Geli Voyante's Hot or Not (22 page)

For once
, we head back to Theo’s place. He lives in Bloomsbury because of its close proximity to the British Library. His ground floor flat is open-plan and airy, overlooking the square that the neighbouring Georgian terraces are based around. Shiny black railings stop everyone from accessing the garden in the centre – it’s key holders only – and he even has a tiny garden at the back of his house which is just for him. It’s a nice place, but it feels quite cold, though the reason he lives here makes more sense to my image of him than, say, Theo partying in Newcastle. If I hadn’t seen photographic evidence of that on Facebook, I’d never have believed it.

Then again, Theo’s serious side hardly matches how he is
attacking me right now, which really isn’t doing anything for me. There’s a desperate hunger to it that would be quite flattering if only I could get Calvin out of my head. Bugger,
Calvin
. At the thought of him, my body starts to treacherously respond to Theo’s attack. Not on.

‘Hey,’ I say. ‘
Theo!’

‘What?’ He lifts
his head up to look at me from his position on the floor.

I know most girls would kill
for a man to drop to his knees and hitch their dress up for a little TLC of that persuasion, but I can’t say I’m enjoying it and it is not just because I wish Calvin was doing this to me. It seems to me that Theo is doing this because he feels like he wants to prove something; I’m not quite sure what it is. This gesture feels as exciting as a trip to the dentist.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.

He unhooks my leg and stands up. ‘Nothing,’ he replies unconvincingly.

‘Theo?’ I reach
out to stroke his face because he looks lost, but he blocks my hand. He actually
blocks
my hand!

‘
Theo
?’ Suddenly I don’t want to be in the same room as this stranger, but as quickly as his weird look appears, it passes and is replaced by a more welcoming mischievous glint.

‘I forgot how
you don’t like it nice at first.’ He growls, reminding me of our first time. He stands up and pushes me hard into the wall, pinning my arms up above my head before pressing his body against mine.

My
, what’s
that
? Mere moments ago, I felt terrified; now I can’t help but giggle dirtily.

‘Are you
OK?’ I ask.

H
e teases his lips dangerously close to my neck so I can feel his breath, but not his touch. Forget turned-on. I now feel hot and claustrophobic.

‘Your stepsist
er is vile. She wanted to know if I’m still attending her bloody wedding.’

Part of me wants to make sure he is because I really cannot face the event on my own, but the other part of me wants to discover the answer to what Theo thinks about weddings – whether he co
uld ever see us getting married. I want to know if there’s any chance I might have my own engagement party one day,
especially
considering I seem to be developing a majorly weird crush on Calvin, of all people, and I need that crush to go away. Swiftly.

‘Aren’t all weddings stupid?’ I ask him.

‘That’s what I love about you, Geli Voyante. We’re on the same wavelength.’

My heart soars.
Love
. He didn’t say “I love you” exactly, but he said “love”. Yes, I’m fickle. With one teaser word from Theo, I’m suddenly planning our stupid wedding and dismissing Calvin from my mind.

Wait, that’s not fickle
, that’s actually me being sensible considering
Theo is my boyfriend and Calvin is Tiggy
’
s fiancé
. This is a much safer idea I have in my head than the image of what
my
South African wedding to Calvin would be like...
Bad thoughts again.

‘But yes,
I’m still going,’ he continues. ‘Only for you though.’

My arms are still pinned above my head so I can’t grab him like I’d like to,
but I can lean in and kiss him in thanks in the hope that I can vamoose the C-word from my mind. Before I know it, we’re kissing wildly, my legs are wrapped around him and it’s all over before I’ve even registered it’s begun as he slams me quite painfully into the wall. Theo has a satisfied smirk on his face as I sink to the ground, trembling not from my body’s desire but Theo’s violence.

That was uncalled for
, but at least I see him take a condom off recalling the horrible aftermath of last time. This feels very awkward, like we’re both playing some sort of game, and I’m not sure I actually want Theo at the wedding because one minute he’s acting one way, the next completely different.

‘Earth to Gel
i?’

I snap my head up. Theo has joined me on the floor and he now
has the most beatific smile on his face. He’s not looking tenderly at me, but he looks like he cares. It is the look of a man who is concerned about me and that reassures me Theo does like me – that I need to stop comparing us to everyone else, especially to Calvin and Tiggy. This crush on Calvin is ridiculous and unfounded. I’m sure I’ve only set it up to soften the blow because I think Theo will end up hurting me. I need to trust him, and give him the chance we deserve.
I also need to bloody stop thinking so much.

