Geli Voyante's Hot or Not (26 page)

‘
Geli,’ he pleads. ‘
Geli, talk to me.
’

Not happening.

Finally, he gets the hint and leaves, and he leaves me shaking and in a mess.

As soon as I hear the front door slam, I grab my phone and hit dial.

‘Hey Geli,’ Glinda answers. ‘What’s up? What did Theo get you for Valentine’s Day? How are you feeling?’

It’s no surprise that she swiftly makes her way round to Theo’s flat when I start sobbing down the phone at this question.

What happens now?

Irgh
. The external line? Tiggy? No, she’s taken to torturously visiting me in my pod over the past few days which has made me flush with guilt every time, though weirdly I don’t feel this way in front of Theo...

Glinda from NYC then? No
, doesn’t work out with the time difference. I won’t be able to have my daily chat with the Glindster until this evening. Who could this be then? Travel agency, maybe? Ooh, maybe they’ve over-booked the plane and someone important requires my seat. They can have it, or maybe they can have Theo’s seat because, truth be told, that kiss with Calvin... I really wish Theo wasn’t coming to South Africa with me. More so, I really wish I wasn’t going to South Africa to witness Calvin marry Tiggy... These past few days have been
horrific
, but clearly Calvin doesn’t really feel anything for me because the wedding is still going ahead.

‘Hello
, New News
. Geli speaking,’ I glumly answer with these thoughts swirling around.

‘
Hi love.’

‘Hi
Mum.’ Unexpected. Mum
never
phones work. She doesn’t sound panicked though so it can’t be an emergency.

‘Are you feeling better, dear?’ she asks.

‘Yep,’ I confirm. ‘I came back to work on Tuesday and I stop taking the tablets tonight.’

It’s sweet of her to
phone up at work to check on me but quite unnecessary as Theo is keeping a close eye on me – OK, I feel a
little
guilty with how sweet he is being, plus Jerry is offering me tea like it’s some magic elixir. Susie has offered me a helping hand with my column but it’s an easy one this week because I’m going to write about Durban’s pros – it’s about time it got some positive tourist press rather than Cape Town. Not that there is anything wrong with Cape Town – far from it – but Durban’s beautiful too and a lottle overlooked by Brits, I find.

I can’t tell you how excited I
am to be skipping some columns to go on this holiday – even if I don’t want to see my dad, or my wicked stepmother, or see Calvin marry Tiggy – but when I get back I’m going to have a serious talk and see if there’s a new direction I can take within the
New News
family. I can’t keep it up being the Hot or Not girl for much longer judging by recent column reluctance. Plus, what I once saw to be the perk of my job, Mr Bones, is now the downside because
I am always with him
. He’s taking this business of loving me far too seriously. So far I’ve managed to escape saying it, but we’re having a farewell dinner on Thursday night as I’m heading to Reading after work on Friday... Would it be better to end things before the holiday or afterwards? I wish I knew.

‘
And you’re sure you’re OK to fly?’ she asks.

‘Unfortunately
,’ I tut.

Where’s a case of hospitalisation when you need one? It would give me the perfect excuse to miss the wedding, or even avoid this extra week I’m in South Africa alone without the safety net of Theo and Claire against the Boodles and my father. Theo was supposed to fly ou
t with me, but now he’s not.

I
’m pleased I have a break from him – maybe that will give me clarity on what I actually feel; absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that – but I can’t help think he should just cancel his trip to Durban full stop.

I’m so
close to caving in and telling him I love him, even if that’s not the truth, but I’m getting to the point where I’d do anything to stop that look he gets when I don’t reciprocate. The necklace hanging heavily on my chest every day isn’t helping matters. It has a dent in it which makes me feel terrible given how much it cost him, but at least I can leave it behind in London, citing fear of losing it on the beach, or in the surf… throw in the possibility of a mugging or a car-jacking. Unfair to use that one, but Theo’s British (well, British-Danish), so his idea of South Africa is biased.

Oh, then there
’s the massive amount of guilt I feel for kissing Calvin, on Theo’s bed. (How could I forget that? Let’s face it, I couldn’t if I tried. I keep dreaming it over and over.) But clearly it’s something Calvin doesn’t feel guilty about because, as far as I’m aware, the wedding is still going ahead and Tiggy hasn’t scratched my eyes out for kissing her fiancé.

‘Anyway, what’s up?’ I ask, when she doesn’t comment on my tut.

‘I thought I’d better phone and warn you,’ she starts slowly.

I groan. ‘What is it? Claire wants to talk
about her wedding on Friday?’

‘You’ll prefer that scenario,’ she replies.

‘Oh God, what is it?’ This can’t be good if she is phoning me at work, I should have realised. What can it be?

‘Your dad,’ is what she answers.

‘What about him?’ Cold. Lurch. Of.
Dread
.

‘You’ll be talking to him on Friday night.’

‘No, no way,’ I jump in before she can expand. I do not need to hear the rest because there is no way I am seeing him on Friday night. I would rather tell Theo I love him than see Dad.

‘Why does he have to phone?’ I continue. ‘He’ll be seeing me at the weekend.’

‘Not phone,’ she says. ‘He’s in London now; he changed his plans so you’re flying out with him on Saturday.’

