Find A Way Or Make One (13 page)

My old swim
buddy didn’t disappoint. In that quiet voice that he always used when he was in deep thought he simply stated. “Kye knows why you had to quit the teams. Kye always pushes people away when they get to close
. She
always
pushes people away before they can hurt her. You should have seen
the hoops she made Toby jump through, I swear she…well that doesn’t matter. The point is she knew what button to push with you
to make you mad enough to leave and didn’t hesitate to push it. It is her defense mechanism. She would have never let you be involved with this training if she hadn’t believed in your dedication to you platoon and country.”

“Yeah, I know; didn’t make it any easier though having to listen to that shit.”
I was struggling to control and contain the hurt rolling through me
, but I don’t know what hurt me more.
That she would maliciously try to hurt me, that she would be so scared that I would hurt her, or that this
Toby
had had the same power.

I slowly turned to look Sunny in the
eye. “Do
I even have a shot man? Or
is there no chance of a reprieve?”

Sunny wrapped his arm around me, “Nah man, if Kye is willing to pull out the big guns emotionally to keep you at bay, I would say you are already half way there. Go home and take a shower, then go over to her house and talk to her.”

I was a little confused. “Why can’t I talk to her now? Wouldn’t it be best to talk before her anger built up?”

Sunny shook his head and laughed. “Well, yeah man, it probably would be better…if she hadn’t already left.”

Well, damn!
“Shit Sunny! Why didn’t you say anything? I have got to go!”

Sunny just laughed. “Just because I think you got a shot,
and
I think you would be good for Kye, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on you!”

And really, what could I say to that?

***

As I walk up the steps to Kye’s door, I briefly think about how lucky I have been to get her so quickly. After I saw that she had left I rushed to the door. Sunny tried to stop me to tell me something, but I wouldn’t listen. I held up my hand
and rushed out the door.
Once I reached the hotel suite I rushed to my bathroom an
d took a quick shower
and got ready. The only glitch that occurred was when Sable walked into the bathroom as I was drying off. When she walked over and offered to help, I kind of lost it and told her to get her whorish ass out and leave me the fuck alone. What can I say? Sometimes you have to say enough is enough and call a spade a spade
; or as in this case, a whore a whore.

That really doesn’t matter now. I am here at Kye’s, ready to go all in. Shit, I have been all in since the day I saw her running to Starbucks in the rain.

I knock for the second time and I am starting to get nervous. What if she isn’t home yet? What if she
has already left? What if she just doesn’t want to talk to me and won’t open the door?

As I get ready to knock for the third time, the door suddenly opens. Kye is standing there in a robe with a towel tied around her head. “What the fuck do you want?”

Well, here goes nothing. “You,
Kye. I want you.”

14

“
Love is an attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.
”

Octavio Paz
 

Kye

What
the hell? I know he didn’t just say what I think he said. I would love to laugh in his face but I don’t trust myself not jump in his arms and forgive and forget everything. Instead, I just shake my head and try to close the door. Only he still won’t move his damn foot, and that just pisses me off. The level of pissed off that makes me
want to start throwing things and usually gets my mouth to write checks my ass can’t cash.

“What the fuck douche face? Do you really think that you can waltz back into my life after seven years, tell me you want me and that will make everything ok? I can’t believe you really think that you are that damn smooth!”

I have to get away from him. I can’t be hurt again, and that is what will happen, so I turn around and walk to the kitchen. “Leave asshole, just leave.”

I make it to the sink where I reach for a bottle of Vodka. Even though I know that Wyatt won’t just give up and walk, I had been wishing so hard that’s exactly what he will do that when his hand touches my arm
. I
look up at him and in his hooded, silver gaze
and I see something that I have never seen in them before. In the six months we were together I had seen lust, affection, humor,
anger, irritation, I can remember so many emotions and I had thought that I had seen them all, but now I realize that I was wrong. I had never seen the hopelessness that I saw in them. It made me want to do anything
to make him feel better. In fact, I was just about to reach out and caress his face when a memory flashes through my mind.

I had just gotten back from my last assignment. Toby had been waiting at headquarters when we came in to be debriefed. When he had heard about how I had gone in seemingly unarmed to get close enough to the general in one of the Mexican cartels Toby just looked at me and walked.

When one of us finishes a mission and the other is in town we usually go out drinking. I usually don’t drink and I never touch anything more powerful than alcohol, but after missions I could never
stop the bombardment of memories that I was usually able to keep at bay. Toby understood what was going on, but he was so damn pissed
that he walked off and left me.
I went to the local liquor store and bought two bottles of Tequila and went back to my
apartment.

After I walk into my apartment and start drinking straight from the bottle. The next thing I know Toby is yanking me up from the floor. He marches me to my bathroom where he turns on the water in the shower and pushes us both in. After sputtering and cussing for about ten minutes, he turns off the water and
takes me to stand in front of the mirror. “Kye look.” I turn to face him, and I can tell that is not what he was after.

“No damm
it! Look at the fucking mirror!” I look in the mirror and I flinch and look down at the sink. “No, I want you to take a good hard look at what you have let this
fucktard
do to you. You weren’t even this bad when I found
you with Travis waiting for Zandoville to come to pick up his repayment. Look at you;
really look at you. You can’t go on this way, you might be breathing in and out, but you sure as hell aren’t living!” I just stared at the mirror, and looked
into the dead and lifeless eyes that were staring back at me.

M
y eyes had reflected a desolation that reached into the very core of my soul. We had only been together for six months, but in those six months I felt that I had found my other half, the one who completed me and made me whole. Too bad I couldn’t have been farther from the truth. And no matter what, I can’t let Wyatt the-selfish-prick Masters do that to me again.

