Geli Voyante's Hot or Not (30 page)

I
can’t answer though because Calvin has reappeared. Now he’s looking at us strangely, almost how Theo was looking at Tiggy a moment ago. Claire is bobbing up and down angrily, Tiggy has gone white at Calvin’s return, Eric is wetting himself with laughter… and now Dad and Ursula have emerged.
Great
.

‘Angelica! Angelica!’ Ursula is screaming at me. ‘I won’t have guests in the pool with their clothes and shoes on, young lady. It’ll have to be cleaned!’

I can tell she is refraining from ordering me to “go to my room” – it’s a good idea actually to escape this scene because if Tiggy tells them I “outed” her to Calvin, I’ll be in deeper water than the water I’m treading in.

‘Mother
,’ Tiggy cries out. ‘She’s ruining
everything
…’

H
onestly, I’ve not missed Theo one bit, but I tell him I have – anything to have one person here not despise me, Eric aside. Before the screeching reaches its climax, we clamber out of the pool and start to run. As we head past everyone, our clothes clinging to us, water dripping everywhere, I can’t help but notice their expressions: Claire and Dad look disappointed; Calvin looks sad; Ursula looks livid; Eric looks bemused, and Tiggy... well, Tiggy looks
jealous
? No, that can’t be right… can it?

‘So, I’m sorry Tiggy.’ I manage to make it sound quite sweet and sincere. ‘I realise now I should have discouraged Eric from calling round, but I had forgotten what he’s like. Hopefully no damage was done?’ I ask, turning to look at Calvin who is sat next to Tiggy, holding her hand.
Damn it.

This scene is sickly
, almost as sickly as Ursula’s colour scheme for this room – putrid peach. She has no taste whatsoever, and it shows with what she’s currently wearing – a lime green suit with red beads. Christmas tree springs to mind, except it’s
March
. It’s also the day we leave Durban to head to Mooi River, a town situated in the middle of nowhere but one with a beautiful wedding venue for the Boodles-Murphy-Lee wedding. It’s rather spoilt on the Boodles if you ask me.

Theo and I have spent the past few days doing the tour I did with Calvin
. Maybe because it was the second time round, it just wasn’t as much fun. There can’t be another reason, can there? However, I have been reminded of why I first fell for Theo,
beyond
the physical pull of his devilish looks that are now devastatingly accentuated from the hot summer sun. He’s been quite relaxed and not commented on the political situation of South Africa once.

It
wouldn’t surprise me though if there’s a South Africa-related article in the paper when we return to Blighty – there has to be some legitimate reason why Theo was allowed this free holiday, and not just because he’s my boyfriend. I wonder if work will be mad when we break up and they realise they gave him this time off for nothing?

D
ad beams at my “apology”. I’ve managed to avoid him one-on-one since our encounter at the airport, but he did give Theo the start of what could have been the third degree if I hadn’t quickly sent Claire to the rescue. No man deserves that, but especially not one who I am ending things with. Between keeping Dad away from Theo and not antagonising Tiggy, the next few days are going to be daunting. I’m starting to think there’s no place like home:
London
home. I miss the cold and the rain, and I really miss Glinda. It’s too expensive to call the US from here and the time difference doesn’t help either.

One thing
I don’t miss is my column. I actually saw a tempting advert for a reporter at
The Mercury
, but then I realised I’d be too close to Dad and Ursula for my liking (even if it would easily solve the Theo-problem). Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll be stuck at the paper forever more. Calvin will marry Tiggy, and I’ll have to marry Theo. I shiver at the thought. It’s my worst nightmare.

‘Exc
ellent,’ Dad says as no one else bothers to remark on my apology. I stare at Ursula’s hideous china frogs – how can Dad stand to live here? Our home here was beautifully decorated, stunning, but this place is gaudy. Ursula has no class.

Even though
this is the advent of the greatest day of Tiggy and Calvin’s lives, neither of them looks happy. In fact, I could have sworn I heard raised voices between those two last night. A girl can hope anyway.

C
laire has been infuriating by missing David dreadfully and Theo seems nonplussed about everything. He certainly has demonstrated a wide range of emotions in the months we’ve been together. He’s like
War and Peace
– somehow I don’t think I’ll ever manage to understand Chapter One, and I won’t be journeying on with the rest of the book. Theo is not an open book, but neither is he the god I thought he was back in December before this whole silly mess kicked off and the past few crazy months unfolded. I have no idea what life will be like in a few weeks when I’m back in London, having to work next to someone who says he loves me yet I have broken up with him... It scares the living daylights out of me. I shiver at the thought.

‘Geli, are you cold?’ D
ad asks.

‘Huh? What?’ I snap back into the here-and-now, surrounded by luggage
that needs to be hauled into the cars. I’m surprised she’s allowed us to dump everything in here – it’s a heinous crime here if you accidentally put something in the wrong place.

‘
It’s no surprise you’re cold with what you’re wearing,’ Ursula ticks me off. ‘Shouldn’t you be going for a more
wholesome
look, even if it’s not the case?’ she adds, nastily.

Oh no
. Maybe they
did
hear us having sex last night. How mortifying. Now Dad really will get Theo to one side and have words with him about the conduct of his behaviour with me. I hope he doesn’t encourage Theo to do something stupid like propose to me – yikes – it was bad enough that I had to placate Theo and have sex with him. I couldn’t use the excuse of my period again, and I’m not sure what excuse I could come up with to turn Theo down.

Theo sm
irks at Ursula’s comment. I admire his lack of shame, but he won’t be feeling that way if he gets stuck in a car with Dad and there is no one to rescue him from the Lecture of Doom.

‘
Soooo,’ I quickly drawl to divert everyone. ‘Car arrangements?’

