Authors: D. Breeze
All rights reserved.
Published March 2015.
‘Fake’ is a work of fiction. Any and all names, characters, places and/or events described in this book are works of fiction. Any similarity between this and real persons, living or dead, events, establishments or location are purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offense to the content included as it is fiction.
This book also identifies product/object names and services known to be registered trademarks or service marks of their respective holders. The author acknowledges the trademark status in this work of fiction but the publication of said trademarks is not authorised, associated with or sponsored by the trademark owners.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Copyright ©2015 Danielle Breeze.
“Cover design ©Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs”
All rights reserved.
Sweet little Lydia Romero
Innocent little Lydia Romero.
Do-what-you-want-because-she’ll-put-up-with-it Lydia Romero.
I’m not going to bitch and whine about it. I actually don’t even know why I mentioned it.
She was so stupid and so fucking naive, Lord knows how she actually managed to survive the first fifteen years of her life, buried in the cesspit of filth that, in the end, could have killed her.
But she did.
And she’s still surviving. No. Not just surviving. She’s living and she’s doing it happy.
That’s it. That’s all you’re going to get from me about the old Lydia Romero.
Now I’m just me.
And the past is the past.
My future is bright, it’s lively and it’s fun.
For eighteen years of my life, I never had a real reason to smile, even if I thought I did.
Then I truly did.
Sometimes in life, it’s just too easy to look up at the sky and truly thank God for the gifts he has given you. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t say I had much to compare it to, but this gift was so huge, so monumental, that I knew God loved me anyway.
The best thing that has
happened to me by far. Actually the only real good thing that
ever happened to me.
I love him.
So much that it hurts to breathe when he’s not around. He’s my first love, my only love and regardless of how ‘young’ I am, he’s the only person I’ll ever love.
Truly. Unconditionally. Eternally.
It’s an odd emotion to voice usually. Except with him.
Oh he knows it.
He knows exactly how I feel because he feels it too. It’s like he was my destiny and I was his, as ridiculous as that sounds, it’s true.
He’s my soul-mate and I’d lay down my life for him without a second thought. That’s just how important he is to me.
But not always.
There was a point in my life when I really thought I could hate him. He burned me, right down to my soul and if I could have fled and never looked back, I would have. He didn’t let me though, he never would.
And that’s why I love him so much more.
It’s also why I needed to tell our story.
Because holding a grudge is
And love isn’t.
But it’s definitely worth it.
I fucking hate my boss with a passion. He’s that much of a prick that it really is no surprise that he’s in his mid-forties and has been divorced five times, or so I was told. I know what he saw when he looked at me, just a poor little girl with no hope of going anywhere in life.
He was wrong though because my life was only just beginning.
Regardless, I hated him and he acted like the feeling was mutual. Case in point.
“Are you listening to me, Laura?” He spat as he stood towering over me as if he was trying to look intimidating.
“For the thousandth time, it’s Lydia!”
“Semantics. The point is, I’ve just walked around this park for less than five minutes and I’m disgusted with the state of it.
“How difficult is it for you to pick up rubbish? It’s not rocket science. Or do you just wander around looking as insolent as always and not actually doing anything? Hmm?”
I just stared at him. It is not my job to pick up rubbish. He just loved to give me shit. Hence the fact that I hated him. Prick.
I raised an eyebrow, then ignored him altogether. I guess you could say I had a slightly bad attitude but I worked my arse off for that park and I definitely didn’t deserve to have to listen to his crap.
He must have known that he wouldn’t get anywhere with me because he grunted and stormed off.
I chuckled. Glancing at my watch, I sighed in relief when I noticed that I only had ten minutes left. A ten hour shift at a theme park is enough to drain the energy out of anyone.
“Honey, I’m home!” I called, as I closed the front door.
I say ‘closed’, it’s more of a shove-it-with-your-shoulder-until-it-eventually-clicks...sort of thing, but I’ve learned to live with it.
“We’ve got to get that door fixed babe, it’s not safe.” Was Ruben’s response.
“Not safe? It takes a few kicks and shoves for it to open! Any burglars would have to be pretty damn determined to get in here. Oh, and
haven’t got to do anything, I’ll get it sorted when I’ve got money.”
I got ‘a look’. I knew what that look meant, he was not impressed. He never really did appreciate any sarcasm when it came to my safety. I couldn’t really blame him exactly, but it had been months since anything had happened, I felt safer anyway.
Plus, he didn’t even live there, it wasn’t his responsibility, he just never seemed to understand that.
I grumbled under my breath light heartedly and shuffled over towards him. My stomach rumbled as I smelt the food cooking.
