Fire In His Eyes (8 page)

“Yeah, I’
m good,” I whispered as I gently began to scratch his back in circular motions.

“Mmm, that feels nice.  Keep doing that
.”  He whispered as he flicked the remote to bypass the upcoming attractions.  He pressed play and the movie credits began to appear.  “I really am sorry, Monica.  I feel bad.  I had a rough day, and know you probably hoped for me to be more entertaining.  But I just can’t.  I have a lot on my mind, and it is nothing I can talk about with you yet, okay?”

“Sure, Victor
,” I said.  “We all have bad days.  No problem.”  He sounded so sad that my heart went out to him.  I hoped he would feel better and maybe more comfortable around me, maybe even willing to confide in me, someday.  But, he had told me this morning there would be no promises.  Our days might me very limited, and that someday would probably never come.  I continued to brood over that as I continued absently scratching his back.

“Mmm,
so relaxing,” he muttered again.  “Just keep doing that, okay?”

“Okay,” I muttered.  He fell asleep with me scratching
and running my fingers across his back within fifteen minutes.  I tried to concentrate and enjoy the movie, but my mind was racing ahead of me until I was so lost I couldn’t even follow the story line. So instead of watching the movie I just lay my head back and closed my eyes.  After a little bit or so, I found myself getting sleepy; and I, too, began to doze off.

I
didn’t know what time it was when I heard a click and glanced towards the door.  I saw the knob turning and knew instinctively that it must be his roommate.  A woman, very tall, older, maybe in her late thirties or early forties, and little bit on the husky size with short sandy brown hair came in through the door.

“Hi,” she whispered.  “I’m Kat, and you must be Monica. He
’s sleeping?” she inquired indicating Victor.

“Yes, he is,” I whispered back. 
“He was exhausted.”

She came over to us and looked down at him.  “Well, we better get him to bed.”  She began to gently shake his shoulder.  “Come on, boy, time for bed,” she whispered.

Victor sleepily opened one eye. “Kat?” he muttered. “I had a bad day.”

“I know
, big boy, I know.  Come on, Vic, Mon and I will get you to bed.”  She automatically shortened my name like my sister did, and from the way she handled Victor I could tell she was very nurturing.  I instinctively knew I would like her.

“Monica?”  he turned
as if he were surprised to see me and began to sit up.  I got up and held on to one side of him, with Kat on the other and together steered him towards his room.  He unfastened his jeans, and she pulled them down until he sat on the side of his bed, and then she pulled them the rest of the way off one leg at a time.

She began to make her way towards the exit. I laughed softly, and said, “It seems like you have done this before.”

“A time or two,” she nodded.  “And don’t worry about me, Mon.  I am like the Mom around here for these lost boys,” she whispered.  “Goodnight, we’ll get to know each other in the morning.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Good night
, Kat.”  She seemed pretty cool.

The door clicked
shut, softly.  Victor was already lying down on his side of the mattress, and he must have taken off his t-shirt when I was talking to Kat.  “Wear my shirt and come here so I can hold you.  I quickly got up and stripped out of my white t-shirt and black capris. I took off my lacy blue bra, but left the matching panties on.  He sleepily muttered with one eye open, “Nice.”  I took his t-shirt and pulled it over my head and scrambled in next to him in the middle of the bed wiggling my rear into him so that we were spooning.  It felt nice to by lying with him like that.  Dan had never slept over, and neither had I at his place.

“You
r shirt smells good, like you.”  And, it did.  I clutched a handful and brought it to my nose inhaling his scent.  His maleness, woodsy and spicy was intoxicating.

“So, do you,” he whispered in my hair. “It’s nice to have someone to hold on to at night, again.”  And, with that he fell back to sleep softly snoring.
  He had said that I had been the first woman he had wanted to be with in a long while more than once.  I held onto that.  I had a little glimmer of hope.  Just a little.

It took me awhile to relax
, although I was very comfortable lying there in Victor’s arms, again a million thoughts raced through my mind.  It took me awhile to fall asleep with Victor’s steady breathing in my ear, but eventually I did.

