Give Me a Reason (3 page)

“Just like that?”

“It was quite remarkable, actually,” John said, his eyes
creasing at the corners. “This reclusive creature, who moments before could
barely utter two words, had changed into this brilliant educator. Sitting on
the edge of a desk, motioning with her hands, she was so passionate about the
discussion they were having, and within a few minutes, I knew I had found my
teacher.”

“So, I’m guessing she’s still reclusive?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. She doesn’t associate with any of us,
and her classes start and finish earlier than all the others.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”

“In the classroom, Toni’s comfortable and confident, at least
with her students. However, among the teachers and especially strangers, she
simply can’t handle it. Therefore, I arranged for certain liberties when it
comes to Toni. By allowing her classes to start earlier and end sooner, she can
come and go when the halls are nearly empty. It seemed a small price to pay to
have someone like her on our staff.”

“Are there any other liberties that I should know about?”

“I’m the only one she allows to monitor her class.”

“What?” Laura said, leaning forward in her chair. “John, as
head of the department—”

“I know what you’re going to say, Laura, and you’re right,
but Toni is a tremendous teacher, and I don’t want to lose her.”

“And you think she’ll quit if I try to do my job?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but the woman is frightened of her
own shadow, and I don’t want to inflict any more harm on her. I have to ask you
to take it very,
very
slowly where Toni is
concerned. I promise that I’ll arrange for you two to meet soon, but as for you
doing your job, as you put it, that will take a bit of time, I’m afraid.”

“What about the monthly reports?”

“For the time being, I’ll continue to monitor her classes,
just like I’ve been doing.”

“If she’s this scared, why does she trust you?”

“I have no idea.”

***

On Friday, John Canfield came to work an hour earlier than
scheduled and headed to the second floor. Lightly tapping on the doorframe
before entering, he smiled at Toni when she looked up from her desk, and a tiny
grin of acknowledgement crossed her face.

“Good morning, Toni.”

“Hi, John,” she said quietly, glancing down at the papers in
front of her.

“I’m sure you’ve heard by now that we have a new department
head.”

Nodding in reply, Toni rearranged some papers and then picked
up her coffee cup, her hand trembling slightly as she lifted it to her lips.

“She wants to meet you.”

Once again, she nodded an acknowledgment, but said nothing.

“I thought I’d bring her up next week some time, so that
could happen.”

In a whisper that was barely audible, Toni said, “I suppose I
don’t have a choice.”

His heart heavy with sadness for the broken woman, John
walked over and knelt by her desk. “Toni, you know if I didn’t need to do this,
I wouldn’t. She’s a nice woman with lots of good ideas. Just give her a chance.
Okay?”

Toni slowly raised her eyes and stared blankly at the man
next to her. “Sure...like I said, I don’t have a choice.”

***

Krista Nielson parked her car and glanced out the window at
the rundown apartment building in front of her. It was just another Friday in a
long line of Fridays, and tonight would be no different than it had been for
the past two years. She had visited the local supermarket and picked up the
usual things, just enough to last a week, nothing more and nothing less. Going
against the rules, she had also tossed in two new items, but they were small,
and Kris hoped they would go unnoticed until she left the flat.

She knew the rest of her short time here would be the same as
the groceries, repetitive and limited. With her best friend’s identity all but
erased by prison walls and corporal punishment, their conversation would be
cordial yet stilted. It pained her to see Toni this way, but unlike all the
others who had walked away from the cold, empty woman who lived three floors
up, Krista could not. Until her dying day, she would never give up on the woman
who had saved her life.

Filling her arms with bags, Kris walked into the building and
climbed the three flights of stairs, wishing that once she arrived at 3-D, she
could playfully joke about the tiresome ascent, but she didn’t dare. She knew
she couldn’t cross that line because it would give Toni a chance to send her
away. Along with everything else, Toni’s sense of humor had disappeared.

