Easy Silence (24 page)

“Well, now he has you, Sam.”

I nodded in agreement. “And, I will be there for him always. What happened to him, Pete?”

“Who?”

“The man the killed my mother?”

I could see the fury growing in Pete’s eyes. “The bastard got away with it.”

“Wh–what? How?”

“The police messed up with something a small technicality that violated his rights.
His rights…
that sick son of a bitch.” Pete raised his voice in anger. “Wayne Devon walked away a free man and never thought twice about what he did.”

Wayne
. I heard hatred in Jaxson’s voice so clearly in my head when he said that name as he told me about how evil he was to him. Jaxson was clueless that he was his father, and I knew that if he found out, it might send him over the edge. “If he’s Jaxson’s father, how come they have different last names?” I asked, hoping that maybe Pete was wrong.

“Tammy Callahan slept her way around, so when Jax was born, she didn’t know who the father was. She always assumed it was Wayne, but she wasn’t sure. He always vehemently denied it. Then when all this came about, the prosecution wanted to prove what a cold blooded animal he was, not only to shoot your mother but his own son, so they did a DNA test.”

“And, Jaxson, never knew that he was really his father?”

Pete shook his head. “Just as well. Jax despises him. He was ruthless to him when he was a little boy. And that so-called piece of trash mother of his is still in cahoots with him. She took him in right after the trial. She knew everything he did. She watched the surveillance tape, and she still took him in. Poor Jax never stood a chance.”

“Why didn’t the courts ever take him away from her to someplace safe?”

“He spent some time in foster homes, but she would always manage to get him back. I never understood why; she didn’t want him around, and then it finally dawned on me. Without Jax, she wasn’t receiving her state aid that she was buying her booze and her drugs with.”

“So, she used her own child?” I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath.

Pete nodded. “I really got to know Jax when he was around fifteen. He started working for me at the station, doing odd jobs. He was always there.” Pete smiled. “And I knew why. He didn’t want to be home.”

“I don’t know what to do, Pete? I don’t know if I should tell him or not.”

“I don’t think Jax can handle knowing that animal is his father. You don’t know half the things he did to him as a little boy, and I’m sure I don’t either.” He shook his head. “I don’t know, Sam. I know you want to be completely honest with him, but I think this is something that will completely break him if he finds out.”

As much as I hated keeping this from him, I knew it was for his own good. I almost wished that I hadn’t known myself. I hated my father for leading me to believe that someone else was my mother. It was all making sense now. The anger that my grandmother had toward my
so-called
mother today, the way she kept apologizing to me when she thought I was Brooke. She must have been the woman he was caught having an affair with, and then he had the nerve to pose her as my mother. My resentment was building just thinking about it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Bonnie asked as the bells on the office door chimed. “Sam, are you okay?” she asked, taking a seat beside me.

I nodded. “I was just telling Sam about Brooke.” Bonnie’s eyes widened at Pete, and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me into her.

“You can ask me anything about her that you want, Sam. My heart is filled with memories of her. I loved that girl like she was my sister. And you…you remind me so much of her. Your good heart. The way you stand up for what you want and believe in. That was our Brookie, and I know her spirit lives on in you. You were her world. Her little Sammy.” I could hear her voice cracking as her eyes filled with emotion.

“Thanks, that means a lot to me,” I replied. “Bonnie, do you know why my father never told me?” I asked.

“I have no idea, Sam. After it happened, your father cut all ties with everything that reminded him of Brooke, including Pete and me. I thought about you often, and that day when I first met you at the barbeque, I thought you knew all about her. I was shocked when you didn’t.”

“Well, was the woman he’s married to now…the woman that he led me to believe was my mother my whole life…was she the one who he was having an affair with?”

She raked her hand through her hair and nodded. “Your mom and dad had been having problems. Your dad was just starting out with climbing the political ladder. That just wasn’t the life your mom wanted to lead. He would go away on business trips, and she always had her suspicions. Then one day she caught him. She had come home early from visiting me and…” I shook my head, disgusted by everything I was hearing. “Supposedly her father had some deep political ties and that was more important.”

“I hate him,” I whispered. “Does—does my mother have any family?”

“Brooke’s dad died when we were in high school, and her mother died shortly after Brooke died. She fought so hard to get visitation of you, but she didn’t have the money or the legal power that your father had.”

“This is just all so surreal to me. Is she buried around here?”

“Yes, she’s at the cemetery on Church and Main. I go to visit her once a week with sunflowers, they were her favorite.”

I stood up and was overcome with a wave of nausea. I was walking out of here as a totally different person from who I was when I walked in. “I need to get going. Thank you so much, both of you, for telling me the truth.”

They nodded in unison. “I’ll get together all of the old pictures and videos of her that I have and give them to you. I think I may even have her diary from high school,” Brooke said.

“I’d like that very much.” I smiled.

“You got it.” She smiled back.

I dragged my feet as I walked to my car, feeling oblivious to everyone and everything around me. I had lost all respect for my father for keeping this from me. I hopped in my car, and without even remembering the drive there, I was pulling into the cemetery. Luckily it was a smaller one, so I was hoping that it wouldn’t take that much time to find her grave. I walked up and down the rows taking in the names and calculating the ages of some of the people at their deaths. Some people had lived a long full life while others had just started theirs. My heart skipped a beat when I looked down at the grave with the sunflowers on the ground. As I got closer, something told me before I even looked at the headstone that it was her. I traced my fingers over the outline of her name
Brooke Rose Carmichael
. She was only twenty-eight when she died. I sat down on the ground with my nerves getting the best of me, feeling as if I were meeting her for the very first time, and in a way, I was.

