East End Angel (38 page)

‘What, me leg?’

‘Yes, I want to know everything.’

‘Might bore you stiff.’

‘It won’t,’ she whispered, looking up at him. ‘I couldn’t be with you to share things, so at least we can share them now.’

‘Some of it ain’t very nice, gel.’

‘I still want to know.’

He drew his hand through her hair. ‘It was in Italy, this happened,’ he told her slowly, stroking her hair as he spoke. ‘Just after I’d heard Blackie had bought it, poor sod.’

‘Oh no, Jim!’

‘’Fraid so. His old girl wrote to me, saying he’d died of his wounds in March at the Mareth Line.’

‘Where’s that?’

‘North Africa. It was a place used by the Eyeties and Jerry to stand against us.’

‘Dying of his wounds,’ murmured Pearl. ‘That must have been awful.’

‘I just hope it was quick. ’Cos, believe you me, no bloke wants to hang around in a bad state.’

‘I’m so sorry, Jim.’ Pearl snuggled closer.

‘I was too. But I was even sorrier when Jerry landed one of their surprise packages on me.’ Pearl waited, listening to his heart as it beat faster. She knew it must be terrible to remember. ‘Their trick was to fire half a dozen bombs one after another, make a bloody great racket, putting the fear of God in the enemy. Didn’t know what hit me, just blacked out and came to as the stretcher-bearers picked me up. Well, I wished I hadn’t come round, as the first thing I saw was half of me leg hanging out.’

‘Oh, Jim!’ Pearl closed her eyes.

‘Sorry, gel, don’t mean to upset you.’

‘Go on, I want to hear it all.’

He took a deep breath and sighed. ‘You sure?’

‘Course I am.’

He bent and kissed the top of her head. In a husky voice he went on, ‘The shells were still raining down. But they got me to the casualty clearing station. The MO shoved a needle in me and that was it, thank God. I was out like a light. The bugger of it was, our unit came under fire again, and they had to move us to a tent hospital. We ended up near Rome, but by then I’d lost too much blood for ’em to operate. Took them time to bung it back in me. Eventually they got me on the table. Surgeon done a good job putting the leg back together, but after, it got infected.’

Pearl sniffed. ‘Why didn’t you write about all this?’

‘What, like, “Hello, Pearl, me leg’s smashed up, but the weather’s nice over here”?’

‘You could have said you was injured and in hospital. I worried because you never said much. Your last letters was so brief.’

‘You had your own worries, gel. You never went on about the bombing here. But I knew from some of the others that London was on the hit list again.’

Pearl wanted to say something about Ruby, to break the ice. But she knew this wasn’t the right time. ‘What happened when you got the infection?’

Jim cleared his throat noisily. ‘I thought I would lose the leg.’

Pearl hugged him tighter. She felt very tearful. She hadn’t been with him to comfort him. He’d been in a foreign land, amongst strangers and was very sick. She couldn’t imagine how lonely and frightening that must have been.

He gave a sudden laugh. ‘They was about to put me under again and I remember telling the doc that if they couldn’t save it, he was to put his saw away and let me kick the bucket. But somehow I woke up with it still on.’

‘Jim, it ain’t no laughing matter. You could have died.’

‘Yeah, but I didn’t, did I? I just kept thinking of you and Cynth. And in October they transferred me to the hospital ship. The Red Cross took us to Southampton. They done another op there, dug out some more mortar. Dunno if it’s all gone. We’ll have to wait and see.’

‘You mean it could be bad again?’

‘Didn’t ask no more. Ignorance is bliss, don’t they say?’

‘Jim, we’ve got to know what to do for the best.’

He chuckled, squeezing her hand. ‘I’m just out of the sympathy vote, that’s all.’

‘Sympathy is something you’ve never wanted, Jim Nesbitt. You’re too proud.’

He turned, easing himself slowly to look into her eyes. ‘Listen, gel, the only thought I had in my mind when I was in hospital, was, I’m going to get home, shit or bust. I told the nurses every day, that nothing and no one was going to stop me from seeing you and Cynth. The poor cows didn’t understand English, let alone cockney, but God love them, they looked after me. And I made it, didn’t I?’

‘Yes, Jim, you did.’

