Entangled (Entangled Trilogy #1) (16 page)

“
Nothing, really,” I shrugged. I
really don’t know why he was so concerned about me all the time. I
mean, hello, I’m not fading from your life at the moment or
anything. Even though this sometimes perturbed me, I still found it
really kind and romantic. He wouldn’t let anyone look at me or even
touch me. He was a bit possessive of me and for some weird reason,
I liked it. I don’t know why but I just did.

“
Well . . . okay then. Let’s talk
about our Christmas wishes. You first,” he said tensely, looking
straight ahead, clearly not induced by my reply, but still
unwavering to alter the topic of our conversation onto something
else. If we were actually even having a conversation.

I smiled at his attempt at trying
to make small talk. Due to the dim lighting of the glum, freezing
night, I couldn’t really make out his features as we rocketed past
numerous streetlights. If I examined his face closely, which I did,
I can see the auburn curls carelessly falling onto his forehead. He
smiled, clearly sensing how admiringly I was watching him. My
cheeks unexpectedly felt very warm, despite the subzero temperature
outside, but I answered him at last, letting my gaze slip back to
the road.

“
All I want for Christmas is to be
able to spend the whole day with you. What about you?” I countered.
My wish was probably thoughtless and very common, but at the
moment, I didn’t really mind much.

“
Well, all I want for Christmas is
you. Nothing else; just you,” he said, turning slightly to face me,
smiling away. Even then, I couldn’t really see his face which
frustrated me even more. I turned to face him and the last thing I
remember seeing was his dimpled smile as a car zoomed past us and
the pair of bright, unnervingly blue-green eyes staring straight
into mine, trying to read me.

And that is when it all came
crashing down at that precise second when a car, deliberately,
collided into ours and both cars went skidding across the slippery
road, hitting a nearby tree.

Both cars skidded to a halt and I
fell out from my side because I was so stupid that I didn’t even
buckle up. I guess it is true what they say. Avoid the worst, put
safety first. I was unable to avoid the worst. My head came in
contact with the rock solid pavement and all I could see for a few
moments were dancing stars, all holding hands, probably playing
Ring-Around-The-Rosie. Shuddering, I tried to move my hand, only to
encounter even more pain as it coursed through my body and sent
more than necessary amount of blood flow to my brain. I could even
smell the coppery fluid and taste the metallic flavor. For some
reason, the accident seemed very premeditated to me.

My whole body ached even more as I
felt a pair of familiar, warm hands take my head onto his lap. In
the coldness, in the middle of all the chaos going on, I could’ve
sworn I heard a guy’s voice, probably in his early twenties,
laughing and saying, “Good luck with that!”

My vision began to slowly become
indistinct as my eyes began to close.

I could hear him urging me to keep
breathing, hold onto my life and not close my eyes. I knew he was
right above me, but for some peculiar reason, his voice sounded
very distant.

The last thing I remembered were
those beautiful eyes of his, fear, love and dismay written in them.
Holding onto that bit of memory, I smiled, knowing that he loved me
and he was safe, and inhaled my last breath.

* * * * *

I tried to get enough oxygen into
my lungs so that I could breathe. Tears were streaming down my face
furiously. Adrian’s face was filled with shock and his face was
gleaming with tears as he pulled me into tight embrace and I
whimpered. Did he just witness what I just saw? I held onto him as
if my life depended on it. Then, I remembered that fallen angels
can go through your mind to create any illusion they want. Adrian
could be a fallen angel for as long as I know. I quickly pulled
away from his grasp. My love for him was now replaced with
curiosity and anger.

I was somehow trapped inside my
nightmare, unable to do anything. This time, the person next to me
in the car was . . . Adrian.

“
NO! Roza, please don’t leave me
again. I can’t even—” Adrian started as he tried putting a hand out
at me to reach me, to pull me back into his embrace, but I took a
few steps back.

“Who are you? What are you?” I
asked and I hated myself for letting him see me in my vulnerable
state.

“I-I’m Adrian,” he responded after
a few seconds of hesitation.

“
Liar! You are not Adrian and you
never were,” I said as I ran out of the greenhouse and into the
streets. I tried to ignore Adrian’s voice, trying to get me to run
back into his arms but I was already far away from his arms and
even further away from my past than I’ll ever be.

* * * * *

I took the picture in my hand and
my heart broke even more. I had managed to get away from Adrian and
into the safety of my own room. I looked into the picture of my
mom, her strawberry red hair was dancing behind her with so much
grace, and it almost hurt. I missed her so much. I was back in my
room but I still didn’t feel safe.

“Why did you leave me? Why
couldn’t you stay with me?” I whispered to the picture, knowing it
was futile. I wish I could kill myself. I spilled the beans and
told the picture about the events of this “lovely”
evening.

“I wish I didn’t have to live this
stupid life. Why can’t you take me to the wonderland you are living
in right now?” I demanded as I felt a strong pair of arms snake
around my waist and pull me closer to the stranger.

“Rose! Don’t you ever say that!
Don’t you know what would happen to
me
if you were gone? What
would
I
do? Did
you ever stop to think that?” Elliot told me as he ran a hand
through my tangled hair. I hugged him and held onto him as I cried
into his shirt. I felt as if my heart was breaking into tiny little
pieces that I was sure would be hard to revive. He was like a
parent to me and I don’t know what I would do without
him.

“I’m sorry, Elliot,” I
whispered.

“It’s okay. I love you, lil’ sis,”
he mumbled into my hair. My older brother was protective of me and
I loved him for that but he didn’t know what was going on with me
right now.

