Fallen Angel (The List #3) (10 page)

“Exactly, B.
He
suggested it. It’s a
great idea. It’ll give you more time together, like an extended test drive.”

“Well, it’ll give me time to find a place to
rent, which means I can hopefully move straight in after our weekend away.”

“That would be ideal, provided you find the
right place. You’re more than welcome back here until you do. Remember that. So
anyway, I can’t believe you’re in an actual, proper, real life, relationship
with him. Talk about taming the beast… You’re going to make beautiful babies.”

“Whoa, slow down. I’m more than happy with taking
it one day at a time. Practicing making babies with him is way too much fun to
be getting serious anytime soon.”

There’s no need for her to know that Jax can’t
have children. All that matters is that I’ve made the decision to start seeing him
by using my heart and not my over-analytical head. I fell in love with him
against my better judgement, it wasn’t a choice, it was a given and that’s the
biggest wake-up call I’ve had. Hopefully one day, he’ll come to love me too.

I’m trying not to think too far into the future
but Miss Sensible, although she’s still not convinced of the decision to be
with Jax, has already pointed out that should Jax ever change his mind about
children, there are always ways around achieving that, like donated sperm,
fostering, adoption.

Okay, okay stop now.
I want to concentrate on
Jax and I for the time being. Nothing more.

“
Wow
. ‘Earth to Bethany, come in Bethany’.”

“Wow what?”

“
You
. I’ve never seen you so caught up
and…well, happy. It’s practically oozing out of every pore. Love damn well suits
you girl! You deserve this and from the sounds of it, you’re doing a fine job
at practicing too! In fact, lemme see your list.” I squint my eyes at her,
considering how long to keep her in suspense. “C’mon, this is
our
creation
remember. It seems to have played a crucial part in nabbing you the hottest man
in England, now gimme.”

In a predictably weak defeat, I throw my phone
across the rug where we’re sitting in our usual spot on the floor.

“What the fudge, B? I’ve only been gone a week.
How the hell—?” I giggle at the sight of her eyes becoming wider and wider as
she scrolls up and down, taking it all in. I’m immaturely, epically proud. “Shut.
The. Front. Door. You
have not
tied Jaxson ‘built-like-a-brick-shithouse’
Carter up?”

I knew she’d call bullshit on that one. If it
wasn’t for my extremely vivid memories of that afternoon, I’d find it difficult
to get my head around it too.

“O-oh yes-s, Wills. Is it pathetic that I’m
super proud of myself?”

“Absolutely not! So you should be. Jeez, he
must really trust you.”

“Yeah, he does. He is pretty amazing. The way
he makes me feel so beautiful and sexy and empowered—like nobody can please him
the way that I do. Remember, we always said my aim was to let myself go so I
can find my true self? Well, I feel like Jax beat me to it. He found me first without
even realising and showed me the way… God, that sounds so cheesy but it’s
true.”

Wills leans over and squeezes my hand.

“Beth, that is total cheese on toast, but it’s also
awesome. The guy seriously cares about you, that much is obvious. The evidence
from the get go is deafening; taking you home after finding out about Mike,
taking you to the hospital, letting you stay, taking care of you, all of this—”
She lets go of my hand and tosses my phone back to me. “—it’s incredible, B. I
told you at the start that he was a player, but it looks like he’s willing to
change the game for you. Now
that
is huge.”

“I’m glad you see it the way I do. It feels so
good to be with him. I really think this can work, even though we’ve had an
unorthodox start.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, B. I’m hardly
one for rules. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve spent your adult life stuck in a
box wearing rose tinted glasses—”

“Cheers, Miss Warm and Fuzzy, don’t sugar-coat
your opinion on my behalf.”

“Pssh, sugar-coat, shit-coat, what’s the point?
It’d be a waste of my breath when we both already know the truth. You’ve
stepped outside of the box and your new lease of life is lovely to see.
But
,
I wouldn’t be the most awesome bestest friend
ever
if I didn’t say that
as much as I want you to throw caution to the wind, just be careful. I don’t
want to see you getting hurt again.”