‘Now there’s just us, no bloody Hitler to fight, and the war will soon be over. So come on, give us a kiss, let’s leave the talking till later. We’ve got plenty of time for that. I want you so much. And I want to tell you how much I love you and shut the rest of the world out.’

Pearl threaded her arms around his neck and kissed him. She had so much to tell him, and she’d have to break all the news about Ruby and Ricky living here. But he had just said that he wanted to shut out the world. And she was more than prepared to do that.

*    *    *

They were sitting at the Morrison the next morning when news came over the wireless that a V2 had landed on Woolworths at New Cross. Pearl turned up the volume as Jim sat with Cynthia on his knee, his porridge untouched. They listened in silence to the description of the huge explosion where, so far, the death toll was over one hundred and fifty people and as many wounded.

Pearl sat down heavily. ‘And we thought the war was over.’

Jim stroked his daughter’s fair curls. ‘It’s got to be, Pearl. This killing can’t go on.’

‘But it is. All those poor people out doing their shopping. Innocent people who had kids, fathers and mothers . . .’

Jim looked at her. ‘We have to be thankful it’s not us.’

‘I feel guilty at being alive sometimes.’

‘The only thing we can do is go on.’

She reached for his hand. ‘I know. It’s just every time I hear something like this, my legs go to jelly.’ She smiled. ‘But now I’ve got you, it’s not as bad.’

‘Turn the damn thing off, Pearl. We’ll hear enough about it in the days to come.’ He frowned down at Cynthia. ‘Come on, petal, let’s do some drawing together.’

Despite the tragedy that was unfolding, after switching off the wireless, Pearl turned her mind to the letter she must write to her parents and Ruby. What would she say about Jim’s homecoming? Jim hadn’t asked about Ruby and Ricky. They hadn’t discussed the outside world and Pearl knew that neither of them wanted to.

She listened in contentment to her daughter’s laughter as she sat with her daddy. Jim adored his little girl. The time spent apart was only bringing them all closer. What more could she ask for?

On Tuesday morning, as Pearl was helping Jim to get dressed, there was a knock at the door. Jim rolled his eyes and grinned. ‘Caught with me trousers down again.’

‘It’s probably Gwen.’ Pearl pushed her hair from her face as she helped him pull up the leg of his trousers. She knew he didn’t want to be dependent on her so she always made light of whatever help she gave. Even Cynthia joined in as she sat on the bed, waving Jim’s braces.

‘Go on, love, answer it. Cynth and me will finish the job.’

Pearl hurried to the kitchen. When she opened the door, her jaw dropped in surprise. ‘Em! What are you doing here?’ Pearl stared at the slim figure in a smart silver-grey suit with a fur collar.

‘I’ve come to thank you for our wedding present. We moved as soon as we came home from Cornwall, and before I start the decorating with Colin, I decided to come and thank you.’ She paused as Cynthia’s laughter rang out and then Jim’s deep chuckle. ‘But if you’re busy . . . ?’

‘No, course I’m not.’

Em stepped through and Pearl closed the door. ‘’Scuse the mess.’ She nodded to the unwashed breakfast dishes. ‘Jim came home on Friday.’

‘Oh, Pearl, that’s wonderful news. Is he on leave?’

‘No, he was wounded.’

‘Oh dear. Is it bad?’

‘No, we’re managing.’ Pearl pulled out a chair. ‘Sit down and I’ll put the kettle on.’

‘I’ve called at an inconvenient time.’

‘No, it’s lovely to see you.’ Pearl glanced in Jim’s shaving mirror as she filled the kettle. She hadn’t even had time to brush her hair. Jim was priority in the mornings. Getting him washed, shaved and dressed came even before making a fire.

‘So what’s your new house like?’ Pearl asked as she set out the cups. It was very cold in the kitchen but Em didn’t seem to notice.

‘Very nice. But there’s a lot to do.’

‘Is Colin any good at decorating?’

‘He doesn’t have much time. But Dad can paint walls just as long as he only does one at a time.’

Pearl had forgotten about Em’s dad. ‘How is he settling in?’

‘Very well. It’s a quiet street.’ Em blushed. ‘He still doesn’t go out much, though.’

‘I expect he will in time.’