He was up before me the next morning.  I heard him in the kitchen talking to someone, probably Kat.  The smell of coffee and eggs probably woke me.  I quickly got up, and pulled on my capris from the night before, but left his t-shirt on.  I
hastily went to the bathroom; I finger brushed my hair, and brushed my teeth after retrieving my tooth brush from my bag on the floor.

After that, I peeked out of the bedroom door
anxious to see him, and both Victor and Kat turned towards the sound of the door opening.

“Morning
, sleepy head.  It’s after nine,” Victor teased. He was at the stove stirring a steaming pan of eggs.  He cooked, too.

Kat laughed.  She was sitting at the table in a long nightgown, sipping a cup of coffee.  “Yeah, Victor has already run ten miles, showered, and made us
breakfast at this ungodly hour.” Her murmur of displeasure made it sound that this was a common occurrence.

I laughed and joined her at the table.  “Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

“Not a thing, Mi Cara.  Eat and enjoy!”  He placed a plate of scrambled eggs with a bit of cheese before me, and a cup of coffee.  He was a in a much better mood this morning and seemed very refreshed.  He placed a light kiss on the top of my head and then returned to the kitchen island to grab some plates for him and Kat then joined us at the table.  We ate, and I enjoyed the teasing motherly-son banter between the two.

I learned that Kat was divorced, and forty five. 
She had grown up in the military, joined the military and had two grown children in Ohio where her ex lived.  Military life was all she knew.  She worked at MacDill Air Force Base in shipping and receiving and loved her job, and county.  She was a gung-ho patriot. Victor, when in the military had been in charge of fitness, and did PT with the troops to ensure they were in top physical form and able to meet the physical fitness qualifications of the job.  “Yeah, for one month out of the year, I would let him boss me around and scream at me, at what a lazy fat ass I was, but the rest of the year, I do the bossing around,” she teased.

“That’s right,
Sergeant!”  Victor laughed, but made the statement with respect and gave her a mock salute.  I did not now about military ranks, but felt somehow that she must have out ranked him when he had been in the military.

As we finished breakfast V
ictor announced to Kat that he was going to take me canoeing in Pinellas Park this morning.  We would join her and some of his other friends that lived in the complex all later for the pool party they were having around three. It was a surprise to me as he had not even mentioned these plans to me, but it would be nice to have a little alone time with him this morning, I thought.

“Okay,
well, I will clean up, since you cooked, and you both go on ahead,” Kat stated as she began to clear the dishes from the table.

Victor took my hand, and we went back into the bedroom.  “We will shower when we come back, Monica,
Is that okay?” He was now in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

“Sure,”
I muttered, as I quickly pulled my blue panties down, and then pulled on a pair of fresh white ones.  I had brought two pairs of shorts.  I selected the denim for canoeing instead of the white ones.  Hurrying, because the water was now off, I turned and pulled off his t-shirt, and slipped into my bra, and to go with the denim I chose a pale pink t-shirt with the American Idol insignia on it.  I was still a fan of the show despite all of the changes in judges and format.

He came out of the bathr
oom and saw what I wore.  “Cute.  You like reality TV?”

I blushed, “Yeah, my one guilty pleasure.”

“You will have plenty of guilty pleasures before I am done with you,” he smirked with that crooked grin.  And the fire in his ice blue eyes was back, which I was very happy to see.

“Have you ever been
canoeing?” he asked as he gathered items from his dresser to put in his pockets.  He also took a small framed photograph and put it frame face down, I noticed.  I had not seen it last night as it had been dark in the room last night and we had not put on the lights.  Earlier, I had been in too much of a hurry to get out and join Victor and Kat for breakfast that I hadn’t scoped out my surroundings either.  I did notice that there were not a lot of personal possessions in the room, though. He also had several boxes in the corner that he had yet to unpack.

“Lots of times, actually. 
I am a farm and wilderness girl.  Grew up in a village in Maine, spent my summers fishing, camping and hiking.  My dad loved the outdoors, and so do I,” I informed him as thoughts of the photo slipped from my mind.