“You didn’t have to cook honey, I could have made something.”
“You left for work at six this morning. I told you I’d be here tonight; I’ve grilled steaks for us. Sit down, chill out, and I’ll bring it in. You want water? Or wine?”
“I have wine?” I asked, knowing full well that I didn’t.
“You do now.”
He. Was. A. God.
My mouth was salivating; he’d always been so good to me, but steaks
wine? I wondered what the occasion was.
“Wine would be great, thank you. Are we celebrating?”
A funny look crossed his face. That had been happening more and more often, but I chose to ignore it.
“No babe, I just wanted to treat you.”
“You shouldn’t spend your money on me, Ruben! How many times do you need me to say this?”
I didn’t want to argue with him, but this discussion always seemed to lead to that. I hated the thought of taking anything off anyone. I despised it. I know it’s stupid, sort of. I just wanted to prove that I was perfectly capable of looking after myself, and I am...perfectly capable that is.
“Not tonight Lydia, just let me do this for you ok? I had some, um, spare cash left over this week and thought it’d be nice. I can take it all and go home if you want?” He raised an eyebrow.
He had me there. He knew full well I wouldn’t say no to steaks. My stomach groaned loudly again and he smirked. That man always did know what’s best for me.
Snuggling down under the covers that night, I pulled her into my arms. The mattress was lumpy and there were a few rogue springs. It always gave me an ache in my shoulder, but I didn’t complain.
I’d sleep on that shitty mattress every day for the rest of my life if it meant she’d be right there with me.
I told her I’d move in, I’d help with the bills and food etc, but even before I’d mention it, I always knew she’d say no. I didn’t really know how I’d make it work either, but I’d figure something out, I always did.
She was so determined to be independent, to do every single thing by herself, I really didn’t understand it. It was almost as if she doesn’t realise that she had been taking care of herself since she was barely out of nappies.
Steak and wine is not a real luxury for most people. A treat maybe, but not luxury. For her it was.
“Do you miss being a child?” She asked, randomly, as we lay in bed.
“No, why would you even ask that? I’d never go back to those times.”
She shook her head against my shoulder, but continued to stare at the ceiling.
“Not that. I just mean, being a little kid, when you didn’t realise how hard life really was, and your biggest problem was choosing what colour nail varnish your doll was going to wear that day.”
I tried to avoid the question.
“I never was much of a fan of dolls.”
She giggled and slapped me on the stomach. I pulled her tighter to me, touching my cheek to hers. My distraction didn’t work.
“You know what I mean! I’m trying to ask a serious question here.”
I sighed. “Babe, I never even had that. I don’t even remember a time when I was happy as a kid. But I’m happy now, I’ve been happy since I was fourteen and I’m even happier now that I have you. The past doesn’t matter anymore.”
“When you say things like that, it always makes me remember just how much I love you.”
“You forget?” I asked.
She looked me straight in the eye. “Never.”
Her lips hit mine but as soon as our tongues met, it was like fireworks were going off above us and heat surged straight through me. Didn’t matter how long we’d been together, every kiss, every touch, still sent my pulse racing. She pulled back, then pecked my lips once more, lay her head back on my shoulder and we settled in for the night.
Before I slept, I remembered what she’d said and added, “I love you too babe.”
I thought she was sleeping, but she answered.
“I know you do, honey. We’re all each other has now, just me and you.”
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly went dry, as it did every time she said something like that. I hated lying to her. I hated lying to everyone, but I didn’t have a choice.
“Yeah babe, just me and you now.”
I lay silent until I felt her breathing slow and I knew she was sleeping. Rolling her to her side, I slid my arm out from underneath her and sat up.
Nights were always the same. The silence was taunting me, giving me too much time to think.
Everyone said I’d always been the smartest one, the one who could do anything, but I didn’t feel that way. I felt like a fraud. I
a fraud and I couldn’t see any way out of the mess I’d created. I could solve everything for everyone else, trust me, I’d been tried and tested.
But my own shit? Nope.
Not a thing.
I was caught in a web of lies that I had no one else to blame for.
Jesus, I could have given Lydia the fucking world if I could have just figured out a way to fix the mess I’d created.
But I couldn’t. I was stuck. And because I was stuck, so was she.
I looked down at her beautiful face and clenched my teeth. I wished she knew.
Rubbing my hands roughly across my face, I let out a muted sigh. There really was no point in torturing myself but I couldn’t help it. One lie turned into the next and they were all escalating - at pace.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something huge was about to happen, and not a good huge.
A really, really
I shook my head.
Just a feeling, not reality.