Envious (40 page)

“See, Eric. Thank you for pointing her out to me. I would never have found her on my own!”

“Hey, no problem, Jules. She set for a break?” he asked, shuffling the paper shopping bags he held from one arm to another.

“Yeah. Actually, Sandy, you’re all done.”

“Oh, okay,” I replied.

“Sandy, you’ve gotta come see what I’ve been working on,” Eric told me. “Got some time?”

“Uh…” I said, unsure if I wanted to go. Questions ran though my head. I needed answers, but was he ready to give them? “Yeah, alright.”

I walked up the stairs by his side. When we reached the top, I stopped to catch my breath. Eric waited patiently.

“These stairs are killers,” he mentioned with a laugh. “They should put in some elevators.”

We walked into a full classroom. There must have been fifteen students in there, all drawing and chatting. I felt incredibly out of place. I followed Eric closely as he took a large sheet of paper from a rack and placed it on a table away from the rest of the class.

He casually sat down on a stool set before it and asked, “What do you think?”

I looked carefully at the paper, examining the chalky black smears across the page. It was a mass of confusion with lines spread everywhere. I searched for some familiar shape but everything seemed so scattered. I thought I saw a horse, maybe a man. “It’s nice,” I lied. Well, maybe it wasn’t a lie. Maybe if I knew what it was, it
would
be nice.

“Liar.”

I looked at him.
Did he just call me a liar?
“What?” I asked.

“You don’t like it. That’s okay. It’s not done.”

I looked back to the paper. “What is it?” I asked shyly, placing my hand on the desk to lean in for closer inspection. I could almost see him smile.

“It’s a battle,” Eric answered. “For this project we’re supposed to not be literal. Sort of between academic and contemporary? I’m not really sure what that means, so I’m just trying to draw out the emotions you would feel. Right there’s the underside of a horse. See it? Like in shadow? And there’s a man being flung off another horse. There’s a spear, another one, a sword, shield, blood. Lots of blood.”

“Is that a hand?” I asked, pointing out something that seemed to cut through the picture with dark lines running over it.

“Yeah. See? You’re good at this. Kinda like a word jumble or something.
Where’s Waldo.
I have to get some references, but I like it. Hopefully it will turn out well.”

Eric placed his hand over mine. I flushed at his touch. He smiled sweetly up at me. I could see he was trying to think of something to say, but what? He furrowed his brow and looked back to the drawing.

I pulled my hand away from his. “Eric, if you think I’m going to wait forever, I don’t want to wait. I want to know, and it’s not fair of you to string me along like this,” I told him. He didn’t meet my gaze. My defenses immediately rose and I said, “And who says I want you anyway?”

He suppressed a laugh, but his smile came through. “This isn’t funny, Eric. Fine. Laugh all you want. This is just some game to you-”

“Sandy,” he began, still smiling. “You are so cute.”

I stared at him, unsure of what to make of that.

“I
have
decided. And if you don’t want anything to do with me, I’ll be very sad, but I won’t push you.” He spoke with a slight smile, confusing me even more. He was choosing
Aurora?
Or me? I searched his flickering blue eyes, trying to find the truth behind them.

“Sandra, I’m going to talk to Aurora after class. Today. I can’t put this off. I don’t want to. There’s a gallery opening tonight. I was hoping you-”

His words were cut short by a man who I assumed was the professor. “Eric, come bring your drawing over here. I was just talking with Adam about its composition and…” He kept talking but I stopped listening as Eric stood obediently and picked up his drawing. I slipped from the room. Eric looked sadly back at me, but I gave him a small smile. I didn’t stick around to be sure he got the message. I felt so embarrassed. When I talked to Eric, I forgot that he was in a class. Sure it was a small class, but I had spoken my feelings so that everyone could hear.
What had I said? Was I loud?

