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Jackson looked over at me and I tried not to cower.

“Don’t even look at her.” Ruben demanded.

“She’s here isn’t she?” Jackson pointed out, missing the point completely.

Ruben laughed humourlessly. “Right. She’s here, but if Mase hadn’t been going out, then who knows how long she would have been outside. Jesus Christ, she’s pregnant for crying out loud! You should never, ever speak to anyone like that, let alone basically telling a pregnant woman that I would take
our child
away from her because of where she lived.”

Jackson cringed, Taylor sucked in a breath and whispered his name in shock, Mason gave a low whistle and Harper said, “dude, that’s not going to go down well.”

They’re reactions almost made me want to laugh.

Almost, but not quite.

Jackson put a hand to the back of his neck and looked to the floor but didn’t speak.

“If that’s not enough, you call her stupid, ignorant, ungrateful and you compared her to
her mother
!” Ruben was back to shouting by the end of his sentence and I walked up behind him, giving him my support by putting my arms around him and resting my forehead on his back. I squeezed him lightly, silently telling him that he’d said enough.

“You did what?” Taylor whispered, looking directly at Jackson. Her skin had gone pale and she held a hand to her chest.

“Now baby gi...” She cut him off.

“Don’t. Now is not the time for you to try and be sweet. That poor girl, she never did a thing to you. We were trying to be
supportive,
remember? Help them solve the issues between them. Not alienate a twenty year old pregnant young woman! The things you called her are bad enough, but to threaten a pregnant woman with losing custody of her child before it’s even born? That’s not something
my
Jackson would do. You stop and think about your little girl and how you’d feel if she was taken from you.” She shook her head and looked at me. “I’ll apologise that I brought him with me to your home and left you with him. I’m sorry he said those things to you. When you decide that you’ve made him grovel enough for you to forgive him, then I’ll forgive him too. Until then,” she swung her eyes back to Jackson. “You can sleep on the sofa.”

He opened his mouth but didn’t get any words out before she stormed down the hallway and shut the door behind her. The ‘click’ seemed to echo in the silence that followed.

“We’re...umm...” Harper started, pointing her thumb in the direction of the front door. Mase looked between his brothers a couple of times before nodding and following her out.

That left the three of us. Ruben hadn’t taken his eyes off Jackson, I wondered if everything was stuck on repeat for him, or if he was still trying to get control of himself.

I whispered into his back, “Ruben, I’m really tired. Can we just talk about this tomorrow? I haven’t slept well without you.”

I was tired, but I wanted to ease the tension more.

He immediately turned, grabbed my hand and lead me back up the stairs. I looked back over my shoulder and Jackson stood facing the window, massaging his own shoulders. He glanced back at the same time I did, the guilt, pain and regret that I saw written all over his face was enough for me.

Ruben had said to me years before, “It might have been the wrong thing to do, but at least your heart was in the right place.”

That definitely applied. No matter how angry everyone else was, I couldn’t stay mad at him. He was trying to do the right thing, just went the wrong way about it. God knows I’d made
more
than my fair share of mistakes over the years.

Taylor was wrong, I didn’t need to make him grovel because he was punishing himself enough. I’d already forgiven him.

Chapter Nineteen

Ruben

The anger pulsing through my veins seemed to be anchored to my heart and I couldn’t shake it. Lydia seemed to be stuck on auto-pilot as I dried her off and gave her clothes to put on, but each word she said was lashing at my skin. She was so trapped in her mind that she hadn’t even realised she’d announced that we were having a baby. My heart leapt.

My own brother, my flesh and blood, I couldn’t believe the things he’d said to her.

Of course, he wasn’t exactly known for being the most diplomatic of people, but that was just uncalled for. What made it worse was that he hadn’t apologised. He stood there and let me shout at him, but didn’t once say he was sorry.

I lay down next to Lydia and linked our fingers.

“So,” I started. “We’re having a baby?”

She bit her lip and nodded her head. You could tell she was happy about it, but worried about my reaction. She shouldn’t have been.

“You happy about it, love?” Lip still captured between her teeth, she nodded slower, nervously. I smiled and whispered, “We’re going to have a baby.”

I could be pissed that she hadn’t told me straight away. I could be even more pissed that my family knew before I did. But what was the point?

She was back, she was safe and we could work on getting her to place where she could be happy with us.

As a family.

As a unit.

The thought of being a dad didn’t scare me, not even slightly. I actually wanted to jump from the bed, beat my chest with my fists and drag Lydia to my cave...figured that would be a tiny bit odd though, so I just lay there staring into her eyes.

