East End Angel (22 page)

At these words, Jim felt a strange peace come over them. A sudden relief from the pain and fear as he slid the butt from his friend’s lips and closed his sightless eyes. He wanted to stay in that place where Reg had walked ahead bravely, but he knew it was not his time. He was envious even, unwilling to be drawn back. And for that brief moment, he would have been willing to follow if offered the way. But as the body grew heavy – a weightless heaviness, almost – he came back with a bump to reality.

Ruby followed the matron along the corridor, her eyes going to each room as she searched for Ricky. It was a Saturday afternoon and the patients were in their beds or sitting in chairs beside them. All the first aid she had learned couldn’t have prepared her for today. The hospital was full of the blind, deformed and limbless. Matron had told her to be prepared, but it was still a shock. She had also made it clear that Ricky was one of the lucky ones. The burns were across his shoulders and chest and could be hidden by his clothes. He’d lost two fingers, one from each hand, but it wasn’t the burning oil that had taken them. It had been the freezing cold of exposure to the elements.

As they walked on, the smell of disinfectant grew stronger. Ruby had had to wait a whole month to come here as Mr Brewer hadn’t been able to let her go immediately. Though the Manor was imposing from the outside, with gardens all round and pillars in front, inside it was just the same as any hospital. The nurses all wore starched uniforms and the doctors stood discussing their patients at the ends of the beds. As it was the rest period, it was very quiet.

Finally the matron opened the door of a room and looked in. Ruby could see it was a small ward with only two beds. ‘Ah, he’s not here. I’ll wait with you until he comes.’

Ruby’s gaze went to the long window at the end of the room. The light reflected down onto a curtain pulled round the bed. Ruby could see a wooden frame sticking out at the bottom.

‘Ah, here he is,’ said the Matron, turning Ruby away.

Ricky strode down the passage towards them. Ruby’s heart lifted, only to drop again when she saw his bandaged hands.

‘Hello,’ he said, smiling as he came closer.

The matron touched her arm. ‘As soon as you’re ready we’ll serve you tea in the conservatory.’

‘Thank you, Matron,’ said Ricky and they watched her walk away.

‘Oh, darling, how are you?’ Ruby wanted to kiss him but knew she couldn’t. The red marks of the burns showed under his collar and he held his bandaged hands at his side.

‘Much better. And you?’

‘I’ve missed you.’

‘And I you. I’m afraid I can’t use these yet.’ He lifted his arms.

‘It doesn’t matter. Are they painful?’

‘Not now.’

‘Oh, Ricky,’ was all she could say.

‘How was your journey?’ he asked politely.

‘I took the train up and the bus brought me the rest of the way. Matron said someone called Arthur would have driven me, but this weekend he’s away.’

‘Yes, he’s a nice old chap. Does a bit of running about for the hospital.’

‘This is a very nice place. Well, outside it is.’

He smiled. ‘Yes, it does have that effect on first-time visitors.’

Ruby felt very awkward. They were talking like strangers.

‘Shall we go along to the conservatory?’ he asked. ‘It’s much nicer in there. And my room is very small. Besides,’ he nodded, ‘Dick is not well.’

As they were leaving a young woman passed. She kept her head down as she walked to the bed with the frame.

‘Fighter pilot. He’s in trouble, I’m sad to say,’ Ricky said softly as they walked along the corridor.

‘You mean, he’s—’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘How awful.’

‘Next on your right, through that door,’ Ricky said in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘Should be warm enough in there as the sun’s been out all day.’

They walked into a large room over which there was a glass roof and below, wide open windows. The many kinds of potted plants, ferns and palms gave it an outside feel. Although it was warm Ruby was glad she had worn her new coat. Would Ricky notice it? She’d chosen the soft shade of green to go with her hat, gloves and black court shoes. Her black shoulder bag contained her train tickets, purse and make-up. Although Ricky didn’t smoke she had brought cigarettes in case.