“Oh I know, trust me. The difference this time is
as much as it
would
hurt me, I’m not afraid to walk away. I’m not trying
to prove anything to myself. I won’t make the same mistake as I did with Mike
because I’m not trying to strap myself to a dream by trapping myself in a
nightmare.”

And I completely mean it. As much as I want to
be with Jax, once bitten, twice shy.

“That’s my girl. So…
sexting
then huh?
Spill!”

“Well
actually…
that was when I was in
the bath and you were on the phone to your mom…”

I trail off, letting her fill in the blanks.

“Hang on, hang on, let me get this straight. Whilst
I was on the phone finding out my dear grandfather had passed away, you—Miss
Whiter Than White—were upstairs finger-bombing yourself in the bath to Jaxson’s
smutty messages?”

She’s trying her hardest to look serious but
it’s a lame disguise hiding her obvious amusement at trying to wind me up.

“Kinda, yeah. I obviously didn’t know you were
upset otherwise…”

“Oh just shut up and gimme back that phone. I
have
got
to read these.” I bat her hand away. “No fair.
Pleeeease
.”

“Not a chance, Wills, sorry. What I will say is
that it was
all
him. I just had to lay back and enjoy.”

“Argh! That is fucking sexy. My God, you’re so
annoying. I think I preferred it when you were undersexed. Dammit, you’re
getting more action than me for the first time and you’re not even sharing.”

“That’s because this is different. You only
ever divulge intimate details about sex with casual flings or one night stands.
Jax is neither so for now all my dirty talk will be for Jax’s ears only.”

I flash her a wicked grin and finish my wine
whilst she folds her arms across her chest in a fake-ass tantrum. After a
minute she caves with a massive smile and asks, “What kinda dirty talk
exactly?”

God, I love her.

Wednesday 22
^nd
April 2015

11:35am

W
hilst packing up my room I reflected back to my
frame of mind over a month ago when I unpacked, after splitting up with Mike.
So much has happened. I’ve grown as a woman and learned more about myself
during this time than I have in years.

I have got so much to look forward to; new relationship,
new place and a new buzz about Next Chapter.

I bounced some ideas off Ed yesterday, which
gave us both a boost of enthusiasm. I’m attending a seminar for small
businesses in London at the end of next month to help keep my creative juices
flowing. I’m hoping it’ll give me enough food for thought that I’ll be able to
make some decisions about where I’m taking the business next. In the meantime,
Ed has trained Holly up like I asked, so if I do end up expanding, she’s ready
to step up and cover Ed should I need his experience elsewhere.

Last night I surfed around online, checking out
what property rentals are available within a reasonable commuting distance from
Next Chapter. I want to keep Jax, Wills and 24/7 nearby.

I honed in on a couple of possibilities that I
think I’ll go and view, even just to get a feel for what you get for your money
in rentals. The bonus being that if I rent a furnished property at first, I only
have to buy the other bits and pieces I need like bedding. I’m already fighting
the urge to write a ridiculously long list! Maybe even a list of lists; things
to buy, things to do, people to contact…
Okay, I’m not doing this now.

After packing the last of my belongings, I move
my suitcases and bags to the top of the stairs just as the doorbell goes. Wills
has gone to collect Sonia from the airport but they’re not due back for a while
yet.

I jog downstairs expecting to find a salesman.
The peephole reveals the back of a tall, stocky man.

“Who is it?”

“Smiler, it’s Will.”

I unlock the door and swing it open to welcome
Wills’ dad.

“Hey you, it’s great to see you.” He hasn’t
changed a bit and wraps me up a bear hug. “Come in, come in. I wasn’t expecting
you… is Wills?”

We walk through to the kitchen.

“If you’re asking if Sonia knows I’ll be here,
then yes, she does.”

“Sorry, just trying to work out if I need to
get out of the way sooner rather than later.”

He takes a stool at the island.

“Don’t be daft.” Will nods when I point to the
kettle. “So, Wills just told me you’re shacking up with your new man.” My jaw
drops and I purse my lips at him. “
What?”