“Really,
awesome!  A farm girl.  Mmmm,” he teased, looking at me through the reflection in the mirror, and then giving me a bit of his own history.  “I grew up just over the bridge in Clearwater.  My parents are Italian.  They were from New York originally, obviously.”  He pointed at himself.  “They retired here, when I was . . . hmm, fourteen, I think.  So I am a city boy, but I love the great outdoors and Florida.”  He fastened his watch on, and turned back to me.  “Ready to go?” I nodded.  He looked pleased.  I was too. We had our obvious differences, but we had a great deal in common as well.

The ride to Pinellas Park was about thirty minutes
from his apartment complex.  On the way there he was quiet at first, but eventually he started to quiz me on the music and the artists.  Of course, I reminded him that I was horrible with names, artists, and song titles.  He laughed and said what do you call your students, “Hey, You?”

“Sometimes,”
I said with a straight face, then I laughed also.

We parked and made our way to the rental hut. 
It was a rough structure made to look like a large tiki hut. He rented a canoe for the two of us and handed me a paddle and a lightweight life jacket as park policy required we wear them.  For about ten minutes, we paddled in silence enjoying the fresh air and the bountiful flora and fauna around us. 

“Monica, I don’t want to ruin the mood, but I want to be
as honest as I can with you, ok?  Those things I told you the other morning I meant.”

My heart hammered into my chest.  This was the only man I had ever b
een excited about, but he kept warning me off. “Okay,” I said hesitantly and I waited for him to continue.

“My
life is complicated.  I have a lot going on with switching careers, seeing what direction my life is going to take.  I am still in the reserves, so one weekend a month it is all about that.  Two weekends a month I have family obligations, and it’s all about them.  I don’t have time for a full time relationship.  There are things going on that I don’t want to talk about with you.  I am busy right now with trying to start up this new business.  I can tell already, you are a good girl, who deserves someone who will put you first, but I just can’t do that right now, if ever.  I can give you one weekend a month maybe, and one or two nights a week.”  When I didn’t respond right away, he continued. “Look, you can even see other people if you like?”  Then he waited.

Other pe
ople?  I only met him four days ago, but instinctively knew no one could compare. It just wasn’t in me to juggle two guys at once. I also didn’t want to be just a casual occasional sexual encounter. Again, I wondered why he was pushing me away. I chose my words carefully.

“Victor, I like you, a lot,” I emphasized.
I am willing to take what you can give me for now.  I like my life; it is simple and not complicated.  I am not interested in seeing two guys at the same time, ever.  It is just not who I am.  Can’t we just enjoy the time we have together when we are together and worry about the rest later. If it’s because you want to see other girls when you are not with me then. . .” I lowered my gaze and left the thought unfinished.  It bothered me too much to think about it at the moment.

His smile was like diamonds.  “
No, Monica that’s not it at all.   Please believe me when I tell you it’s not that.  I don’t have time for one relationship, let alone two.  Please don’t think that.  I just don’t want to be unfair to you.  But, I was hoping you would say something like that.  I don’t like to share, but I can’t commit.  I just wanted to give you the opportunity so you weren’t waiting around for me all the time.  I can’t do dates, work stuff, family gatherings.  I’ve already explained I can do one weekend a month, and maybe one or two nights a week.  Don’t fall in love with me.  I’m pretty busy. I don’t want entanglements, arguments, or drama because you’re home twiddling your thumbs for three weekends a month resenting me.  I just want to draw the line in the sand.  This is all I can offer.  If you’re sure that you can handle this, then I am game.”  He pulled the boat to shore, and then carefully stood to cross the boat to sit beside me.  I was feeling a little lost at the moment.  He cautiously placed his hands on my face and whispered, “You are so beautiful, Monica.”  Then he kissed me for the first time that morning.  In the warm spring breeze it helped to melt some of the ice that had formed around my heart at his words.  It was soft, and tentative, not rushed or demanding like the others we had shared.  When it ended, he gazed into my eyes, and asked me one more time, “Are you sure?”