Envious (38 page)

I wanted to hold my love, but Aurora still kept me from her.

When Aurora was satisfied from the passion she had made, she lay next to me, breathing deeply in the pounding rain. I looked at her, tried to show the hatred I had for her. Tried, and did. She closed her eyes gently and I felt my hands come under my control again. I could feel. I could move the way I desired.

I dove for my sword, the sword that lay next to my Cassandra’s body. I had no time. I had to rush. I felt the tug on my body as Aurora tried to enter my mind, but I pushed through it. I shoved myself forward and took my sword by the sharp blade. I raised it up and buried it deep in my chest. Searing pain surged through my broken body. I fell beside my Cassandra. Crumpled next to her, I took her precious hand in mine. I wept and begged, “My love, I am sorry. I never meant for this. I ask not forgiveness, only that you may rest with the angels. My love, you will always be my love, Cassandra. I will love you forever. I am truly sorry, my beautiful Cassandra.”

I heard Aurora yelling to me, trying to take over, trying still to control my heart, even to the very end. But I held her hand, my Cassandra’s hand. Darkness came and I could no longer see. I felt Aurora’s hands tearing at me, and then I felt my soul slip away.

CHAPTER 29

FOLLOWING LOVE

Tears burned trails down my cheeks. I looked at Eric and saw that he too had tears streaming down his face, flowing like rivers from his eyes.

I saw it. I had seen Eric’s memories. I had felt Eric’s past, been inside his mind. And he still held my hand.

He slowly sat up on his bed, looking me in the eye through blinding tears. “Cassandra…” he breathed shakily. “I…”

“Eric,” I began. “I understand.” I squeezed his hand and he pulled me up to him, locking me in an earnest embrace. I felt his warmth, the irregular beat of his heart, his heavy breathing. I pressed my hands against his back and his arms tightened around me. My cheek pressed against his and our tears fell together.

Eric’s heartbeat slowed and steadied. His face fell to my shoulder and his hold on me loosened. His arms fell limply to his sides. I pulled back from him slightly and saw that his eyes were closed. I gently guided him to lie down. He was asleep. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, longing for the comfort he had given.

“Sandy,” Elijah began, “What was that about?”

I looked to him, wiping my tears from my face. “Elijah, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I stood and my knees threatened to buckle. Tom made a move to catch me, but I caught myself.

“Was that…?” Elijah began, letting his words trail off.

“I now know that Eric can’t stop her. If he couldn’t stop her when he knew me first, there’s no way he could stop her now.”

“He could,” Elijah begged, trying to bring me comfort. “He could.”

“No,” I answered. “She’s weakened him. Eric’s not the warrior he used to be.” I left the room, saying, “Take care of him.” I solemnly walked down the hall. Eric couldn’t stop her. Maybe I couldn’t either. But I could try.

I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I waited, and waited. The sun rose up over the treetops, light spread across the sky blue carpet, and still I waited. She would come. I knew she would. And when she returned, I would be here. I would be ready.

Elijah rushed down the hall to the upstairs lounge, where I sat on the windowsill, looking through the large window. I stared at the steps to the entrance, watching for Aurora.

When he sat beside me, I asked, “How is Eric?” My eyes never left the windowpane.

“Fine. Hungover. He doesn’t remember last night at all. The last thing he can recall is being at the bar.” Elijah studied my face. “What happened? You had a dream? Was that it?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

I looked him square in the eye. “Do you really want to know?”

“I just want to help. I want to understand.”

“Elijah…Tony. You want me to understand that I’m crazy, right? That was why you agreed to both of my ideas. I’m not stupid.”

“Well, just consider the possibility that these dreams aren’t real memories. Maybe you’re psychic and your mind uses things it will see to form a story in your mind,” he offered, seeming to realize how ridiculous he sounded.

I laughed and it came out sounding more mocking than I’d meant it to. “You would rather think I’m psychic than believe that I could have visions?”