Just then they heard the scrape of the crutch on the lino and Jim appeared. Cynthia came rushing in and Em caught her in her arms. ‘My, haven’t you grown in only a few weeks?’ She looked up and smiled. ‘Hello, Jim. You might not remember me. I’m Emily Harris, or was when I last saw you at the firm’s Christmas dance.’

‘That was a few years ago,’ Jim smiled as he limped forward and held out his hand. ‘Nice to see you again.’

‘Perhaps you remember Colin, who is now my husband?’

Jim nodded. ‘Yes, o’ course I do. And congratulations. When did you tie the knot?’

Em glanced quickly at Pearl. ‘Don’t you know? It was at the end of October.’

‘Ruby and me was Em’s bridesmaids,’ Pearl explained quickly. ‘I was going to tell you in me next letter, but there wasn’t time.’

There was an awkward silence before Jim smiled. ‘Oh, well, plenty of time now to catch up.’

‘Are Ruby and Ricky at home?’ Em asked, looking through to the front room. ‘I’d like to thank them for the sheets.’

Pearl looked at Jim. She said quickly, ‘Ricky and Ruby are in Abingley with Mum and Dad. Ruby had to go in hospital.’

‘Oh, is it serious?’

‘No, she’s expecting and the hospital want to keep an eye on her.’

‘Expecting?’ Em repeated. ‘How marvellous for them both. But won’t it be a bit crowded here for you all?’

Pearl didn’t dare look at Jim as she explained that Ruby and Ricky would be staying in Abingley. ‘So what was Cornwall like?’ she asked hurriedly as she placed the cups on the top of the Morrison.

‘Beautiful,’ Em smiled. ‘We felt very lucky to be able to have a honeymoon at all under the circumstances.’

‘I’ll say cheerio,’ Jim muttered in a tight, low voice. ‘Give me best to Colin.’ He hobbled to the back door on his crutch. Snatching his coat from the peg, he slung it over his shoulder.

‘Where are you going?’ Pearl called after him.

His face was full of anger as he looked at her. The door slammed loudly after him.

Pearl felt sick with anxiety. She turned back slowly, embarrassed as she looked at Em.

‘Sorry about that.’

‘It was me, going on about my wedding. How tactless of me, when Jim’s been away fighting for all our lives.’

‘Doesn’t matter.’

‘Daddy gone,’ Cynthia called as she slipped from Em’s lap and ran to the door.

‘He’ll be back soon.’ Pearl smiled at her daughter.

‘Look what I brought, Cynthia.’ Em opened her bag and took out a small bag. ‘It’s traditional shortbread, from Cornwall. I hope you like it.’

There was soon a big smile on Cynthia’s face as she began to open the packet. ‘Take it in your bedroom, Cynth, and don’t eat them all once,’ Pearl said quietly.

‘I must go.’ Em stood up after she’d kissed Cynthia’s cheek. ‘And thank you again for the lovely pillowcases, Pearl. Please thank Ruby for me when you see her.’

‘Thanks for calling, Em.’

‘Here is our address.’ She gave Pearl a slip of paper. ‘If you and Jim are over our way, please call in. I’m not working now, just looking after Dad. So please keep in touch.’

‘Yes, I will.’

‘And I hope Jim will forgive me for being so thoughtless.’

‘Don’t be daft, Em. It was nice of you to come all this way.’

When she was alone, Pearl went to the window. She looked up and down the street, but Jim wasn’t in sight. Where had he gone? He couldn’t go far with his crutch, and it was cold. If only she had told him about Ricky and Ruby living here.

The evening drew on but there was still no sign of Jim. Where was he? She’d spoken to Gwen and Fitz, and neither of them had seen him. Later, she’d taken Cynthia to the park and walked to the corner of West Ferry Road. It was a cold November day, with a mist creeping up from the docks. Where could he have gone to keep warm? He couldn’t have gone far. Had he gone to his mother’s? But how would he get there?

Pearl sat down on the couch and read Cynthia a story. When the clock struck seven, she closed the book. ‘Time for bed now.’

‘Daddy ’ome?’ Cynthia asked as Pearl put on her pyjamas.

‘Soon, love. He’ll come in to say good night.’