“She definitely gets her straight talking from
you, huh? And no,
Mr Sedgwick,
I’m not shacking up with anybody. I’m
just staying with a guy until I find a place to rent.”

“Don’t go all ‘
Mr Sedgwick’
on me, Smiler.
Nobody’s judging here.” He holds his palms up in surrender. “You do what makes
you happy. That’s what I always tell Willow. Life’s too short to live with
regrets. I wish I’d realised that when I was your age—believe me.”

“Everybody has regrets, Will. That’s kind of an
unavoidable trait of life isn’t it? How else do you learn and grow?”

“You’re right. If you learn from your regrets then you’re not living with them,
are you? So if you have a chance to right your wrongs, I say go for it.”

“Why do I get the feeling we’re not talking
about me anymore?”

“Ah-ha. I see Willow has rubbed off on you. You
never used to say boo to a goose.”

“I’m getting there. Tea or coffee?”

“Tea please, no sugar.”

“I’m sweet enough.”

We chime in unison and laugh. It’s something
Wills says, which she evidently also gets from her dad.

“I hope this new man of yours can handle a
strong independent woman. Is he gonna come and pick you up today, so I can meet
him?”

I burst out laughing at the thought of having
Will vet Jax for me. I can only imagine what an impression Jax would give him.

“No he isn’t, thankfully. And quite frankly,
the thought of having two testosterone pumped men eyeing each other up on my
behalf—doesn’t fill me with much hope of a positive outcome.”

“I’m just saying, I’ve a knack for spotting a
wrong’un—Wills gets that from me too.”

“Well then, I’m sure Wills will tell you her
verdict on her own accord. He’s a good guy.”

“Is ‘good’ good enough though? Look, we both
love my daughter and she loves the bones of you. You’re a sweetheart who
deserves to be happy. So I don’t care who this guy is as long as he treats you
right.”

“Well, thank you. That’s sweet of you. And yes,
his kind of ‘good’ is more than enough for me.”

My phone starts vibrating on the island in
front of Will as I bring him over his drink. He passes it to me and trades it
for his cup of tea. I see Jax’s handsome face lighting up the screen and my
stomach somersaults in that delicious way he is completely responsible for.
It’s a selfie of the two of us sitting on the bench in his yard, with the sun beaming
across our faces, but still failing to outshine our smiles.

Will looks halfway between curious and serious
but I do appreciate his thoughtfulness because I know it’s completely sincere.

“I’m just gonna take this.”

Will has already zoned out, reaching for his
own phone to make a call. I skip out of the kitchen and into the lounge.

A short phone call later and the excited
butterflies are fluttering harmoniously around my tummy, at the prospect of
driving over to Jax’s in a couple of hours. Hearing his voice always has the
same girly effect on me. I feel the pull to be near him, to touch him and be
surrounded by him.

That reminds me, I’ve got a cute little
surprise for him that was delivered to the doorstep this morning. I may keep
hold of it a while longer though. I don’t think I’ve got the patience for
anything that causes me to have to hold myself back tonight. I’ve said good
riddance to my period for another few weeks and I’m eager to make up for lost
time. Hallelujah!

Jax only called to ask me to pick up some
Guinness on the way over. Apparently, Jack is there and he’d picked up a load
of ingredients for Jax yesterday but now he wants to make some kind of punch drink.
The lovely thing is, he is cooking me his favourite meal tonight. He has been
marinating the meat since yesterday and if it’s his favourite meal, I’ve every
faith that it’s going to rock my taste buds. Then afterwards, he can rock my
taste buds again.

Startling me out of my dirty daydream, Will
appears in the doorway.

“Hey, you want me to bring your things down?”

“Ah yes please Will. We can take them straight
into the garage and pack up the car now if that’s okay?”

I follow him upstairs and grab the smallest
case whilst Will takes the heaviest. We make our way up and down the stairs
over a couple trips, taking everything out to fill up the car.

Job done. I shut the boot and turn to head back
inside.

