Give Me a Reason (9 page)

A few seconds later, Toni peeked out again. “Look, it’s
really nothing. It’s just something Laura said.”

“Oh yeah? What?”

“Well, she thought, I mean, she
suggested
that I could pay her back for helping me…by taking her out to dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, and if I did, not that I would, mind you, but
if
I did, I’d need something nice to wear.”

“Are you thinking about it?”

“What’s to think about, Krista? You and I both know it’s
impossible.”

“You’re managing to get through today, aren’t you?”

“Sure, but I’m with you, and I trust you. You know how I am.”

“And she doesn’t?”

“Well, no, I’m sure she does, but you and I have a history
together. If I freak out around you—”

“It’s not as embarrassing as doing it in front of a
stranger.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t know about you, but if someone came to my flat in
the middle of the night to patch me up, I don’t think I’d consider them a
stranger.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Toni, Laura seems really nice. If she’s the one that
suggested dinner, and she already knows how uncomfortable you are around
people, it sounds to me like she’s willing to take a chance. From where I’m
standing, I think that makes her a friend. Don’t you?”

Kris was right, and Toni knew it. Somewhere over the past
weeks, Laura MacLeod had crossed the line between stranger and friend. Even
though Toni still tensed when Laura walked into her classroom, and even though
her palms would sweat and her heart would race, in the inner depths of her
soul, Toni knew that Laura was no longer a stranger. Thinking for a moment,
Toni said, “Kris, I don’t know what to do.”

“I do. Stay right there,” Kris said as she disappeared back
into the store. A few minutes later, she returned with a pair of leather
trousers, two silk blouses and a rather large grin.

“What’s this?” Toni asked, looking at the shimmering red and
blue shirts.

“There’s no harm in being prepared, is there?” Kris said as
she handed the clothes to Toni. “And you can’t very well wear cotton Oxfords
with leather, Toni. It’s tacky. Now go try these on.” The changing room door
had barely latched when Kris added, “And I want to see them!”

Chapter Eight

By the middle of the next week, Toni was a bundle of nervous
energy. Her daily routine hadn’t changed, but her mind was occupied with
thoughts of venturing outside of her safety zone, and it was turning her head
around. And if that wasn’t enough, she had worn some of her new clothes to
work, and all day long she had been receiving whistles and high-fives from her
students.

Glancing at the clock, she gathered her belongings, took a
deep breath and hesitantly went downstairs to Laura’s office. It was a short
walk, taking less than a minute, but by the time she stood outside the door,
all of her courage had disappeared. She was about to turn and run when the door
opened, and Laura stepped out.

“Toni, what a pleasant surprise!” Laura said.

As nice as it was to see Toni standing just outside her door,
Laura couldn’t contain her smile when she noticed Toni’s new clothes. The
blouse was still the woman’s standard Oxford style, but this one was bright
white, crisp and fitted, the side darts pulling the shirt tight against her
skin. The gray tweed trousers were low on her hips, held in place by a narrow
black belt, and her black boots were polished and new, with heels that pushed
Toni slightly over six feet in height.

Nervously, Toni stared at the floor. She had practiced the
words. She had even written them down, but now with Laura standing right in
front of her, Toni couldn’t think of a syllable. Luckily, Laura could.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been up to see you this week,”
Laura said, motioning for Toni to come into her office. “With John out, it gets
a bit hectic at times.”

Seeing the stack of papers on Laura’s desk, Toni turned to
leave. “I’m sorry. You’re busy. I don’t want to keep you from your work.”

“No, Toni,” Laura called out. “I was just coming up to see
you. How’s the arm?”

“It’s fine,” Toni said, once again staring at the floor.

“Yeah?”

Her fists tightening with determination, Toni raised her
eyes. “Look, I just wanted to ask you, I mean, well I thought it was time that
I pay you back for taking care of me.”

“Okay?”

“Would you like to...would you like to have dinner on Friday
night...with me?”

Without hesitation, Laura said, “Yes, I would, very much.”

“Really? I mean...that would be great.”

“So, where are you taking me?”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” Toni said quietly. “I
don’t really know—”

“I have an idea,” Laura said, sensing the woman’s dilemma.
“Since you don’t get out much, why don’t I pick you up at six, and then we’ll
decide together. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds good,” Toni said, turning quickly to leave.
“Well, I’d better let you get back to work now. See you on Friday.”

“Toni.”

“Yeah?”

“You look nice. I like your new clothes.”

Toni acknowledged the compliment with a nod and then bolted
from the room, leaving Laura sitting on the edge of her desk positively
glowing. She had never seen Toni Vaughn blush before.