Arriving at Toni’s door, she tapped on it with her foot, and
seconds later it was opened by her tall, dark-haired friend, dressed as she
always was, in clothes that were worn, faded and two sizes too large. Stepping
aside, Toni allowed Krista to enter.

“Hi, Toni,” Kris said, leaning over to kiss the woman on the
cheek, and even though Toni backed away, Kris followed until her lips softly
grazed Toni’s face. “How you doing?”

“I’m okay,” she said, her voice still as dull and lifeless as
it had been since the day Krista drove her away from the holding facility.

As Toni aimlessly headed back to the lounge, Kris went to the
kitchen to put away the groceries. Emptying her meager purchases into the
cupboard, she quickly stashed the new items behind the old and opened the
refrigerator. Noticing that it only contained beer, water and one bottle of
vodka, she called out, “Did you eat tonight?”

Not hearing a response, Kris checked to make sure there was
more beer in the crate on the floor and then walked into the lounge to check on
Toni. Finding her sitting on the sofa, looking through a stack of papers, Kris
repeated, “Toni, did you eat tonight.”

“I had a sandwich delivered,” Toni said, without looking up.

Aware that the woman could easily go without food for more
than just one day, Kris glanced at the door. There were three restaurants in
the area that delivered and long ago, Kris had made arrangements with all of
them. Explaining that her friend was a shut-in, she instructed them to knock
four times and Toni would slide a brown envelope containing payment under the
door. Once they received their money, the food was left in the hallway, and Toni
would retrieve it, but only after she watched from her window to make sure they
had left. Noticing the money envelope, along with a take-away menu sitting near
the door, Kris breathed easier. At least she was eating.

“I checked the beer. You have about a dozen bottles left so
I’ll bring you over a new crate early next week. Okay?”

“I only drink one a night. You don’t have to make a special
trip.”

“I don’t mind,” Kris said, sitting on the arm of the sofa.
“Toni, I was thinking...maybe we could go out and see about getting you some
new clothes.”

“I don’t need anything new. These are fine.”

“Well, they are getting a bit worn, don’t you think?”

Raising her eyes to glare at the woman, Toni said, “I don’t
need
anything new, Krista. We’ve gone through this
before.”

The room went silent, and chewing on her lip for a moment,
Kris said, “Hey, I have an idea. Antonio’s is right down the street. How about
I order a pizza, and we have dinner together. Like old times. I’ll even buy a
bottle of wine. How’s that?”

“I told you, I already had a sandwich.”

“Oh, right,” Kris said. Noticing the pile of papers on the
coffee table, she said, “It looks like you have a busy weekend planned.”

“Yeah. I have essays from two classes to grade. I need to
hand them back on Monday.”

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Kris tried to think of
something else to say. Years before, they could spend hours talking about a
recent bestseller, a new shop or people making headlines, but that was no
longer the case. The books scattered around were old and used, and although
popular in their day, Krista hadn’t read any of them in years. Toni refused to
have a television or radio in the apartment, and whenever Krista brought over a
magazine or a newspaper, it left when she did. The world held no interest for
Toni any longer, and she showed no curiosity over technology or the latest
novel to hit the stands. The classics were safe, providing a warm cocoon where
she could hide amongst the words she had read a hundred times before, allowing
her to forget, if only for a moment, the ugliness that lay beyond the door to
her flat.

Knowing that their limited conversation had come to an end,
Kris reached out and touched Toni’s sleeve, the simple action causing the woman
to jerk away. Refusing to allow her sadness to show, Kris said softly, “I know
I say this every week, but if you ever need anything, if you ever just want to
talk…I’m here for you.”

“I know you are,” Toni whispered.

Looking into Toni’s dark brown eyes, Krista felt her emotions
begin to rise to the surface, remembering a time when those eyes, now dismal
and empty, once sparkled with life, love and mischief.

“I love you, Toni,” Kris said as she walked to the door,
needing to leave before she broke down like she always did. “Please call me if
you need anything…anything at all.”

