FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest (15 page)

Tim Ferris, author of
New
York
Times
best-seller,
The
Four
Hour
Workweek,
talks about removing all distractions that keep you from living a life in pursuit of your dreams. This means no news, no voicemail and no email. Turn it all off for certain hours of the day. You will see an instant rise in your productivity and you will feel more accomplished every day.

Avoid Dead End Conversations

I do not watch the news and I do not pay attention to headlines or water cooler chat, because it is all distracting and keeps me from reaching my full potential. People tend to group together and fester off of negative energy. Most of the news is negative and most of the population stops 5% before they reach their goals. Coincidence? No such thing. The relationship between reaching your dreams and the amount of distractions you invite into your life is directly proportional. As Tim Ferris says, if news is important enough, you will hear about it.

I also make it a personal choice to avoid the topics of religion and politics. I find that people are very passionate about proving that they are right and the other person is wrong, when in reality, there is no right and wrong. Your duty is to focus on yourself and your goals and live a fearless vibrant life. By avoiding conversations with such heated debate, you can free yourself from wasted time. A dead end conversation is a type of conversation where one or both parties stop listening to the other person, and focus on proving the other wrong. When politics or religion come up, in my experience, it is inevitable that people go gung ho and turn off their ears to open their mouth. Anytime people stop listening, the situation goes into reverse. Whether you are arguing with a significant other, trying to prove a point, or ignoring your inner voice, failing to listening is detrimental to your growth, so rather than spending your precious time on talking and filling each moment up with repetitive arguments and negative thought patterns, try listening.

Be calm and seek your inner voice. It is talking to you all of the time, although people tend to do things to reduce their inner voice. We eat junk food over it (not kind), we get into abusive relationships over it (not kind), we work out over it, we yell over it, spend money over it, watch negative TV over it, get into heated debates over it, when all we really need to do is to quiet ourselves and listen to this gentle, kind voice. It will guide us to where and when we need to be. It is our best friend, helping us make choices to bring us closer to our dreams. When you have a dream, you do not have to worry about how or when it will manifest.

Your job is to be clear about what to dream, and start to work towards it. It does not matter if you do not have enough money to make the dream come true. It does not matter if you do not know where and how you can possibly meet your soul mate when you work and come straight home. The universe and that little voice that we push away is there to guide us, to help us on the right path. A little bit of trust will get us closer to our goals. This is why most people stop before they reach their goal. It becomes too hard, or they can’t physically see it manifesting into their reality, so they throw up their hands and say, “I give up!” The other 5% of the population, the ones that wrote that national best-seller, or founded Microsoft, or created Facebook made their dreams a reality by not giving up. In order to fly and soar in your own life, you must choose the path of least resistance and focus on what you want. It may get hard and it will seem tough, but when you give up, you have not tried. You have not reached your full potential, so when you pursue a dream give it everything you have. Only then can you truly see what you are really capable of. Spending your valuable time watching negative garbage will only move you further from your goals.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. Challenge: Do not watch television for an entire week. Extra bonus: for an entire month.

2. Do not engage in political or religious debate or dead end conversations.

3. Rather than watching television, work on your dream list. Plan how much you will need to make your dreams come true. Create an action plan to move towards your desires.

All of the preparation you did in Part One has cleared out space, removed clutter, and eliminated the things that no longer serve you. We did this so you can have a balanced platform to jump-start your future. Spreading your wings is more than just a metaphor. You are really ready to take off, and enjoy life on new levels. Opportunities can now flood to you, and you will see miracles happen every day. You can now enjoy new experiences outside of your comfort zone, in essence, because your comfort zone has grown. When we have a larger area of comfort, our world is more exciting. Things flow more easily, and we often have more opportunities come to us when we are open to receiving them. Because you emptied your cup, there is now room to put what you want into it. Fill it with greatness, playtime, and love. Play with the world every second of the day by honoring yourself and your surroundings.

It all starts with you seeing things in a beautiful light. When we look at the world as a good, happy, and kind place, more good, happy, and kind things can happen and come to us, so open up your arms, stretch high into the sky, and launch yourself into your future. Falling in love with your future never felt easier. Every moment is exciting because we can embrace life and its adversity. This isn’t to say that we did all of the hard work so our lives will be easy going from here on out. It means that life’s challenges won’t seem so complicated anymore. It means we can relax into the hard times as well as the good times. Life is and will always be a roller coaster but when we accept a
Play
with
the
World
attitude, the roller coaster is always a fun ride.

In
a
Nutshell:

1. In order to reach your goals you need a clear destination. Focus on doing one thing every day that will help you get there.

2. Choose to see the good in every situation.

3. In order to manifest your goal, get rid of all distractions including toxic people who aren’t supporting you.

4. When we look at the world as a good, happy, and a kind place, more good, happy, and kind things can happen and come to us.

Additional
Resources:

Audio Meditation:
Find
Your
Happy:
Motivational
Mantras,
Track 8, “Spread Your Wings” (available on iTunes,
amazon.com
, and
playwiththeworld.com
shop).