“I can’t believe that you have the audacity to walk back into my life after seven years and try to feed
me this line of utter and complete bull shit! Is your ego really so large that you believe that I would welcome you back into my life after all this time? After the last words that you ever said to me, how can you really think that I want a
self-absorbed, egotistical asshole like you back in my life?
” By this time Wyatt has moved a few steps closer to me and reaches out to take me in his arms.

I give him a small shove and start pacing the length of the kitchen. I am on a roll and when I get that way there is no way that I can shut my mouth. “Or did you think that I was so pathetic and beneath you that I would actually be happy to be on the receiving end of a pity fuck from you? I will have you
kn…” I never get to finish my sentence because Wyatt grabs me and makes me face him. His chest is heaving like he has been without air for five minutes and the sharp look in his eyes tells me that something I said seriously pissed him off.
I never meant for anything to happen, but when I looked into his eyes I was frozen and
any desire to stay away from him flew out of my head.

“Do you think Darlin’ Princess that I want to hear about any other man that you have been with, before or after me? Hell no I don’t. And there is no way on this mortal coil or the heavenly beyond that I will sit here and listen to you
give me a play by play.” With that he pulled my body flush to his and lowered his head to brand my lips with the punishing force of his own.

At first I tried to get away, but who am I kidding?
Even seven years couldn’t diminish the electric reaction I had every time we touched.
The kiss wasn’t the sweet and passionate kind that you saw in the classic love stories, but one of those punishing kisses that was nothing about love, but all about staking a claim.

After a minute or two, I felt the kitchen table hit the back of my legs. Wyatt reached down and lifted me to sit on top of the table. The towel my wet hair had been held in was long gone and my robe was beginning to gape. I soon felt Wyatt’s hands grabbing the flesh of my hips. Suddenly, Wyatt raises his mouth from mine and bent to put his forehead on my shoulder. “Kye, where is the bedroom?”

I pulled away from Wyatt briefly. I looked in his hooded eyes and I knew, I just knew that I couldn’t stop what was going to happen. I didn’t have the strength and to be honest I didn’t really want to.
Maybe this time we can make it work. I had been fighting to keep him out of my heart
since the day that I saw him again and I couldn’t fight anymore.
I finally have accepted that I can’t keep Wyatt Masters out of my heart because he has never really left.
“Down the hall last door on the right.”

Wyatt pulled me off the table causing me to wrap my legs around his hips. He continued to kiss me as he walked us down the hall. As Wyatt walked us into my room, he began kissing my neck and shoulder. Once he got to the bed he dropped me on the mattress causing me to bounce twice. Wyatt’s mouth kicked up on one side as he began taking off his clothes while his eyes never left mine. “Darlin’ Princess, I have waited a long time for this; one hell of a long time.”

He looked at me for a long moment, and then started to walk back to the bed. I hurriedly shrugged my robe off and just stared at him. He had always been beautiful to me and he seemed even more so now. The years had added sharpness to the contours of his body that made his body a true work of art.

Once he got to the bed, he began to lower himself down to the bed with one fluid motion. He began kissing my
foot, and then worked his way up my leg. When he got to the top of my thigh he began working his way to my core. He began nibbling and stroking my clit with his tongue. Then he kissed his way to
the
bottom of my vagina and then back up to the top.
He raised his head and smiled. “Still the sweetest pussy I have ever tasted.”

Then he began kissing his way up my stomach to my breasts. He took my right nipple in his mouth and suckled as his hand kneaded my left breast. Then he switched.

After he felt my breasts had received adequate attention, he began working his way up my neck, and then followed my jaw until he reached my mouth.

He slowly pulled his lips away from mine and rested his forehead on mine. “Darlin’ Princess, when I make love to you, I am going to be fulfilling a dream I have had for seven years.” He raised my legs to his waist and slowly lowered himself until we were one again.

After closing his eyes, he began moving his hips. Slowly at first, but the tempo became faster and faster causing the warm tingling to
build inside of me. Wyatt looked in my eyes, and with
one last heaving thrust, sent us both over the edge into oblivion.
Wyatt has given me a gift that I never thought I would have again. I just hope I don’t have to pay for this glimpse of Paradise by walking through hell again.

15

“
Our experience is composed rather of illusions lost than of wisdom acquired.
” Joseph Roux

Wyatt

I woke up as the sun’s rays filter
ed in through the window. As I
slowly woke up I could feel the heat radiating off of Kye’s body. I turned on my side and reached out to pull her body into mine. Kye nestled her backside into me and I had to bite back the groan that filled my mouth. You would think that after making love to this woman three times the night before I would be ready to give Little Wyatt a rest, but right here in this moment
I knew that even when I am old and gray I will still desire this woman with everything in me.

Right about that time, Kye began to stir. She started waking up slow at first then she jerked up and looked around wildly. What the hell?

Kye looked around wildly. I was starting to get concerned
as she looked around wildly; but when she saw me, she instantly relaxed. She shook her head and mumble
d, “I should have known that I would sleep a full night with you.”

I didn’t know what she meant that so I let it slide. “Good morning Darlin’. I hope I am not overstepping, but I would really like to
spend the day with you today. I think after seven years apart we need to spend some time getting to know each other again. Don’t you?”

Kye slowly turned to look at me. She stared at me a long moment and then gave me a small smile. “Yeah, I think that is a good idea. Seven years is a lot of time.
And I know we have a lot to talk about if we are going to make it…if you are thinking long term that is.”