“Elliot, if you truly loved me,
then you wouldn’t dodge my questions every time I asked you about
the accident,” I said and he immediately pulled away to get a
better look at me.

“Rose, are you saying that I don’t
love you?” he asked, his voice heavy with emotions.

“Well, I don’t really
know
. Do you love me?
I doubt that. I bet you that you lie awake at night, trying
to figure out how to get rid of me or something. Or maybe, you lie
awake each night, trying to find a way to kill yourself so you
could be free. Wait, that’s what I do, not you,” I said, my voice
dripping with all the venom in my heart.

“Rose!” Elliot yelled out
incredulously. That’s right, get mad at me and hate me all you
want. Maybe then, suicide will be much easier for me.

“Hey, the truth hurts but it is
the truth. And if I remember correctly, you told me to always be
truthful and never lie to you no matter what. Hey, I’m just
following orders, like
always
,” I snapped and crossed my
arms over my chest.

“Rose! What’s gotten into you? I
thought you loved me too. I’m your older brother for God’s sake,”
Elliot told me. His calm demeanor was pissing me off even
more.

“Are you my brother? It looks as
if
I
am the
adopted child while you are Darla’s actual child,” I said. I’ve
never talked about my mom this way but now, I didn’t care. All that
I could see was red. That color brought back so many memories, I
hated that color. The color of my mom’s hair, the color of love,
the color of anger and most importantly, the color of my
past.

“Rosemarie Allison Andrea Hathaway
Ross!” my brother exclaimed.

“Since when do you have the right
to use my full name?” I asked incredulously.

“Since you were born. Come and
talk to me when you are done acting like a bitch,” Elliot swore and
I flinched. He never cursed or even called me anything like that,
even if I do something immoral. “I don’t even know what’s gotten
into you. Just because you’ve had a bad day, that doesn’t mean you
should take it out on your big brother. I’ve always loved you and I
never thought that you would doubt that. I’ve always given you
everything you’ve desired but I never thought that what you really
desired was some stupid answers. I just want to keep you for as
long as I can. When the time comes, you’re going to have to leave
me,” Elliot said. “How do you think that makes me feel? I have to
let you go eventually so I try to make the best of every single
day. You have to respect me. I am older than you and I am your
brother.”

“Yeah, yeah.
When the time comes
. It’s always
like that with you. So ambiguous. I bet you Darla was like that,
too. I could see that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. How
would I know? No one’s ever told me anything,” I snapped as Elliot
recoiled, tears glazing his eyes sky blue eyes. Great, another
thing that both he and my mother had in common. “And resect, you
say? You have to
earn
respect, not
ask
for it.”

“Rose! I’ll be downstairs making
dinner. Just come and talk to me when you are done acting like such
an arrogant bitch,” Elliot swore again. I gasped. I guess he’s just
like everyone else.

“
Anything else on your mind?! Are
you done? Happy? Jeez, you’re just like everyone else. You all use
me and just want to get rid of me. You use me and once you’re done,
you think of the smartest way to get rid of me,” I said as I broke
down.

Elliot’s hand kept clenching and
unclenching. He walked out of my room, slamming the door to my room
and heart. I really had a calloused heart and mind.

CHAPTER 14

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE THINGS
THAT I WILL DO

Why is my life so stupid?
I didn’t even know that it was nine in the
morning until someone knocked on my door. I guess I was crying and
must’ve fell asleep from last night’s fight with Elliot. I heard a
knock on the door and I instantly jumped up on my bed, all alert
and ready to kill whoever was on the other side of the
door.

“Rose, please open up. We need to
talk. Like, really talk,” Savvy said.

“Go away,” I groaned.

“No! We need to talk, Rose,” she
said. I sighed and went over to open the door. Arguing with her was
like arguing with the sun. You can’t argue what’s obviously right.
As I opened the door, I saw her on the other side, wearing a simple
pink dress with short sleeves and pink pumps with her golden brown
hair pulled into a side ponytail. She looked beautiful as
always.
Why couldn’t I be more like
her?

Every time I looked into the
mirror, I saw a stupid, ugly girl with dull, pale gray eyes, bony
nose and natural rose colored lips that were somewhere in between
full and thin. Every time I looked at myself, I saw a girl with all
bones, no muscle. I was too thin and average. Savvy, on the other
hand, had flesh covering her entire body and she wasn’t too bony.
She was all pretty and my brother got to her before any other guy
in school. They were in a pretty serious relationship.

I led her over to my bed and she
sat down, looked around until her gaze settled on me. I looked up
to her and met her stunning gray-blue eyes which were now a pale
shade.

“Rose, sweetie, what happened?
Elliot told me about your fight last night and how you didn’t have
dinner. Why didn’t you eat anything? You’re going to get sick,”
Savvy said worriedly. She was basically like a mother to me. I
wouldn’t know; I never actually had a mother.

“Nothing happened,” I
said.

“Well, something did. Elliot never
yells at you; He told me that he was really hurt by what you said.
Why, Rose?”

When I didn’t respond to her, she
sighed and pulled me in for a hug.

“Remember, he just wants to look
out for you. He loves you, Rose. He doesn’t want to hurt you,”
Savvy said.

“Where is Ells now?” I asked,
giving in.

“He’s in his room, sulking
around,” Savvy smiled satisfyingly. “So, tell me more about this
mystery guy, Adrian,” she grinned.

“I don’t want to talk about
him.”

“Looks like you do.”

“Looks like I don’t.”

“Rose, just give the poor guy a
chance. He’s going to treat you like a queen,” Savvy reassured
me.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve got
Elliot,” I scoffed.

“Easy, don’t underestimate the
things that I can do. I can break up with him right now you know,”
Savvy challenged.