Chapte
r
TEN

B
e
a
Kin
d
Junkie

“My
religion
is
very
simple.
My
religion
is
kindness.”
— Dalai Lama

A
kind life is a way of life and a lifestyle that exudes compassion, forgiveness and love. A kind junkie is someone who practices this daily. A Kind Life, coined by peace activist, vegan and actress, Alicia Silverstone, is a way of life that protects, cares for and loves yourself, the planet, and everything on the planet. What does this really mean? When we analyze the kind lifestyle, it is a miraculous way to approach each day because you will be full of love and care. The kind life is nurturing, loving and safe. It starts with recognizing and appreciating the good in the world.

A Kind Lifestyle

If every thought becomes a reality, then why not choose kind thoughts? This is the basic structure of the kind lifestyle. It starts with you and that little voice inside your head. Choose kind thoughts, rather than sabotaging, attacking yourself and others, and casting out negative perceptions, because all of that mental self abuse will pile up and create thick and heavy walls that make it impossible for love to get in. By starting with mini mantras you can be one step closer to living the kind lifestyle. Start out each day with a five-minute me-time. Some people like to call it meditation, visualization or focused intention, but in the
Play
with
the
World
community we call it me-time because, ultimately, all you are doing is getting closer to your true self. You are stepping closer to more love for you.

Upon waking every morning, before setting your feet on the bedroom floor, lie in bed and hold gratitude for all that is around you. Be thankful for the things you do have and then gently hug yourself. Say kind thoughts to yourself. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I say is, “I love you, Shannon, I am so excited for today.” I feel the love flood through me and I thank myself for being healthy and being enthusiastic for the new day. Then I say my intention for the day. I say it out loud so the world and my dog can hear me. As my day unfolds, this intention is in focus. Each day’s intention is different. One day it could be that I will hold space for others to be inspired. A different day, my intention may be that my diet will be meat and sugar free. Depending on what your goals are, and what your version of happiness is, make a daily intention upon waking up. After giving yourself a hug, embrace the intention and set out on your way. When the day is over, before you fall asleep repeat this five-minute me-time and recap the day’s events. Thank yourself for being present and working with yourself to make your dreams come true. Congratulate yourself for something you did. This is not a time to belittle or degrade yourself, but rather to hold space for you to be happy and feel love. If your goal is to lose weight, but you ate ice cream and pizza today, thank the pizza for tasting so good. If you are going to eat food that is high in calories, be excited that you picked the best possible food. Thank yourself in advance for staying on track the next day, and for trying all of the flavors of life.

We are our own worst critics, so when we stray from the kind lifestyle we become bulldozed by negative thought patterns. It is in this moment that we must return to love. We choose to climb our way back to love’s kind words. Remind yourself that you did the best you could. Speak to yourself in the same manner as you would talk to a child or a loved pet. Never make yourself feel bad for doing something wrong. Remember there is no wrong or right. Remember you are perfect as you are, so let love in and choose kindness.

The things you take in are just as important as what you release because what goes in must come out. Ask yourself what you have been ingesting lately. What television shows are you watching? What habits do you have that no longer serve you? Are you biting your nails, overeating, picking fights with loved ones, refusing to eat breakfast, or overworking when your loved ones are near? We all have vices, things we do to avoid letting love in. Whether we are behaving like a workaholic, lovaholic or alcoholic, the things we inhale will become the things we exhale. Would you like to walk around ingesting dirty gossip and negative news, or would you rather breathe in light, love, possibilities, and opportunities? This is the difference between saying yes to life and no to negative people, thoughts and situations. Remove yourself from all negative things that no longer serve you. You have a right to be happy and loving, and the negative energies will gravitate towards you when you feed into them.

I refused to accept that we are in a giant recession. I was able to nail a $70,000 position in a society that said there were no jobs. Do not buy into the mumbo jumbo. If a giant trial is on television, let it be. Don’t gather around the water cooler to gossip about someone else’s lessons. What other people have going on in their lives is something they need to work through. Joining complete strangers to gossip about them will only slow you down in your progress to become your awesome full self. So let it be and leave the drama at the curb.

By embracing the kind lifestyle, you are saying yes to life. You are embracing possibilities and becoming an active participant in your own life. It starts with kindness, so love yourself. Be kind to yourself and share this kindness with the world. What you allow yourself to take in will translate into what you bring into your life. We spent the first portion of the book clearing out space, so now that all of that clutter is removed you have openness to let love come in. As a kind junkie, you can hug yourself and the world with love, passion, and enthusiasm. Be kind to yourself and your neighbor. When you find yourself in a difficult situation — perhaps a significant other is angry and you are on the verge of, or in, a giant argument — choose love. Pick kindness. Challenge yourself to articulate kind words rather than attack, sabotage, or be fearful. By actively focusing on kindness, we can elevate the world. You can change the world. Be kind to yourself. If everything you say or do will be kind, more loving, thoughtful, and generous people will come into your life. Choose love over fear and the kind life will thank you back.

Turn Your Finger Around

Stop pointing the finger. Yes, I am talking to you right now. Where in your life are you playing victim? Where in your life are you blaming someone else and making him or her the source of your unhappiness? Well stop it, right now. I am your inner voice telling you that no good comes from blaming others. When we judge or accuse others of wrongdoing it makes us feel righteous, but it pulls us further away from love’s presence, which is completely opposite of being kind. When you refuse to look at all perspectives of each scenario, you are allowing others to make you feel one way or another but we have learned that only you have the power to feel good or not. Rather than blaming others for your unhappiness, look at yourself and ask what you are doing to make this situation things the way they are.