“I think psychic mind games are a shorter stretch than reincarnations,” Elijah replied with venom. A realization seemed to surface in Tony’s mind. “Maybe your headaches are the cause.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sandy, you should see a doctor. Maybe there’s a medical reason for all these dreams.”

“Go away!” I told him.

“Just listen to me-” he said, but I cut his sentence short with a gasp.

“There she is,” I breathed. Tony followed my eyes to the window. “Aurora’s back.”

“What are you planning on doing?” he accused.

“Go back to your room,” I told him, distracted by Aurora disappearing from sight as she entered the building. Tony/Elijah slowly turned away from me, as I wished, shaking his head in disapproval. I waited until I knew she would be in her room, settling in, thinking everything’s fine. Then I went and rapped on the door.

Aurora answered with a puzzled look on her face. “Sandy, hi. I just got back.” She kept the door mostly closed. “Is there something you wanted?”

I was ready to take her on and tell her off. I shoved the door open all the way and saw Mike lying on my old bed. My heart stopped. He was lounging there as if he belonged. I looked from Aurora to Mike and back again. Which one did I want to tear apart first? Although realistically, I could never take them both, or either of them.

“Cassie,” Mike began, “How’s my slut?” My guts twisted, making me want to puke, or run. Or both.

“Shut up, Mike,” Aurora commanded him. He responded by casually looking out the window.

“Sandy, I…” Aurora let her words trail off. I could tell that she was trying to figure how to rectify the situation, but I wasn’t going to stay for her bull. I walked away, forcing myself to move slowly, to keep from running like a scared little girl. When I reached the stairs, I checked to see if Aurora had followed me, but she was not there. I rushed up to the third floor.

I needed to get focused again. Seeing Mike there with Aurora had thrown me off. My mind was spinning with all sorts of unproductive feelings. I needed to focus on my goal. I needed to see Eric, to have that little reminder of why I was going to risk everything by standing up to a witch with so much experience in warping the mind. And I wanted to convince Elijah that I wasn’t sick, but just as I reached the last step, a headache pounded through my skull. The pain clouded my vision and a wave of dizziness and nausea swept over me. I hadn’t felt a headache this bad in two months.

I steadied myself on the handrail, trying to keep from losing my balance, gripping the metal rod tightly until the pounding in my head began to subside. My vision cleared and all that remained was an awful ringing in my ears.

I pressed on. Reaching Tony and Eric’s room, I knocked and entered without waiting for permission. Elijah was reading on his bed with earphones on, and Eric sat up from his bed as I entered. He quickly pulled on a white t-shirt, as if embarrassed by his bare chest. He brought a hand to his head and winced through his hangover. I stood dumbly in place, not quite sure what to do.

I felt desperately close to danger since I had decided to bring down Aurora. I felt panicked, yet ready, yet scared out of my mind. One thing I had to do, for Eric and myself, was to give him some of the strength Aurora seemed to drain from him. If I attacked Aurora, I did not want her to use Eric so easily. I didn’t want him to fall under her spell so quickly. If Aurora called on Eric to attack me, there was no way I could survive, unless he hesitated for some reason. He needed a reason. I prayed I could give him one.

I closed the door behind me and Eric said, “Hey Sandy.” I winced
unintentionally. I had hoped he would call me Cassandra. I didn’t expect it. Only hoped. Wordlessly, I stepped over to where Eric sat, leaned down, took his face in my hands, and kissed his mouth.

To my surprise, he didn’t pull away. He briefly lingered motionless against my lips, then kissed me back.

Eric kissed me.
Then he pulled away.

Eric stood up with my hands linked around his neck, arms resting on his broad shoulders. I wasn’t letting him go, not yet. His deep blue eyes stared at me desperately. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. Instead he pulled his arms tightly around me, slouched down level to my face, and took my lips. Fire raged through my body, heating every inch of every limb. I felt his warmth, the tender touch of his lips on mine, the hungry feeling in his body and the thumping of his heart. His hands rubbed and groped my back as we kissed. He wasn’t pulling away. I wasn’t either. We were in our own world where loving each other was safe and Aurora couldn’t touch us.

