Dorothy Garlock (23 page)

His attitude puzzled her. Today he had been murderously angry, then cynical, and now teasing. Would she ever learn to cope with his moods? Now was the time to thank him for coming to her rescue today. She had no doubt that he’d make some sarcastic remark and throw her thanks back in her face.

“Thank you for what you did for me this afternoon, Mr. Macklin.”

He didn’t say anything for a long while, and eventually she wished she hadn’t bothered to thank him. His very presence made that shameful weakness creep over her again. She was determined not to give in to it and vigorously stirred the gravy in the iron skillet on the stove.

“Don’t you think you should call me Burr now that we’re going to wed?”

“I haven’t given it a thought, Mr. Macklin,” she answered coolly.

“I’ve never met a woman who could make me so angry,” he said as if to himself, but he made sure that she heard.

“Then you’ve not met many women,” she retorted.

“I’ve met enough,” he said with a lift of his brows, and laughed when she tossed her head and banged a pan down on the stove. He watched her silently for a few moments. When he spoke again his voice was serious. “Usually you would be perfectly safe with any of the men who work here. It puzzles me why Risewick’s man did the stupid thing he did. Had you met him in the saloon in Fort Davis?”

“He might have seen me there. But he said someone had told him I was . . . that sort of woman.”

“Who would do a thing like that?”

“Ask him.” Johanna looked directly into his frowning face. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the cookfire and her eyes large and serious.

“He won’t be talking for a while.” The frown changed to a grin.

In spite of herself Johanna let a fleeting smile pass over her lips.

Ben and Risewick came into the room.

“I understand congratulations are in order,” Willard said.

“Yes, I’m a fortunate man.” Burr took the hand Willard offered.

Johanna raised her eyes to the ceiling in a gesture of disgust. The white-haired idiot was grinning like a cat and accepting the good wishes as if . . . as if . . . She bit back the scathing remark that came to mind and turned back to the stove, but not before she saw the devilish glance he gave her.

Burr was all “sunshine and light” at the supper table. It was all Johanna could do to keep from kicking him. He talked of his plans to allow the “little woman” to fix up the house, and he said he supposed that now that he was going to have a wife he’d have to give up certain, he paused and his eyes flashed at Johanna, pleasures he’d enjoyed in the past.

Ben sat quietly watching, commenting only when forced to do so. Risewick listened attentively and Johanna wondered if he was aware of the act Burr was putting on.
As bad as this is,
she decided,
it’s not as unpleasant as it would be if old Mack had come to the table.

When the meal was over she prepared the tray for old Mack as she did each night and took it to him. Days ago she had stopped trying to be cordial to the cantankerous old man. Now, she kicked open the door, set the tray on the table beside the bed, and left the room without giving him a glance. He seldom spoke to her, but his hard eyes followed her every move.

Later in the evening she stepped out onto the porch to find Willard Risewick waiting for her.

“Ma’am, I asked Ben if I might have a word alone with you. I wish to apologize for what my man has said and done this afternoon and add that if Burr hadn’t given the man a good thrashing, I would have done it myself. The only excuse I can give is that he thought his attentions would be welcome. However, he should have known that his information was false. I’ve seen men hung for doing what he did to you today.”

“It was frightening, and I’d rather forget it,” Johanna replied.

“Certainly. May I walk with you?”

They strolled to the end of the house and as they neared the benches outside Burr’s room, she saw his blond head. He was sitting beside Luis and Jacy. Next to Jacy, sitting as close as possible, was Bucko. Johanna smiled. Children always loved Jacy; she drew them to her as honey draws flies.

Jacy came to her the moment she saw her, and Risewick moved off to find Ben.

“Johanna!” She was bubbling with excitement. “Burr told us! Now we’ll be living here together. I can’t believe how things have turned out for us. You are happy, aren’t you, Johanna?”

“Of course I’m happy. Now, tell me, how is Rosita and her little one? I don’t get to see her nearly enough.”

“She’s all right. Oh, Jo, I’m just so happy. I never thought it possible to be this happy. Sometimes I wonder if I’m alive.”

“You’re alive, all right.”

Burr came up behind Johanna and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned and glanced up and tried to pull away, but his hand tightened and she was forced to stand still.