A few moments later, Toni murmured, “See ya, Krista.”

She hadn’t noticed that her friend had already left.

***

With Duane out of town visiting his parents, Laura spent most
of the weekend going through paperwork and getting a grasp on the monthly
reports, so by the time she returned to work on Monday, she was raring to go.
Even though there seemed to be a mountain of forms and requirements to adhere
to, she quickly came up with a schedule that would allow her ample time every month
to monitor the teachers, submit her reports and bring a few of her own ideas to
Calloway House.

On Wednesday morning, as Laura sat in her office drinking her
third cup of coffee, John appeared in the doorway. “Good morning.”

“Hiya, John.”

“Do you have a few minutes?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Laura said, putting aside her paperwork.

“I thought it was time that you meet Toni.”

Instantly grinning, Laura popped out of her chair, and
quickly followed John out of the room and up the stairs.

Pausing once they got to Toni’s classroom, John said, “Laura,
don’t expect too much, all right? I mean, I doubt that she’ll say more than a
few words, if that.”

Laura was nervous, and she didn’t know why. The woman she was
about to meet technically worked for her, so taking a deep breath, she
straightened her suit jacket. “I understand, John. It’ll be fine.”

“Good.”

Hearing the hushed voices in the hallway, Toni recognized one
as John Canfield’s and immediately knew that she was about to meet the new head
of her department. Sighing, she took a few deep breaths to steady her nerves.
She hated this...this requirement of life that she couldn’t avoid. Meeting
people, strangers until they weren’t, but they were all strangers to her. She
didn’t trust them. She couldn’t trust them. They would hurt her. Maybe not with
a fist or a foot or a belt, but somehow, in some way, they would hurt her.

Entering the room, Laura saw her sitting at the desk, and
while most people would have looked up to acknowledge their visitors, Toni
Vaughn did not. Several moments passed and Laura began to feel awkward, unsure
as to why John hadn’t said anything and the woman behind the desk hadn’t moved
an inch. Biting her lip, Laura began to take another step forward when John
reached out and touched her arm. Shaking his head, he whispered, “Wait.”

Another minute passed before Laura heard the screech of the
wooden chair across the tile floor, and she watched as the apprehensive woman
stood and took a few hesitant steps toward them.

Since their discussion the week before, Laura had built an
image of this woman in her mind. She believed that Toni Vaughn would appear
hard and much older than her age, downtrodden by her time in prison and the
brutalities inflicted upon her, but Laura couldn’t have been more wrong.

Appearing to be nearly six feet in height, with short black
hair that had a style all its own, Toni Vaughn was an attractive woman.
Although gaunt, her features were striking and natural. Her jaw was strong and
her nose narrow, and while dark circles appeared under her eyes, they couldn’t
offset the whole. Even though John had explained that the years behind bars had
taken their toll on her psyche, as far as Laura could tell, they had done
little to affect Antoinette Vaughn’s beauty.

“Toni, I’d like to introduce you to our new Education
Administrator, Laura MacLeod.”

Laura watched as the woman dipped her head a millimeter, but
continued to stare at the floor.

“Laura, this is Toni Vaughn, one of our most popular
teachers.”

Extending her hand, Laura smiled. “Nice to meet you, Toni.”

Taking a quick step backward, Toni shoved her hands in her
pockets. Refusing to look in Laura’s direction, instead she raised her eyes to
glare at John. Abruptly turning her back on both of them, she walked to the
window and stared out the glass, desperately trying to hold it together. They
needed to leave. They needed to leave
now
.

With a frown, John motioned toward the corridor, and they
left the room without saying a word. As soon as John closed the door to Toni’s
classroom, Laura asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But I
did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I forgot to tell you. Toni doesn’t like to be touched.”