‘Hi
,’ I smile back.

‘You had your thinking face on.
What’s up?’

‘
I was thinking about how I need to enjoy the moment more.’

‘Do you want to enjoy a moment in the bedroom?’

‘Theo!’ I blush at this, but I don’t feel excited. Not if it’s going to be that...
intense
.

‘Come on then.
’ He stands up and offers me his hand. ‘Don’t think I don’t care, Geli,’ he says as he pulls me up. ‘Because I do. I also care about you enjoying yourself, and I get the impression you didn’t just now.’

I follow him
to his bedroom with a shrug. This is exactly as I suspected his bedroom to be, masculine stripes and chrome colours. 

‘I
think the best thing for us right now,’ he continues, ‘is to concentrate on making each other feel good. Properly,’ he adds.

This is the Theo I
thought he was.
Where has he been?

‘I think we’ve both been a little unhappy these past few months,’ he continues
. ‘So it’s time things get better for us, OK?’

I nod, as he gently pushes me onto his bed and lowers himself on
top of me. True to his word, he makes me feel better twice before we drift off to sleep. For once a million thoughts aren’t running through my head. Just one, and it’s not Calvin-focused, thank goodness.

For four weeks I
’ve stayed happy. I lost myself in that moment with Theo, and whatever irritated him at Tiggy’s engagement party passed. As did whatever I thought I felt for Calvin. Even my immense feelings towards the fickleness of my column went when I reminded myself what I enjoy about it; how I love to find something no one else knows about – something created with love, blood and sweat and tears – then reward that hard work with a column plug. I recalled how I appreciate the beauty of a masterpiece and how a tingly feeling rushes through me when I’m moved by people’s hard work and creativity. I’ve focused on the good in life, ignored the bad, until today.

Today is
one month before my twenty-fifth birthday. It’s also b-day. That’s not a prelude to my birthday, it’s
bridesmaid
day
. Today I hit the shops with Tiggy and Claire in search of dresses, but at least Durban’s weather will stop the madness of Tiggy. There’ll thankfully be no full-length heavy monstrosity, unless she wants us to ruin her day with medical attention. Saying that, she could get some unique wedding shots of her bridesmaids on stretchers – I bet that’s never been done before.

Since the engagement party I’ve managed to avoid Tiggy. Oh, I’ve still seen her a
ll right, but thankfully I’ve been so monopolised by Theo’s attention that I’ve always managed to find an excuse to flee. She’s also been quite busy with wedding plans – it’s not been that easy for her to sort it all out from the other side of the world. Ursula has been taking over which could be amusing considering Ursula’s wedding to my dad... You don’t want to know.

Speaking of which, I’ve still not spoken to
him
, but he’s left messages. He’s also spoken to Mum to make her the bearer of bad news that he’ll be in London a few days before I fly out to South Africa, so he’s booked back on my flight. Great. I have a twelve-hour flight trapped in a canister at 37,000 feet with him. With no escape. Thank goodness Theo will be there; hopefully they can spend the time talking politics and leave me to my movies. No doubt that will involve the American Presidential Race.

After Super Tuesday last week and Theo’s constant comments on th
e damn thing (because he hasn’t and never will find out I thought he was talking about a marathon), he seems to think I have an opinion on these developments. Really, I don’t. OK, so I’m taking more of an interest in current affairs than before, but it’s award season and I’m only human. Anyway, the new President takes up the role
next year
. I’m distracting Theo with kisses whenever the chat becomes too tricky.

Mentioning Theo, I
’d better wake him so we can get the morning sex over with and I can get ready. Not to sound blasé, especially as we’ve not been going out long enough, but I’m getting a headache just from thinking about this bridesmaid torture. No doubt my head will be thumping by the end of the day. I know we’ll choose the first dress we see, then pointlessly spend the rest of the day making sure nothing else compares in London’s countless shops. I could really do without this, but it’s just one day I keep reminding myself.
Just one day.

‘Theo,’ I coo, leaning over to kiss him.

