Hand of Thorns (16 page)

Turning, I head straight to the bathroom, holding back the tears until I'm through the door. I instantly break down crying when I know I'm alone. Everything makes me cry lately, my hormones have been out of control, but I haven't felt like this yet. Like I'm such an insanely horrible person for everything going on. I know it's fucked up, I can admit the flaw in it all. It's not like I haven't wished it were easier, or that I didn't feel this infatuated with the entirety of Leon. I know someone is going to end up hurt in the end, and I know that someone is likely me.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I try to take a cleansing breath before splashing a little cool water on my face. Using a paper towel, I blot the water away, but I'm still blotchy. No one has come in to check on me, so I probably scared them off, which wasn't at all intentional.

It is my birthday though, and regardless to if they meant to upset me, they did. I should have never told anyone, I should have kept it all to myself. I'm starting to find that having someone to vent to isn't always for the better, sometimes a lecture is unnecessary when all you need is a listening ear.

Walking back out, the table is cleared off, and the three of them all give me solemn looks. "I'm sorry," Penelope is the first to apologize. Not that I expected apologies, I merely needed to stop things before they escalated. "It's your birthday," she continues. "That was uncalled for. And you know what, I'm honestly a little jealous. You have something mysterious and forbidden, something steamy and hot, and you haven't even gotten naked with him. I have... William. So from here on out, unless I truly believe you need guidance, I'll simply be a listening ear, and I'll live vicariously through you."

"Thank you, Penny." I squeeze her hand. "And no need to be jealous, I'd rather have a loving relationship with someone than be in this heap of a mess."

"I'd rather be in your heap. It's Leon Owens, Monica. He's the Brad Pitt of our generation." Rochelle adds in a wink.

"Hey, what do I know," Sumner adds in after everyone. "I'm still a virgin."

"Have you even kissed Gunther?" Penelope asks, and I'm happy for the change in topic.

"Yes, we kiss. A lot. And I let him play with my boobs with no shirt on." Her face turns super pink, and even more so when we all slightly chuckle. I definitely can't say much, I'm really not much different than Sumner. In fact, I'd prefer my first time be nonexistent. I'd love for Leon to be my first... and last... and only.

Rochelle scoffs at Sumner's lack of experience. "How? How do you hold so much willpower that you're still intact?"

"Uhh..." If I had thought she was embarrassed before I was wrong, as Sumner's face isn't pink, it's a dark shade of red.

"What? We need the details," Rochelle instantly starts in.

"I have a vibrator."

We all stare, wondering if she is going to continue with something much more... exciting. When she doesn't Rochelle leans back in her chair, immediately losing interest. "So? We all do."

"I don't," I admit. "But it's not like I haven't... you know." I advert my eyes downward for a quick second to indicate what I'm talking about.

"Masturbated?" Rochelle whispers. I nod as she starts to laugh. "Dear God, I hope you all do. If not, I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. I'm pretty certain I was like twelve when I discovered that feeling."

We all slowly look around at each other, no one else admitting to anything. Penelope finally reaches down for her purse. "Well, I'd like to take a shower at some point today."

She stands to head towards the exit while Rochelle cocks an eyebrow in mine and Sumner's direction. "We were just talking about masturbating and now she wants to take a shower." With a wink, she follows towards the exit.

Sumner and I both stand up, but she looks a little sad. "Are you alright?" I ask, in case something is bothering her.

She shrugs. "Gunther asked me recently if I'd go further with him, but I'm not ready. I'm scared he's going to cheat on me."

"Is this where the sudden lectures are coming from?"

She shrugs. "Maybe unintentionally.

"Are you still not ready at all?"

"No, it's not that. I'm just... scared."

"Of?"

"Everything. Sex changes people. Look at what happened with you and Dustin. You two were perfect beforehand, then out of nowhere he dumps you and shatters your heart. And Penelope, who was using protection
and
a backup method and still got pregnant. There are a number of STD's out there. All around it's hard."

"It is." I stop to look at her, just as we're at the front door to leave. "Honestly, I think that is why I'm lusting for Leon the way I am, and why I'm enjoying what is happening so much. The unknown, the thrill, the fear, the everything all wrapped into a sloppy gift under a dead Christmas tree. It's a crazy mess and it doesn't seem appealing, but under that wrapping paper is the best damn present ever, and the feeling you get will never go away. It's worth at least taking a peek, right?"

"That was the worst analogy ever, but I get your point."

"Don't do anything you don't want to do, and don't let him force you, but if you feel he's the one, then take that step. You'll regret it a lot more if you don't take the risk than if you do."

"How did you turn out to be so inspirational anyhow?"

"I've been getting lectured a lot lately," I mock.

