Fearless (12 page)

Late in the afternoon, after all the lessons were over, we were on our way back to the stables to help the riding staff hose down the horses, feed them, and turn them out. Amber and Molly really loved doing this, because the more time they got to spend with the horses, the happier they were.

Whitney liked to do it because she thought it somehow gave her more status than the other riders who only took lessons and didn't help with tacking and grooming.

I liked it at first, but after doing it a few times, it seemed like a lot of work to me. But all my friends wanted to do it practically every day, so I figured I might as well go along with them.

When we got to the stables, we could see that
Madison was out in the ring riding Suzy. We walked over and stood beside Wayward, who was leaning against the rail fence, watching them.

“Hey, how's it going? We'll start hosing down the horses in a minute, after Maddy finishes this course,” Wayward told us.

I actually liked watching Princess Perfect on horseback. Madison looked like she belonged on a horse, and it made me proud that all my friends got to see her too.

“Suzy is so beautiful. I love white horses,” said Molly. She reached up to try to steal Wayward's plaid cap, but she wasn't fast enough. Wayward kept both hands on her hat so Molly couldn't get it.

“Don't mess with the hat,” she warned. “And Suzy's not really white. She's gray.” Then Wayward explained that white horses were really rare. For a horse to be called white, it had to have pink skin. Suzy's gray coat had faded to white as she'd gotten older.

I didn't really care whether Suzy was technically white or not. She
looked
white to me. And with Madison riding her, the two of them looked beautiful together. They were pretty far away from us, but they stood out against the deep green of the grass.

Madison was wearing a red polo, cream-colored jodhpurs, and black boots. Her brown hair was flow
ing out from under her riding helmet in a loose ponytail that hung down her back. And when she broke into a canter, her hair flew up in the air.

“Oh, wow! We get to watch Madison practice jumps,” said Amber.

“Yeah, since we keep her busy helping out with lessons, she doesn't get a lot of time to ride,” said Wayward.

The jump course set up in the ring had some verticals, some hay bales, and an oxer, which was two rails with a space in between for the horse to jump at one time.

Wayward explained to Madison how she should complete the course. “Pick up your canter and take the red and white vertical, then turn left over the blue oxer and ride straight ahead to the hay bales. Remember to keep her balanced.”

“That's a very advanced course, isn't it, Caroline?” asked Whitney. Whenever she called Wayward by her real name, I'd sometimes forget who she was talking to.

“Yep, pretty advanced. Y'all will work up to that someday,” she told us with a wink.

The sun was really low in the sky now, and Madison and Suzy were bathed in yellowy sunlight. Madison was cantering around the ring, and we watched as she
took the first jump over the vertical. Then she had to make a quick turn to the inside and loop back around to the oxer. They sprung over it so gracefully I could feel myself smiling as I watched them.

Madison did get on my nerves at times. Sometimes a lot. But she was still my sister.

“Wow, she is so
good,
” marveled Amber.

“She's better than good,” I said. “She's awesome.” I had to shade my eyes with one hand so I could see her in the setting sunlight, but what I saw made my heart feel like a huge balloon swelling up with helium.

When they cantered past us, I could see the look of concentration in her eyes, but that wasn't the only thing. I could see in her face how much she loved being on the back of a horse, how completely and totally happy she was, how perfect this moment was for her.

If this were a movie, there would've been a close-up of Madison's face right now with the golden sunlight making her look like she was glowing. And there would be beautiful music playing in the background.

Maddy had finished the whole course and was going back around to do it one more time. When she got to the third jump, the hay bales, she and Suzy flew over those and went straight to the vertical.

But something didn't look right. Madison's reins
had gotten a little long and suddenly Suzy's head went down. Madison was thrown forward and . . .

“She fell!” Wayward said. Her voice hit me like an electric shock.

Suzy's hooves came down on the poles, and Madison . . . Madison was on the ground!

“Oh my gosh!” yelled Amber.

Wayward was over the rail fence in one leap, and the rest of us scrambled over behind her.

We ran as fast as we could across the field. My whole body jarred as I ran. Everything was a blur of green. The world rushed past me in crazy, tilted camera angles. The sound of all of us running, running, running was so loud I could feel the ground shaking.

Maddy, Maddy!

What if she was . . . ? Or even worse! What if she was . . . ? I couldn't even think those words!

No, no! Please, God, make her okay! Make her okay!

Now I could see her, lying there in the grass, on one side, her body curled up. One arm was thrown back behind her in an awkward, twisted way. But then she sat up, slowly.

Not dead! Not paralyzed!

Now she was standing. A little wobbly. Her back to
us, bending over. She took off her helmet, and her hair was all messed up.

Wayward got to her first. “Are you okay?” she shouted.

Me still running, like in a dream, when you run and run and run and run, but you don't get anywhere.

I could see her. Standing. Nodding. Still bent over, her back to us. Hands on her knees. Like she was searching for something she'd dropped in the grass.

After two years of running, I finally got to her. But when she turned around . . .

Her face . . .

Blood! Blood everywhere!

Gushing from her nose, her mouth! Blood covering her face! Her beautiful face!

“Mah,” I managed to say before the ground rose up and knocked me down.

“Jordan. Jordan.” Someone was calling my name, but they were underwater.

Or I was underwater.

“Um,” I said because I knew I should try to answer them.

“Can you open your eyes?”