Chapter Three

Four weeks later, Laura MacLeod couldn’t have been happier
about her decision to work at Calloway House. Except for those taught by Toni
Vaughn, she had managed to monitor every class and found herself duly impressed
by the patience, intelligence and fortitude of her staff.

Seeing Susan Grant heading outside for a smoke, Laura grabbed
her coat and followed her out the rear exit of the building.

“Hard day?” Laura asked as she sat down next to Susan on the
step.

Chuckling softly, Susan said, “I’ve got one woman who can’t
grasp addition sitting next to another who could do calculus in her sleep. You
tell me.”

Laura knew all too well that while all the residents at
Calloway had spent time in prison, that’s where their similarities ended. A
melting pot of ethnic backgrounds, incomes, educations, religions and mental
aptitudes, they presented the teaching staff with a smorgasbord of challenges.

“Sounds difficult,” Laura said.

“You think?”

“What can I do?”

“Oh, Laura, there’s nothing you can do. There aren’t enough
hours in the day to have classes for each level, at least not until John can
scrounge up enough funding to hire a few more teachers. Until then, we just
have to muddle through.”

“And make sure
you
don’t run
out of cigarettes,” Laura said, watching as Susan lit her second.

“Yeah, that too,” Susan said with a laugh. “So, how about
you? How are you doing?”

“Well, the paperwork was a little overwhelming at first, but
I’m getting the hang of it.”

“I heard that John introduced you to Toni,” Susan said,
taking another drag of her smoke.

“Yeah, last month.”

“What do you think of her?”

Tilting her head, Laura asked, “Are you asking me about her
teaching abilities or about
her
?”

“If you ask any of one of those women inside as to whom their
favorite teacher is, Toni would win hands down. We all know that. I’m talking
about the woman,
not
the teacher.”

Thinking for a moment, Laura shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t
know what to say. When we met, she didn’t say a word, and then I tried to shake
her hand—”

“Didn’t John tell you that she doesn’t—”

“He forgot.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Laura said with a sigh.

“You know, every time I see her, she just seems so lost, so
hurt. It’s almost painful—”

“Wait,” Laura said. “I’ve been here over five weeks and the
only time I’ve seen her was when I was in her classroom.”

Holding up her pack of smokes, Susan said, “I occasionally
bump into her out here.”

“Does she talk to you?”

“No,” Susan said, shaking her head. “On second thought,
there’ve been a few hellos over the past two years, but nothing more than that.
Honestly, Laura, I think she’s terrified of everything and everyone.
Absolutely, positively terrified.”

“Bastards,” Laura said under her breath.

“You got that right.”

“You know about...about what happened to her?”

“Given her background, John wasn’t sure about her...um...her
stability
, so he pulled us all aside one day and
told us about what she had gone through. Of course, he didn’t go into details,
and seeing the way she is, I honestly don’t think I wanted to hear any.”

“She just seems so fragile,” Laura said.

“At first, I tried to help her,” Susan said, taking a drag of
her cigarette. “I mean, she must have been put through hell to end up like
that, and I thought the least I could do was to try to become her friend. So,
I’d stop by her classroom to chat, and I even invited her to the pub a few
times, but she always refused, and eventually I stopped trying. There are a lot
of wounded people in this world, including many of our students, so I decided
to stop trying to help someone who obviously didn’t want my help, and moved on
to others who did.”

Hearing the bell signaling the start of the last class of the
day, they both walked back inside. Going their separate ways, Susan climbed the
stairs and Laura headed to her office, but when she saw John at the end of the
hall, she called out to get his attention. Jogging down the corridor to catch
up to her long-legged boss, she said, “I just wanted to remind you that I’m
going to need those reports for Toni Vaughn’s classes. They’re due next week.”

“Which ones do I owe you?”

“Remedial reading and the university-level creative writing
course.”

Quickly stepping into his office, he returned with a file.
“This is the one for the writing course, and I’ll get you the other one early
next week. Will that work?”