Thankfully when we get back to the beach house, we're all focused on showering, our hair, clothing, and makeup so much that every awkward, annoying, and serious conversation we had this morning goes right out the window, and the four of us are able to laugh and speak with each other as we normally do. Which is what I love about my friends the absolutely most, our ability not to fret on unimportance.

Once we're all ready, the girls all bring me to my surprise- a burlesque styled drag gueen show, where we were handed feather boas, and our drinks had penis straws. I'm not quite sure if I've ever laughed so hard in my life, but I do know we had the wildest time ever- even if we only sat there and watched. At the end they called me to stage for my birthday, where I was seated in chair mid stage, and two of the drag queens twirled around me, lip singing along to Happy Birthday Mister President. I got to go home with a penis flask as a birthday present, with the logo slapped on the side of it.

By the time we're back, I'm ready for bed. It exhausted me to sit there and laugh for three hours. I throw myself down on the couch and groan, complaining out loud about my body hurting and needing a nap.

"Then drink some caffeine, you need to be awake for tonight," Sumner states. "Leon will be here in less than twenty eight minutes."

"Twenty eight, really?"

"Yup, because I told him he had to pick you up at five thirty, and it's currently five oh two. He also is required to bring you back before eleven so we can go skinny dip in someone’s pool."

I stop myself from standing up, cranking my neck to turn in her direction. She fiddles with the bag of groceries she picked up on the way back home, pretending she didn't say anything. Rochelle doesn't seem to care none too much, and Penelope is already fast asleep in the recliner, so I have no one to defend me. "Who said anything about skinny dipping?"

"Oh come on," Sumner whines. "I tried to get you to last year but you wouldn't. So we're going to this year. You have no excuses this time!"

"My excuse is that I'm pregnant and don't want to."

"I'm on my period and I'm still planning on going," Rochelle adds without looking up from her phone. When neither of us say anything, because we're far too busy staring at her disgusted, she finally peeks up. "What? You do know about the invention of the tampon right?"

Turning to look at Sumner once more, I ignore Rochelle completely, but I use her as an excuse. "I'm not going if she's in the middle of shark week."

"Like a stupid piece of fabric is going to make any difference," Rochelle argues. I still ignore her.

Sumner walks further into the kitchen to put groceries away. "We'll see. I bet you're going to be too spent with Leon, you won't have the ability to argue with me."

I fall backwards on the couch. I can't win.

Leon walks to the door, and for the first time he actually looks coy. Probably because all my friends decide to greet him, then swoon when he hands me a bouquet of red roses. As we step out into the still humid weather, he whispers, "One of them were fake."

I peek over at him curiously. "One of what?"

"The roses. You said we were like Beauty and the Beast. I didn't want all the roses to wilt, at least not anytime soon."

He opens the car door for me and I want to thank him, but currently I'm too busy staring at him in disbelief. How can someone so agitating and confusing be so... romantic?

He must know what I'm thinking, because Leon's smile broadens. "Wasn't what you were expecting?"

"Honestly? Not even close."

"Good. Happy Birthday, beautiful. Now get in the car." He winks before pushing the door closed, then races to his side of the car. It's not until he's in his seat that he leans over to give me a small peck on the cheek. I don't push for more because of what he said yesterday, about being in the public's eye.

He asks about what we have done so far, so I tell him about breakfast and the drag queen show, and what we're planning for tonight. He listens, glancing over every now and again, while he drives us down the coastal line. It isn't a far drive when he pulls up to a gated fence, where he punches in a code. The rod iron gate swings open, allowing us to pull through, and I read the sign Luscious Surroundings Marina.

"A boat ride?" I ask, looking around. There are highly expensive vehicles parked around, so I know this isn't your everyday marina.

He pulls into a parking spot, killing the engine, and not saying a single word to me. Together we walk towards the pier. I urge to hold his hand which he keeps pocketed, I'm sure for the same reason. He nods his head as we step onto a smaller dock to three people standing there, all in uniform. A captain, and two others dressed in navy blue.

"Good evening, Mister Owens. I'm Captain Alfred Jenkins, these are your personal assistants for the night, Madison and Tony. Please inform them of anything you need." They shake hands together, then the captain reaches for my hand to shake as well. "Come aboard and we'll get you settled."

He moves out of the way to allow Leon and myself to climb aboard the gorgeous two story pearl white yacht- or maybe it's even three stories, I can't tell yet. "You rented a yacht?" I whisper when we get onto the main cabin. I can already spot what appears to be a hot tub in the distance. "Or... do you own it?"

"I rented it for the night."