He led the way to two leather chairs with big cushions. They overlooked the view of the well-tended garden and stone-paved patio. In the centre of the patio was a waterless fountain decorated with cherubs. A wide set of steps led down to the lawns and in the distance was an imposing green hedge. Ruby wondered about the family that was wealthy enough to own a place like this and then had to leave it.

Soon more patients came in with their relatives and friends. The invalids shuffled on crutches and sticks, and some were pushed in wheelchairs. She hoped Ricky would tell her what happened on board ship so she could understand what he’d been through.

A young orderly brought the tea. Ricky sat down beside her. ‘Apologies again.’ He lifted his bandaged hands. ‘Will you pour?’

Ruby was happy to be able to do something, however small.

‘When you wrote to me about Roper’s Way,’ Ricky said as she stirred the pot, ‘I was very surprised. Do you think it can be repaired?’

‘Don’t know,’ she shrugged, wishing he would say how nice she looked. ‘When we went to have a look it was just a shell.’

‘Are your family happy in Abingley?’

‘Yes, they’ve got a lovely flat, quite large, with a garden. Dad’s at the aerodrome and grows veg on a small allotment. You know how mad he is about planting stuff.’

‘Good for him.’

‘There’s a market and shops and lots of fields and green spaces,’ she found herself saying. ‘It’s not at all like the Smoke. But they seem very happy all the same.’

‘And what are you up to these days?’

‘I’m still at the factory,’ she said, wishing they could talk about something more intimate. She’d told him all this in her letters. Why did he make her feel like a stranger? His thoughts seemed very far away. ‘Ricky, I don’t want to spend all our time talking about me. What happened to you? How did you get your injuries?’

‘Perhaps we could discuss them some other time.’

‘Don’t you want to tell me?’

‘There’s enough sickness here. It’s good to hear about the outside.’

Ruby nodded, but she didn’t have much more to tell him. ‘Would you like a cigarette?’ she asked, opening her bag.

‘Not with these, I’m afraid.’ He lifted his bandaged hands.

‘I could light one for you, if you like?’

‘I’ve never been much of a smoker.’

There was a long silence.

‘Ricky, I’ve missed you so much,’ she burst out suddenly. ‘Have you missed me?’

‘Yes, of course.’ He shifted and frowned. Was it pain on his face, she wondered. Why didn’t he seem to be interested in anything?

‘And how’s Pearl?’ he asked in the same polite tone.

‘She’s fine. Cynthia is full of beans.’

‘The baby, you mean?’

‘She’s not such a baby any more. Jim will have a surprise when he comes home.’

‘Ah, Jim. Where is he? Still in the desert?’

‘Don’t know,’ Ruby shrugged.

‘We were told Alamein was a brilliant show. Pearl must be very proud.’

Ruby frowned. ‘Yes, she is.’ She wondered what his thoughts were about Jim. Would the two men be friends when they met again?

‘You know, I used to think you two girls were a cut above the others at the club,’ he said with a sudden smile. ‘Very single-minded and bright.’

Ruby blushed. ‘Flattery will get you everywhere, though I didn’t think you noticed me.’

‘Oh, yes, the Jenkins sisters.’

Ruby smiled. ‘I think Pearl had a crush on you,’ she teased. ‘Not that she said anything. But a sister can tell.’

Ricky stared at her. ‘Now it’s my turn to be flattered.’

She was disappointed as she’d only said that hoping he would say that he would have preferred her to have a crush on him.

‘Well, we both did, actually,’ she added lamely.

He nodded to his cup. ‘I’m afraid I’ll have to ask for help.’

Ruby lifted the cup to his mouth. It was such a wonderful mouth, set in a face that looked more handsome than ever. His black hair was turning grey at the temples and slender white creases sprang out from his eyes. She wished he would tell her how lovely she looked.

‘Thanks.’ He sat back, his eyes turning away. On her first-aid courses she had been told that some war veterans never talked about their experiences. Not for days or even years afterwards. She hoped that one day he would be able to confide in her.