‘You’re with Calvin a
nd Theo,’ Claire answers. ‘I’m with Dad, Ursula and Tiggy.’

Tiggy doesn’t even protest
. She seems happy to be
sans
Calvin and Calvin doesn’t look too distraught at his travelling companions either. He does look bloody handsome though – he’s caught the sun nicely and he looks at ease. Theo, on the other hand, looks as arrogant as ever, like everything is beneath him. He’s had a sneer on his face since he arrived. I get that it’s a pain that he’s here, getting ticked off by Ursula and Dad, but he didn’t have to come. This was his choice.

‘Actually,’ Theo pipes up
, ‘I’m going to make my way up later. I have the hire car and there’s a contact I need to meet this afternoon for a story for the paper.’

Well, that’s
one thing my dad can’t fault Theo on. Despite Theo’s behaviour with me, he’s impressed by his work ethic. And I
knew
there would be a story from Theo – a personal view on the AMC and Zuma, perhaps? It has to be.

‘You never said.’

‘Sorry, babe.’ Theo shrugs. ‘You know the paper.’

‘Do you want me to stay behind and drive up with you?’ I ask.
I’d rather not but, then again, I’d rather not be left alone with Calvin. The wedding is getting dangerously close and I’m getting dangerously close to blurting out that I think he’s making a massive mistake if he marries her. I’m sure Tiggy will swap with me though.

‘No!
’ Tiggy cuts in quickly before he can answer.

We all turn to look at her in surprise – she
’s been oddly quiet all morning, and even her outfit is demure. It’s almost as if she’s dressing like a respectable young person – a first, though no respectable young person would wear a top that low-cut in that flowery orange colour. Her denim skirt is a respectable length though and her hair doesn’t look as trashy since it’s up in a messy bun. I guess by Tiggy’s standards, this is respectable.

‘You’ll end up
not making it if you both stay. Give Theo a reason to get to my wedding.’

‘
OK,’ I say to pacify her, but that makes no sense.

Tiggy
Boodles is so peculiar. I can’t understand why she cares if Theo is there or not. He’s only here because of me. If I had plucked up the courage on my last night in London then he wouldn’t be here full stop.

‘So, are you
coming with me, Claire?’ I ask.

I
really can’t face Calvin on my own. It’s going to be tortuous. I’ll want to ask him what they were arguing about and will get really disappointed when I find out it’s something wedding-related, like Calvin hates the flowers. 

‘Nope,’ she sternly replies. ‘Everyone stick
s to their assigned cars.’

Strangely, Tiggy doesn’t challenge this either. I would have assumed she would have wanted to spend the d
rive up with her beloved fiancé, to keep me away from him. After all, I could tell him all sorts of nasty details about her.

‘
Tiggy?’

She shakes her head. Maybe the
argument was serious last night?

‘Looks
like it’s you and me then, Geli,’ Calvin remarks.

‘Looks like it.
’

Looks like this road trip is going to
be excruciating.

‘I am sorry, you know,’ I say, as Calvin’s hand seems to brush mine for what feels like the millionth time. I wouldn’t get bored of the sensation if it happened a million more times. Who knew that Calvin changing gear could be so exciting? I usually find car journeys to be as dull as ditchwater.

‘It’s not you who needs to apologise,’ he replies darkly.

Intriguing. Did Tiggy not apologise for duping Calvin? Was Calvin really that naïve to believe in St Antigone? Looking at him now, in profile, he doesn’t look too pleased. He has this crinkle around his eyes – a crinkle that looks so much nicer curled up when he is smiling, rather than deepened in anger. Despite the anger, he still looks gorgeous.

‘But still,’ I press on
, ‘I don’t seem to help matters.’

Honestly,
I’m not fishing here for any type of Calvin-praise, but the words still tumble out.

He ignores
my fishing. ‘Tell me about you and Theo.’

‘Sorry?’ I ask
like English isn’t my mother tongue.

‘You and Theo.
Are you happy together?’

‘Umm, yes,’ I reply
. I sound like I’m uncertain, which I am, though I’m more than uncertain. I want out, but I can’t tell Calvin this.

‘How did you two get together?’

‘Umm, well…’

W
hat is up with me? When did I develop this nervous stammer? Now my eye feels like it’s twitching as well.

‘We sort of just did,’ I manage to say lamely. ‘I mean,’ I r
ush on, as Calvin turns to look at me, making me shudder in delight as I meet his eyes. ‘We went for dinner, then one thing led to another.’

Better not mention Theo didn’t even manage to take off his jacket at
The Ledbury before we were on our way back to my place for dirty, diseased sex.

There’s that look again –
it must be a look of understanding. Somehow though, how Theo and I got together doesn’t compare to Calvin and Tiggy’s more PG-experience.

‘It’s funny,’ Calvin
says, ‘how one thing leading to another can put you with someone completely unexpected for the rest of your life. Is it like that with you and Theo?’

I’m not even
sure what Calvin is asking me.

‘Well, I
don’t expect us to get hitched.’ I laugh, a bit too manically.

‘So, why are you with him?’

What a question.

‘Well, umm
…’ There’s the return of my stammer. ‘I guess. Because…’

I’m too scared to dump him and now he’s here
. I wish he wasn’t but, equally, I don’t want my actions to influence yours... I want you to end things with Tiggy, with no suggestion from me, so I know that this is real what you feel, that it’s not just a rebound thing, and there will never be a tiny whiff of “what if” left in your head.

I look desperately out of the window
. Why can’t something happen at the side of the freeway so I can divert Calvin from this strange conversation? Maybe a random elephant wandering around or a sunbathing lion – not that we are in that sort of Africa, but it would be a welcome relief.