Get Off on the Pain (20 page)

He raises his hands and takes a step back, playfully. “Fuck, you’re feisty. I like it.” I have a feeling that his last shot has kicked in, because there’s now a slight slur to his words. It’s making me uncomfortable. “Come here.” He reaches for my hips, but I shove him back again, causing him to steel his jaw in annoyance. “Calm down,” he says rigidly.

I swallow hard as I look at him, trying to read him. I’m starting to notice that whenever he drinks he gets a bit pushy. I should’ve known from our first encounter at the fight that night. He did reek of beer from what I remember. Now I get it: why Memphis told me he’s no good for me. I always like to judge for myself though, so I gave him a chance. Now I’m done.

“I’m getting out of here.” I walk through the small crowd and over to the table to grab my jacket.

“Whoa . . . wait a minute.” I hear Trevor close in behind me as I slip my jacket on. “It’s still early.”

“It may be early, but it’s too late for you.” I push his hand away as he reaches out to grab my jacket. “Back the fuck off, Trevor.” I raise my voice, letting him know how seriously pissed off I am right now. “I’m out. Leave me alone. Go get another drink. I’m sure you can find some girl here that likes your stupid drunken ass. It’s not me. It’s a complete turn off actually.”

I push my way outside and tense up as I feel the cool rain hit my skin. Trevor is following behind me, on my ass the whole way, and not getting the damn hint. Is he really this stupid . . . or just that drunk?

I stop beside the door and look around me. I realize that it’s probably a really crappy idea to walk home in the cold rain, but it’s probably better than being alone with him. I really don’t want to have to break my hand on his pretty face.

“Get in my car. I’ll take you home.” Trevor backs me up against the wall of the bar, placing his hands above my head. My whole body is quivering from the cool rain, and all I really want to do is go back inside, but I won’t. I’m leaving whether he likes it or not.

“No. I’m good.” I try to move around him, but he keeps his hands firmly planted in place. “Trevor,” I growl out. “Move out of my way. Now.”

He hits the wall above my head in anger, startling me. I hate myself for flinching. I’m stronger than that. “How the hell are you going to get home? It’s raining.” He motions around us before replacing his arm against the wall. “I’m fine. Just let me drive you. Let’s go.”

“No, you’re drunk. Just move out of my way.” I shove him as hard as I can a few times, but he’s so big that it barely fazes him. I try once more to move under his arm, but it doesn’t work. “Move, Trevor!”

Out of nowhere, he suddenly gets pushed out of my way and slammed up against the side of the building.

It takes me a second to register the sight in front of me, but when I do, my heart drops to my stomach and my breath hitches in my throat. Memphis has one hand wrapped around Trevor’s throat, shoving him against the wall. Every muscle in his arm is tense. His face is so close to Trevor’s that they’re almost touching. I’ve never seen Memphis look so lethal.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Memphis slams him against the wall again, but harder this time. “I thought you’d grow out of this shit by now, you dumb motherfucker.” Trevor reaches out, but Memphis knocks his hand out of the way, evidently not done with him yet. “Back the fuck off her. Don’t fucking touch her again. I’m fighting my hardest not to fuck you up here, but next time there will be no controlling it. Got it?”

“Dude.” Trevor finally gets Memphis to release his throat, but Memphis doesn’t back up far enough to let Trevor move much. He’s towering over him, with his muscles flexed and prepared to fight. “You’re going to fight me over this bitch; your best friend? She’s just some fucking girl. She means nothing. What happened to you behind those fucking bars? We had a bro code and you broke it. We are supposed to have each other’s back.”

Memphis turns his face away for a second, his jaw clenched, before he turns around and punches Trevor in the mouth.

Trevor’s head flies back into the building and he reaches out to touch the blood on his lip. “Fuck you, Memphis!”

“Come on. Let’s go.” Ignoring Trevor, Memphis wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me alongside him to his motorcycle.

“You haven’t changed either, Memphis!” Trevor shouts from behind us. “You still can’t control your anger. It’s only a matter of time before you let it happen again!”

Memphis freezes for a second, grinding his jaw, before he places the helmet on my head and helps me on the bike behind him. I can tell that he’s trying with everything in him not to go back over there and pummel Trevor. “Hold on tight.”

AFTER WE PULL UP IN Memphis’ driveway he cuts the engine, but just stays on his motorcycle. He doesn’t make an attempt to move, so neither do I.

“You should go inside,” he says. “It’s raining.”

I think about staying on his bike and just holding him, but then I remember that I’m supposed to be staying away from him. He doesn’t want me like I want him. I need to remember that and move on.

Getting off his bike, I set his helmet down in his lap and start walking through the grass toward my house. I’m so cold by this point that I can barely walk. My legs feel numb from my soaked clothing.

I only get a few feet away before I feel Memphis wrap his arms around my waist and pull me against his body. His jacket is now open, so he wraps me up inside of it, and I instantly cuddle up against his chest to keep warm. It feels so damn good being in his arms. It feels . . . safe.

“Sorry. It wasn’t raining when I left,” he says softly. “I’m being an ass. Come on. You need to get warm.”

Letting go of me, he takes his jacket off and drapes it over my shoulders, while leading me back toward his house.

