FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest (14 page)

It is our duty to push through the fear and get to the other side. The funny thing about fear is, when we actually look at it dead in the eyes, and say, “Fear, I see you and I am pushing through,” it isn’t as scary as it looked before we addressed it. When we push through it, it is always more manageable than we made it up to be in our heads. Fear of the unknown is what kept me playing small. I was afraid of not knowing where my next paycheck would come from, for example, but once I learned to recognize that all money is energy as we talked about in Chapter 6, I began to loosen my grip on the future. I slowly recognized that life is truly a journey, not a destination. I looked at my life, at the way things were unfolding, and I recognized my life didn’t look like anything I had planned for myself, but it was ten times better. The universe stepped in and helped me create an outstanding life.

I thought I would be the head of the creative department in an advertising agency by age 30, making over $150,000 a year. I was on that track for ten years, pushing uphill. Every day of my life felt like a struggle. I was living in fear. I would have become a creative director if I pushed hard enough, but it was hard work. It was exhausting trying to be someone I wasn’t. I was always trying to prove something to others and myself and it got old very fast. I couldn’t keep up the charade, so I turned in my big glossy 22” computer and corner office for a quiet spot in the park. Life had better plans for me, and it wasn’t until I surrendered to them that I was able to stop pushing.

I stopped trying to be someone I wasn’t and now life flows.
Life
is
supposed
to
be
exciting,
fun,
and
fulfilling.
That is what
Find
Your
Happy
is all about: declaring you are worth it, and that your dreams do matter. Life is too short to live in fear and choose anything less than outstanding for yourself. If you have a dream, act it out by focusing on loving thoughts and clear intentions. When we get stuck in fear, it paralyzes us and prevents us from moving forward. The first step to busting through fear is to recognize that you have fear. Here are some common fears that keep us from getting what we really want in life. See if any of these ring true for you.

1. Fear of abandonment/ being alone.

2. Fear of failure.

3. Fear of not having, being, or doing enough.

Do you relate to any of these fears? The next step is to ask yourself how these fears keep you from getting what you want. For example, I used to tell myself that I didn’t have enough money to quit my job. The fear of not having enough kept me from being in a career that was fulfilling and rewarding.

Now, ask yourself how you benefit from believing in that fear. When we buy into fears, there is always a benefit for us, otherwise we wouldn’t listen to the silly voice. Most of the time you end up being right or you feel justified. By believing my fear that there was not enough money, I stayed miserable, but the benefit was I had security. I thought it was security anyway, with the paycheck rolling in every two weeks. It wasn’t until I looked at that fear, belief, and benefit that I was able to see the real reason I was buying into it.
If
we
believe
our
fears
we
cannot
grow
and
bust
through
them.

The next step is to ask yourself what believing that fear costs. Usually the cost outweighs the benefit but we never give ourselves enough attention to get to the meat of our issues. The cost for me was ultimate self-expression and happiness. In believing my fear, I was depressed, unhappy, overweight and lonely. Most of the time believing our fear keeps us from love, self-love, loving other people, and most importantly, it prevents us from accepting love. Fear is the opposite of love, and we have a choice at every moment in our lives to choose love or fear. Love is kind, loyal, freeing, and bountiful. Fear is everything love is not. When you find yourself in a sticky situation with a significant other or in a situation at work, ask yourself what a loving thing you could do. I started to do this in my relationships and they are deeper, more fulfilling and joyous than I could have ever imagined.

We have two sides to us. There are the dark, devious thoughts that are based on fear and the other side, the expressive, kind, and generous thoughts that come from love. We can choose our thoughts and we can choose love. By choosing love we will expand our horizons and let life flood in. Opportunities will be plentiful.

In
a
Nutshell:

1. When you say Yes to life situations, more opportunities will come your way.

2. Dreams are patient, but yearn to be realized. You must never give up on them.

3. Following your heart is the most responsible thing you can do.

4. Our job in life is to be happy and being happy means taking risks.

5. Choose love over fear and create miracles in your life.

Additional
Resources:

Audio Meditation:
Find
Your
Happy:
Motivational
Mantras,
Track 6, “Choose Love over Fear” (available on iTunes,
amazon.com
, and
playwiththeworld.com
shop).

