Embittered Ruby (37 page)

The water cascaded over her tense muscles and caressed her frozen skin. She might never get out.

Warmed, scrubbed, and pruned, Carmen turned off the water and toweled dry. Billy had left her a nice thick Broncos sweatshirt and a pair of sweats folded on the toilet. They swallowed her as she stepped into them, but they were warm and smelled good. Why didn’t she feel weird that he’d come into the bathroom while she showered naked? She felt safe with him for some reason. Hopefully her intuition served her well for once.

Was there a hair dryer somewhere? Carmen opened the vanity door. Nope. Toilet paper and Mr. Clean. How about there? She opened the closet. Ah. Bingo. But she’d let her thick hair air dry for a while first or she’d be standing there for an hour blowing it dry.

Towel draped over her shoulders to catch the drips, Carmen returned to the family room. “Hey, Sam. Didn’t know you were here.”

He nodded.

“Hope it’s okay I stay here for a while.” What if he hated the idea? Or hated her?

“Works for me. We needed a fourth roomie to cut the costs. And I heard you can cook.”

“That I can—”

The doorbell buzzed.

“Who could that be?” Billy looked at Carmen. “You don’t think?”

“Nah. How could they know I’m with you? And how would they know where you live?”

Billy pressed the intercom button. “Who is it?”

“Ben Bradley from Diamond Estates. Can we talk for just a minute?”

Oh no. Carmen’s heart sank as she locked eyes with Billy. They had found her already. What should she do? Why did Billy look so unconcerned? Was he high? That certainly wouldn’t help matters at all.

“Uh. Hi, Ben. Come on up. Third floor.” Billy pressed the entry button for a few seconds then released it.

“What am I going to do?” Carmen’s eyes searched the corners of the two-bedroom apartment.

“Listen. He’s not going to search the place. At least not while I’m here. So hide somewhere.” Billy shrugged.

Easy for him to be so casual. His whole life didn’t hang in the balance.

Carmen raced to the bathroom and stepped into the tub. Wait. What if Ben had to use the restroom and then found her there? Or worse, what if he
did
go to the bathroom and
didn’t
find her there. Eww. She stepped out of the tub and dove for the bedroom across the hall just as a knock sounded on the front door. Carmen scrambled to the other side of the bed and collapsed between it and the wall.

The front door squeaked open. “Hi, Ben. This is a surprise. Come on in.”

“Thank you.” Ben’s voice.

The door closed. Carmen strained to catch every word, every nuance.

“Listen, before you tell me why you’re here, let me just save you the trouble.”

Was he about to turn her in?
No. Don’t do it, Billy
. Carmen clutched the quilt on the bed.

“I’m sure my parents sent you here to talk some sense into me and Sam, right? I’m not interested in sense right now. In fact, I probably have more than my share of it.”

Smart. He was deflecting completely so Ben wouldn’t suspect a thing.

“I agree. We’re doing fine,” Sam chimed in. “Our parents didn’t need to send out the troops to round us up.” Way to go, guys.

“Actually, that’s not why I’m here. I’m looking for a girl—”

“Aren’t we all?” Billy laughed too hard at his own joke.

“Here, just take a look at her picture. Have you seen her?”

“Hmm. No. Can’t say as I have…”

“Well, I was given your names by some of the girls. Apparently Carmen has been witnessed with you three on more than one occasion. It was a natural assumption to think she’d be here.”

Carmen could picture his eyes scanning every square inch of the room as he spoke, hoping for clues of some kind.

“Let me remind you, Billy. Carmen is seventeen, and you are nineteen. That makes her a minor and you an adult. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Wait. Let me see that picture again.”

No! Billy, don’t rat me out
.

“Nope, I’m sure I haven’t seen her. That’s a face I would have remembered.”

“Hey guys. I’m home, and I brought the party.” Kansas breezed through the door holding a case of beer.

Where had she bought that? She was around the same age as Carmen. Wasn’t she?

Kansas set the case on the counter and swiveled toward the family room. “So, we have a guest…or a roomie?”

“I’m staying, if that’s okay.” Carmen shrugged.

“Great. It’s perfect. We needed a fourth, and I like you.” Kansas put her hand up to her mouth and pretended to whisper. “And Billy needs a girlfriend.”

“Hey. Would you cut that out?”

“Our pal Billy…well, he’s still the big V.”

What was she talking about?

“Kansas. I’m going to kill you,” Billy shouted from the bedroom.

“Oh, have a smoke and a beer. You’ll get over it.” Kansas winked at Carmen.

Did big V mean what she thought it did? Billy? Wow. If that were true…well, Carmen hardly knew anyone who was still a virgin. Except maybe Justin, if his girlfriend’s attitude was any indication.

Kansas popped open a beer and took a long swig then suppressed a belch with her hand. “Excuse me.”

Gross.

“Okay. Let’s just set down some ground rules so we can get right to living together.” She handed Carmen a beer.

Not Carmen’s first, of course, but it had been awhile. She popped the top and took several swigs. “Ground rules?” This should be good.