Soon the visitors began leaving. Ricky leaned forward, saying quietly, ‘I see you’re still wearing your ring.’

Automatically she clasped it. ‘Of course I am.’

‘I’m surprised.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s just that I thought after this . . .’ He looked down at his hands, ‘you may want to change your mind. I’ve no idea how long I shall be here. I’m not at all certain the engagement was a good idea.’

‘What? But I love you,’ she cried.

‘Before this happened I had a career with the navy, a job that I loved. Now I’m not certain that I’ll be able to return to sea.’

‘Does that matter?’ she asked. ‘Isn’t it a good thing really?’

‘How can it be good?’ His face darkened.

‘I don’t mean it’s good to have injuries,’ she flustered. ‘I just meant that you’ll be out of the war.’

‘The navy is my life,’ he said gruffly.

‘Yes, I know, but I hope I am too.’

‘Ruby, what have I to offer you? At the moment, nothing.’

‘Don’t say that. When you’re well, you’ll find another job that you like as much as the navy.’

He turned cold eyes on her. ‘You think so?’

‘Ricky, I want to get married. I want to be your wife.’ She was afraid she was losing him.

Once more he looked distant. ‘Even if we did, we have nowhere to live.’

‘We could stay at Pride Place,’ she said eagerly. ‘Just till we found somewhere.’

Once more he gazed down at his hands. ‘How can I support a wife like this?’

‘Oh, darling, it doesn’t matter. As long as we have each other, something will turn up.’ She leaned close and as the room was now empty, placed her lips on his. He didn’t draw away and her heart leaped with joy. ‘I know you love me, really. It’s what’s happened to you that’s given you doubts. But I’ve enough love for both of us.’

When the bell rang, Ruby knew she must leave. ‘I’ll have to go.’

‘Are you staying in the village?’

‘Yes, at the Brown Bear. I wish we could be together.’

‘That won’t be possible for some time to come.’ He looked very unhappy.

She wanted to throw her arms round him and make him well. She knew she had enough love to do it.

‘I’ll be here in the morning. Then I’ll ask matron if we could be married here.’

‘I don’t think that’s possible.’

‘Anything’s possible if you want it enough.’ Once again she leaned forward to kiss him. It was a very brief and he sat in silence as he watched her walk away.

Her eyes were full of tears as she waited for the bus. She wouldn’t let their love die, she wouldn’t. She was determined to enlist the matron’s help tomorrow and marry Ricky before he changed his mind.

Cynthia was dressed in her Sunday frock and sat on the high-backed carver, dwarfed by the big polished table in front of her. The ruby-red chenille tablecloth spilled over its edges and covered the four bulbous legs beneath. The furniture in the overcrowded front room was all depressingly dark wood. It reminded Pearl of a museum more than a home. It was no wonder that Jim, on leaving school, had found himself a job that took him away from home. He must have dreaded coming back to this atmosphere. Mrs Nesbitt, as usual, was eyeing Cynthia with disapproval as the crumbs scattered over the cloth and missed her plate.

‘Look at your sticky fingers,’ Mrs Nesbitt said sharply. ‘Use your napkin, child, that’s what it’s for.’

Pearl caught her daughter’s intake of breath as a wizened hand flew in front of her nose and snatched the napkin. ‘Hasn’t your mother taught you any manners?’

Cynthia’s wide eyes went to Pearl and they shared a glance. Neither of them enjoyed their visits to Villa Road. Most of the time, Cynthia sat on Pearl’s knee, sucking her thumb as she cowered away from her grandmother’s scrutiny. Playing on the floor was forbidden. The china ornaments positioned strategically around the fireplace were fragile. The lower shelves spilled with bric-a-brac, and books that were not to be read but dusted. Pearl often wondered if Jim got dusted as a child and told to sit in a corner and be quiet. No wonder he turned out to be noisy and talkative. All those years of living under this roof like an ornament must have driven him crazy.

She forced down the thin, tasteless food and the sugarless, watery tea. And when all that could be said about Jim was said, Pearl hoped they could make an escape.