For3ver (5 page)

  "Thanks, Liam. I should go." She forced a smiled at me before jogging over to Gage's command. 

Shit. I shouldn't have done that. Ryley was going to understand the meaning behind it all. I had possibly just ruined our friendship and my relationship with my brother if he found out. 

I pulled the track list out of my pocket, thankful I didn't give to her. Maybe she'd never even listen to the CD. I knew that wouldn't happen. Ryley always listened to music. I read the list over that was scribbled in my messy handwriting. 

1.)
Light years- Morgan Page 

2.)
Lullabies- Yuna 

3.)
She Said- Plan B
 

4.)
Stay- Rihanna 

5.)
Am I wrong- Envy
 

6.)
Titanium- David Guetta
 

7.)
I Miss You- Blink 182 

8.)
Boyfriend- Justin Bieber
 

9.)
You're Beautiful- James blunt
 

10.)
The Worst- Jhene Aiko 

11.)
Say Something- A Great Big World/Christina Aguilera 

Maybe she'd just appreciate that I knew her favorite songs.... Maybe. 

RYLEY

Something told me to try and hide the CD from Gage, but I didn't have the chance to before he noticed it. 

  "The hell is that?" He frowned at the disc in my hand. 

  "Nothin'. Liam's just tired of me stealing his music I guess." I shrugged and pushed past him into his house.

I didn't know what we were doing that day, but it didn't matter. All I wanted to do was get home and listen to the CD, to hear what Liam really thought. Music was always my way of escaping, and knowing Liam, there was something on that CD that meant a lot to him. Gage grumbled something behind me and headed down to the basement. 

  "Ryley, so nice to see you this morning! You look lovely!" Grandma Faith announced. Every time I saw her, she looked little more worn down, maybe it was because her daughter didn't come around and her grandkids were practically ready to leave the house too. 

  "Thank you Gram." I smiled. 

  "Ryley! Downstairs! NOW!" Gage yelled from the basement.

So much for a nice conversation. Gram gave me a soft smile and patted my shoulder. 

  "You mean the world to those two boys. Remember that," she said, and then shuffled into the kitchen for more coffee. 

Deciding to grab a cup of coffee before heading down, I followed her and started getting my cup ready. As soon as I began to pour the steaming liquid into my cup his voice bellowed from the basement with a growl. 

  "Dammit, Ryley, get down here!" It shook me so much that he would yell at me like that, especially in front of his grandma, that I knocked my cup and coffee went all over the counter. 

  "Shoot! I'm sorry Gram. Let me—" 

  "Nonsense. Go on down, Ryley." She dried the outside of my cup and handed it to me. 

I thought about just going home. I was tired and Gage was obviously not in the best mood, but doing that would make him in an even worse mood. Those last few weeks, he had been in an increasingly bad mood. The compliments had stopped, the smiles stopped, hell, even the sex stopped.

Making it downstairs, I put the CD on the table and walked over to sit on the couch by Gage. Half asleep, he didn't even look at me while he stared at the TV, watching wrestling.

  "What time'd you get in?" I asked, trying not to make him even angrier. 

  "Late. Nick had to bring me home. Crashed on the couch down here till just a little bit ago." 

  "Oh." Was all I could say. He looked like he had been up all night drinking. Red eyes, irritated temper. "Well, I can go so you can get some rest." 

  "Nah, I got work to do for Gram in a little bit. Old woman can't do anything for herself anymore," he huffed and got up from the couch. 

I saw him stop as soon as he passed the table, then back up like something caught his attention. He turned and smiled. 

  "This a love CD or something, Ry?" he sneered. 

  "What?" Why was my heart starting to beat faster? 

  "This dumb CD my brother gave you. What's really on it?" he wondered out loud as he walked over to the CD player. I stood to grab it from him, but he put his arm out stopping me, then gave me a questionable look. "Let's take a listen." His smile was evil, just evil. Who was this guy? 

  "Gage, you look tired. Why don't you grab some rest. I'm sure Gram will understand if you don't get started right away." 

  "Sit!" he ordered. I obeyed, not understanding why. 

Gage put the CD in and pressed 'play'. He stood back and folded his arms across his chest while his eyes bored into mine. He was well built, muscles shaping the sleeves of his shirt, and with that look on his face he seemed menacing. 

The first song, Light Years, was my absolute favorite song. I used to try and make Liam listen to it nonstop, but he always made fun of me. This wasn't on any of the CDs he kept in the car. Gage recognized this and cocked his head while glaring at me. 

  "Interesting," he muttered. 

Clicking through the songs, Gage's demeanor got more and more tense and I became more and more ready to leave. Leave and find Liam and ask him what this was all about. Maybe he made this for his girlfriend of the month and just got our CDs mixed up. By the time 'Say Something' blasted through the speakers, Gage had enough. Turning the player off, he turned to me with the most sinister look on his face. 

  "You fuckin' my brother?" he growled. My heart was hammering in my chest; I didn't know why I was so nervous. 

  "What? No!" I practically yelled as I hopped up from the couch. 

  "Bull. None of those songs are songs he has in the car, Ry." He walked towards me and I got a terrible feeling this was going nowhere good, and fast. Gage's temper was something I never wanted to mess with. 

  "He had to get it mixed up. Let me just take it back to him and get the correct one." I tried grabbing the CD but his grip made it to my forearm first. Squeezing hard, he stared into my eyes. The eyes that I grew up with, the ones I thought I might be learning to love as much as I loved his brother's had changed into something awful. 

  "You won't go see him, got it?" His grip kept getting tighter and tighter until I couldn't take it. 

  "You are hurting me, Gage," I whispered, willing myself not to cry in front of him. 