“Memphis . . .” I try to stop walking, but he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “Put me down so I can go home.”

“You’re not going home.” He pushes the front door open and nods to Alex as he smiles up at us from the couch.

“Nice, bro. Try not to scare her off.” He stands up as Memphis turns down the hallway. “I’ll kick his ass if you need me to, Lyric. Just yell for me.”

I can’t help but to smile at Alex. He’s so damn cute, and somewhat irresistible. Unlike Memphis, he probably doesn’t have to kidnap girls to get them in his room.

I wait for Memphis to throw me down on his bed before I jump to my feet and shove his chest. All he does is look down into my eyes, holding me captive. One look. That one look brings me to my knees and causes me to surrender. I feel soft now. All my anger is gone.

“I should go home, Memphis.”

He ignores me. Without a word he strips himself down to his boxers, before reaching out to undress me. “Stay.”

All I can manage to do is look at his face while he concentrates on slowly undressing me. That look always gets me. He doesn’t seem so tough then. He seems gentle and caring.

“I’m not having sex with you,” I say as firmly as I can. It’s a struggle, a big struggle, because in all honesty I want to make love to him. I want him to take me in every way.

Grabbing me by the waist he pulls me into bed with him and wraps us both under the blanket. “I’m not trying to have sex with you. If I were . . . you’d know.” He pulls me as close as possible and starts rubbing my arms and legs. “I’m trying to warm you up so you don’t get sick. My mom used to do this when I was a small kid,” he says softly. “Just let me do something right for once.”

I feel my heart shatter from the pain in his voice as I snuggle into him and close my eyes. I don’t say a word. I don’t want to ruin this moment. It’s not very often that this man is gentle. I’ll take it when I can.

Between his body heat and the warmth of his breath on my neck, I warm up quickly and can feel my body slowly stop shaking in his arms.

“Why were you out with Trevor? I thought I told you he was no good for you.” His voice comes out stiffly, laced with pain as he pulls me closer to him.

Closing my eyes, I snuggle into his arm, breathing in his scent. “I always judge for myself, Memphis,” I say softly. “I would never judge you by another person’s words, so I won’t do it to others either.”

He lets out a soft breath as if he understands where I’m coming from. “Yeah, well . . . I will never lie to you, Lyric. I want you to trust me on that. I may not be able to tell you certain things, but I will never speak a lie to you. Tell me you’ll stay away from Trevor,” he demands.

Rubbing my lips against his arm, I whisper, “Okay.”

He squeezes me once, showing that he’s satisfied, before moving my hair behind my ear and gently kissing my neck.

My heart constricts from this tiny kiss alone. It was a gentle, caring gesture . . . the one thing he said he incapable of, but he just was. I close my eyes and smile to myself, afraid of ruining the moment. It feels too good.

This man has the most beautiful heart I know. I just wish he could see it . . .

SHE’S SOUND ASLEEP IN MY arms and hasn’t moved an inch since the moment her eyes closed. I stopped rubbing her over an hour ago, but I haven’t moved from my spot either. I’ll admit it feels damn good having her close; a feeling that I’m not used to, and one that I didn’t want.

I should’ve known better than to fuck her, taking her body in the way I craved, but I could only fight it for so long. Knowing that she wanted it too made it fucking impossible. She’s different than the other girls. She was right when she said it, and now that I’ve felt what it’s like to be inside her, I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s tormenting to want someone in a way that you can’t have them, knowing that you can never give them what they truly need, or what you would want them to have.

As soon as she finds out the truth about the monster I can be, she’ll be gone. She doesn’t know anything about me, at least nothing good enough for her to want to stay. Plus, having her in my life could be dangerous for her, especially now that Asher is involved. That’s why when the time is right, I’ll show her who I really am. I have a feeling that is the only thing that will scare her away and keep her safe if some shit goes down.

Her body is now warm in my arms, yet I’m still trying to hold her close so that I can comfort her. In my arms she looks so small. She’s the perfect fit.

Remembering the way her body was trembling makes me feel like total shit. I had a feeling she would end up on the back of my bike, but when I left the house it was a hell of a lot warmer and sure as hell wasn’t raining.

I was sitting out on the back porch with my guitar, trying to stay away, when I heard Trevor pick her up around eight. It took everything in me not to go over there and stop her from going, but I knew it wasn’t my place. I pushed her away, and in that moment it was time to let her go. I can’t expect her to abandon dating, or to deny anyone else; although, he’s the last guy I’d hoped she’d fall for.

I couldn’t stand the thought of her being with him, so I took off riding, hoping it would calm my racing thoughts. It did nothing but fuel them more. The longer she was out with him, the more it angered and worried me.

When I realized they were at the bar, of all places, my blood boiled at the idea of him possibly taking advantage of her. He’s a good guy and has always had my back, but when he drinks he’s someone else completely. He’s a lot like my piece of shit father was, as much as I hate to admit it. I’ve always hoped I’d never have to see anyone turn into anything remotely close to that asshole, especially my best friend, but I noticed it more and more as time went on. I tried to help him, but some people don’t want to be helped. The only way to change is to first want to yourself.