Fearless (16 page)

“A jungle theme sounds like it could be funny,” said Molly. “I think we should do it the second way.”

I turned to Melissa. I didn't want to completely leave her out of the planning. She was at least trying to help us out.

“What do you think, Melissa?”

“I liked it the second way. That's the best one.”

“Okay, good. So we've got a theme already. Maybe Tarzan and Jane? And some animals? Maybe we could do a song.”
Oliver!
was a musical, and I loved the way the actors were all choreographed while they sang the songs.

“That's a good idea,” said Melissa. “Can you hang on a second? I'll be right back.” Then she stood up and went to talk to Kelly sitting out on the porch.

Molly shook her head. “We're going to get stuck planning this whole thing by ourselves. Nobody else is even going to be in it!”

“Yes, they will. Brittany and Erin promised they'd go along with whatever we come up with. Once they get back from their hiking overnight, we'll let them know what their parts are.”

“You'll have to take one of the main roles this time, okay? You can't plan the whole skit and then say you're
not going to do it because you're the director,” Molly told me, giving me this really accusing look.

“I will! I did the counselor imitation skit, remember?” I reminded her, although Molly probably had no idea how nervous I'd been.

“Oh, yeah. You did do that one,” she said.

“You know I want some practice getting up in front of people. Maybe doing the talent show will help me not be so nervous when I audition for
Our Town
.”

“So you still really want to do that?” she asked.

“Yeah, I do. Don't you think I'm getting better? Did I or did I not walk up to a complete stranger Saturday night and ask him to dance?”

Molly smiled. “You did. I didn't think you'd
ever
get up the nerve to do that.”

I gathered up all the stray costumes into one big pile. “I think I'm making major progress.” After the first dance, I never would've believed that by the second dance, I'd be brave enough to walk up and start talking to Sean. But I'd done it! And I was so glad I had. It made me realize what I'd missed out on during the first dance.

I wasn't completely fearless. Yet. But little by little, I was definitely getting better. This morning at riding, I'd had a great lesson, which had put me in a really good
mood. We were all set to do a few easy jumps next time, and I could finally write Mama and Eric and tell them that I'd done it. Madison would be watching me, and she'd be so happy for me. She'd have to admit that I was getting braver.

And now this, too—the talent show! We had practically a whole week to get it ready. Things couldn't be better!

There I was on the back of Odie. His chestnut coat was shimmering in the sunlight, and his brown mane was flying in the warm breeze. I had on a dark green shirt, cream riding breeches, and black boots. My black riding helmet was pulled down low, shading my eyes, and my curly blond hair was in a long ponytail.

At the edge of the ring, lined up along the rail fence, were my sister, all my friends, my riding instructor, and Eda. She was holding up the video camera, and even though I wasn't looking in her direction, I knew she was filming me.

“Trot!” I told Odie, squeezing his sides with my legs, and then letting up the pressure. We took off at a brisk pace. One-two, one-two, one-two. Ahead of us, I could
see the crossrail waiting. I pulled back on the inside rein so that Odie would be perfectly centered.

As we made the approach, I was a little surprised. The crossrail looked higher than I was expecting. For a split second, I felt a ripple of terror run through my body.

Be fearless
, I reminded myself.
Fearless!

Then everything I'd learned all summer came back to me. Don't look at the jump. Eyes straight ahead. Chin up. Heels down. Back straight. Shoulders squared.

I rose into two-point position at exactly the right moment. I grabbed Odie's mane, and then . . .

We were flying! We were off the ground, suspended. Odie's forelegs cleared the crossrail, then his hind legs. We were landing. On the follow-through, I stayed in two-point, and after he was a couple of strides past the jump, I slowly eased down into the saddle.

Wild applause!

I tried not to smile, but I couldn't control myself. I guided Odie around the ring, smiling and blushing. We trotted over to the fence where everyone was watching.

“You did it! You did it!” Molly screamed over and over. Whitney and Amber had climbed up on the rail fence, and they were still clapping.

“Great job, Babykins!” Madison yelled, and then whistled. Did she have to call me that?

“Awesome. Very Zen,” Wayward said calmly over the noise of everyone else.

“Your mother will love seeing this!” said Eda. She lowered the video camera and gave me a huge smile.

Okay. That was a long movie moment, but that's the way I saw it happening. It could be that way. It could be perfect. And even if everything didn't happen exactly the way I saw it in my mind, it could still go well.

As we walked to the stables, I couldn't believe that today had gotten here so fast. All summer, jumping had seemed so far away because Wayward had told us we probably wouldn't be ready until the last week.

But now here it was, already the last week. Today I was going to jump, tomorrow night we'd do the talent show, and then there'd just be Friday to pack everything, and we'd be leaving on Saturday.

“Are you nervous?” Molly asked me as the four of us walked along the dirt road.

I shook my head. Actually, I was, but I was trying not to be. Everything was going to be fine. I was ready. Time for me to make my first jump.

“Good. I'm not at all nervous! I can't wait!” said Molly. She was bouncing down the road instead of
walking.

“I know. I'm excited too,” said Amber, and then she let out a big sigh. “I just hope I remember everything.” She bent down and plucked a daisy growing by the side of the road.

“I think the main thing to remember is don't look down. You naturally want to look down as you're going over, but don't do it,” Whitney advised us.

Talking about jumping just made me nervous. I wanted to change the subject.

“After this, we're going to practice for the talent show, right?” I asked Molly.

“Yeah, sure, although I think we're ready.”