“
Buenas tardes, señorita,
” Luis loomed up out of the darkness to stand beside Jacy.

“Evening, Luis.” Johanna thought her face would crack soon from her forced smile. She looked around for a diversion, saw Bucko, and whirled to go to him. Burr’s hand continued to hold her, so she brought the heel of her shoe down on his instep. She was pleased to feel the bone beneath the soft leather of his moccasins. His hand released her, allowing her to take a few steps . . . then she felt a sharp pain. He had pinched her! Pinched her, viciously, on the bottom!

“Don’t try that again, sweetheart, unless you want Jacy to know how we really feel about each other,” he murmured in her ear.

“Stay away from me and keep your hands to yourself,” she hissed.

“Don’t you two want to be alone?” Burr called to Luis. “Johanna and I do.”

Johanna heard Luis’s soft laugh and Jacy’s giggle as they moved away.

With a firm grip on her arm, Burr maneuvered her toward the shadows of the house. Johanna fumed. He’s impossible, insufferably arrogant, a real . . . mule’s ass! Good heavens! she thought, soon I’ll be just as crude as he is.

And yet, at the same time, she had to admit there was something about him that fascinated her. She felt attracted to him and she resented it and rebelled against it, and that brought out a childish side of her that she hadn’t known existed.

They stopped and Burr pushed her up against the wall, one hand on either side of her. She wanted to look at him but couldn’t. The coil of hair at the back of her neck caught in the rough stones. She put her hands on his chest to push him away, but he didn’t move. It was like pushing against a mountain. She could feel his breath stirring her hair, and he moved still closer until her hands were captured between her breasts and his chest. Still he said nothing. He smelled smoky and of freshly washed, sun-dried clothes, which brought Isabella to mind.

“Will you please move back and give me room?”

“You’re like a little fox I once had. I built a nice little cage for him, thinking I could tame him and have him for a pet. He’d stand in the middle of the cage, too proud to try to jump out because he knew he couldn’t make it. But one day I let the barrier down and he was gone; quicker than a flash, he was gone. He was all gold and silver and warm, like you. But smart and sly and quick . . . like me.”

“Just what are you trying to say?”

He drew in a deep breath. She could feel his face against her hair. She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe evenly. After a moment he moved away and she felt the tension go out of her.

“Do you want your sister to know why you’re marrying me? Ben and Luis know. Luis would rather Jacy didn’t know, but it’s up to you. I don’t give a damn one way or the other.”

“You don’t care for anyone, do you?”

“Yes, I care for Ben, for Bucko, and for Luis. Now I care for Jacy for Luis’s sake.”

“And I care for my sister. Not for anything do I want her to know that I’ve made this sacrifice for her.”

Johanna knew immediately that she had used the wrong word. He grabbed her and pulled her to him, lifting her off the ground so that their faces were level.

“Sacrifice!” he said angrily. “Do you think I want to marry a prissy old-maid schoolmarm, turned saloon singer, turned housekeeper? Do you want to know what you are? You’re a cold bitch! God only knows why I’m willing to marry you!” He sat her on her feet with a jolt.

She rubbed her arms. “Then talk to your father. Make him understand we don’t want each other.” She put in her voice all the scorn she could manage.

“Don’t call him . . . that!” he said hoarsely. “Ben’s the only father I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t ask that old man to piss on me if I were on fire!”

Johanna was shocked by the intensity of his anger. She turned away from him, miserably conscious of how angry she had made him.

“I don’t want Jacy to know,” she said in a muffled voice. “I don’t know what she would do.”

“All right.” He came to stand behind her. “But don’t get so all fired up when I touch you.” He pulled her back against him and folded his arms around her waist. She stiffened and he laughed softly.

Would she ever get used to his quick-changing moods? she wondered. One minute he was angry, the next teasing, or gentle as he was with Bucko, or expressing his love for Ben and Luis. She was too confused and weak to cope with all the anger inside her. And this other thing . . . this awful physical attraction she felt for him. She stood still and allowed him to nuzzle her. His lips were soft against her face, his cheeks slightly rough with beard. She could feel his heart pounding against her back and the ripple of muscles in the powerful arms that closed around her. He placed soft kisses along the line of her jaw and the spot beneath her ear.