One thing was clear. Eric was going to talk to Aurora. But would she let him end it? Was he ending it? Why did he have to speak so cryptically? Was it because of the class? Of course it was. He wanted to be the one to tell Aurora, face to face, not through rumors. That happened once before, when someone told Aurora about Eric and my kiss last semester before he could. I hoped that was why.

1205

“Heodred, my brave warrior. Put down your blade,” I heard her say. Heodred did as she commanded, dropping his heavy sword to the ground with a clang. “See? It’s not difficult to follow me. Stay where you are.” He did not move. Aurora picked up his heavy blade from the ground, dragging it away from where he stood. She stabbed it into the sod beside her empty dress. Heodred stood, still as a statue as she pulled on her dress again. Heodred began to blink his eyes, slowly at first but then violently. His hands curled into fists.

As she tied up the laces of her gown, Heodred advanced at her, drawing a long knife from his leather boot, and sent its shining blade swinging at her, aiming to cut her throat. She noticed; her jaw went slack and her eyes widened. The princess stepped back as the blade’s dangerous arc sliced across her torso. Her blood splattered across the dirt and sprayed Heodred in the face. He wiped at the blood, trying to get it off of his eyes as quickly as possible.

Aurora stumbled backward and fell to the ground beside Heodred’s horse, spooking the beast again. The stallion reared on his hind legs, leaping away from her, and when his front legs fell, they fell on Heodred.

Heodred was slammed to the ground under his horse’s hooves. His horse reared up again, panic in its wild eyes, and sent his hooves down on his master once more. The chestnut stallion backed away from Heodred’s broken body. He lay helpless, gasping in pain as Aurora used his sword to aid in dragging herself slowly to her feet. She pressed her hand over her gaping wound, only able to cover a small portion. Blood ran down her green dress and over her hand. She coughed, her lifeblood spilling from her red lips as she stepped, hunched over, toward Heodred. She placed her foot over his hand, which still held his knife, grinding his knuckles into the dirt.

Heodred spoke between painful gasps, “Leave Eric be, you witch. And Cassandra…”

Aurora laughed and choked through her attempt. “As for Eric, he is already dead.” I felt another tear slide down my face. “I was planning to find and kill that girl you saved, but it is too late for that now. Eric is dead, but I have made sure he will be born again. As will I…”

She dropped Heodred’s own blade over his throat, slicing it open. Blood gushed and spurted from his neck. My heart shook with horror at the sight. She had killed him, Heodred. Killed him with his own sword. I choked back a wail. His body lay lifeless in a pool of blood. He deserved a better death than that. He deserved a better life than that. More tears fell and burned down my cheeks.

Aurora stumbled into the cabin, blood dripping a trail behind her. “In this life, you may not have realized it was I whom you wanted,” she spoke aloud to Eric’s body, “but you will know it in the rest. I’ve made sure of it. We will live many lives together. Eternity is ours.” She fell to the dirt ground of the cabin. I came away from my hiding place, watching her silently from the open doorway. I saw the terrible prince
ss reach for something. A vial.

CHAPTER 30

AN UNEXPECTED TURN

I huddled on my bed, trying to find a way through the hurt that ripped open my heart. Heodred was so dear to me, and I had not expected his fall. I pinched my lips together, trying to hold back a sob, but it came anyway. I broke down, tears streaming from my eyes and soaking into the bedspread. I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping for some sort of comfort. Heodred was dead. He died and I watched and did nothing. But I hadn’t thought he would die. He always seemed so strong, so untouchable. He had helped me. He had saved my life. And I watched as his horse trampled him and as his blood spilled from his neck. Aurora killed him without a second thought. She felt no remorse. No sadness or anxiety. Nothing. She was no woman. She was a monster. She was horrible.

Damn her, then and now! Damn her down to hell, where she can dwell in the darkest corners, under watch of the most merciless demons ever to find their place under the devil’s dark wing.

I was brought out of my raging, fuming thoughts by a light knock on my door. Wiping my now nearly dry eyes furiously with a tissue, I opened the door and saw Elijah.