***

Immediately after her last class of the week, Toni raced
home, showered and was partially dressed by the time Kris arrived with her
groceries. After putting away the food, Kris walked to the bedroom and stood in
the doorway as Toni debated on what to wear. Fifteen minutes later, Kris
watched as Toni tried on the dark blue blouse for the third time.

“I like the red one,” Kris said, watching as Toni took off
the shirt.

“What the hell am I doing?” Toni muttered. Sitting on the
edge of the bed, she tossed the blouse on the floor.

“You’re just nervous,” Kris said, picking up the shirt. “You
haven’t had a date in a long time.”

“
A date
!” Toni shouted.
“Krista, this isn’t a date! This is just to thank Laura for what she did.
Christ, you don’t think that she thinks this is a date? Oh, that’s not what I
want…what I meant! Shit! I need to call her—”

“Toni, calm down. It was a poor choice of words on my part.”

“But—”

“Relax, I’m sure Laura isn’t thinking of tonight as a date.
Just two friends going out to dinner. That’s all.”

“I don’t know, if she thinks—”

“Will you
please
relax,”
Kris said, raising her voice just a tad. “Stop looking for excuses to call the
whole thing off and get dressed. She’ll be here in ten minutes, and I’m fairly
certain that she’d appreciate it if you weren’t half-naked. Then she’d
definitely
get the wrong idea.”

***

Laura stood in her bedroom wearing nothing but her underwear
as she tossed yet another outfit aside. She had tried on and removed three
different dresses, and as she stared at the clothes in her wardrobe, she
laughed. “What the hell am I doing?”

Quickly, she grabbed the next in line and slipped it on,
smoothing the fabric and pulling up the zip before stepping into her shoes and
returning to the bathroom. Glancing in the mirror, she brushed her hair,
checked her makeup and then stopped and stared at her reflection. She was
nervous, and she had absolutely no idea why. She knew that tonight would be
difficult for Toni, but why was she feeling this way? She liked dining out. She
liked having dinner with friends. She liked the restaurant she had chosen. She
liked Toni.

A thought popped into her head, and Laura immediately pushed
it away. She liked Toni. No big deal. She liked Abby and Susan and Irene. No
big deal. They were her friends and so was Toni, but then the thought returned,
and Laura gritted her teeth. “Stop being daft,” she said, glaring at her
reflection as if
it
were to blame for what she
was thinking. “She’s a woman, for Christ’s sake!”

Having spent the better part of the thirty-minute drive to
Toni’s convincing herself that she thought of the woman as a friend and nothing
more, by the time Laura reached Toni’s flat, she was calm, cool,
and
collected.

Knowing that Toni would undoubtedly be nervous and in need of
moral support, Laura wasn’t surprised when Krista opened the door and invited
her in. As she walked past, Kris took a second—a
long
second—to admire Laura’s attire.

The dress was emerald green, with a modest neckline and
three-quarter length sleeves, and as Laura strolled into the lounge, Krista
watched as the lightweight fabric swished around the woman’s slender legs. Upon
finishing her perusal, Krista came to a decision. Laura MacLeod was a babe.

“I was just leaving, but she should be out in a minute,”
Krista said quietly as she glanced toward the bedroom.

“Anything I should know?”

An easy smile played at the corners of Krista’s mouth as she
opened the door to leave. “She’s nervous. She’s scared, and I hope you two have
a marvelous night.”

A few minutes later, Toni appeared and Laura was stunned. She
knew that Toni was attractive, but when she came into the lounge wearing snug,
black leather trousers and a shimmering red blouse, attractive didn’t come
close.

“Hiya,” Laura said.

“Hi.”

Laura had two choices. Compliment Toni on her appearance, or
get her into the car before she changed her mind. Laura chose wisely.

***

After maneuvering into a parking space, Laura turned off the
engine and glanced over at her passenger. Since leaving the apartment, Toni had
hardly said a word, and the farther away from her flat they traveled, the more
anxious she had become. Now, nervously wringing her hands in her lap, Toni’s
breathing was becoming deeper with each passing second. Reaching over, Laura
lightly touched the back of Toni’s hand and instantly regretted it when Toni
jerked it away.

Mentally chastising herself for her mistake, Laura said
softly, “Why don’t we go inside and see about getting you that steak dinner?”

Nervously, Toni shook her head. “I don’t think I can do this.
I think…I think I need to go home.”

“Toni—”

“Look, I’m not stupid!” Toni shouted. “I know that you’ve
talked to Kris and probably to John, so you know I’ve got a problem with...with
this
. Please...please just take me back to my
place. I can’t do this.”

