Freeing Carter (38 page)

Back in the bathroom
,
I
'
m stuffing Travis
'
s disgusting clothes into my bag as he
'
s putting on my basketball shorts and a t-shirt. It takes him a couple minutes
,
stumbling around before he gets them on. The whole time I
'
m seeing Mom. Remembering my feet getting tangled in hers as I carried her up the stairs.

"
Come on.
"
My voice is tight
,
as tight as my body as I help him to the door.

"
Carter
,
let me help him
."
Kira reaches for him when we get out the door.
"
It will look weird if someone sees the two of you together.
"

My stomach drops to my feet
,
but I know she
'
s right. My teeth grind together as she puts her arm around Travis
'
s waist
,
holding him close. His arm goes around her neck
,
the way mine would
,
the only difference is I
'
d let her lean on me instead of the other way around.

Patrice is looking around
,
nervous. Her eyes scanning the halls.
They're as
red as his are. I have to bite my tongue not to yell at her. How could she let him get this fucking drunk? But is it really her fault? I should have seen it. Talked to him. I know the signs. What to look for.
Besides, she's been drinking, too.

My whole body is stiff as we walk down the hall
,
away from the dance. Kira is holding Travis. Travis is holding Kira. She shouldn
'
t have to do this. Shouldn
'
t have to carry my drunk friend into the parking lot.

It
'
s as though there
'
s no music. All I hear is my heart and our footsteps. We have to make it out of here. Have to.

A group of girls walk out of the bathroom. Their laughter stops when they see us. Their eyes are on Kira and Travis then me. They know we
'
re together
,
everyone does
,
so they have to be wondering why my girl is walking with her arms around my best friend.

Please
,
don
'
t say anything. Please don
'
t say anything.
They keep watching us
,
my heart hammering like crazy. When we pass them I keep going
,
just needing to get him outside and out of here.

As soon as we step outside
,
the burning in my lungs stops. My breath runs free for the first time in who knows how long.

"
What are we going to do?
"
Kira asks. I take Travis from her
,
and put him in my truck. He passes out the second he hits the seat.

"
I can
'
t bring him home. His mom will freak.
"

"
What about me? Can someone bring me home?
"
Patrice asks.

"
Shit.
"
I
lean
against my truck. One night. We
'
d wanted one night with nothing bad and this is what we get.
"
I don
'
t know if I can sneak him in my house
,
either
."
And I
'
m scared. What if Mom catches us? Smells the alcohol. She
'
s been so good. What if it lures her? Makes her want it again?

"
Lana
'
s at work tonight. She went in after the dance. We can bring him to my house.
"

My eyes catch hers.
"
No. No way. You shouldn
'
t have to deal with him.
"

"
I really need to get home
,"
Patrice breaks in again.

"
Then you should have thought of that before you guys got trashed,” Kira says. Then to me, “
Carter
,
it
'
s okay. We don
'
t really have much of a choice.
"

She
'
s right. I know it
,
but I hate it
,
too.
"
Here.
"
I reach into the bag
,
pulling Travis
'
s keys out of his suit.
"
Can you take Patrice home? Then meet me at your house? We can talk there.
"

Kira nods her head and turns to walk away
,
but I pull her to me instead. My hand cups her cheek. My forehead touching hers.
"
Thanks
."

"
It
'
ll be fine. Everything will be fine
,"
she tells me
,
and then she and Patrice are gone.

Chapter Sixteen

Travis is passed out in Kira
'
s bed.
In her bed.
I
'
ve never even been in it and though I know this is a screwed up situation
,
that I would never want to be in her bed
like drunk off my ass
,
I
'
m jealous. So angry that I want to wake up my best friend just to kick his ass. To knock some sense into him.

"
I don
'
t want to leave him with you
.
It doesn
'
t feel right. It
'
s not your responsibility
,
but I
'
m pretty sure I can
'
t stay out all night. Mom will never believe me if I tell her I
'
m going to Travis
'
s tonight.
"
Not after our conversation this afternoon.

"
It
'
s not your responsibility
,
either.
"
Her hair is down now. She
'
s wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of sweats
,
home early from our dance. Nice.
"
Nothing
'
s going to happen. He
'
s asleep. He
'
ll stay asleep. I
'
ll watch him. Hide him when Lana gets home
,
and kick his hung
-
over ass out when she takes her nap. It
'
ll be
fine
,"
she says again.

I turn away from her
,
leaning my hands on her desk. I see Travis
'
s reflection in the mirror in front of me. I
'
m pissed at myself. Pissed at Travis. Mom
,
Grandpa. Dad for dying. I
'
m pissed at everyone right now. Kira steps up behind me
,
her darker arms wrapping around me from behind. Now it
'
s only our reflection I see. Her eyes. Her smooth
,
brown skin
,
blending and mixing with mine as she twines herself around me.
"
Oh! I have an idea.
"

I can
'
t help it. I chuckle. How is it she always has an idea. That she can always sound so excited about whatever it is.
"
What
'
s that?
"

"
I used to have this best friend in LA. Her name was Misty. Whenever we wanted to hang out
,
but couldn
'
t
,
we
'
d have phone slumber parties.
"

"
Huh?
"
Texting I
'
m good with. I used to hate it when Mel would keep me on the phone for hours and a phone slumber party sounds awful girly.

"
Don
'
t look at me like that!
"
She swats me.
"
It
'
s fun. Call me when you get home and we can talk all night. Talk till one of us falls asleep and it
'
ll be just like we
'
re together.
"

"
Okay
,"
I hear myself say
,
and amazingly
,
I don
'
t hate the idea of talking to her on the phone all night. I look around her room again. There
'
s
neon
green
,
round chair under the window. Flowers painted on the walls. Flowers I
'
m pretty sure she drew and painted herself. It
'
s
so
her.

"
Thank you. You
'
re
..."

"
Awesome
,"
she answers for me.
"
I know.
"

I make my way home as fast as I can. The lights are off
,
which doesn
'
t surprise me. I keep them off as I make my way up the stairs
,
Sara
'
s hall nightlight makes it so I can see. Her door is cracked open so I peek in. Mom is in bed with her. Sara must have had one of her nightmares. It
'
s the only time Mom sleeps with her.

"
Hey
,"
she whispers
,
looking at me from Sara
'
s bed. Both eyes take me in. Not one
,
trying to even her vision. Her voice sounds normal and some of the nausea leaves me. I didn
'
t realize I was freaked she
'
d be drinking again until I see that she isn
'
t.

"
Hey.
"

"
Did you have fun?
"
Mom asks.

No
.
"
Yeah.
"

"
Good. I
'
m glad. You deserve it. I want to hear all about it in the morning
,
okay?
"

I nod
,
even though the words
,
'
not likely
'
are swimming in my head.
"
Night
,
Ma. I love you.
"

"
I love you too
,
Carter.
"

I pull the door closed and then head for my room
,
before stopping. I don
'
t know what makes me do it. Why I can
'
t just leave stuff alone
,
but after one quick glance to make sure Sara
'
s door is closed
,
I slip into Mom
'
s room. My feet carry me straight to the closet. To the box
,
where I lift my baby blankets. A bottle sits inside. It
'
s closed. Never been open and full
,
but it
'
s still
here
. My hands itch to pick it up. To slam it against the wall and break it. Instead
,
I slip it back
,
close the door and go back to my room. I should take it. I don
'
t know why I don
'
t. It
'
s like I can
'
t make myself go there. I can
'
t grow the hell up
and do what needs to be done.