Before I can say anything more, the two assistants stand before us. The older female with striking blue eyes and black hair, almost a Katy Perry look alike, motions for us to follow her. "If you come this way, I'll show you around. This of course is the main deck where later on you'll have a small chance at viewing some whales and dolphins maybe even a couple sharks if you're lucky." She smiles to Leon, completely avoiding my existence. "Over here there is the hot tub, which is currently at only ninety nine degrees, as requested. If you need any help, I'll be more than happy to assist you with anything. Over here we can head downstairs to your personal cabin."

I glance over at Leon. "You had them lower the temperature?"

"You're pregnant. I was told anything over one hundred degrees was unsafe for the baby."

"Oh, right. Good thinking." And I
am
glad he said that, because honestly I didn't know that beforehand. The fact he is reading up on things like that, and making the suggestions he is, proves he's going to be a great dad.

"Through this door is your cabin, where you have a queen size bed and a television, and through this door here is the kitchenette, which is fully stocked. We have your dinner plan already, and supper will be served promptly six thirty in here. She opens the door to the third door and it's a formal dining area with one table placed in the center. There are white lights surrounding all the windows and the table. An array of pink, white, and red roses are placed on the table, along with the plates set up for dinner. My stomach twists with happiness, I didn't think I'd ever have someone do something so thoughtful and romantic for me.

Madison continues to explain parts of the ship while we follow along, and within fifteen minutes we end up back where we started. "Thank you for the tour," Leon tells her, slipping her some money. "We'll meet you in the dining area when the food is ready, until then we'd prefer some privacy if you don't mind."

"Certainly. There are phones throughout the ship. Pick one up and press five, it'll connect you to either Tony or myself." She never once even looks in my direction, as if I'm completely invisible. I don't let it bother me though, in some ways I wish I were invisible.

Heading back towards the stairs, I ask, "What about everyone on the ship, or anyone who sees us together? You're risking it as much as kissing me in public."

"The crew all signed non-disclosure agreements. And if we're seen together... There is always a back story, so long as we're not romantic in the photos."

I hate the feeling it gives me, so I ask something I know I probably don't want to know the answer to. "Do you have a lot of mistresses?"

He stops seconds before the bedroom door to turn and look at me. "Don't call yourself that."

"Well, I technically am." And I hate that fact immensely.

Leon places his hands on the wall on either side of my head, causing me to be pinned against the wall. He is mere inches from me, and I want to forget this conversation and kiss him, but somehow after seeing the way the girl flirted with him, it made me too curious to keep the question to myself. "No," he states sternly. "No you're not a mistress, no I have no one else I'm with. Eleanor and I have been together for a long time, and you're the first and only person I've swayed away from her with."

I swallow hard, pushing away the emotions I feel being brought on suddenly. I don't want them. I want to forget it all so I can spend a romantic evening with Leon. Nodding my head, I tell him, "Okay." Although my voice comes out a mere whisper.

"I know this is difficult," he sighs. "Maybe one day it'll be different."

"So there is a possibility?" The idea of us being together and not having to hide it thrills me far more than it should.

He racks my face over with his sterling silver eyes before speaking again. "Let's enjoy tonight. It's your birthday and I have a few things planned." I nod, accepting the small amount of hope he gives me. "First one starts in here." Flashing a grin, he reaches over to the door, opening to reveal a large bed covered in rose petals.

I gasp at beauty of it all. "Wow, you didn't have to-"

"Shh." He holds his finger against my lip, turning my body so I'm faced away from the bed. Step by step we slowly make our way into the room. I look up at him with amazement, wondering how I got so insanely lucky. He gracefully lowers me onto the bed, not looking anywhere except into my eyes.

I'm comforted by the silk of the blanket, surrounded by an extensive amount of rose petals, and Leon lowers his lips to mine. A powerful feeling courses deep through my veins, and I know without a doubt this is what love feels like. Any ounce of uncertainty I had is now vanished. Leon is the one for me, and I'll forever hold him in my heart.

His hands run along my bare skin, and thoughts of how this is going to end try to break through my happiness, warning me to stop getting so attached. His kiss is powerful. All-consuming in the most delicious of ways. His touch is like the rose petals; silky and smooth. But the more he touches me, the more I realize that his hands are the rose, and with a rose there are a thorns. I'm going to get scathed.

When he presses his lips down my neck, kissing me with needy passion, I tell myself that I'll allow his hand of thorns to touch me, so long as that flower never wilts. With beauty comes pain, and sometimes the pain is completely worth it.

Leon unsnaps my shorts, lacing his fingers into the waistband to lower them. Glancing down at what I’m wearing, he gives me an approving glance. "Much better." They're nothing special since I didn't plan ahead of time, but I'm glad he approves of my teal and white stripped thong. "But they've got to go, too," he whispers, while he starts to lower those as well.