“So,” he began. “You did something when you…whatever. After Eric was drunk the other night, he’s been so cool,” he said, walking into my room. “He’s like the way he was before.”

I sat back down on my bed. I felt so depressed. I knew why, but there was something else that had been at the edge of my mind for a long time now, and I needed to say it. I hadn’t even let my conscious mind know yet, but I had to let it out. Now, before it was too late.

“Elijah?” He looked intently at me. I looked up at him sheepishly. “What if Aurora wasn’t the problem? What if it was me all along?”

“What are you saying?” he asked, falling into
Bailey’s green foldout chair.

Would he have been happy with her if I had just stayed away like Aurora had wanted me to? “Eric started to change when I started to pursue him.
That
was when he started to lose his spark. Last semester.
I
was his problem.”

“No offense Sandy, but you’re wrong. It started when he met Aurora. I know. I was there. I’ve known Eric since we both came here, before he met you, and before he met Aurora.”

“But are you sure?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It was like watching a highway pileup. He met her and suddenly he seemed lifeless. You say it’s witchcraft, I say it’s infatuation, but either way, it’s not right. You got him away from that and now he’s going back to normal. It’s like you just put the batteries back in him,” Elijah explained in his relaxed manner. He leaned close, speaking clearly and deliberately, yet I still felt uneasy.

“Do you really think it’s over?” I asked, practically pleading for an answer.

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “You think Aurora won’t let it go?”

“Ummm,
yes
.” I told him, “Aurora will never let it go. She hasn’t yet, all these lifetimes later.” Elijah did that half roll of his eyes when I said “lifetimes.” I let a spurt of anger wash over me and tried to ignore it. “Elijah, I saw Eric’s past the other night.” He sighed in frustration. “Don’t do that! I’m trying to tell you.”

“What, Sandy?” he asked, attempting to let his annoyance slip away. He wasn’t entirely successful but it was enough for me to continue. I lay back, letting my head rest on my pillow for a moment before I began again.

“I saw myself murdered a while ago. I saw Eric kill me.” I watched as his face turned to pure horrified shock. “Someone was telling him what to do. How to do it. It was Aurora. She commanded, and he killed,” I explained.

“Why would she do that?” he asked, gritting his teeth.

“Because I was Eric’s wife. But Elijah, when I held Eric’s hand, I wound up seeing the same memory but from Eric’s perspective. He tried,” I said, forcing back a choke that threatened my voice. I closed my eyes, gathering my strength. “He tried not to listen to her, but she was too strong for him. She made him do whatever she wanted, until he killed himself.”

I looked back to Elijah and saw that he now stood at the window with his back to me. “Sandy, don’t you see how demented this is? It’s not normal to see-”

“I don’t care if it’s normal!” I yelled through dry tears. I spoke harshly, hoping my words would penetrate his thick skull, “I know it’s real. She has her ways and she doesn’t give in. I watched her kill Heodred. She took his sword and chopped his head off. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.” Then I gasped. A realization entered my mind that I had not thought of before. I knew that I was risking myself by challenging Aurora. But I had also been risking Elijah. If she could kill Heodred, then she could easily kill Elijah. I couldn’t risk losing him too.

“Go, Elijah,” I told him, “Leave, Tony. Go. Get out of here. Get away from me.”

He whirled around to face me. “What are you saying? I’m sorry I don’t believe that-”

“Just go!” I lowered my voice and slowly said, “I don’t want you involved in any of this. Stay out of this, and stay away from me.”

He looked me in the eye, narrowing his dark eyes. His face didn’t seem as adorable as usual. His jaw was tight, his brow drawn low. For the first time since I met him, he looked his age. “I don’t understand you. I try to help. You let me help. You
begged
for my help, and now? What
are
you doing?”

“Just go,” I rasped, harsh and cold like Todd would.

“Fine,” he shot back. He strode out of my room, slamming the door behind him. A wave of guilt swept over me.
Should I have told him why? Would he have listened if I told him?