“Beth, hold on a minute.” We stand on the
threshold of the garage and the look on his face makes me feel nervous. Not
frightened, but anxious for some reason. “I wasn’t trying to pry earlier. It’s
just, I care about you. My daughter may be the life and soul of a party with
plenty of friends but you’re the only true friend that she’s ever let in and
kept hold of. You’re the kind that sticks for life and that means a lot to me,
as a parent.”

“Well, you and Sonia sure did make a wonderful
child together.”

Will looks off to the side, reflectively. The
power of his presence reminds me of Jax. They have a similar energy. One that
calmly states;
‘Don’t fuck with me, my power reaches way beyond strength’
.

“Circumstances have meant I’ve not been in Willow’s
life consistently—like I’ve wanted to. But we’re still close and I’ve never
stopped watching her back, although from afar. I have eyes and ears wherever I
need them to be and she’ll always be protected by me, even when she doesn’t
realise it.” The way he speaks reminds me again of Jax again and the way he’s
able to make me feel untouchable. “How else would she have grown up to be such
a tough cookie, huh? Well anyway, I’m telling you this in confidence because
part of protecting her means protecting those that she loves; you. Give me your
phone.”

Mesmerised, I take my phone out the back pocket
of my jeans, unlock it and put it in his outstretched hand.

“What are you doing?”

I hear his phone ring once and then he hands my
phone back to me.

“Giving you my number. Now listen carefully—”
God, you could hear a pin drop. I can’t help but listen when his mannerisms
command my attention in some Godfather figure type way. As he’s about to
continue, we hear the horn of Wills yellow Beetle honking out the front, announcing
their arrival. “—I want you to call me if you ever need anything. Anything at
all. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Beth?”

“Erm…
Nope
.” I answer honestly. “Unless
this is a really inappropriate and lame attempt at hitting on me…”

Will shakes his head at my sarcasm and laughs.

“Trust me, Smiler, there wouldn’t be any
confusion if I was. I’m not
that
rusty!” I don’t doubt him for a second.
“Okay. What I’m saying is that if you are ever in trouble and you need
somebody, no matter how…
legal
your predicament, I want you to call me
without hesitation. Even if you don’t want Wills involved.” My face possibly
looks bewildered with a smidgen of ‘what-the-hell?’ He clearly doesn’t realise
that my version of getting into serious trouble is being caught smoking a
spliff. “I’m serious. Okay?”

“
Hello
. Beth. Dad. Where are you?”

Wills shouts from the front door, but Will
still has his eyes determinedly fixed on me. He is waiting for an answer.

“Okay, Beth?”

“Yes. Okay, I understand… And thank you, I think.”

What the fuck was that? He’s talking as though
danger is looming. I guess he means well and I suppose it’s handy to know if I
need anything dodgy, he’s my man. Somehow I think that stretches further than
buying a bit of weed too.

2:20pm

“Sonia, it was great seeing you. I’m so pleased
you’re back to stay.”

She is so full of natural beauty like Wills,
with her free spirited vibe that echoes through her daughter also. She really
is a beautiful balance of her parents.

“Aw thanks Beth. It’s going to take some
getting used to, but it feels good to be with Willow in the UK again. I think
it’s what Dad would’ve wanted for me.”

Sonia stands to give me a hug, reminding me of how
long it’s been since I’ve hugged my own mom. I almost get choked up, which she must
sense because she gives me an extra squeeze, keeping her arm around my waist.

“And Will, always a pleasure. As you’ll be
sticking around the West Midlands for a while, we can hopefully all get
together soon. Maybe go for a drink or a bite to eat. I know Wills would love us
to.”

“Sounds good to me Beth, especially if you’re
bringing male company to even out the ratio a bit.”

I roll my eyes at his persistence as we all
head out the front door.

Wills is already outside, having moved her car
off the drive so that I can pull out of the garage. I’ve left some boxes in
storage here. They’re not in the way and it saves me having to take them to
Jax’s. It’s just ornaments, memory boxes, DVDs, photo albums, all that sort of
stuff.