“Hey, Mom. I’m sorry that it took me so long to come and visit you, but I didn’t know.” I looked at the thick dark clouds in the sky, wondering if she was looking down on me or if she was really right there sitting beside me. I had hoped that wherever she was, she could hear me. “I wish I could have known you. I wish that you weren’t taken from me. Bonnie says that you and I are a lot alike…I hope she’s right.” The familiar burn overtook my eyes once again. “On the drive here I was thinking how much different my life would have been if this had never happened to you, if just me and you lived together and had a normal life, one without all the appearances, maids, nannies, money and fancy cars. I think I would have liked that so much better. I promise you that I will come and visit you all the time. I want to get to know you, and Bonnie is going to help me do that. I know that you’re really still here, and I can’t help but think that you had a little part in bringing Jaxson back into my life again. If you did, thank you.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand as the first raindrops began to fall. “I know one day we’ll finally meet, but until then, I promise to always carry you in my heart.” I kissed my hand and placed it on the headstone. “I love you, Mom,” I whispered, pulling my knees into me and burying my head into them, letting all of the emotion of the day pour out of me, crying for a mother I never knew, crying for a life that was a lie, and crying for a man I loved more than anyone in this entire world, a man who everyone seemed to have forgotten but was just as much a victim as my mother in this whole senseless tragedy.

After driving around aimlessly, I finally headed back to my grandmother’s. Eleven o’clock couldn’t get here soon enough. I couldn’t wait to have Jaxson in my arms and to silently thank him for what he had done for me. I went right into my bedroom, ignoring Hadley as I whisked past the kitchen. I was so angry. Angry at my dad, angry at my grandmother, and angry at Hadley. They all knew, yet they all chose to let me live a lie and not honor the woman who had given birth to me in the way that she deserved.

I shut my bedroom door behind me and pulled out my laptop. I needed to figure out my finances and get a place of my own as soon as possible. I didn’t want or need my father for anything.

“Just go away!” I shouted when I heard a gentle knock on my door. Like always, Hadley ignored my demands and came walking in.

“Is everything okay?” She approached me cautiously, taking a seat on my bed.

“Just leave me alone, Hadley. I have no time for liars, and you, my dad, and my grandmother are the biggest ones there are.”

Her eyes widened. “Sam, what on earth?”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me who my real mother was?!” I shouted.

She clasped her hands together and bowed her head. “It wasn’t my place, sweetie. I didn’t think it was right, but it was what your daddy wanted.”

“And my grandmother…she just went along with the sick twisted lie, too.”

Hadley feverishly shook her head. “No! Your grandmother…she loved Brooke like she was her own daughter. When she found out what your daddy did to her, she was ready to disown him. Your Grammy wanted to tell you, but your father told her if she did, then he would never let her see you again. Your Grammy was biding her time and was planning on telling you everything when you turned eighteen and your daddy no longer had control over keeping you from her. Then she got sick, and her mind…just went.”

I didn’t think I had anymore tears left in me, but I did. How could my father have been so heartless? “Why? Why didn’t he want me to know?”

Hadley took a deep breath. “Monica’s father was a congressman at the time their affair started up. He had some strong connections to ignite your father’s career. She could never have children and always wanted them. So, they got married, she legally adopted you, and to the public you were one big happy family…and Brooke and the whole tragedy never existed.”

“Why were you so hard on Jaxson when you knew what he did for me as a little boy?” She stared at me, looking shocked that I knew that information. “Pete told me everything, Hadley.”

“I- I don’t know. I was wrong. I was just so angry at what his father did to Brooke and the fact that he got away with it. Jax was always such a troubled boy. I guess I just assumed he was going to turn out just like him. I let my judgment of him cloud my thoughts, and I forgot that if it weren’t for him, then you wouldn’t be here right now. Shame on me for doing that.”

“Shame on everyone in this town for doing the same exact thing! My father included, I will never forgive him for doing this to me. He is dead to me!”

“Sam, you have every right in the world to be angry with him, but it’s not good to harbor all that animosity.”

“And, it’s not good to lie to your daughter for eighteen years just for your own political gain. He’s the best at what he does. He is a typical politician who will use anyone…including his own daughter to get ahead. Don’t tell me how I should feel.” She nodded. “I just…I really want to be alone Hadley.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“I saved you some dinner in the fridge, if you want—”

“No. I’m not hungry.” I lay down on my bed, turning my back toward her and closing my eyes.

“Okay.” She patted me on the shoulder and stood up.

Once I heard my bedroom door close, I opened my eyes and reached on my nightstand for the locket that Jaxson had given me. I smiled when I opened it up and looked at the picture of him and me inside. There was no doubt in my mind now that he was my soul mate. “I love you so much,” I whispered, pulling it closer to my heart.

* * *

The cool breeze coming through my open bedroom window awoke me. I smiled when I saw Jaxson, sitting on my bed, staring down at me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

I sat up and took him a little by surprise when I threw my arms around him and grasped on to him for dear life. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” I whispered kissing him all over his face.

“I-I love you, too.” It was still so hard for him to say it, but I knew he did, even if the words didn’t come easily to him. I pressed my forehead against his. “Jaxson, I’m going to start looking for places for us this week, and I need you to help me find a reliable used car. I don’t want anything from my dad anymore.”

“Samantha—umm…I wanted to save up a little bit more before we start looking for places. I’ve got some money saved now but not enough—”