Get Off on the Pain (26 page)

I start pacing again. I can’t hold still.

“I did what I had to do to take care of my family when you couldn’t do the damn job. I didn’t just fight to get my anger out. No. I fought to help pay for expenses. I knew mom’s medical expenses weren’t cheap. You were too fucked up to notice, blowing money we didn’t have on booze, but when mom was in the hospital for weeks at a time you left us with no food. No fucking food. I supplied that shit for Alex. I made him dinner and made sure he got to school. I did my best, but it was never good enough for you.”

“It was good enough for your mother.”

I stop pacing and look up to see Jack. He walks over to stand in front of me and squeezes my shoulder. “Your mother was proud of you, Memphis; so damn proud of you. Don’t you ever think otherwise, boy.”

I swallow back the anger and look up into Jack’s eyes. I can always tell when he’s telling the truth. I need to see right now. “Even after I put my father in the fucking ground? After I left her when she needed me the most? Huh?”

He squeezes my shoulder tighter as I hold his gaze. “That woman was proud of you until the day she took her last breath.” Jack shoves me away. “This.” He points at my father’s grave. “Was a huge mistake, but it happened because it had to. Ethan was a mess. Everyone knew that. Everyone could see it, but they chose to turn the other way because he was the Sheriff.
You
were the only one that stood up to him when needed. It was his time to go, and so he did. His place was no longer here.”

Jack walks over to stand in front of my father’s grave. He looks down at it for a moment before speaking again. “You need to leave your anger here, Son. It’s time for you to let go and try to move on.”

I clench my jaw and shake my head. “What if I can’t?”

“You will after you read this.” I watch Jack’s hand as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a small envelope. “Your mother asked me to give you some time before I gave it to you.” He looks up. “Now’s the time. You need to read this, but when you’re ready and after you get some damn sleep.”

I grasp the envelope in my hand and a flood of tears fall down my face as I look down at it. It has a painting of a guitar on the back. Not just any guitar, but mine. She knew how much I loved that guitar. She had gotten it for me on my fifteenth birthday before she first got sick.

“You should come with me and get some rest. I think you need to get out of that house for the night and clear your head.”

I look up at Jack and nod as I carefully place the envelope in the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt.

He’s right. I need some rest before I have to fight tonight. This is the big night. Asher has thirty grand on this fight. After this . . . Alex’s debt will be paid off. I’ll be free to leave and Lyric will be out of danger.

“Yeah,” I whisper, while staring down at the ground. “You’re right.”

Then I turn and walk away, hopping on my motorcycle. I really need to get my shit in check.

ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER MEMPHIS left my house this morning I heard him leave on his motorcycle. It’s now almost four p.m. and he still hasn’t returned. I’m trying my best not to worry, but I can’t help it. When I care about someone I worry. It’s natural.

I’m about to walk to my car and get in when I see Alex digging around in the back of his truck. I don’t have to be at work for another fifteen minutes, but to be honest at this point I really don’t care if I’m late.

“Hey!” I call out as I jog over to Alex’s truck.

Alex looks behind him and smiles his sexy, sweet smile when his eyes land on me. “Hey, gorgeous.” He nods to my car where I left the driver side door open. “You heading out for work?”

I nod my head. “Yeah. I just wanted to come and ask you if you’ve heard from Memphis.” I watch patiently as Alex gathers up a box full of drawings and tosses them into a bigger box with art supplies.

“He’s with my mother’s old friend, Jack. His ass was knocked out cold when I talked to Jack about an hour ago. He’s fine.”

Alex’s whole demeanor seems to change as he quickly reaches for the box and shuts the tailgate behind him. He suddenly looks tense . . . almost guilty.

“Okay . . .” I swallow and look behind me at my car. “I have to get to work. Will you tell Memphis that if he needs me I’ll be working until midnight?”

Alex nods his head while reaching over to kiss me on the forehead. “Sure thing, baby girl.”

He turns around to walk away, so I call out his name, stopping him. I just remembered that Ryan is supposed to be leaving sooner than we thought and now Styles is looking for a replacement. After seeing all the artwork in his box I have no doubt that Alex will be the perfect person to fill his spot.

“You should stop by
Ravage Tattoos
in a few hours.” I force a smile. “My manager is looking for someone to replace Ryan.”

“No shit.” Alex grins. “I’ll be there after I do a few things.” He starts backing away and winks. “Don’t miss me too much.”

I laugh as he turns around. “I’ll try my best, but it’s so damn hard not to,” I tease.

