, that’s why.

‘Have you
ever met Alex’s parents?’ I ask all three of them in a small voice. The
detective’s nod but Nadine shakes her head. ‘Well, they’re the kindest people
I’ve ever met, but that kindness comes with a price. They are so gentle and
loving that whenever something bad happens they blame themselves endlessly. I
saw them briefly after we first found out about Alex’s death, and I could see
the pain and self-hate all over their faces. I could see that they somehow
blamed themselves for all of this, and I couldn’t give them something else to
hurt over. Because telling them that their only son had been hurt and afraid
for so many months before and they hadn’t been able to do anything? That would
have killed them, so I kept my trap shut and told them it was me everything
else had happened to. Everything else was true, everything about what happened
that
night. But I owed it to Alex to
keep the rest of it quiet.’

It’s
funny, doing this, telling this to someone. It goes against everything I have
felt for so many months. But in doing so, I can feel something lifting off me.
That weight I have been dragging around for so long is slowly dissipating.

Charlie
and Nadine have both heard my version of the story before, but I don’t think
even Nadine can comprehend the real version at this moment in time.

‘Now,’ DI
Nickleson shifts uncomfortably, ‘there is the small matter of you lying in
court, which is a serious offence-’

‘No,’
Nadine snaps sharply, her grip on my hand suddenly tighter. ‘She didn’t do it
with criminal intent-’

My eyes
widen as I realise what they are getting at. Technically I had committed a
crime after all, by lying about the events in court when Mr Fenwick was
charged.

‘Miss
Hemsworth,’ DI Nickleson says calmly. ‘Given the circumstances, we are in a
position to drop the charges, providing Neve agrees to continue with her
therapy sessions until we say otherwise.’

Nadine
pinches my hand.

‘Yes,’ I
blurt out, nodding my head before throwing Nadine a dirty look. She winks. ‘I
agree to that.’

‘Very well
then.’ DI Nickleson smiles before digging around in his pocket and pulling out
a business card. ‘I think we’re done here. But if you have anything else you
want to talk about or have any questions then give me a call.’
 

‘What
about Mr Fenwick?’ I ask suddenly. ‘You can convict him of murder, right? Now
you know, he has more of a motive, he must have killed Alex, right?’

DI
Williams sighs sadly.

‘Miss
Willows, we investigated the possibility when the case was first opened and
there was no solid evidence for this. Even with your statement today it doesn’t
change that, though we will strive to try and solve this with the new
information. Providing you are telling the truth this time?’

I decide I
don’t like DI Williams, but she’s only doing her job so I nod and bite back a
snarky comeback.

‘I swear.’
I say calmly. ‘But it was murder, right? I mean deliberate murder, not just a
mugging gone wrong, he was hit directly on the back of the head, right?’

DI
Nickleson sighs.

‘I’m
afraid we can’t disclose details on cases, but yes, it sounds like it.’

I bite my
lip and sit back in my chair. If Mr Fenwick didn’t kill Alex, who did?

Nadine and
I are finally allowed to go but I stay silent as we emerge from the room. Then,
across from the hallway, emerging from another grey room is another familiar
couple, and I stop dead in my tracks, not being able to stop myself from
staring.

Delia and
Ron Mason are standing in the hallway, holding each other closely. Ron looks up
and catches my gaze before letting go of his wife and beckoning over to me. I
stay frozen until Nadine gives me a little push of encouragement.

Mechanically,
I walk over to Alex’s parents, inwardly cringing at the tears on Delia’s cheeks.
Those tears are because of me
.

To my
surprise, Delia opens her arms and pulls me into a hug, crying endlessly onto
my shoulder, her arms wrapped around me tight. In shock, I break into tears too
and we hold each other fiercely.

Eventually,
we let each other go and Ron puts a hand on my shoulder.

‘We heard
everything,’ he tells me, referring to the room behind the black glass window.
‘We know what you did, thank you for that,’ he says, trying to keep his voice
steady. ‘You shouldn’t have kept it to yourself, for your own sake, but thank
you nonetheless. Alex was lucky to have someone like you.’

His words
startle me. I have been expecting him to never want to see me again, which is
why I have been avoiding him ever since. But, for him to say that…

‘Thank
you,’ I manage to choke out.

‘You’re
free to come by anytime,’ Delia tells me, putting a hand on my cheek and
another on my arm. ‘Why don’t you come around to dinner sometime? We have some
catching up to do,’ she smiles.

‘That
would be great, thank you,’ I sniff, nodding and managing a smile of my own.
Ron squeezes my shoulder and Delia hugs me one last time before they head off.

As I watch
them leave, I see another figure enter the police station, his briefcase in one
hand and his hair ruffled, his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

Charlie.

I break
into a run and cross the size of the station in no time at all, throwing myself
into his arms. Charlie is ready catch me and I collapse against him, his strong
arms holding me up as I shake. I clutch to him tightly like I’m five years old
again, like I used to do whenever I fell over and scraped my knee.

Charlie
kisses the top of my head, whispering encouraging words to me and holds me
against him protectively. He shares a few quick words with Nadine to catch up
on the situation before taking me straight home.

