Fallen Angel (The List #3) (41 page)

He presses me into him more
whilst I take comfort and strength from his very existence. The only part of me
that’s feeling crushed right now is my heart. I’m madly in love with Jaxson Carter,
the soon-to-be-murderer.

I’m sniffing and
gulping and breathing heavily, trying to stop myself from losing it altogether.
His shirt is soaked with my tears and I’m scared to break away from his
embrace. I’m scared to let go of him in case I’m
actually
letting go of
him.

“Beth, I will do
everything in my power to make you happy. I am selfish, I know that. I didn’t
think I could be the man that somebody as special as you deserved. But I know
in my heart that nobody could want you more than I do, or make you as happy as
I will.”

“Jax, maybe I could’ve
gotten over everything you’ve told me, except now you’ve just said that one day
you will kill somebody—how do I even begin to process that? I can’t see how we
have a future together with that hanging over us.”

“We can. I will win
back your love.”

“There’s no need. You’ll
always
have my love—that could never change. But maybe love isn’t always
enough. You must understand how hard this is for me… After everything you’ve
told me, I should probably be out of here by now, deleting your number and
figuring out how I’m going to get over you.”

“But that’s not what
you want?”

“I don’t know what I
want. I need time to think properly.”

“So you’re not walking
out on me. We’re not over.”

“I didn’t say that
either, Jax. Right now, I can’t see a way through this. I swear to God, I’m
hurting so much and there’s no denying that it’s because of you.”

I move back to face him
and we hold hands at our sides, interlinking our fingers. The touch of his
skin… He is everything to me and he feels the same about me. I know he does.

“I’m so sorry, Angel.”

“Jax—I know that you
love me.” His brow furrows a little in shock. “I know that when you took that
shot in Devon, it was me you were talking about. You won’t tell me because you
don’t want it to be this way—under these circumstances. But I just need you to
know, that I already know. I see it every time you look into my eyes. I see it
in that secret smile you reserve especially for me. I don’t need to hear it
Jax—I can feel it. I can.”

“Beth—”

“I’m saying this so
that you know when I walk out of that door now, I am going fully aware of
what’s at stake. I just need space and time. But most of all, I need to be away
from you for however long it takes.”

My tears have since
faded and the knot in my stomach seems more bearable somehow. I know that I
have to do this. Walking away from him is going to be one of the hardest things
I’ve ever done.

I reach up to kiss him.

Our lips slowly press
together and I close my eyes. The softness of his beautiful lips against me is
incomparable. Kissing him is as easy as breathing and arguably as important.

I deepen the kiss
giving him permission to do the same. He takes control subtly and allows his
tongue to caress my mouth. Slowly and sensually, making love to my mouth with
his. He shows me in a kiss, how much I mean to him.

I’ve managed to block
out all of the crap that’s just happened between us. That needed to be set
aside for a few short minutes whilst I let myself unashamedly fall in love with
this kiss, over and over.

The pure emotion that
flows between us is raw and authentic.

My hands wander slowly
all over his body. Embedding every ridge of every muscle into my head again.

“Beth.” He speaks
between kissing. “Why are you memorizing this?”

He talks without
breaking contact and I feel the flutter of his breath on my skin.

“I need to.”

“It’s not necessary.”

“You don’t know that.”
I whisper and then kiss him again and again.

Jax pulls away and
holds my face, looking me determinedly in the eye. I see confidence there but I
also see sadness and some doubt. He knows that could have been our last kiss
just as much as I do.

“Beth, I know you want
space but I don’t want to let you go.”

“I love you, Jaxson.”

I pick up my bag and
open the door. When I take a step through it, I become frozen to the spot. This
is the hardest part.

I turn back to face him
and let that all-important word ‘goodbye’ leave my lips. But Jax rushes
forward, slamming into my body. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me with
a fire that knocks me off kilter. Lifting me up in a tight, passionate embrace.
His kiss is unrestricted. It’s overwhelming, full of love and need.

It’s our relationship
represented in a kiss. It’s beautiful.

No matter what has
happened in our lives, this love right here is undeniable.

I pull away as he
grounds my feet. I feel more emotional now than before, yet this time there’s
no tears. I’m beyond tears. Jax rubs our noses from side to side, with our
foreheads pressing together. The intensity in his eyes is mesmerising. God, I
love this man so fucking much but how can I accept that he is going to kill
somebody?

Unlike me, my tears
still don’t fall.

But
I
have.