“But we haven't had a chance to rehearse with Erin and Brittany yet,” I reminded her. They'd been gone on the hiking overnight, so it had basically been Molly and me planning everything.

“What's your cabin doing?” asked Amber. She'd tucked the daisy stem behind one ear.

“Jordan planned it all. You know that song, ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight'? We're doing a dance to it. Jordan's going to be Jane, and she's making me be Tarzan.”

“I'm not making you be Tarzan. You said you would,” I interrupted. “And then Erin Harmon's a lion who's trying to sleep, but the monkeys keep bothering her.
Brittany Choo and Melissa Bledsoe are the monkeys.”

Thinking about our act got me so excited. I'd given myself a big role. Actually, it was the leading role. I was the one who'd be singing the song while everyone else was acting out the lyrics.

Yesterday, when we'd rehearsed, I'd made Molly follow me way up one of the hiking trails deep into the woods so I could practice singing the song really loud. I didn't want anyone in camp hearing me. She said it sounded “amazing,” and I could tell she wasn't just saying that.

With just Molly there, I could sing like nobody was listening. Like I didn't care how it sounded. And it had sounded really good.

Amber was telling us about how the girls in her cabin had been practicing a hip-hop dance, but apparently she wasn't in it. Of course, Whitney mentioned her violin playing one more time.

“If we run through it a couple of times today with Erin and Brittany and a couple of times tomorrow, it should be perfect,” I told Molly.

“Yeah, okay,” she said, dashing about six or seven steps ahead of the rest of us. “I hope Eda's down here already with the video camera. I reminded her at breakfast that today was the day.”

When we got to the stables, the first thing I noticed was that Madison and Wayward were standing by the ring with Cara Andrews, one of the other riding instructors, and our horses were already outside, tacked and ready for us.

“Hey, everyone,” said Madison. She looked at me and gave me a tiny wink. I was glad I'd asked her to watch me today.

And there was Eda, wearing a short white skirt and her green Pine Haven shirt. She held her video camera in one hand and waved to us with the other as we walked up.

“I really need some footage of our expert riders,” she said cheerfully. “This way we can let prospective campers see what a great riding program we have.”

Molly's whole face lit up. “Oh, you mean we're going to be in one of the Pine Haven movies? I hadn't even thought about that! I just wanted a video to show my mom!”

I hadn't thought of that either. But that was one reason Eda liked to take a lot of videos every summer. All during the year, she'd travel around and show movies to groups of parents and kids who were interested in Pine Haven. Mama had even hosted parties like that at our house.

My stomach started doing backflips the second I heard that. People were going to watch this? Watch me? Strange people I didn't even know?

We all went into the tack room to get our riding helmets on, and then we went back out to start our lesson.

Whitney was practically standing on her tiptoes. “Do you want me to go first, Caroline? Since I'm jumping a course. And then Eda can shoot the footage of everyone else doing a single jump.”

Translation: Let me go first since I'm so special.

Molly shook her head in disgust over how pushy Whitney was being, but Wayward said that was probably a good idea. Whitney mounted, and Wayward went out to the ring with her while the rest of us stayed by the fence and watched.

“Two jumps,” said Molly. “I guess you could call it a course.”

Out in the ring, there was a low crossrail, and then several feet past that was a vertical—a single pole set up between two standards. Whitney trotted around the ring a couple of times to warm up, and then she approached the jumps. We all stayed quiet because Eda had started filming.

Whitney and Cleo took their jumps perfectly, and I couldn't help thinking that this was a great movie
moment for Whitney right now. Once Whitney had done the course a couple of times, it was our turn.

For the time being, Eda had turned off the camera. Madison came over to me and gave me a quick hug. “You're going to do great. Just try not to overanalyze everything.”

I nodded. My heart was thumping ultrafast, and I just wanted to get this over with. Wayward had taken the pole down between the verticals so our horses would only have the single crossrail to jump.

As we were just about to mount, I told Amber and Molly, “I don't want to go first or last. So is it okay if I go in the middle?”

“It's okay with me,” said Amber. “I think Molly should be first, since she's the most excited. I don't mind going last.”

“Thanks!” said Molly with a grin. Madison came over to give me a leg up, and I noticed that Eda was now videotaping us. I leaned over to check the girth and adjust the stirrups, but I was so nervous I could hardly focus on what I was doing.

And then Odie started freaking out. He shook his head vigorously and then stamped both of his forelegs. “Hey! Calm down!” I told him. But he wouldn't settle down. He was stamping and shaking his head like crazy,
and I pulled back on the reins, trying to get him to stand still.

“JORDAN!” Maddy yelled at me. And I mean
yelled.
“Stop yanking on the reins! You're hurting him!”

I felt so panicked. Odie was out of control. Maddy was yelling. Eda was filming. Wouldn't this be a great video to show future campers?

Wayward came over and took Odie by the bridle. She patted him a couple of times, and of course he calmed down for
her
.

She looked up at me. “It's okay. Relax. Just relax,” she reminded me. “When you get tense, it makes him nervous.”

“Okay,” I said. I blew out a long, slow breath.

This was so embarrassing! Everybody was watching—
Madison, Eda, Cara Andrews. And then suddenly an image popped into my head. I could see forty people crammed into our living room at home, watching a video of me losing control of my horse.

“Let's warm up a little. Walk one circuit around the ring, and then move into a trot,” Wayward instructed us. So the three of us started to walk around the ring. Walking was no problem, but when we began trotting, Odie was acting all wound up again. He was going sort of sideways, and I couldn't seem to get him to
straighten out.