“You...? Um, you’re happy too? We’re young, Ruben and we’re not married yet.”

“Oh yeah. Damn right, I’m happy. We’re not married, but we’re engaged, it’s not like I didn’t already want to spend the rest of my life with you. We always wanted kids, so we’ve started earlier than we expected, it just means we can have more!” I joked.

She giggled. Jesus, I loved that sound. “Yeah, maybe not. I know you’d have me birthing a football team, but that’s not going to happen.”

A thought suddenly occurred to me and I turned serious.

“Do you think we should go to the hospital?” I asked.

She frowned at me. “Why?”

“You’ve been through a lot today, emotionally
and
physically, maybe you should get checked out, make sure you and the baby are ok?”

She smiled and her eyes lit up and I knew then that she really believed I was happy about our baby.

“No, I’m fine. I’m sure the baby is fine, but I have an appointment with a midwife tomorrow anyway.” She grinned and I could see the real excitement in her eyes. This is what she wanted, what she’d always wanted, this kid would be the luckiest kid in the whole damn world to have her as a mother.

I couldn’t help but ask, “So, um, how long have you, um...”

“Only since yesterday. I wouldn’t have hidden it from you Ruben, I promise. I was just getting my head around it first and things between us are not good, I just...I wanted it to be a happy occasion.”

I understood what she meant and honestly, I knew she wouldn’t have kept the baby a secret for long, even if she was refusing to talk to me at the time.

“So
we
have an appointment with the midwife tomorrow?”

“Yes...” She went on to explain everything that would happen and that she’d be having an ultrasound during the appointment because she had no idea how far along she was.

“How do you even know this? It’s not like you’ve done it before.” I raised an eyebrow, she seemed to be an expert.

She blushed. “I may or may not have spent the last twenty four hours reading every page I could find on pregnancy, on the internet.”

I laughed and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead and breathing her in.

My girl was in my bed, for the first time
ever
.

In my home.

In my arms.

My girl was back.

But I still had something I needed to say.

“Don’t just forgive me though, Lydia. I know what you’re doing by twisting everything and make it partly your fault, but that’s not true. Everything about this is on me and you wouldn’t have been so cautious about asking me things if I hadn’t have hidden my life from you to begin with. But I swear to you, right down to my soul, I’ll be nothing but honest from now on...even if you ask me if your butt looks big!” She laughed and pinched the skin over my ribs lightly.

“My butt never looks big!” She scoffed, not really offended.

“I know. But you need to know that I mean it. I will never, ever lie to you again.”

She looked into my eyes and squinted, studying me, gauging my truthfulness.

Laying her head back down, she spoke. “I’m not saying everything is going to be perfect, Ruben, because I don’t trust you completely. But I will. So at least we have somewhere to start.”

I couldn’t argue with that.

*~*~*

Lydia

I woke slowly in the morning, feeling smothered by the hard body surrounded me. I smiled and looked at the clock, then my eyes shot wide when I saw the time.

I never slept late. Ever.

I had been an early riser for as long as I could remember, and I had never had a full night’s sleep since I’d lived in London. So to say I was shocked when the clock read ten am, was an understatement.

I untangled my legs from Ruben, and slid out of the bed as quietly as I could. If the bags under his eyes were anything to go by, he hadn’t been sleeping well either. I rolled over the tops of the joggers I was wearing so that they didn’t fall down, and left the room.

I needed tea.

Even though it was Ruben’s home, I didn’t really feel comfortable walking around by myself but I started towards the lounge, assuming the kitchen would be next to it. I knew someone was awake because I could hear the TV in the lounge, but when I reached it, the room was empty.

I heard babbling from through the archway right in front of me, so I followed the noise.

I stood, fidgeting nervously. Jackson sat at the kitchen island, his beautiful daughter in the high-chair in front of him and although he was smiling at her, it didn’t reach the rest of his face.

I cleared my throat and his head shot up.

“Good morning, Jackson.” I whispered, and then bit my lip.

“Um, morning,” he muttered. He nodded his head towards the coffee machine in the corner. “That’s probably still hot enough if you want some.”

His lips twitch when he saw me cringe.

“Not a coffee drinker then?” I shook my head and walked to the kettle. Then I realised I didn’t know where anything else was.

“Um...”