I have fallen.

“I will catch you,
Angel. Whether you let me or not.”

T
hank you so much for reading Fallen Angel, book
three of The List Series. Beth’s journey certainly isn’t taking us along the
easy route?

You’re all set to finish Beth’s journey in
style with the last instalment of The List Series. Always Angel (#4) will soon
be ready and waiting patiently to take you on the final ride of The List Series
with Beth. Please add me on social media and follow my Amazon author page for
future updates about Always Angel (#4).

When the time comes, I can promise that you’ll
need to brace yourself for a white knuckle finale. All you need are fingers for
crossing, some breath for gasping and a pair of lovely lips for biting.

For news and updates be sure to follow me on
Instagram
@novelkindoflove
and add my
Facebook page
, Novel Kind of Love. I
also have a
Facebook closed group
for readers who’ve read beyond Lost
Angel, it’s
Jax’s Angels
, so please join that group to meet other
readers of the series and have some fun!

I’d be really grateful if you took a moment to
leave a
rating
and a
review.
It doesn’t have to be long but
reviews are very much appreciated so thank you.

Many thanks for giving your precious time to
reading what I’ve written. That concept still blows my mind.

N
K Love is a sucker for a beautiful romance,
especially when it comes with a bucketful of face fanning. Her partner doesn’t
share her obsession and there’s always eye rolling whenever she gets giddy or
teary over a great scene in a book or on screen. When she isn’t reading or
writing, she’s probably being a child with her children or being a loner with
her coin collection. Yes, I said coin collection, don’t laugh!

Follow N K Love on Instagram @novelkindoflove
for tempting teasers and daily interaction. I’d really love to hear from you,
so drop me a message on there or over on my Facebook page – Novel Kind of Love.

F
irstly, a huge amount of gratitude to you,
whoever you are. You are lovely. I’ve no idea what led you to picking this book
but whatever it was, thank you! I often cross my fingers and hope that my books
reach the eyes of like-minded people who will embrace the characters just like
I do. Smiling is infectious and I really hope I can put smiles on faces of
strangers.

To my social media peeps. I can count on my
hands the amount of people who know who N K Love really is. So you guys are
pretty much the only people I interact with about writing on a daily basis. You
won’t realise that your support means so much to me.

A very special mention to the founders of Jax’s
Angels
Audrey
,
Lex
and
Em
– Your selflessness and sheer
loveliness is awe-inspiring. #3FS #justtoclarify #angelhugs #insyncangels
#honorarybrit #honoraryredneck #portabellend #Jaxtime #noasparagus #wormary
#tribeforlife To name but a few! I absolutely love you girls.

To my real life heartthrob and alpha-male, who
lets me dive into my crazy, beautiful book world whenever possible and who
inspired me to create that world in the first place. You have and will always
be my ‘4eva always’.

To my children, for continuing to blossom
beautifully, even when Mommy was attempting to blossom a book… or four. You are
my reasons for striving. Thank you for always reminding me not to take life too
seriously.

To my big sister, the recipient of many random
conversations when I wanted to bounce filthy ideas off her. I’m sorry your
little sister isn’t as sweet and innocent as some would like to believe. Thank
you for being the person to say
‘go for it’
and during the darker days
,
‘keep going’
. I needed to hear that.

To my little sister, who never got bored of
hearing me say
‘Please can you…?’
and who continually comes through for
me. My social media guru and technical genius. Having you at my fingertips has
been imperative and I can’t thank you enough.

To Kimberley for the amazing proofreading—you
are truly awesome—and for telling me when you had to take a cold shower, that always
gave me the boost I needed. Thank you for lending me your brain and your
precious time, for I will be eternally grateful for your invaluable
contributions.

F
uck It List

1. Blowjob

2. Handjob

3. Cunnilingus

4. Sex in a workplace

5. Sex in a car

6. Sex in the shower

7. Multiple orgasm

8. Get a tattoo

9. Get a piercing

10. Sex on the beach

11. Phone sex

12. Cybersex / Sexting

13. Tantric sex

14. Get stoned

15. Use food / ice
sexually

16. 69

17. Kiss a girl

18. Tie somebody up

19. Be tied up

20. Watch a porno alone

21. Watch a porno with
a partner

22. Do a lap dance

23. Do a strip tease

24. Sexual role-play

25. Make a sex tape

26. Sex outdoors

27. Go to strip show /
live sex show

28. Be spanked

29. Hit somebody

30. Kinky sex