“That didn’t hurt much, did it?”

Johanna tried to step out of his embrace, but he refused to let her go.

“Why do you want to leave me?” he whispered, his tongue dipping into her ear. “You liked it?”

She could feel a blush flooding her face. What he’d said was true and he knew it. He laughed at her struggles to free herself and nibbled playfully at the lobe of her ear.

“Admit it. You like my kisses.”

Furious with herself and with him, she dug her elbow into his ribs.

“Stop!” She strained away from him, and he loosened his grip just enough to turn her around in his arms.

“You’ll have to get used to my lovin’, Johanna. I’m a lusty man.”

“Oh! . . . You . . .”

Burr laughed at her outraged cry; Johanna could feel it rippling through his body. She wanted to weep.

“You’ll fill the nights with excitement, Johanna. I just might have found me a treasure.” The words were spoken against her lips. Then savagely he kissed her. His arms possessed an incredible strength and he bound her still closer to his hard body until she felt she would be crushed to death. His lips softened and his kisses became caresses, sending a surging warmth flowing through her like a river. Her lips began to cling, to move, to seek, and she felt once again the sharp stab of pleasure in her middle and a weakness in her limbs. Then he lifted his head, looked down into her face, and laughed, a low, savage, triumphant laugh.

Passion’s blinding, deafening spell faded instantly, and anger, like bile, came up in her throat. She emitted a strangled noise and her hand flashed up and she slapped him, taking him and herself by surprise. He loosened his hold and she scrambled back, but his arms snaked out to wrap her again in his strong embrace. Then, to her consternation, she was quickly pulled through the doorway and into his room. Effortlessly he scooped her up into his arms and kicked the door shut. Ignoring her protest, her flailing arms and legs, he carried her across the moonlit room until he reached the bed. His face was suffocatingly close, and his arms imprisoned her like a vise. She could feel the anger that radiated from his body and for the first time she was physically frightened of him. She opened her mouth to scream.

“Scream,” he hissed. “Scream and bring your sister running!” He dropped her on the bed and fell on top of her, his body stretched out and pressing down against hers. He held her wrist in one hand and grasped her chin in the other, his fingers digging into her cheeks. His lips were only inches from hers when he spoke in a harsh whisper. “You make me so all-fired mad that I want to twist your head right off your stupid neck.”

The fury of his attack had left Johanna speechless with fear. She knew he was capable of violence, and she could tell he was genuinely angry. Jacy’s soft laughter and Luis’s voice came from beyond the porch, and she tightened her lips and silently struggled against the powerful body holding her.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson, little fox. You’re going to learn not to bait the bear.”

She tried to struggle, twisting her head from side to side, but there was no escaping the lips that came smashing down on hers. The hand cupping her chin moved slowly down to the bodice of her dress. The strong, firm fingers slipped inside and moved caressingly over her soft flesh, then halted as they reached the nipple, and slowly squeezed.

“I’ll not rape you,” he whispered. “I won’t have to. I’ll make it so good for you that you’ll want me. You don’t believe it? Well, I’ll show you . . . .”

His lips touched hers, lightly at first, then with longer and more intense kisses. He concentrated all his attention on doing just this. He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her mouth, traced it with his tongue, licking and nibbling and then hotly kissing. Her body untensed, melted against his, and she began to enjoy the sensation of his hand on her naked flesh. Her hands found his head and her fingers moved in his hair, pulling his lips harder against her open mouth. She felt the first thrust of his tongue, and when her kisses became wetly passionate, his hand moved to shove her skirts up to her waist and his quick fingers found the slit in her drawers.

My God, my God! I’m forgetting to hate him.
Her brain pounded with a million thoughts, and somewhere inside her a warning was screaming to be heard. She could not listen, would not listen, not now, when his fingers were giving her spasms of unfamiliar joy that obliterated all else. She wanted him in a way she had never wanted anything. She could feel her muscles tightening, her insides straining, reaching out, longing for fulfillment of the strange, delicious hunger he had aroused in her. His caresses drove every thought from her brain. She felt hot and cold all at once. She wanted him to stop, and she wanted him to go on. She moaned softly and opened her legs.