Get Off on the Pain (24 page)

I watch as she turns and starts walking away. “Ava,” I call out, stopping her. “Let me know if you need anything . . . or if Ryder ever hurts you. Got it? I still have your back.”

She smiles that old smile I’m familiar with and nods before getting lost in the crowd.

Alex steps up next to me. “That girl still loves you, man. That’s sad.”

I grind my jaw and tense as the first fight comes to an end by knock out. Ryder is throwing up his fists in victory and hitting his chest like a damn gorilla, that fucking asshole. He’s nothing but a show off.

“She’ll move on.” I watch as Ryder stares me down, walking backwards through the crowd. He looks to be in a hurry, as if he has somewhere to go.

“Hey . . . dude.” Alex shoves my shoulder. “You ready or what? They’re calling Trevor out.”

I pull my eyes away from Ryder and look toward the white square as Trevor comes out, his face void of all emotion. He looks stiff and uncomfortable in the ring.

I don’t hear anything around me until my name comes out of the announcer’s mouth. Without a second thought I step inside the ring and start circling around Trevor, staring him down. Looking at him reminds me of the night he was all over Lyric, and suddenly I feel the rage that I should be trying to keep hidden away.

The signal to start comes. “Fight!” I come at Trevor swinging my left elbow at his jaw. It connects hard, sending him stumbling to the side.

He growls out before rushing at me and tackling me to the ground, trying to get me in a headlock. I don’t let it happen though. I maneuver my way out of his grip and jump back to my feet, ready to fight on my feet. I hate being on the ground.

Trevor growls out and shakes his head while getting back to his feet as well. I hear the crowd going wild, most of them chanting my name as he circles around me. He keeps his eyes on me, making sure he has a good shot before swinging out and connecting his knee to my ribcage. He’s a quick little shit. It hurts, but not enough to stop me, just enough to piss me the fuck off and get me going.

Coming at him, I wrap one arm around his neck, pulling him to me as I knee him in the stomach repeatedly, before releasing him and connecting my fist to his mouth.

Spitting out blood, Trevor stares me down, before growling out and swinging a bareknuckle punch to my right eye, causing me to lose my footing a little, before regaining composure.

We both just stare at each other for a moment.

I don’t want to hurt him. I really don’t. Not as much as I’m about to at least, but it has to be done. I don’t want this to last much longer. I wasn’t expecting it to be him I would fight tonight, and I have a feeling that he doesn’t want to be here fighting me either. The longer the fight goes on the more pain this asshole will feel. I’m ending this now.

I close in and grab the back of his head with both hands, slamming my knee into face, knocking him out cold. He falls backward, landing hard on the pavement.

I hear everyone shouting before I feel Alex’s hand on my shoulder. “I knew you still had it, bro. Nice.”

Pushing my way through the crowd, I quickly gather my winnings and head straight for Alex’s truck. I just need to get out of here. This feeling is too much.

The thought of me leaving my best friend knocked out cold on the ground fucking eats at me. He may be fucked up and have his problems, but I never thought it’d come down to this. I hate this life. I don’t want it anymore. I’ll do whatever I have to do and then get the hell out of here.

One more hour; just one more fucking hour and I’ll be closer to paying Asher off and getting my brother’s freedom back.

IT’S BEEN A FEW HOURS since I heard Memphis leave with Alex, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Memphis made it clear that he had something to take care of tonight and the thought has me on edge, unable to relax.

Those are the kinds of words that my father uses frequently: I have something to take care of. They always scream trouble or danger. I know that Memphis is nothing like my father, but those words make me feel like I’m a child again, watching my father walk out of the door, and wondering if he’ll ever be back.

I’ve spent most of the night pacing my bedroom floor, trying to avoid Bailey. She asks too many questions and I’m really not in the mood to discuss something that I can’t even explain myself. She’s in the living room waiting on Landen. I just hope he picks her up soon, before Memphis gets home, because as soon as he pulls up I’m going over there. I don’t care what he says. I’ve spent the whole night worrying about his secretive ass.

It’s already past midnight.

Walking past my computer, I stop and stare at the folder that reads ‘Memphis.’ Every time I look at it my heart skips a beat and then feels as if it’s being ripped from my chest simultaneously. It’s like everything inside me aches to see him. The feeling is so strong that it takes my breath away.

I glance over at my bed, realizing that there’s no way I’ll be getting sleep anytime soon, at least not until I know that Memphis is home and safe. I just hope he doesn’t disappear like he already has a couple times before. I can’t handle that. Not now.

Taking a seat in my black chair, I click on his folder and an instant rush of excitement runs through me as his pictures pop up one by one, stealing my damn air. It’s insane that he has this kind of affect on me, even when he’s not physically present. He’s special to me no matter what he says, and now that I’ve had him . . . I’m not giving up on him whether he tries to make me or not. I can’t.

My eyes scan over the pictures and stop when ones of me and him together catch my attention. My whole body heats up from the images before me and it only makes me want Memphis more. The way he made me feel is unforgettable and you can see it all over my face as he pleasured me. Something about seeing me naked with him is so damn beautiful; it’s hard to turn away from. I don’t want to.

My breath hitches in my throat and I look up when I hear Alex’s truck pull into the driveway next door. Before I can control my feet I’m jumping onto my bed to look out the window. I shove the curtain aside and my heart sinks to my stomach. I get a sick feeling in my chest when I only see Alex.

