Freeing Carter (33 page)

After practice
,
it takes a real Houdini act to dodge Mel
,
who is waiting for me
,
the way I used to wait for her after practice
,
but I manage. By the time I get to the store
,
I
'
m exhausted
,
knowing there are hours of work ahead of me.

"
Truth or dare?
"
Kira whispers to me when I fall into the chair by the register.

I look up at her
,
wondering how she knew.
"
Truth
.
I
'
m stressed out about English. I have a lot to do and it takes me forever to do it.
"
My eyes won
'
t stay on her
,
hating what I admitted.

"
But you want to? Do it
,
I mean?
"

"
Yeah. I don
'
t want to fail. And I
'
ve managed it before
,
but
..."

Kira shrugs.
"
Then you
'
ll do it again. I know you can
,
Coach. You teach me more basketball
,
I
'
ll help you with English.
"

I
'
d wanted this on my terms
,
and somehow she gave it to me
,
without my even having to ask.

Chapter Fourteen

As the next couple weeks go by
,
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Mrs. Z to tell me the work I
'
ve turned in isn
'
t good enough. Waiting for us to somehow lose a game
,
which we haven
'
t. Undefeated so far and with the way I
'
m playing
,
I
'
m pretty sure that
'
s not what
'
s going to go wrong.

So what will it be? Will Kira suddenly start spazzing out like Mel did? Turning into a girl with multiple personalities who
'
s never happy with what I do? Nah
,
I
'
m pretty sure
that isn't
what
'
s going to happen. She
'
s awesome. She
'
s the only person who makes me feel like talking. Who makes me feel the way I always tried to pretend I felt. With her
,
it
'
s not an act. I don
'
t have to lie. Plus
,
she
'
s smokin
'
hot.

So then that leaves Mom. Will she be the one to
bring everything crashing
down on me again? Because right now
,
things are perfect
.
I look in her eyes when she wakes up
,
study her voice on the phone
,
rummage through all the stock rooms at the store. I
'
ve even looked in her closet. Nothing. Does that mean she hasn
'
t had a drink since the day she woke up so sick? In my chest
,
it feels like she hasn
'
t. Like she realizes how bad it was and is now better. That she
'
ll never pick up a bottle again because she knows what it does to us. What it could do to Sara and she
'
s decided that
'
s more important.

My head is another story though. Last time
,
she told me it wouldn
'
t happen again and I believed her.
L
ook how that turned out
.
This time
,
she didn
'
t even tell me. There were no promises. Just nothing. Just
...
suddenly sober.

But for how long?

"
Mr. Shaw
,"
Mrs. Z
'
s voice rips me away from where I just went.
"
And here I thought you weren
'
t falling asleep in my class anymore.
"

I look over at Kira
,
trying to give her the eye that says she should have saved me
,
but she smirks
,
winks
,
and walks out of the room with everyone else. Traitor.

"
You have a minute?
"

Yeah
.
Like
I can say no to a teacher.
"
Absolutely.
"
Really I want to tell her no because she
'
s about to make my nightmares come true.

She sits on the edge of her desk and I stand in front of her.
"
I just want to let you know I
'
m proud of you. You
'
ve done a great job these past weeks. You
'
re bringing your grade up nicely and you
'
re caught up. Keep up the good work
,
Mr. Shaw.
"

"
Excuse me?
"
Totally not what I expected her to say.

"
You heard me
.
And I want to let you know again
,
that I
'
m always here to talk.
I
f you
'
re having trouble with your work or anything.
"

She knows. Mrs. Z knows. I think about backpedaling. Telling her I don
'
t need help and never will
,
but then I remember how it felt with Kira. Not lying and something makes me open my mouth and do it again.
"
I
'
m doing okay
.
I just
...
have to go slow
,
ya
know? Sometimes it
'
s confusing and gets a little jumbled in my head
,
but if I take it slow
,
I can work it out.
"

Some of the weight falls off my shoulders
,
my chest
,
with each of the words.

"
That
'
s understandable. Especially with Shakespeare. He
'
s not very easy to understand. Please come to me if you need help. My door is always open to you
,
Carter. You
'
re a smart boy. I know that. I just want to see you shine.
"

Her words find something inside me that I didn
'
t know was there.
"
Thanks
,
Mrs. Z. I
'
m working on it.
"

"
You
'
ll get there. I have no doubt about it.
"

Not gonna lie. There
'
s totally an extra spring in my step when I walk out of the class. It
'
s magnified when I see Kira waiting outside the room for me.
"
Thanks for having my back
,"
I tease.
"
Aren
'
t you supposed to be keeping me awake?
"

She hooks her arm through mine as we start walking to art.
"
Nope. You
'
re all grown up now. You can handle it yourself.
"

"
Aww
,
thanks
,
Mom. Shit
...
forget I called you that because then I couldn
'
t do this.
"
I stop walking
,
hook my fingers in her belt loops and pull her toward me until there
'
s no space between us and I
'
m leaning against the locker. My hands then find their home on her hips as I let my mouth skim over hers. I kiss the side of her mouth
,
the other side and then part her lips with my tongue. Kira
'
s arms wrap around my neck
,
her hands thread through my hair. She tugs a little making it sting in a good way.

All too soon the bells ringing and the kiss is over. We
'
re obviously late
,
but I don
'
t think either of us cares.

Ruffling my hair again
,
Kira says
,
"
I love it when your hair looks all messy like you just rolled out of bed.
"

This time
,
I don
'
t let myself think about what could go wrong because maybe this time
,
it won
'
t. Maybe everything is finally getting better. Actually
,
it couldn
'
t get any better. Maybe now it
'
s just staying there.

***

The second I walk into the house
,
I know something is wrong. The scent I hate doesn
'
t cling to the air. Nothing looks different
,
but I somehow know
.
My feet feel heavy as I force them to move forward.
"
M
om
?
"
I call as I walk through the house.

Barney is playing in the family room
,
so I know Sara is here and fine
,
but my heart is still running a marathon and my muscles
are
tight.

"
Mom?
"

I hear a sniffling sound before Mom says
,
"
In here
,
Carter.
"

As I round the corner into the living room and see her eyes red
,
everything inside me shifts. The fear and worry for her
,
for her drinking
,
is still there
,
but anger
,
too. Anger for who or whatever hurt her.
"
What
'
s wrong?
"
My voice isn
'
t quite as calm as I try for.

"
It
'
s your grandpa.
"
With shaky hands
,
she wipes her eyes.
"
I don
'
t know why I expect him to change. Why I keep thinking things will get better with him.
"

Probably for the same reason I believe things will get better with you
...
My thoughts annoy me.
Mom isn't
like him. Yes
,
she has a problem
,
but she
'
s never mean. She
'
d never hurt us the way he hurt her. And besides
,
things
are
better for her now. She has stopped. Hopefully
,
he hasn
'
t changed that.

"
He
'
s a jerk. I hate him. What did he do to you?
"
I
'
m pacing the room
,
knowing I should sit next to her
,
knowing I should be comforting her
,
but I can
'
t.

Mom sighs.
"
Don
'
t say you hate him. No matter what he
'
s still your grandfather.
"