Par
t
Two
:
Tak
e
Off

Fearlessly Flaunt the Flawless You

Chapte
r
NINE

Sprea
d
You
r
Wings

“If
you
let
go
a
little,
you
will
have
a
little
happiness.
If
you
let
go
a
lot,
you
will
have
a
lot
of
happiness.
And
if
you
let
go
completely,
you
will
be
completely
happy.”
— Ajahn Chah

T
ake a moment and give yourself a giant bear hug. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze tightly because you have made it through Part One and are now ready to literally take off. All of the steps laid out in the first half of the book have led you to this point where you are standing on the ledge and looking out into the vast openness in front of you. Are you ready to fly? You are like a caterpillar turned into a butterfly, and you are poised to fly away from the cocoon and spread your beautiful, colorful wings. This section is all about you, and making your dreams, plans, hopes, and life goals a reality. You can live every moment in a pure state of bliss. You can feel free in every instance in your life even when things are not going as planned. Living a life of fulfillment, freedom, and abundant play is available to you now more than ever before. Unlike other books, processes, or workshops you have taken before, this book has spent a significant amount of time focused on removing the clutter that blocks you from feeling love for life to its fullest. There are barriers that pop up in our minds to keep us from playing the game of life and we have removed those blocks, so salute yourself, hug yourself, and take yourself out, because you did what most people refuse to do in life. You put yourself first and said, “I am worth it; I do want more out of life, and I do have a lot to give.” Congratulations! Now the super fun part begins, we get to fly. Now you can literally soar and experience life on unprecedented levels.

Imagine yourself as everything you ever wanted to be. Walk around with your head held high and feel the presence of love flooding through you. You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. The final step to doing the work, and the first step to flying is to know that you are perfect the way you are and you are enough. By now you may realize that everything you have ever wanted is within you. The power to change your relationships, your job and your outlook on life all begins with you. Being accountable and not accusing or blaming others for your problems can be the single best step to set you free. So let’s begin. Are you ready to not just reach new heights, but soar above the world and reach your highest potential? It all starts with a dream.

Dream Big and Follow Through

Having dreams and goals is important to the success of you. When you are working towards something, you feel more useful and fulfilled. When our dreams are realized, we feel a rush of euphoric emotions that is unparalleled by anything else on earth. Think of a dream that has come true for you, whether it was wanting a puppy or getting a good grade on a test, or maybe paying off your car loan. Whatever the dream, big or small, when it is realized you feel more powerful, complete and fulfilled. Loving an enriched life starts with the thought of possibilities, hopes, desires, and wonders in your mind. In order to fly, we need a destination. You can get off the ground and soar, but if you have no clear direction or dream, then you will become tired and bored, and eventually the enthusiasm will burn off. Focusing your flight on a goal will allow you to stay in the air longer. Obviously I am speaking with a metaphor here, but when you fly towards a goal, you will have a purpose.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. Pick one goal that you want to focus on for this month. Write down the goal:
Ex.:
Lose
ten
pounds.

2. What is one thing you can do today to work towards that goal?
Create
a
food
journal
and
track
all
of
my
calories.

3. Do this same action for 40 days. (It takes 40 days to truly change your patterns, so commit, focus and watch your life transform.)

Do One Thing Every Day Your
Future Self Will Thank You For

Hold yourself accountable. Each day, work towards the big goal by breaking it down into mini day goals. For example, say one of your goals is to lose 10% of your body fat or weigh X amount. This is your big goal. In order to achieve big goals, we must break them down into smaller, more attainable goals. Rather than saying, “I want to lose 20 lbs.,” tell yourself, “I will keep a food diary every day this month, I will only eat healthy, fresh foods and I will work out 40 minutes, five days this week.” Do this each week, making mini attainable goals, and before you know it your big goal will be a reality.

As I mentioned, in my workshops, I like to recommend that you do one thing every day that your future self will thank you for. Your future self is your best guide and is cheering for you to reach ultimate happiness. When you focus on one thing every day you will be able to reach your goals faster. Rather than stressing about what you did not do, maintain a consistent balance of moving towards your goal with purpose, clarity, and action.

Challenge yourself. Ask yourself what you really want. I always check in with myself and get real honest. I ask, “What one thing do I want right now that I do not have?” Most of the time it is not a material item like a car or new outfit, but a more emotional experience. I want to feel free, or be financially free, or I want to express love in all aspects of my life including the way I talk to myself, because what we do to ourselves we do unto others. If you are constantly telling yourself you can’t do it, you’re not rich enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc., you will not be able to attract or get closer to reaching any goal.

We spent a lot of time on negative Nelly talk and it doesn’t belong in your life anymore. Starting right now, choose to see the good in every situation, including your dreams. Focus on what you want and the feeling of your dream being a reality. When your brain strays, gently guide it back to kindness and love. Alicia Silverstone, author of
The
Kind
Diet
, and Kris Carr author of
Crazy
Sexy
Diet
, have similar philosophies about life.

Both are famous Wellness Warriors and
New
York
Times
best-selling authors, and they describe this method as the kind diet. They teach the power of kindness as a way of life, providing the power to transform your world by just practicing kindness. What does this mean? Simply treat yourself with only kind, loving and gentle thoughts, words and actions. Do not beat yourself up mentally for anything. Do not talk down to yourself, only practice love and respect for yourself, from the food you eat to the other things you take in. This includes eating food that is fresh, organic and harm free and tuning out negative garbage, media, and negative people who hook into drama and feed off of its negative potions. Remove all news.