Hand of Thorns (11 page)

Tilting his head to the side, entertained by something, he says, "Spud." And that is when my stomach decides to do a flip. "Going to keep my secret?" I see the dare in his eyes. Although, I think he is being playful, I can still sense that he doesn't want me to rat him out.

Which I don't plan on doing anyways. "Of course. Any secret you share with me will stay safe."

"And your secrets are safe with me."

When he says things like that, or continues to look at me with a heartwarming smile, it makes it near impossible to forget everything I'm supposed to.

Our food arrives and it’s absolutely delicious. I savor each bite and consume far too much, but as I've noticed recently, I'll be hungry again in an hour. In the meantime, I lean back in the chair, rubbing my hand against my swollen stomach. Glancing up from staring at my stomach, I catch the fear in Leon's eyes before he looks away, putting his hand in the air to catch our waiter’s attention.

I understand his look all too well. There are many things I'm scared of. Mainly, I keep wondering to myself if I made the right choice. Since receiving my first paycheck, I currently have enough to pay the car insurance, help mom with the mortgage, get us groceries, and still have some spending money, so for those reasons I believe I made the right choice. I also know when I see Ellie and Leon holding their precious newborn baby, I'll know with complete certainty I made the right choice. But there are those moments, such as Sumner's disapproval and my Mom's hatred that has me questioning why I went about things the way I did. I messed a lot of things up, but I'm hoping with all my heart and soul in the end, everything will be worth it.

While waiting for the waiter to cash us out, Leon picks up his phone once more, shaking his head at something he reads on his screen. I decide to take the opportunity to use the restroom. "Excuse me," I tell Leon. Placing down my napkin on my plate, I stand up, pulling the hem of my shirt in place.

"You okay?" he asks, looking up at me.

"Yeah, just going to use the restroom."

"Okay, I'll be here waiting."

Bashfully I walk away, heading towards the back of the restaurant where the bathrooms are. After using the facilities, I look into the mirror while washing my hands. I have to do a double take. I almost don't recognize myself. When Mom said I looked sun kissed, she meant it. My face is glowing, and my cheeks rosy without the help of blush. Although one side still showing signs of Mom’s mark. It appears I have a permanent smile on my face as well, which I didn't realize at all. Watching my reflection, I try to stop myself from grinning, but each time I contour my face to look normal, it's as if it naturally slides back into a smile.

I can't tell if it's due to my pregnancy... or Leon.

Either way, it feels good to be this happy, even if I'm unbeknownst to the reason behind it. It does look good on me.

Walking from the restroom, I instantly pause. Dustin stands before me, his arms crossed in front of his chest, and a cocky smile that isn't nearly as attractive as I used to think painted upon his face. "Wow. Monica. I almost didn't recognize you, you look... great."

"Hey, Dustin." It almost comes out sounding like a question. Mainly because I'm dubious as to why I bumped into him here of all places. "What are you doing here?"

"Having dinner," he states with a laugh. "As I'm sure most everyone in here is doing. You here with your family?"

I want to roll my eyes. Of course he would assume my family, because I guarantee he thinks I'm still stuck on him. "No, a friend actually."

"Sumner? Where is she?" He turns to look as I tell him no, but we're both frozen in place with Leon standing there, almost pushing into Dustin with the way his arms are folded against his chest.

Leon glares at Dustin with a fierceness I haven't yet seen. An intimidating look that is also downright sexy. "Who are you?" he asks.

Biting down on my cheek nervously, I debate if I want to interrupt or watch this unfold. I've never had anyone become protective over me the way Leon currently is. The fact it's to the guy who broke my heart in an unbelievable way last year makes it all the better, so I stop myself from making introductions.

"Dustin, who uh... who are you?"

Leon cocks an eyebrow. "Leon Owens. Not what I was asking though. Why are you talking to my girl?"

My girl? Did he just say that? Out loud? To... Dustin?

I'd probably faint if I wasn't so enthralled by everything. I've never been a damsel in distress. I can hopelessly admit, I absolutely love it.

"Your girl? Oh, I... I didn't know Monica was taken. She didn't say anything to me." Dustin is nervous, he is easily intimidated as is, then you add in someone towering over you, looking at you the way Leon is staring at him, and you know without a doubt he is seconds away from pissing himself. "I'm sorry. I was just saying hey. We're old friends."

Leon doesn't move anything except his eyes, to look straight into mine. "You know this punk?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah, he's someone I knew in high school." Somehow calling him my ex-boyfriend doesn't seem justifiable. I still have hatred towards him, maybe even a little bit of love, but only because he was the first and only relationship out of elementary school I've had.

"I think we were a little more than acquaintances," Dustin mocks. "Or a lot more."

The testosterone spreads as Dustin grows cocky. Rather than saying anything to Dustin, Leon reaches forward to lace his fingers with mine, giving me a small tug to be by his side. "Come on beautiful, we have more plans for the night."

I peek over my shoulder as we walk away. Dustin gawks at us for all of a second before his jaw starts to tick. I look up to Leon, shocked at everything that just unfolded a second ago. "What was that about?"

He doesn't say anything, in fact, he kind of looks upset as he continues through the restaurant. My hand still intact.

When we get outside into the fresh cooling air, I pull my hand from his. "Can you talk with me?" I ask.

He stops but doesn't turn to face me. "Let's get you back to the hotel."

"Can you look at me?"

I watch as his shoulders lift then fall as he takes an inhale of breath. "You should get back. You need your rest. You've had an eventful day."

"Leon?"

He starts towards the car once more, and when I realize he isn't giving in, I rush after him. Maybe the dominance of Leon isn't so wonderful after all, because I don't do well with tantrums. He doesn't say anything while getting in the car, and the ride back is silent again, except this time it's extremely uncomfortable.