Maybe. Later.

“Jordan, can you hear me?”

“Um.”

And then it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I sucked in my breath all at once. I must've forgotten to breathe for a second. My eyelids fluttered open. A circle of heads was leaning over me.

Then I remembered. Maddy!

I screamed and covered my eyes. Maddy hurt! Bleeding!

“Holy guacamole, what a scream.” That was Wayward.
I'd recognize that voice anywhere. She still sounded
so calm
.

“Ow, that hurt my ears.” I couldn't tell whose voice that was.

“Hey, Jordan. Are you okay?”

I opened my eyes, and Molly and Amber were bending over me. Molly's dark eyes stared down at me. “I think she's okay. Right, Jordan?”

I nodded. My head felt like a horse had stepped on it. Suzy was standing a few feet away with her head hanging down.

Did Suzy step on my head? Was that why I was on the ground?

“Maddy? Where's Maddy?” I asked, whimpering a little bit.

“She's over there. Wayward's taking care of her. She just has a bloody nose, that's all. And Suzy's okay too. She just feels bad about Maddy falling,” said Amber.

Now Whitney was looking down at me. “I got the first aid kit. I ran straight to the tack room for it because I figured we would need it. You shouldn't try to move. You may even be in shock.”

“Yeah, wow! I've never seen anybody faint before,” Molly said. I could tell how impressed she was by the sound of her voice. “You just fell right over. Like a tree. One minute you were on your feet, and then
bam!
Right over!”

Hearing Molly say that made my legs feel weak and trembly. The memory of what it had felt like washed over me. Like getting hit by a wave in the ocean. Except it was the ground that had knocked me down.

“Is Maddy okay? Is she hurt?” I asked.

“She's fine. Really. It looked bad, but it was just a bloody nose,” Amber said, squatting down over me. “Are you sure you're okay? You scared us to death!”

“Yeah, I think so.” Prickly blades of grass poked into my bare arms. I sat up slowly. I still felt a little dizzy and disoriented. A few feet away from us, Wayward was bending over Madison.

Maddy was sitting in the grass, holding a wad of gauze up to her nose. On her cheek was a streak of dried blood, but other than that, she looked slightly normal.

But the second I saw her I started crying, and I couldn't stop. I leaned forward and rested my arms and head on my bent knees, so at least everybody couldn't see my face. Someone sat down in the grass beside me and started rubbing my back.

I knew it was Maddy. I could tell by the smell of her shampoo. “I'm fine, Babykins. I just got a nosebleed. I didn't mean to scare you so bad. And then you scared us.”

I turned my head to the side and peeked at her out of one eye. “Are you sure you're okay? There was blood everywhere!”

She pressed the wad of bloody gauze against her nose. “Yeah, I know. It must've looked pretty grisly. But really—I'm okay. I just bumped my nose into the back of Suzy's neck when I fell off. Good thing my shirt's red, huh?” She ran her hand across the front of her red polo, and I could see that there was a darker red stain all across it.

“What happened?” I asked, still in this choky, crying voice. “Why did you fall?”

“Well, between the hay bales and the vertical, Suzy should've taken it in two canter strides, but she did it in one. As soon as she started the takeoff, I knew we were too far away from the jump.”

“Yeah, I saw that too, and I thought, ‘Uh-oh, not good,'” said Wayward. She was checking Suzy over and patting her shoulder. “You're okay, aren't you, girl? No swelling. No sign of injuries.”

Madison smiled at me. “See, I'm fine; Suzy's fine. It's no big deal. I've fallen lots of times before.” She was still
rubbing my back in a circular motion. It reminded me of the way Mama used to rub my back when I was little and she was trying to get me to fall asleep.

I'd never fainted before. Ever. I still felt very weak and shaky.

“I think you both need to see a doctor, just to make sure everything's okay,” said Whitney. “If you want, I'll run back to camp and alert Eda.”

“Nah, they don't need a doctor. But maybe you should both go see the nurse. Tell her what happened and she'll probably give you a popsicle,” said Wayward. “Was that wild, or what? Bloody nose, fainting. Intense! Everything's Zen now, though.”

I couldn't believe what Madison had just said.

I turned and looked at her. “Really? You've fallen lots of times?” Madison was such a good rider. I'd never even heard about her falling off
once,
much less
lots of times
. Why was I just now hearing about this?

You'd think that kind of thing might come up at the dinner table. Oh, by the way, I fell off my horse today and almost broke my nose.

“Just about everybody falls at some point. I usually just get up and brush myself off.”

“You mean when you're jumping? That's when you've fallen?” I asked. Did Mama know about this?

“Yeah, sometimes. But I've fallen when I was cantering, too.” She looked up at Wayward. “How many times have you fallen off a horse?”

Wayward shook her head. “Too many to count.”

“Why do we do this if someone could get hurt?” I suddenly yelled.

Madison shushed me. “Calm down. No one's going to get hurt.”

“You just did! You're covered in blood!” I was practically screaming now.

“But I'm fine. I'm not really
that
hurt,” Madison tried to assure me.

I knew people took falls on horseback. That was something I'd sort of always known about in the back of my mind. But so far I'd never fallen.

So far.

But Madison and Wayward fell? Too many times to count? They were good riders. Experienced riders.

Why were we involved in such a dangerous sport?

Was it really worth it if someone could get hurt?