“Absolutely,” she said, taking the file. “Have a good
weekend.”

“You, too.”

Returning to her office, Laura glanced at her watch and then
at her desk. Grinning, she gathered her belongings, filled her attaché with
work she could do from home, shut off the light and left. For the first time in
weeks, she would get home before the sun went down.

***

Irene looked up when she heard the sound of heels tapping
down the hallway. As Laura came into view, dismissing the usual morning
greetings, Irene said, “Silly man should have known better than to try to trim
the tree himself.”

“I think that falls under the heading of hindsight,” Laura
said, glancing at the mail piled on Irene’s desk. “I hope you know I’m going to
be depending on you a lot in the coming weeks.”

“Of course. I’ll do whatever I can. Have you come up with a
plan of attack?”

“Well, I’ll need to see his calendar, and then we can start
rearranging some appointments.”

“I know which ones are the most important, so let me get his
diary, and I’ll make some notes. That way, we’ll know who to cancel and who to
coddle,” Irene said with a smirk, knowing all too well the politics that went
along with funding.

“Good idea,” Laura said, heading to her office. “I’ll check
my schedule and start making calls.”

Two days earlier, while enjoying a quiet Saturday night with
Duane, Laura received a phone call from Constance Canfield telling her that
John, whilst trying to trim a tree, had fallen from the ladder and broken his
leg. His prognosis was good, but until the hip-to-toe cast was removed,
returning to work was impossible. After visiting John in the hospital and being
told she was now in charge, Laura spent the rest of the weekend making notes,
checking her schedule and calling her staff to inform them of John’s accident,
leaving Duane to fend for himself. He was
not
happy.

With Irene’s help, before she left work Monday evening, Laura
knew what the rest of the week would bring, and it wasn’t good. Having already
cancelled all the appointments she felt were inconsequential, when she looked
at what was left, Laura sighed. It was going to be a very, very long week.

***

Four days later, Laura looked at the reports piled on her
desk, and debated only for an instant before stuffing them into her briefcase
and grabbing her jacket. Having spent the whole week coming in early and
staying late, she was finally making a dent in the combined workload. Sorting
out John’s share of the monthly reports had taken her the entire day, and even
though there was still more to be done, as far as Laura was concerned, it could
be done at home. The idea of having her tired feet propped on a pillow with a
glass of wine at the ready as she shuffled through the rest of her paperwork
sounded heavenly.

Getting into her car, she turned the radio off as she pulled
out of the car park, enjoying the silence and the sound of the tires on the
road, and by the time her house came into view, she was relaxed and looking
forward to a quiet night. Pulling into her drive, she noticed Duane’s car
parked on the street and her shoulders fell. Momentarily regretting that she
had ever given him a key, she pushed away her annoyance and gathered her
things. Climbing out of the car, Laura schlepped up the walk and into the
house.

Duane was coming off a very bad week. As a matter of fact, it
was the fourth in a row. As a car salesman at a high-end dealership in London,
he normally could hold his own, selling more than his fair share of shiny
imports without blinking an eye, but the tide had turned, and he was stuck in
the undertow.

Like most commissioned salespeople, he took the first week in
stride. Customers come, customers go, and customers change their minds—that’s
life, so he sat back as others sold vehicles and smiled politely. He knew
things would change soon enough. He knew his time would come, or at least
that’s what he thought.

Another week passed and then another, and with no sales to
his name, when his manager asked Duane to cover while another salesperson was
on holiday, Duane leapt at the chance. Knowing Laura would be working extra
hours in John’s absence, he walked into the dealership on Monday morning with
his head held high, confident that he would sell a car. Unfortunately, Mother
Nature had other plans. With an entire week of rain washing away any
possibility of selling an automobile, Duane spent the last four days in a
desolate car showroom, doing only one thing...looking forward to Friday night.

Hearing the front door open, Duane bounded down the stairs.
“How long will it take you to get ready?”