“I figure you’ll need a few weeks to get on your feet, get a job, that sort of thing. So we’ll take care of everything this month. We’ll share food and beverage, maybe even some weed now and then.”

“Don’t go crazy over there, Kansas,” Billy joked from the bedroom. Or at least half joked.

“In a month, you need to be pulling your own weight. You’ll pay a quarter of the rent and all household bills and put fifty dollars into the kitchen every week. We share everything. Sound okay?”

“Sounds great. Thanks for the help. I’ll pay you back for this month.” Somehow.

“Naw. Don’t worry about that. It’s our contribution to rescuing you from that place…from a life of zombiedom.”

Make it stop
. No matter how hard she begged, the marching band continued to trample all over Carmen’s brain. She rolled gingerly onto her stomach, careful not to shake the bed, and pulled a pillow down over her ears. They still rang. The room had stopped spinning at least—after she’d thrown up for the second time.

The banging in her head seemed audible. Could other people in the apartment hear it? Or were they listening to their own drumbeat?

Clearly Billy’s was a party house. Carmen would have to watch out. She didn’t want to spend all of her days feeling like she’d rather be dead.

Water. Must get water. She pried herself up from the mattress. The room started wobbling ever so slightly. The kitchen was so far away.…She flopped back onto the bed. She’d try again in a few minutes. If someone brought her water, she’d be a personal slave forever.

“Knock, knock.” Billy pushed the door open a crack.

Another one who says “knock” in place of actually knocking. Weird. “Ugh. You don’t want to see me like this. Really.” Carmen’s eyes flew open. “Why am I in your bed?”

“You mean you don’t remember?” Billy grinned, flashing two dimples. Where had those been hiding?

“Very funny. Seriously though…?”

“You had a little too much fun last night, and I thought you might stand a better chance of waking up feeling human if you slept in a real bed.” He sat on the edge. “Been awhile since you partied, huh?”

“Oh no. Don’t talk about it. It makes me want to throw up again.”

“Sorry.” Billy reached under her head and lifted. “Here, drink some cold water.”

Her hero. Carmen gulped it like she’d been in the Sahara for a week without fluid. It soothed her throat and calmed her stomach a bit. It even helped her headache while actually drinking it, but the throbbing returned as soon as she stopped swallowing. “Got anything for a raging headache? Anything legal?”

“Well, you sure didn’t make that
legal
qualifier last night.” Billy laughed.

“I know, I know. I’m just feeling a little guilty for acting like I did.”

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get over the guilt in no time.” That’s what she was afraid of.

H
ey, Nater. It’s me.”
Please don’t hang up
. “Carmen?” He sighed. “What do you want?” Ouch. “I just want to talk to you. I have to know how you are.”

“I’m fine. Was that all you wanted?”

“Nate, come on. Give me a chance. Talk to me.”

“A chance for what?”

“No pressure or anything, just a conversation. I need to know how your life is going. If you’re…you know…if you’re okay.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay. But that’s fine. I’m going through the motions. School. Work. Home. Whatever.”

He had a job already? So many changes. She’d done this to him. This was her fault. Why was she dragging him through the pain of this conversation, too? Just because she wanted to talk to him? Again, her wishes were overriding everyone else’s needs. “Would it be better if I let you go?”

“It would have been better if you hadn’t called. But now that the scab has been torn off, we might as well talk.”

“How’s school?”

“Is this really about school?”

Of course not. “Not really. Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m okay. Really. What did you expect?”

What had she expected? That he’d become a hermit mourning for her? That he’d gone on a hunger strike or stayed in bed all day and night pining away? No, probably more that he’d gotten married to someone else already. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just sorry.”

“Well there’s a start. Maybe you should have opened with that.”

“Probably.” What was there to say?

“How are you calling me? I thought you couldn’t call anyone but family.”

Oh man. Nate wasn’t going to like this at all. “I’m actually not at Diamond Estates anymore.” Points for telling the truth?

“Did you finish? Are you home in New Jersey?”

Did she hear a slight lilt of hope in his voice? “No, I’m actually in Denver living with some friends temporarily.”

“You ran away?” Disappointment singed the phone. “Some things never change, do they?”

Carmen searched her brain for something witty to say or some way to spin the situation. She came up empty. The silence went on.

“Well, thanks for calling. Take care of yourself. And…um…

Carmen?”

“Yes?” Carmen croaked.

“Don’t call again. I’m not up for more of the same.” The connection died.

“So what have you got that will make me forget everything?” Carmen lay on the family room floor watching the ceiling fan rotate. A few moments of relief from the regret. A little time to forget about Nate. An hour or two to not think about the baby and all she’d lost in the past year. And even to forget about Diamond Estates and what she’d given up in running away. She didn’t regret it. Well, not much. If only she could have seen what it looked like on the other side before she had to jump in.

“Hmm. Well, I do have some good stuff. But we’d have to use it while Billy’s out. He’d kill me if he knew I had it and again if he found out I gave you some.” Kansas checked her phone. “He leaves for work in fifteen minutes.”