“Mugs in the cupboard on the left, tea-bags and sugar are in the drawer in front of you, just push the middle of it and it’ll open automatically. Milk is in the fridge, which is to the right, behind the second cupboard; you have to push that too.” He explained, without me having to ask.

“Thank you.”

I made my way around the kitchen, feeling his eyes on me as I walked. He was assessing me, and even if he was somewhat of an utter fucking idiot the day before, I held my head high because I wanted to be good enough.

I made my tea and then panicked. I shouldn’t have panicked because it was nothing, but I didn’t know what to do with the used tea bag and I was so freaking nervous, that my hands were shaking.

I didn’t notice Jackson move until he reached around me, grabbed the tea-spoon I was holding, threw the tea bag in the bin under the island and put the spoon in the dishwasher.

I still didn’t move.

Get a grip, Lydia!

“You can sit down, you know. I’m pretty sure it’s safe.” Jackson said, sarcastically.

The real Lydia fought her way to the surface and snapped at him.

“Oh really? Sure you’re not going to insult me again, or threaten to have my child taken from me?” I cringed when I finished. I was better than that.

He just stared at me until I sat down on a stool at the island, facing him. We squared off for a few beats, neither one of us willing to break eye contact or back down.

Eventually he sighed.

“I’m sorry, ok? I’m not very good at the apology thing, but here goes. I knew when I was saying them, that I shouldn’t have been saying the things I said to you. As much as I still believe
some
of them were...are...true, it’s not my place to get involved and I’m sorry. I hadn’t seen Ruben looking so shit in years and it affected me in ways that I didn’t think it would anymore, now that he’s an adult. But he’s my little brother, the baby of the bunch and I guess I still feel like I have to protect him. But that doesn’t mean I should have done what I did, and for that, I really am sorry.”

My lips turned up on their own and his eyes focused on my mouth.

“You’re not as bad at ‘the apology thing’ as you think. But what you failed to realise is that, I didn’t need your apology. You felt bad and you regret it, I already knew that because of how you looked last night. I’m not denying that some of the things you said, albeit harsh, were mainly true. But it’s Ruben that you should be apologising to because you should have trusted him to be able to handle this by himself because, like you said, he’s an adult. No, it wasn’t going well, but he would have found his way to get through to me because he has the skills to do that. I’m guessing, from the amount of love that is clearly covering every inch of this house,
you
taught him those skills.”

I could have been wrong, but I almost thought I saw Jackson blush! Big, bad-ass Jackson Brent...blushing!

He nodded, “You’re right. But you still deserve an apology because I know what I said hurt you. Maybe subconsciously, part of me really wanted to do just that. Thing is, I don’t doubt what you say; I have every faith that Ruben would have stalked you with his actions and words. He would have told you every day how much he loved you and how sorry he was and you would have eventually caved and forgiven him.”

He was right, I couldn’t deny that.

“But what about next time? He’ll fuck up again, so will you and it’s pretty damn clear to me that he’ll beg forgiveness and you’ll forget it ever happened,
again
. But when do you have to take responsibility for your own actions? That’s why I did what I did. You can’t keep blaming him for everything that goes wrong because it’s a relationship – it takes time, trust, togetherness and more than anything...
compromise.
I just think it’s something you both need to work on because, I know I don’t know you and I only have Ruben’s side to go on, but it doesn’t sound healthy.”

I shrugged. “Hate to break it to you ‘
oh wise one
’, but I’d already figured that out by myself.”

He blinked. Then blinked again and straightened from the island. “Well...good.”

I giggled. Not such a bad sort, I thought, definitely overprotective, and more than a little bit of a know-it-all. But not a bad guy.

Harley chose that moment to laugh along with me and seeing as Jackson had just given her a spoon full of baby rice, she sprayed it all over me. I stopped laughing and stared. I could feel the saliva soaked oats dripping down my face and see clumps in my fringe.

A rumbling noise sounded close to me and blinked up into Jackson’s face. As soon as our eyes met, his rumbling laugh turned into a full blown howl and he threw his head back. His shoulders bounced with his laughter, causing my eyes once again to be drawn to his arms. He might have been Ruben’s brother, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t look. There was no denying that he was hot, not my type, but still nice to look at.

He was too big, too brutal to be my type.

We sat for a while, as I tried to scrape the remaining oats off my face and hair. His laughter died down and he quickly pointed out that I had to get used to such scenes. Realistically, I knew this.

We were halfway through a conversation about fourteen year old Ruben, him telling me stories that I knew nothing about, when he eyes went to the archway and froze.