Toni’s voice, although raised for a moment, had become a
ragged, pleading whisper, and Laura’s heart broke. “Toni, you can do this,” she
said, quietly. “I called ahead and asked for a private table, and I promise
that I won’t leave your side for a minute. I know you’re scared, but you can do
this. Please...for me?”

One minute passed and then the next as Toni sat looking out
the window. She could see the entrance to the restaurant. It was only a few
steps away, barely six strides, but almost five minutes passed before she
managed to give Laura a nod as she reached for the door handle. Waiting until
Laura appeared at her window, Toni cautiously got out of the car and keeping
her eyes glued on the sidewalk, she took the longest walk of her life.

Once inside, Laura gave her name to the maître d', and as she
had promised, he led them through the dining room to a secluded, corner table
and Toni quickly chose the seat that put her back to the room. A menu was
placed in front of her, and she was welcomed to the restaurant, but she didn’t
say a word or begin to peruse the selections until the man walked away.

Glancing in Laura’s direction, Toni offered a weak smile as
she picked up the menu. As she read the descriptions of the various entrées,
her mouth began to water and her nerves settled, but when the waiter appeared
seconds later, she instantly stiffened, placed her hands palm down on the table
and lowered her gaze.

Seeing Toni’s reaction, Laura quickly took charge. Ordering
them both a glass of wine, once the waiter disappeared from view, Laura reached
over and tapped the table to get Toni’s attention. “I hope you like Cabernet.”

Toni raised her eyes and took a breath. “I haven’t had it in
a while, but yes, I do.”

“Good,” Laura said, glancing at the menu. “So do you see
anything you like?”

Toni looked at the choices again and then back up at Laura,
their eyes locking for an instant before she answered. “I think I’d like the
filet, but...”

“I can order for you, if you’d like. I don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” Toni whispered, a slight blush appearing on her
cheeks.

For the rest of the night, Laura took the lead, ordering them
dinner and drinks as needed. Their conversation began hesitantly, but once
Laura brought up the subject of teaching, for the rest of the meal, they
chatted easily.

With bellies filled and warmed by wine, they walked to the
exit wearing smiles, but as soon as they stepped outside, everything changed.
When they had arrived, the street hadn’t been crowded, but now it was
overflowing with people coming and going from the various pubs and restaurants
that lined the block, and Toni went absolutely rigid. As if cemented in place,
she could neither move nor breathe.

Without giving it a second thought, Laura grabbed Toni’s hand
and pulled her through the crowd. Reaching the car, Laura got her inside as
quickly as possible and then ran to the driver’s door. As soon as the door
closed, shutting off the noise of the street, Laura could hear Toni gasping for
air.

“You need to relax, Toni. It’s okay,” Laura said quietly.
“Just breathe easy.”

Toni nodded, but when she continued to take too many quick
breaths, Laura reached over, totally forgetting once again the woman’s fears.
As soon as she touched Toni on the leg, Toni flinched away, pressing herself
hard against the car door.

“Damn it,” Laura said, wincing at her mistake. “I’m sorry,
Toni, but you need to slow your breathing. Just relax. You’re okay.”

“Please...please just take me home,” Toni said, closing her
eyes to try to block out her fear. “I want to go home.”

***

All Toni wanted to do was lock herself in her flat and hide
from the world, but when they reached her door, Laura suggested they have a cup
of tea, and feeling obligated, Toni agreed. After setting up the kettle, Toni
excused herself, disappearing into her bedroom in hopes that a few minutes of
solitude would give her enough time to calm her nerves and lessen the weight of
embarrassment now pressing down on her.

Patiently waiting for Toni to return, Laura looked around the
lounge. Tilting her head to read the titles of the books stacked about the
room, when the kettle began to whistle, she went to the kitchen and filled the
mugs. Opening the fridge in search of milk, Laura stopped when she saw a bottle
of cloudy vodka on the bottom shelf. Under the stark brilliance of flickering
fluorescents, reality slapped her in the face.

“I don’t have any milk,” Toni said from the doorway. “Sorry.”

Swallowing hard, Laura pushed away her thoughts and shut the
door. “No worries. I can do without.”

A few minutes later, sitting at the little table crammed into
the corner of the kitchen, they sat quietly sipping their tea. Laura knew Toni
was on edge, and hoping to offer some comfort, she reached over and touched
Toni’s hand.

As if she had just been burned, Toni snatched her hand away,
the legs of her chair screeching across the floor as she pushed away from the
table and jumped to her feet. “I do
not
like
to be touched! Why can’t you understand that?”