As he pulls up in front of the hotel, I realize he is dropping me off and leaving. I don't have a car here, and quite frankly, I don't want to be left here pondering over even more confusion. Twisting my body to face Leon, I look him over, but he doesn't look back at me. His hands are gripping onto the steering wheel to the point I wouldn't be surprised to see him break it.

"Why are you acting like such an asshole?" I ask, feeling guilty for calling him that right after I say it. He has treated me like a princess up until this point, it really was uncalled for on my part for insulting him that way. Anger will do that to a person though.

He finally looks at me but I almost wish he wouldn't. His normally gorgeous eyes are hard and cold. "You think I'm being an asshole?" he scoffs. "Why? Because I
didn't
knock that dudes teeth in?"

"What did he even do to you?"

"Who was he?"

"His name is Dustin," I tell him. "I went to high school with him. He was only saying hi." I don't even know why I'm defending Dustin, but at this rate, I don't understand anything happening here.

He laughs bitterly. "Yeah, so you said."

"What is your problem?" My voice rises. Not that I'm yelling, but I'm increasingly becoming more pissed off. This doesn't make sense.

"Nothing. You need to go. You should really get some sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Monica, I'm going to tell you again, and this time you need to listen. Get out of my car. Go get some sleep."

I stare for a few minutes, waiting for him to burst into laughter and tell me this is all a joke- but he doesn't. He doesn't give me an inch. So I open the door slowly, giving him one last chance, and when nothing changes between us I step out of the car. Peeking down in at him, I have to give him the last word, being as that is the kind of person I am. "You think I'm going to sleep now? I came here to relax and for no damn reason you started this bullshit between us. Thanks."

Slamming the door I make my way into the hotel, bypassing the door greeter without a smile or a thanks. When I get up into my room, I slam the door there too, mainly to get some aggression out. My bag sits on my bed, so I open it up to grab a pair of pajama shorts. I change out the jeans I'm wearing, so I can at least be comfortable while I sit here and sulk in self-misery. I chuck the bag towards the wall and let out a small, frustrated scream.

I crawl into bed, ignoring the buzzing of my cellphone in my jeans pocket on the floor. I don't care who it is right now, because it seems apparent I don't really have anyone in my life any more. It starts to buzz again, so I reach over for the TV remote, turning it on to hopefully occupy my mind for a while.

Closing my eyes, I focus on the sound of the television. It's an old episode of my favorite show, and I can picture in my head what is happening on the screen. It helps me breathe, it helps me seek comfort within this bed, and slowly but surely I relax my shoulders along with all the tension in my body.

I'm startled when a loud pounding bangs against the door. I pull the comforter up to my chin and peek over, like somehow it's protecting me against whoever is slamming their fists against it. Since only one person knows I'm here, I shouldn't fear the fact someone is knocking, but I do- because I don't want my heart to feel any more heartache than it already has tonight.

The door suddenly swings opens without me getting out of bed. Leon stands there crowding the doorway. My entire body starts to heat up from trepidation. "How did you get in?"

"I paid for the room." He flashes me a key card before he slides it into his pocket.

I swallow audibly, unable to say anything more. I want to ask why he is here, but I'm scared of the answer.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. He runs his hand through his dismantled hair, gripping the ends with his fingers. He lets out a rough breath of air. "I'm sorry, Monica. I didn't mean to treat you that way."

I sit up in bed, still holding the comforter to me. My heart remains pounding hard in my chest, the blood in my veins scorching hot, but I attempt not to give him any signs of that. "Then why did you?"

"I shouldn't be here." Going against his words, he takes a few steps closer to me. The door latching shut behind as he no longer is standing in front of it.

"Then why are you?" I'm waiting for answers... any answer.

"Because for some God forsaken reason..." he pauses his words, stepping closer to me. I'm unable to speak this time. I'm fairly certain I'm unable to breath. The air between us thickens and it's getting harder to focus. Somehow his presence is cutting off my air supply. "For some fucking reason, Monica..." He steps forward once more, his body less than a foot from me. He shakes his head slowly, watching me like a hawk. Everything else around us blurs from existence.

When he still doesn't say anything more, I finally whimper, "What?"

He swallows hard. I watch as his throat moves. I notice everything about him. The way his fists clench then unclench, the way his nostrils flare while he tries to fight against whatever it is he needs to tell me, the way his jaw rocks as he grinds his teeth, and the way he looks at me like he's about to attack me in the absolute best way imaginable.

"For some reason, I got extremely fucking jealous." He words come out calm, despite everything that happened in the moments before this. He closes in on me, leaning down to press his lips against mine. The force he has with his mouth only adds to the spark I feel when our mouths collide. I'm taken to another place, a place where there are no consequences to my actions. I pull his body closer to mine, and he willingly follows through.

His body slides over me, holding me beneath him. His hand runs along my body until it reaches my face, the same spot where Mom scolded me earlier. He touches me tenderly, soft like a rose, while his mouth moves against mine. If I hadn't fallen for him before, I'm certainly falling for him now.

My leg reaches around, bringing him closer to me. His body grinds into mine for a few seconds, while he furthers our kiss. I didn't know I could love making out with someone so much, but the intensity is unlike anything I've ever known before.

Then it all ends far too soon.

Leon pulls from me, his body sitting at the end of the bed while he brushes his hands against his face frustratingly.

I know what we did was a mistake. More than that, I know Leon is regretting his actions. I can tell by the way he refuses to look over at me, while I sit up, panting breathlessly from the kiss.

After a few minutes of staring at the man who refuses to look in my direction, I say, "I'm sorry."