He looks so adorable asleep. He even sleeps in the same position he slept in as a child. I know this because we visited his parents last weekend, who insisted on showing me his baby photos as is their parental right. Theo, I’m pleased to report, was a late bloomer. He was a
hideous
teenager, but you could sense his transformation into hotness on his BA graduation photos. By his Masters, he was
Hot
. So much so, I had to fight the urge to let slip the lewd comments that rather inappropriately barraged my head when I saw said photos. In the end, I managed a polite smile. It was a flying visit, but I think they liked me.

Tonight though, tonight I
finally
get to meet some of Theo’s friends! He’s put it off for long enough.

‘Theo?
’ I shake his arm lightly. ‘Theo?’

I can see a
hint of a smile on his face. I know what he wants. I roll him over so he’s on his back and straddle him. The duvet is already on the floor – it never makes it through the night, and it is surprisingly cold now I’m awake. I want to pull it back over me and snuggle down, but duty calls.

I kiss him on the mouth first and his lips twitc
h back in an automatic response; he still pretends to be asleep. He’s given me enough presents to wake me up so I can’t begrudge him this.

My mouth and hands snake downwards as I start to inch my body towards the target – a target handily pointing to attract my attention in case my brain decided t
o malfunction and suddenly make a detour up his arm. I’m almost tempted to make the detour to see his reaction, but I know this is not worth trifling with unless I want him to sulk for the rest of the weekend.

I
nstead, I wrap my mouth around him – thank goodness I’ve been awake for the past hour and have had a drink because there is nothing worse than having to perform with dry morning mouth – and I make him moan heavily, all sleep pretence well and truly exposed.

‘Baby!’
he gasps, as I quickly swallow and crawl up into his welcoming arms. ‘You’re the best.’

‘Am I really
?’

He growls
in response, kissing me on the spot on my neck, just below my ear, that makes me tingle. Unfortunately, it doesn’t affect my hearing. The phone is ringing and I am cursing whoever this is. I lean over and reluctantly grab the handset.

‘Hello?’ I chirp as Theo starts attacking my boob
s.

‘Geli
.’ Claire sounds panicky. ‘There’s been an accident.’

‘
Who?’ I sit up, pushing Theo away from me. ‘Is it Mum? Is she OK?’

‘No, it’s us.’

‘But you’re OK, right? You’re on the phone to me, so you must be OK?’ I fire at her. My heart is pounding.

‘We think so
, but we’re heading to the hospital to get checked over. A car crashed into us as David was driving me to the station. He’s feeling a little funny, so we’re going to the hospital to make sure nothing’s wrong,’ she explains.

‘But
, you’re OK?’ I repeat.

‘W
e’ll be fine,’ she says briskly. ‘But obviously I’m not going to make it to London.’

‘Oh.’

Shit. I
need
Claire with me. I need her there to be able to cope with Tiggy all day long, for her to be my ally. Surely they are over-reacting? I know I can’t say this to her though.

‘Just get whatever d
ress you want. You know my size, and you’ve got gorgeous taste. It’ll be fine.’

Why didn’t I think of an accident to get me out of this shopping expedition?
‘Call me tonight to let me know how the hospital went,’ is what I say instead.

‘
Will do. Speak later.’

‘Bye.
’ I slam down the phone.

‘What’s up?’ Theo
looks concerned. ‘Is it Tiggy?’

‘Claire,’ I correct
.

Tiggy i
s neither my sister, my friend, or my concern. Why would Theo ask if it’s
her
?

‘Claire and David have been in a car accident
,’ I explain. ‘They’re going to the hospital.’

I sound so impressed.
Great. Well done, Geli. How to look like a complete bitch in front of your boyfriend when your sister and her fiancé have been in a car crash.

H
e strokes my back from where I have flopped onto my front, my hands over my head in a full-on sulk. ‘You’re not going to like shopping with Tiggy alone, are you?’

‘No,’ I mutter. Does he have to state the obvious?

‘Well,’ he suggests, ‘let me help.’

‘Oh?’ I lift
my head up. Is Theo going to come shopping with me? Be my Claire substitute? That would work, plus Tiggy will
hate
it.

He doesn’t answer. Instead he slowly moves his hand between my legs and I groan
as Theo manoeuvres his fingers in such a way that my whole body vibrates.

‘
Every time Tiggy annoys you baby, you think of this moment and you smile,’ he orders.

I gasp as he increases his pace.

‘And when she asks you why you’re smiling,’ he continues, ‘tell her
exactly
how I made you very happy this morning.’

I’ll tell her anythi
ng he wants if he keeps this up…