I arch towards him to allow him to discard the material and as I do, he leans down to kiss the skin just shy of my belly button. Holy fuck, no one has ever kissed me that way. He continues to lower his mouth, pressing kisses extremely close to a place no one besides him has ever used their mouth to be intimate with. I close my eyes, as a resort to not looking, but when he spreads my legs further with his hands and his tongue runs along my part, I have no choice but to stare at him with fascination.

"God you taste amazing," he says against my skin before taking another taste. I reach for a pillow and cover my face with it, hoping to cover up the moans.

Leon pushes two fingers inside of me and seconds later the pillow is being removed and thrown to the floor. "Do you enjoy this?" he asks, pulling and pushing his fingers from inside of me. I nod my head wildly, loving the feeling in fact. "Then I want to see you enjoy it."

The way his eyes intensify fuels me with passion. I breathe out, "Okay." He smile spreads approvingly before his mouth lowers onto me once more. He uses both his finger and his mouth to bring me to an intensity unlike ever before, building me quickly with an urge for release. I scream out, not caring who can hear me. My body starts to grind against him without me even realizing it, and all it does is make him thrust his fingers into me harder.

My orgasm peeks, and I swear it goes on forever. Either that or I had multiple bouts of orgasms back to back. I have to scream for him to stop when my body can no longer take the convulsing it causes.

Looking to at Leon, I attempt to smile, but suddenly I feel weak. He brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks off the juice. "Incredible," he whispers. In an instant I want more of him.

Picking my discarded clothing from the floor, Leon starts to slip them on over my legs. I look at him curiously. "Why are you dressing me?"

"It's time for dinner."

"What? That is all you brought me in here for?"

He pauses with my shorts almost into place. "Was that not... good?"

"It was fucking amazing," I practically cry out. I have zero complaints whatsoever, in fact, it'll take a lifetime for me to try to feel that kind of pleasure again. "I just meant... I thought we... were going to... you know." Suddenly I feel shy again.

"Fuck?"

"Yeah." I nod, looking away.

"First off, if we're going to fuck, you're going to have to talk about it without looking away." He snaps my shorts into place. Helping me up to sit with him, he runs his hand over my thigh. "Secondly, you need to eat."

I pout but don't argue. When we stand to walk out, he kisses my pouty lip, not saying another word. Slipping his fingers through mine, we actually get to hold hands to the dining room, even though it's practically across the hallway. Leon walks me to my seat, pulling it out until I sit, then glides it forward. We're served a salad for appetizer, with lobster imported from Maine as the entree, which includes a side of shrimp and scallops. I feel as though I'm living through a fairy tale, despite Leon's disagreement to the proclamation. The food fills me up to the point I'm unsure if I can move afterward. I make sure to inform him of how delicious it is... at least fifteen times.

When we're finished with dinner, Leon escorts me to one of the spare cabins, which we hadn't seen inside before. When we walk in it reveals several dresses all hung with care, and a few bags placed on the floor off to the side. "I didn't want to tell you what we were doing, so I hired someone to pick out some clothes for you." He picks up one of the bags and peeks inside, sets it on the ground for the other bag. "That bag will be for later, this bag is for right now. Then if you could put on one of the dresses over this everything can go according to plan."

My heart races, warming me all over. Leon leaves the room, taking the extra bag with him so I can't even peek inside. I pull out what is in this bag, and it's a tiny black and pink bikini. I stare at it for a minute, unsure if I want to wear it in front of Leon. He's trying for something sexy and I have this round belly in the front of me. He might get turned off from it.

Lifting my shirt off, I toss it to the ground to look in the mirror at my stomach. It's even expanded more since we ate, and although it's still somewhat tiny since I'm just shy of three months, it still bothers me to attempt looking sexy with it.

I have to give myself a pep talk. I have to convince myself that if Leon didn't want to see me in this, he wouldn't have had someone buy it for me. So despite my negative thoughts, I undress and slide into the tiny two piece, which fits me almost perfect. The bottoms are a little snug, but overall I like how it fits. I look myself over in the mirror once more, and man do my boobs really pop. He'll probably be far more focused on that aspect than of my stomach- at least I hope.

Running my fingers over the fabric of the different dresses, each one a type of summer dress but none of them are the same. I find my favorite and pull it off the hanger, trying not to pay attention to the price on the tag which is still attached. Pulling it into place, I zip the side up to my armpit and eye the white laced summer dress with yellow silk peeking through underneath. It fits like a glove, but I enjoy how it makes me look. I sway back and forth in the mirror to watch how it moves on me, and what I notice the most is the vast smile on my face.