Alex tilts his head to look over at my window. He looks worried and that look makes me want to puke, but I push it back and try my best to stay calm.

Don’t panic. There’s no need to panic.

A small smile creeps over Alex’s face as he nods his head at me. Then he mouths that everything is okay. I just nod my head back and get ready to move from the window, but stop when I notice a small white car pull up.

My heart speeds up in anticipation of Memphis getting out of the car. It has to be him. Who else would it be?

I notice a headful of beautiful, long, reddish-brown hair as a woman steps out of the driver’s side and grins at Alex. They both look so happy to see each other that I can’t help but to smile to myself before closing the curtain and lying back on my bed.

Another hour slowly passes before I finally hear Bailey leave with Landen. It’s got to be getting close to two a.m. and there’s still no sign of Memphis. I want to go next door and ask Alex, but the white car is still out front and I don’t want to disturb whatever it is that they’re doing.

Yawning, I take a deep breath and roll over on my side to turn on some music. I need anything but silence right now. I need something, anything to take my mind off Memphis.

Suddenly my emotions are beginning to get the better of me, so I pull the blankets around me and try to get comfortable. It just doesn’t feel the same though. I feel lonely and . . . empty. The feeling is overwhelming.

Closing my eyes, I pretend that I’m back in Memphis’ bed, wrapped up in his strong arms. I moan as I imagine the smell of his skin. Something about being so close to him makes me feel safe and cared for. I have to admit that it’s something I’ve never felt before. I’ve had two short relationships and neither one of them ever made me feel that way, not even a little. There is no comparison whatsoever.

I take a deep breath and it’s almost as if I can really smell him. Something about that makes me feel happy inside, and I find myself smiling like an idiot.

“God that smell is so sexy,” I whisper.

“So are you.”

Throwing my hand over my chest, I sit up real fast and almost scream with joy when I see Memphis standing in the doorway. My heart speeds up as he steps into my room, and that’s when I see it. His face is bloodied and bruised, his hands cut open, and his shirt is splattered with blood.

“Oh my God!” I jump out of bed and run over to him. “What happened Memphis? Are you okay?” I run my hands over his face as panic surges through me. Seeing him this way breaks my heart more than I could have ever imagined. Every single part of me screams and aches to take care of him and take away his pain.

“Did this happen in the alley, Memphis? Talk to me! You look bad, really fucking bad. I can handle it. I’ve seen more shit than you could ever imagine over the course of my life.”

He shakes his head and grips my hands, bringing them down to his chest. “Nah. None of those fuckers in the alley could do this kind of damage to me. Trust me.” His jaw steels. “This is something that I really need you to stay out of. Do you understand me?”

I swallow hard and shake my head.

“Do. You. Understand. Me?”

He bites his bottom lip and lets out a frustrated breath when I don’t answer him. “Dammit, Lyric. I shouldn’t have come here.”

He gets ready to walk away but I stop him. “No.” I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him back toward me. “Let me take care of you, Memphis. Please,” I whisper.

He looks into my eyes for a long moment before pulling his shirt off and tossing it beside my bed.

I can’t help but to cringe when I notice the bruises that are forming on his ribcage. There’s some on both, but mainly on the right one. He stands with his fists clenched at his sides as I run my fingers over his bruises before kneeling in front of him to kiss them.

I feel his fingers wrap into the back of my hair and I let out a small breath, unable to contain the rush that it gives me. I find my hands trailing up his chest as I lower myself even more and press my lips against the bulge in his jeans.

“You don’t have to do this,” he whispers. “It’s not safe for you to want me this way.”

This isn’t what I had in mind when I said I wanted to take care of him, but I can’t help but to want to kiss every inch of his body and make him feel better. Seeing him this way only makes it clear to me that I’ll do anything to make this man feel good. He deserves so much more than he thinks. I just wish he could see that.

“I’m not scared of my feelings for you,” I whisper as I reach up to undo his jeans. “What I’m scared of is not being close to you.”

I look up and our eyes meet right before I tug his jeans down his legs. His eyes are filled with something I’ve never seen before: hope. He looks at me with concentration, never taking his eyes away from me as I pull his boxer briefs down, letting his cock spring free.

It’s so fucking beautiful. Everything on this man’s body is so damn beautiful that it leaves me utterly speechless.

Swirling my tongue around his dick, I take him in my mouth, feeling him yank on my hair as he moans out loud. This only makes me want him more, so I take him deeper and deeper until he’s hitting the back of my throat.

I expect him to be rough with me, but am surprised when he caresses my cheek with one hand while holding onto my hair with the other.

“That’s it, baby.” He thrusts into my mouth a few times, growling out, before tilting my chin up so that our eyes meet again. “Fuck me, I need to be inside you.”

He pulls me up to my feet and places both hands on my face, cupping it. He stands like this for a minute with his jaw flexing, before he picks me up and slams his lips against mine, us both falling back on the bed.

I am so lost in the moment that I don’t even realize he’s undressing me until we’re both naked and I feel him pressing at my entrance.

“You’re so damn beautiful to me,” I whisper. “Everything about you, Memphis. I promise you that.”

He shakes his head and begins to back away. “No, I’m not.” His nostrils flare as he runs a hand through his messy hair. “I’ve made mistakes, a lot of fucking mistakes, and I can’t take any of them back. Most of those mistakes make it hard to look in the mirror.”