After he disappears I turn around and head back to my car. The thought that I’ll be stuck at the tattoo shop for eight hours makes my stomach ache. Even though Alex said that Memphis is fine I have this feeling that he isn’t, at least not emotionally. Not after the way he left my house early this morning. Something was eating at him.

As I get in my car and drive the guilt of me losing it on him this morning starts to eat at me. He wanted me to get mad at him. He wanted me to push him away and that’s exactly what I did, but really . . . what he needed was someone to do the opposite.

Now I just hope I can make it through work and keep my head in the game, not focused on Memphis in hopes that he’ll show up at the shop tonight.

Well fuck me to hell.

IT’S NOT UNTIL
AFTER ELEVEN
when Alex finally shows up at the shop. I’m sitting on the couch in the front when he walks in and greets me.

Styles is in the back somewhere and Ace has been in his room with some chick for the last hour, so I’ve been out here alone, lost in thought.

“Hey,” I say with a small smile. “About damn time you decided to show up.”

Alex places a binder on the counter before walking over to the couch and plopping down next to me. “Yeah, I went to go visit Memphis at Jack’s. It’s been too long since I’ve seen Jack.”

My heart instantly starts racing at the sound of Memphis’ name. I want to ask what is going on and when he is coming back, but Styles’ rude ass jumps up from behind me, almost scaring the piss out of me.

I turn around and slap Styles on the arm as he laughs. “Fuck you, Styles!”

“Maybe later, baby,” he teases.

I roll my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. I know he’s only teasing, so I give Alex a look to show him that as well. He instantly relaxes. If he wants to work here, then he’ll have to get used to the assholes that come along with it.

“I’ll be in my room. If you need me let me know.”

Styles waves me off, and starts talking to Alex as I walk away.

ONLY FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING time and Alex comes into my room with a huge grin on his face. I feel my heart beat fast with excitement when I realize that means he got the job. For some reason, knowing that Alex will be here with me makes me feel a small bit of peace. He’s the closest person to Memphis and it just assures me that I’ll at least always know that Memphis is doing all right. Don’t get me wrong, I want Alex here just to have him too, but it’s definitely a plus that he’s Memphis’ brother.

I smile at him from my chair. “Congrats, Alex.” He walks over to stand next to my desk. “I had a feeling that Styles would hire you. I haven’t seen much of your work, but from what I did see it was really beautiful.”

“I got that talent from my mother.” He grabs the back of my chair and motions for me to stand up. “She was the most talented artist I had ever known. She showed me her first painting when I was three. I knew right then that I wanted to be like her someday.”

He pauses briefly. “And well Memphis . . . he’ll never admit this, but he got his musical talent from my father. We both did actually. I used to play guitar when I was younger and then picked up the guitar again after Memphis left and started playing it for my mother. I’ll never be as good as Memphis, but . . .”

“Doesn’t matter,” I say softly while grabbing his shoulder. “I bet it made your mother really happy.”

Alex smiles. “Yeah. It was the only thing that kept her smiling till the day she died.”

I think about the tattoo on Memphis’ side and the one he has on his back. He loved his mother so much. He doesn’t have to say it for me to know that. I see that in both of these boys. It only makes me care about them even more.

It’s silent for a few moments before I finally just come out and ask what I’ve been stressing over all day.

“Where’s Memphis, Alex?” I look up and meet his eyes. “I know Memphis probably told you not to tell me. In fact, I
know
he did, but I
need
to know. I care about him and I at least need to know that he’s safe. I know he fought somewhere last night. Is he fighting again?”

Alex shakes his head and lets out a breath of frustration. “He’s going to fucking kill me if I tell you. It’s for your own safety. Trust me.”

He starts walking away, but I grab his arm to stop him. He can’t just say that and walk away. “Don’t do this to me, Alex.” I grab his face and force him to look me in the eyes. “I care about Memphis more than he knows, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone in my life. I have no family, Alex. All I have is Bailey, you, and well . . . Memphis, so please.”

I see pain flash through his eyes before he jerks his face away and growls. He knows what it’s like to only have a few people to care about. I hate using this against him, but I have no other choice.

“Well shit.” His jaw flexes as he lets out another breath. “He’s fighting for some guy named Asher Sharp. This is his last fight and then he’s done. It’s all because of me, but this is supposed to pay off my debt and then there’s nothing else to worry about. I promise.”

My blood runs cold as the words leave his mouth.

Asher Sharp. Asher Sharp.

The words repeat in my head until I start to feel dizzy. I try to speak, I know I do, because I feel my lips moving, but nothing comes out. Not a single syllable.