He looked down at his hand then back at me, his face turning into an even meaner sneer. 

  "What the hell is this, Ryley?" he ground out, tightening his grip on my arm to almost unbearable as he eyed my bracelet. Our bracelet. The bracelet that Liam and I made together.

I tried pulling my arm away for fear that he was going to break it, but he just held tighter. 

  "This." He yanked with his other hand and the bracelet went flying across the room. "Piece of shit kiddie bracelet," he growled. 

I tried holding my tears in; I tried not letting him see how much he just ripped my world apart. That bracelet was the only thing I had left of my childhood, one that was rapidly dissolving into distant memories. I couldn't hold them in anymore. Gage, the boy next door that I always loved in some way, just ruined everything. 

As if something snapped in his mind to tell him what he was doing was wrong, he let go and stepped back. He looked surprised at himself, at me. 

  "Ry, oh my God. I—" He started stuttering. 

  "I need to go," I said as I grabbed the CD and ran upstairs.

I was pretty sure Gram yelled for me, but I didn't wait. I ran as fast as I could across our yards and to my car. I didn't want my mom or dad to see me like that, so I couldn't go inside, but I had to listen to those songs again. 

I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway, driving around the pond behind Liam's house and parking in the spot my dad used to park when we went fishing. No one would've been able to see my car from there, which meant no one would've been able to see the tears. I slid the CD into the player and waited for it to start up. I knew what to expect from the songs, but I still cried. Liam meant this CD for me, but it wasn't right. I was with his brother. I was happy with his brother. Right? 

Liam shouldn't have given me the CD, even if it was just because we were 'friends'. Gage must have had way too much to drink the night before to react that way to me. He had never done that before. Why were things so difficult with those two? Maybe I should have just stepped out of their lives before I ruined their relationship with each other, but giving up my boyfriend and my best friend was scary. 

The music played on and on, filling my car with songs that a man would put together for the woman he painfully loved. By the end, I was in full blown tears, blubbering like a baby in my car. A knock on the passenger window startled me and I wiped at my face furiously to get the tears away. 

Liam stood there, hands in his pockets, waiting for me to say something. I turned the music down and reached over to unlock the door. He slid in and shut the door, looking at the water in front of us rather than at me. 

  "I'm sorry, Ry," he whispered. 

  "Why'd you do it, Liam? What is this anyway?"

He had to have known what I was talking about, even after all the years apart, I knew there was something between us. Maybe it was just young love, maybe it was just because he was my first love, but there was still something. I was taken, though, so for him to express it now, after Gage and I had been together almost a year, was just unfair. It pissed me off, too, that I still held hope that Liam and I would get our happily ever after, just like I'd pretend when I was a little girl, because I knew that wasn't going to happen anymore.

  "I was pissed at Gage for treating you like he did last night. I just.... I wanted to cheer you up." He sighed. 

  "Well, it pissed Gage off." 

  "He listened to it?"  

  "Yea, forced me to let him listen to it." I didn't want to tell him about my arm, or about what Gage told me. It was only a matter of time before the bruises from Gage's fingertips darkened on my arm and I didn't think I could stay away from Liam if I tried, so he'd probably see them eventually. 

  "Hell, Ry. I didn't mean anything by it. I promise. I just know you like those songs so I put them on a CD for you. Promise." He looked me in my eyes and the honesty from his words hurt more than everything Gage had done to me.

He didn't mean anything by them. Why would I have been so stupid to think otherwise, though? Gage was his brother and Liam was a good guy. He wouldn't do that to his brother. 

  "Listen, when Gage came home this morning I was already pissed that he left you alone last night, but I was going to forgive him because I figured he slept at your house. When I found out he slept over at Nick's place, I was furious. So, I decided that no matter what, I was giving this CD to you. I know Gage can be territorial, but I just felt... guilty." He tried explaining more, but my mind was stuck on one thing. 

  "You said he slept at Nick's?" I whispered, fearing the worst part of the day had not yet passed. 

  "Yea, why? He didn't tell you?" His eyebrows were pulled together. 

  "No, he told me Nick brought him home last night." I couldn't quite wrap my mind around why Gage would feel the need to lie about that; he was always crashing at his friends' houses. 

Liam looked at the water for a beat longer, and then shook his head. 

  "Shit. I'm sorry, Ryley. For everything today. I'll leave you to figure that out with Gage. You two need to talk."

Opening the door, he turned to look at me once more like he was going to say something else. Instead, he shook his head, got out and left me in my car alone with hundreds of questions. 

The only way to know what really happened was to talk to Gage and I knew it, but something inside me was scared. This was one of my best friends. I had known him since childhood, been neighbors with him my entire life. I knew he had a hard upbringing, but I thought he was getting it together. Gage always held everything in, though, so maybe he was just a really good actor. 

I drove home, parking in my driveway and leaving the CD in my car. Walking across the lawn, I saw Gram out back watering some of her hanging flowers. She smiled and waved, so I did too, then I went in to find Gage. The house was silent expect for the TV noise from downstairs, so I headed down, hoping to find him there. He was there and completely passed out on the couch, snoring louder than I had ever heard him snore. 

  "Gage," I said, kicking his foot that was hanging off of the couch. He grumbled something and rolled over, pressing his face into the couch cushion. "Gage!" I said louder, pushing his back. Nothing. I heard his phone go off in his pocket a few times and pulled it out to see who was blowing up his phone. 

SARA: Hey babe. FUN nite last nite ;) MISS U-XOXO 

SARA: GAGE PORTER did u steal my underwear! LOL! Don't let ur prude G/F find them. Actually. Do let her find them!