No, no
, no, this cannot be happening. Dad
cancelled
his London trip and I had it all planned out – a lovely flight to read my magazines and watch my movies, with no distractions, even if that means not having anyone to help me get my suitcase off the carousel. I cannot be trapped at 37,000 feet in a non-escapable metal tube with him for twelve hours. No. No way. I would rather be civil to Tiggy for the rest of my days than endure this. Heck, I really would rather tell Theo that I love him.

‘Just one moment, M
um,’ I say, covering up the handset.

‘Theo?’ I call.

‘Yes, babe?’

‘Theo, I love you.’

‘I love you too, babe.’ He looks the happiest I’ve ever seen him.

I
uncover the phone. Right, now Mum is going to tell me she was joking about my father and I get to spend Friday night talking about Claire’s wedding, followed by an enjoyable flight on Saturday eating metallic-tasting food and breathing in germs, albeit not the germs of my father because he’ll be in Durban.

‘Y
ou were saying?’ I brightly ask. Think positive.

‘So, yes. Y
our father would like to clear the air with you in a neutral non-Boodles environment before you touch down in South Africa,’ she expands.

Shit
. She really did mean it.
Double shit
. I’ve just told Theo I love him.
Triple shit.
After I kissed my stepsister’s fiancé, in his bed.
I’m fucked.

‘No
way,’ I protest. ‘He can be there all he wants, but I refuse to talk to him. He can’t make me.’ I know I’m telling the wrong person.

‘Unfortunately, he can
,’ she replies.

‘How?’ I scoff. ‘I’d like to see him try.’
And really, what is he going to do?
Nothing
will make me talk to him.

‘He’ll put down a deposit on a flat of your own,
’ is what she surprisingly says. ‘
If
you clear the air with him.’

Oh, that is low. Clever, but low. What a bribe though. I’m nearly tempted, but decide to stand my ground.
Does he think he can buy my love? I’m not falling for it.

‘No
way,’ I state.

Mum laughs. ‘He knew you’d say that.’

‘So?’ I challenge, even though I know my mum doesn’t deserve this. My anger is misdirected.

‘So he said to tell you if you don’t agree to it
, he’ll give the money to Tiggy.’

Th
at’s
low. He’s not even Tiggy’s dad, though I did suspect he had paid for part of the wedding until Claire reminded me about Uncle John’s sizeable life insurance policy which was left in trust for Tiggy.

No way
should she get that money from Dad. I would rather talk to him and give the money to charity than let Tiggy spend it on ridiculous shoes and hair extensions.

‘Fine,
’ I snap. ‘I’ll see him.’  

‘It’s for the best, sweetie,’ she
soothes, all mum-like.

‘I know, I know.
’ I sigh. ‘Bloody man.’

‘Look, I’ll talk to you later, darling. I am sorry about this.’

‘I know, I know. It’s not your fault. Bye Mum,’ I say glumly.

‘I’m going to miss you,’ Theo says, leaning in to kiss me.

I try not to flinch.
I try not to flinch every time Theo tries to touch me. I’ve had to lie and tell him I’m a nervous flyer and that’s why I’m acting a bit weird. We’re on my bed, surrounded by the rest of my room, which looks like a bombsite. I’ve not managed to pack yet, but I have many piles of possibilities.

We’ve just got back from “our” restaurant –
The Ledbury – and I managed to make him want to remain there for all the courses this time by saying it was that time of the month. My guilt is eating away at me. I wonder if Calvin feels this way too, but I guess the wedding would be off if he did.

It doesn
’t help that Theo has cancelled a night out with the boys to be with me – the seriousness is beginning to panic me – and he also wants us to be
Facebook official
. I know
.
I’d feel claustrophobic, if only the thought of being trapped in a plane with my dad wasn’t already having that effect on me. He’s cancelled the Friday night meet-up and now our “big talk” will take place in the air. I suppose international air space truly is the most neutral territory for us.

‘
Likewise,’ I successfully manage to purr at Theo as I divert my attention back to something
slightly
more pleasant.

Maybe I won’t have any problem lying to my dad. Just a quick “I fo
rgive you, I’m a grown-up now” and then I can spend the rest of the flight with my movies and the latest
Vogue
. I’ve not read
Vogue
since the last time I was on a plane because it’s considered a big show of family disloyalty to even glance at a
Condé Nast
publication, let alone read one.

‘I’m going to find it stran
ge not sharing a bed with you.’

‘It’s only a week,’ I reply irritated. By which I mean, I wish it
were longer. I wish I wasn’t having this conversation; I wish I understood before all of this what “Be careful what you wish for” actually meant. Most of all, I wish I was brave enough to walk away from Theo right now...

‘
Mmmm, but I won’t be able to sleep until I get my Geli baby back in my arms.’ Theo nuzzles my neck.

OK
, now Theo wins over Dad in the claustrophobic stakes. Plus, this nickname of “Geli baby” turns me off more than anything else. It makes me feel all fat and wobbly. I wish I could fathom out what I could do to make Theo be repulsed by me – maybe if I got fat and wobbly like my “Geli baby” namesake? Then he’d dump me and save me this dilemma. Not even the change back to blonde has repulsed him. He loves the return to my roots, a transformation that took place this afternoon. I still can’t get over the blondeness myself. I keep spinning around when I catch myself in the mirror, half-expecting to see someone behind me.