His warm breath tickled my face as he took a short moment to catch his breath. I stood on my toes, afraid that a break in our kiss would mean the end of this feeling coming from him. I never wanted it to end. I wanted to hold him for all eternity. I asked myself,
Could he really feel the way I felt? Did he somehow recall the vision I had found in his touch last night?

“Sandra…” Eric breathed. He leaned his chin gently on the top of my head. “I…
You…” He searched for words. He sought an explanation of why I was here and what we were doing. I knew.
I knew…

I kissed just below his Adam’s apple and leaned my face into his neck, fitting perfectly against his warm skin. I felt at one with the methodical pulsing of his blood as it rushed through his body. I caught sight of Elijah, watching us, gaping in shock. I closed my eyes, ignoring it. Eric squeezed me tighter.

“How…how is, what…” Eric said, still making an attempt at a sentence. Then his mind seemed to snap back into full function. “Aurora,” he stated without any audible emotion.

“Forget her,” I spoke to his neck.

Eric pulled back from me. He kept one hand on my waist, but he set the other on his bed as he carefully sat down on the mattress, guiding me along with him. I sat beside him, gazing into his eyes, his deep blue, living eyes. He looked so alive. I hadn’t seen him this way in a very long time, since before I tried to steal him from Aurora. Since before I had ever kissed him.

“Sandra, I…” he began, guilt flooding his expression. He looked me in the eyes and I looked away. I couldn’t bear to see his face while he pushed me away again. I couldn’t take the rejection. “Sandra, I feel torn.” Looking to his face, I saw sadness take over. “I see you, and my heart,” he paused, swallowing quickly, “My heart says go for it, but I can’t. There’s Aurora.”

“But there doesn’t have to be,” I pleaded with him, squeezing his hand tightly in mine as tears threatened my eyes. My heart was slowly breaking, falling to a thousand pieces in the bottom of my chest.

“But there is.” This time he looked away. My bottom lip quivered and a lonely tear fell down my cheek. I breathed in a shaky breath. “Cassandra, I just need time to think.” A small whimper came from my throat. Eric squeezed my hand tightly in his. “My head’s so trashed, I can barely speak right now, but I promise, I won’t take long. I
promise
,” he added with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He glanced at the clock and sighed. “I have to get to work. Sandy, I’ll see you later?” He stood, pulled a sweater over his head and left the room, face flushed, looking guilty.

I realized Elijah was still there. He hadn’t moved from his place on his bed and he was still staring. He watched me in disbelief. I looked away. I felt so embarrassed, crying in front of him.

I had an ill feeling that Eric would forget me as soon as he saw Aurora. My mind reeled from the past few minutes. How could he respond so well to my kiss? If he were under Aurora’s control, how could he act on potential feelings for me? Was he drifting away from her? Was her power over him weakening? Or was he just pretending?

Was he pretending that he needed time to think? Did he already know he would choose Aurora and he was just letting me believe I had a chance? Did he think he was doing me a favor?

He was stuck to Aurora. She had him. She was all he thought about. I knew it.
She
had him. He never wanted to kiss me. This wasn’t the past. He and I had had both changed so much. Maybe he would never love me again.

He wouldn’t, whether I got rid of Aurora, or not.

I stood sadly. I needed to leave before I broke down even more in front of Elijah. I stepped toward the door, turning too short, and bumped into Eric’s desk. A pile of notebooks slid off its surface and fell to the floor.

“I can get that,” Elijah offered, but I ignored him. I bent to pick the books up but stopped, my hand hovering over a drawing. Eric’s sketchbook had fallen open to a pencil sketch of a landscape. Rolling hills and tall grasses. Horses grazing in the distance. I did not know this place, though I felt as if I should. It was drawn with such emotion. It seemed so personal.