We don’t
talk, neither of us knowing what to say. When we get in, Charlie puts on a
movie and we again watch that in silence, both of us afraid to say anything but
needing to stay together.

When
Charlie does put tea on, we start eating in silence, but he eventually breaks
it.

‘You know
you can talk to me about anything, right?’ he says at last, putting his folk
down.

‘I know,
Charlie…’ I frown, also discarding my dinner. ‘But this time I just couldn’t. I
know it’s hard to understand… I can hardly understand it myself but it was just
something I couldn’t share with anyone… please don’t be mad.’

‘I’m not
mad,’ Charlie sighs, shaking his head. ‘I just… I don’t understand this either.
I know I’m no good at this parent stuff, I mean, lets face it, I haven’t got a
clue. Just, tell me how I can do better, tell me how we can avoid this
happening again,’ he asks desperately, running a hand through his hair.

‘Oh,
Charlie,’ I say softly, pushing up from my chair and dragging it around to his
side of the table. ‘I know I don’t say it enough, but you are the best father
figure I could ask for. I wouldn’t change you for anyone, I promise. You’ve
taught me so much, and you’ve always been around for me. This was just
something I had to do on my own. I wouldn’t have told my parents either.’

‘But
that’s the problem,’ he argues miserably. ‘I need to know that if, God forbid,
anything like this happens again… or if you’re having any troubles at all… I
need to know that you’ll come to me first instead of keeping this to yourself.’

‘I will,’
I say honestly, nodding my head. ‘I promise I will.’

‘Okay,’
Charlie says at last, finally accepting.

The
doorbell goes then and we both look towards the door.

‘I’ll go.
It could be the detectives again, or Nadine,’ I volunteer. Charlie just nods
and I notice the dark circles under his eyes. Leaving him in the kitchen, I go
to the door and open it carefully.

It’s Jay.

‘Neve-’ he
starts, but I don’t want to hear it.

Without a
second glance, I slam the door shut in his face.

‘Who is
it?’ Charlie shouts. I just sigh and shake my head.

‘No one,
Charlie. No one.’

The next
morning, I wake up with a stiff neck and work out that I must have slept in a
funny position last night. I sit up and stretch, taking a look around my room.
It’s still a complete mess, one I can’t be bothered to clear up. The old diary
sits on my desk, discarded these past few weeks but all of its pages still
burned into my mind. Everything my tormentor has said to me.

I ignore
it.

I ignore
everything actually, just staring at my ceiling until Charlie knocks on my
door. I tell him its open and Charlie emerges, a brown envelope in his hand.

‘This came
for you this morning,’ he tells me, lying it down the bed. ‘Do you want me to
stay at home today? Because I can-’

‘I’ll be
fine,’ I tell him with a smile. ‘I’ll take the day off school but I’ll just
stay here. I’ll be fine and I’ll call you if I need anything,’ I repeat.

Charlie
looks conflicted but I tell him to go and eventually he does. Then I turn my
attention back to the envelope. I regard it closely and slight dread runs
through me.

Is it
another message from my tormentor? One last disaster to tie it all together?

Then I
notice my full name and address typed at the top and decide it’s too official
too be anything from my tormentor.

Curious, I
open the package and out drops several leaflets and promotional booklets for
Cambridge Regional College, along with information on how to prepare for my interview.

At first
I’m ready to discard it, throw away my future all over again but then Ron’s
words ring through my ears.
Alex was
lucky to have someone like you.

And
Charlie; what would Charlie say if I threw this all away now?

I will have a future
, my mind tells me.

Then I
think unwillingly of Jay. The boy who is the whole reason I’m holding these
booklets in my hand in the first place. The boy who has been trying to fix me
from the moment he found out I was broken.

The boy
who’s face I slammed a door in front of.

If Jay
went to the police, it was only to help me, not to spite me. That’s all Jay has
ever done; help me.

Dammit
.

Retracting
my promise to Charlie made only a few minutes ago, I get ready to leave the
house and set off in search of the Ellsworth boys.

I
need
to speak to Jay. Blake too.

I fly out
of the front door and find my bike propped up against the wall. Jay must have
brought it home from school for me yesterday.

Groaning
to myself for once again acting like a cow, I grab my bike and ride full-speed
towards the house.

As I reach
the house though, a faint ringing of sirens breaches the barricades of my
headphones and I peddle faster, nausea rising up. I turn into the street and
pull my bike up to a screeching halt, letting it drop to the floor as I pinpoint
the sound of the sirens.

An
ambulance sits outside the Ellsworth house, a crowd of people building around
outside.

Disentangling
myself from my headphones and bike, I run the last leg on foot, pushing though
various people until I see Blake standing in the front garden, looking up at
the house. My pace slows as terror flows through me.

‘Blake?’ I
squeak nervously. Blake turns at the sound of my voice, his eyes red as if from
crying. ‘What’s going on?’

Blake
shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose.

‘It’s
Jay,’ Blake says distantly. ‘He’s not waking up.’