Finding the Center Within: The Healing Way of Mindfulness Meditation. (17 page)
Read Finding the Center Within: The Healing Way of Mindfulness Meditation. Online
Authors: Thomas Bien
Things to Do on a Day of Mindfulness
•
When you wake up in the morning, breathe and smile. Create a gatha to use that sums up your intention for the day, such as
“Dwelling happily in things as they are.”
•
Slow down. Do everything at half speed.
•
Spend more time than usual in sitting and walking meditation.
•
Intersperse brief periods of mindful breathing throughout the day.
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Linger over your coffee or tea, enjoying each sip.
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Enjoy a deliciously warm shower or bath.
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Eat meals slowly and in silence. Enjoy every bite.
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Read inspirational literature or scripture that deepens your mindfulness practice.
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Write out favorite passages from inspirational literature, taking your time, breathing mindfully.
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Do things you might normally do, such as cleaning your house or weeding the garden, but do so without rushing, without trying to get it done. (If this is hard, practice by intentionally leaving things not quite finished until you can do this more easily.)
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Listen to beautiful music.
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Write a letter to a friend. Breathe in and out as you do so, seeing your friend’s face, sensing your connection.
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Attend a worship service or meditation group.
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Sit outside and be aware of the fresh air, the blue sky, the trees, and the flowers.
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Visit a beautiful place. Take a walk there or eat lunch there.
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Have a conversation with a friend in which you practice mindful speaking and listening.
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Be mindful of all little human activities, like brushing your teeth and using the toilet. Do them in a spirit of grace and ease.
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Breathe in and out at red traffic lights, when the phone rings, when the timer sounds. Gently refuse to be pushed around by such things.
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Practice doing one thing at a time (instead of putting the coffee on while the computer boots up, for example).
Connect with Your Tradition
If you wish to connect mindfulness practice with your religious heritage, connections are not hard to find. Mindfulness is found in some form in all religious traditions, but it is not always emphasized in the same way. From the Jewish tradition for example, we have already quoted the Psalmist on rejoicing in the day God has made. We could point out, as well, that following all 613
mitzvoth
(good deeds) requires mindfulness. You have to be aware and present in order to follow these in a conscientious way.
In Christian teaching, Jesus makes it quite clear that we should come into the present, what the theologian Paul Tillich called the “Eternal Now.” In the Sermon on the Mount, he said, “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.” The Christian monk Brother Lawrence and many others taught the “practice of the presence of God,” which teaches that God is to be encountered in the here and now. The modern mystic Frank Laubach, known for his promotion of literacy, describes his own practice of the presence of God. After 04 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:50 AM Page 100
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quoting a favorite hymn about abiding each moment in God, he concludes, “It is exactly this ‘moment by moment,’ every waking moment, surrender, responsiveness, obedience, sensitiveness, pliability, ‘lost in his love,’ that I now have the mind-bent to explore with all my might.”
Whatever your religious heritage, there are many points of contact for bringing meditation practice into your life, once you look for them. Not What It Seems
Mindfulness is a powerful inoculation against the pressures and toxicities of modern life. Just as it is important to practice meditation joyfully, and not with a sense of heaviness or duty, so it is also with daily life meditation. Use these devices with a light spirit. If a sense of heaviness or compulsion enters any element of the practice, then try it differently, approach it with a different attitude, or do something else. You are just learning, as the Buddha taught, to dwell happily in things as they are, not trying to change anything, not even trying to change or reform yourself.
We live in a world where theoretical physicists discuss time travel, parallel universes that interact with our own, and whether the space in the atom is truly empty or is filled with something like bubbles called quantum foam. Even by starting with the materialistic assumptions of modern science, and then looking deeply into the world, things are not at all what they seem. If matter is not what it seems, what then is human life? Such disconcerting questions can be frightening. But they can also teach us to relax a little more, giving up the ideas and categories with which we habitually view life, and come to a deeper vision. Practice for Week Five
1. Increase your meditation now to fifteen minutes twice a day. 2. Continue to practice a few minutes of inspirational reading each day—in the morning if possible.
3. Add a second moment of mindfulness (p. 42).
4. Practice walking meditation at least once or twice this week. 5. Try the exercises and suggestions in this chapter:
• Visualize slowing down (p. 85)
• Practice radical medicine (p. 85)
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• Practice
wu-wei
(p. 85)
• “Begin and End the Day Intentionally” (p. 87)
• “Find Bells of Mindfulness” (p. 88)
• “Ask: Where Am I? What Am I Doing?” (p. 90)
• “Allocate Attention to Centering” (p. 90)
• “Cultivate a Balanced Lifestyle” (p. 92)
• “Examine Your Environment” (p. 92)
• “Let Your Peace Return to You” (p. 93)
• “Stay in Charge of the Task” (p. 94)
6. Practice a day of mindfulness (or at least a part of a day) (p. 96). 04 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:50 AM Page 102
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5
Week Six
o
At the level of the ego, we struggle to solve our problems. Spirit sees that struggle
is
the problem.
—Deepak Chopra,
The Way of the Wizard
(1995) At the core of our being exists a pure mirror, untarnished and unsoiled by the impressions that fall upon it from the outside world. Like an inborn immunity, this part of us remains consistently whole, innocent, and healthy—even while enduring the numerous involvements and entanglements of this world.
—Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan,
Awakening: A Sufi Experience
(1999) Appreciate What Is
The film
Shadowlands
is the story of the author C. S. Lewis and his surprising love relationship with an American woman named Joy. Lewis is a stuffy Cambridge don, unused to complications—particularly complications of human relationships. Just as he is coming to recognize his love for Joy, she contracts terminal 103
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cancer. During a remission, they drive into the country to a place called the Golden Valley. Lewis had a picture of this valley in his study. In childhood, he had imagined this to be a picture of heaven. As he and Joy share a beautiful day in this valley, in the time between the suffering they had already experienced and the suffering yet to come, Lewis finds a quality of happiness he had not known before. He says to Joy, “No, I don’t want to be somewhere else anymore. Not waiting for anything new to happen. Not looking around the next corner, no next hill. Here now. That’s enough.”
To enter such a moment deeply is to enter the kingdom of heaven, the eternal now, the Buddha land of the present moment. While suffering can drive us to despair, it can also teach us the preciousness of here and now. For this reason, suffering is considered a “holy truth” in Buddhism. For when we examine suffering and its causes deeply, it leads to nirvana. It leads to bliss, just as this beautiful moment together for Lewis and Joy, a moment of heaven, was the result of wisdom gleaned from suffering.
Suffering teaches: This is your life. This moment is precious. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss the blueness of the sky, the delicate green of the first leaves of spring. Don’t even miss the tinny roar of a neighborhood adolescent’s motorcycle. Don’t miss anything. For this reason, Buddhist monks and nuns remind themselves daily that they will grow old, that they will get sick, that they will die, that everything they love will change. They consciously remind themselves that there is no possibility of escaping these realities. For if you forget, you will miss it all.
At first, this may seem like a negative practice. It runs counter to the superstitious feeling that entertaining negative possibilities will magically bring them about. But this is not the case. In fact, psychology has taught us that not facing things is often more dangerous than facing them. The reality we deny still hurts us in the same way that denying the reality of a wall doesn’t prevent it from hurting when we walk into it. It is our repressed feelings that cause the most trouble. Consider Sean. Sean thinks of himself as a nice person. And in many ways he is. He calls his mother on Mother’s Day and sends his girlfriend flowers on the monthly anniversary of their first date. He coaches Little League in the spring and soccer in the fall. But Sean does not know that underneath he is seething with resentment toward many people in 05 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:51 AM Page 105
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his life. He “forgets” to return phone calls. He always arrives late. Sometimes he acts as though the other person were not even there, or worse still, speaks with a slightly sarcastic tone that hurts people around him more than he knows. He maintains his belief in himself as nice in part by repressing hostile, angry feelings, yet these very feelings seep out and infect his relationships with others. If Sean can become conscious of these feelings, though this is not pleasant, and though it will challenge his one-sided view of himself, he can learn to take care of them, and not let them control his words and actions. Facing things that are negative or that make us uncomfortable is often helpful. Similarly, the practice of reminding ourselves that old age, sickness, and death are an inevitable part of the human condition is in actuality a positive practice. There are two fruits of this reminder:
nonattachment
and an
awareness of the preciousness of each moment of life
.
Practice the Five Remembrances
Many Buddhist monks and nuns practice remembering these five facts every day. In this way, we are not surprised when they occur. We are ready. And we do not need tragic events like those of September 11, 2001, to wake us up.
1. I am of a nature to suffer ill health. Ill health cannot be avoided. 2. I am of a nature to grow old. There is no escape from old age. 3. I am of a nature to die. There is no escaping death. 4. Everything and everyone I love is of a nature to change. I cannot hold on to anything or anyone.
5. My deeds (karma) are my only true possessions.
This week, at the beginning of your morning meditation period, spend a few moments remembering each of these points. Take it in deeply rather than by rote or mechanically. Let it contribute to your joy in being alive, even on a very normal, seemingly unexciting day. One caution with this practice: It may not be advisable to practice this when you are sad or depressed. Skip it until you feel more solid. 05 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:51 AM Page 106
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Touch the Preciousness of Life
Because life is limited, it is valuable. It is not possible to have day without night, male without female, birth without death. When you embrace the brevity of life, you do not need to despair. Quite the opposite can be the case. You can reach a perspective that this is not just another day, but it is a gift to enjoy. You can resolve that you don’t want to miss one minute of it. You know that health is valuable only because you have experienced its temporary loss. When you know that someday health will be gone forever, you don’t want to miss one moment of good health. Even if life is not all that you want, and even if your health is not all that you want, you know from this perspective that there are still many positive things right now.
Practice Nonattachment
Nonattachment is important because we easily lose perspective. There is a kind of stickiness about our normal awareness. Whatever momentarily occupies center stage in our conscious attention takes on cosmic proportions. A feeling develops that whatever is occupying us now is of supreme importance, and it
must
go well and smoothly, and turn out the way we want. Since inevitably, not everything in life goes smoothly and turns out as we wish, this feeling sets up a background of frustration and disappointment in our lives. In extreme cases, it can even generate despair. Notice the term used here is
nonattachment
rather than
detachment
. This is important. The term
detachment
evokes a sense of a blasé, noncaring attitude toward life. This is not what we mean at all. In fact, when you become more mindful, far more of your life becomes enjoyable. However, losing a sense of proportion about things robs us of vitality. When it is supremely important that each thing go just as we would like, we are locked on target for disappointment. When we insist on receiving only the good we think we need and no other, we cannot receive the actual good the universe is trying to place in our hands. Take the example of Sam, a client of mine. One day Sam called me on the telephone, very excited. He had been in a relationship with a woman for some time that, while wonderful in some ways, also had significant problems. Sam was excited because his partner had finally 05 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:51 AM Page 107