“What are you talking about?” Laura said, tossing her things
on a chair.

“We’re meeting Seth and Julie at the pub.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you would have called me first.”

“I texted you hours ago.”

Furrowing her brow, Laura pulled her mobile out of her
handbag. “Shit. I turned it off. I had meetings all day.”

“Well, no worries. Just get changed and we’ll head on over.
I’ve had a hell of a week, and I need to unwind.”

“Duane, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have work to do. Go without
me.”

“This is
really
becoming
annoying. Do you know that?”

“Sweetheart, please don’t start,” she said as her head began
to pound. “You know John’s out with a broken leg, and we have four new women
coming in on Monday. I have to get the job notices sorted and their class
schedules—”

“And
I
want to go out with
you
and meet some of
our
friends for a drink!”

When Laura was a child, her hair was the color of a dark
chili pepper, and her temper was just as spicy; however, as she grew older, the
deep red gradually faded to a medium auburn. Unfortunately for Duane, that was
the only thing that had faded.

“What the hell is your problem?” she shouted. “From the
minute I took this job, all you’ve done is bitch and whine about it, and
frankly, Duane, I’m tired of hearing it.”

“I hate your bloody job!”

“Well, I don’t care, because I love it!” Laura said, placing
her hands on her hips.

“I have no idea why you continue to waste your time trying to
help criminals,” he said, walking away.

“What did you say?”

Spinning around, he said, “You heard me. Seriously, Laura,
those women aren’t going to make a difference in this world, so why the
hell
are you wasting your time?”

“Good point,” Laura said, quickly turning on her heel and
stomping into the lounge. Picking up his jacket, she searched through the
pockets until she found his keys. Removing one, she placed the rest back in the
pocket and calmly walked over and held out the coat. “Take it and get out.”

“Laura—”

“I said get out, Duane, because you’re absolutely right. I am
wasting my time, and I have no intention of wasting any more of it. Now please
leave.”

For a few seconds, he tried to stare her down, but when Laura
didn’t even blink an eye, he snatched the jacket from her hands and stormed out
of the house.

A short time later, after a long bath and healthy dose of
Pinot Noir, Laura padded down the stairs wearing her favorite flannel pajamas
and a grin. Making herself a sandwich, she refilled her glass and sauntered to
the lounge where she plopped on the sofa and opened her briefcase. Diving into
her work, two hours later, she poured herself another glass of wine to celebrate
her progress. Picking up the list she had made, Laura merrily began to check
off item after item, but when she read the last notation, her heart sank.

“Shit,” she moaned, reading the note again. “Shit. Shit.
Shit. Shit.
Shit
!”

***

Under the misconception that the names given to coffee
actually meant something, Laura was half-tempted to turn her car around and
return what was left of her Fog Lifter to her local coffee shop. Since
discovering which report had yet to be completed, sleep had eluded Laura the
entire weekend. With her thoughts solely on Toni Vaughn and how the troubled
teacher was going to react to the news, even with the help of alcohol, Laura
had spent two nights tossing and turning, trying to think of a way out. The
last thing she wanted to do was to intrude upon the fragile existence of the
woman, but the monthly class reports were mandatory. Laura didn’t have a
choice.

Still in the shadows of Monday’s dawn, Laura pulled into her
parking space at Calloway. The lot was empty except for a rundown Jeep, dented
and scratched. Parked where it always was, nearest the rear exit of the school,
it could have been easily mistaken for an abandoned vehicle, if it wasn’t for
the parking permit affixed to its windscreen.

Barely acknowledging the night watchman as she walked into
the building, Laura dropped her things in her office and then slowly climbed
the stairs. The classrooms were dark save for one, and the only sound she could
hear was the hum of the fluorescent fixtures dangling from chains above her
head. Silently, she walked to the classroom, and pausing in the open doorway to
gather her thoughts, Laura gazed at the teacher who was not yet aware that she
wasn’t alone.