Authors: Janine A. Morris
Diva Diaries (35 page)
78
Off the Market
J
amille, the guy from the grocery store by Jordan's house, had called Dakota today. She felt nauseous that morning so she stayed home. She was making some business calls when her phone beeped. It was himâhe reminded her who he was, and she pretended to need a memory refresher. She was well aware who he was and was happy he called. She was happy until he asked her to meet up with him and she had to remember that she was fat as a pig, and that going on a date with a pregnant woman probably wasn't what he had in mind. She knew she probably should have told him but she didn't want to. She didn't want to run all her men away just yetâshe needed their sporadic calls. They gave her a sense of hope that she still had it, and she wasn't stuck having to deal with Tony's secondhand love forever.
amille, the guy from the grocery store by Jordan's house, had called Dakota today. She felt nauseous that morning so she stayed home. She was making some business calls when her phone beeped. It was himâhe reminded her who he was, and she pretended to need a memory refresher. She was well aware who he was and was happy he called. She was happy until he asked her to meet up with him and she had to remember that she was fat as a pig, and that going on a date with a pregnant woman probably wasn't what he had in mind. She knew she probably should have told him but she didn't want to. She didn't want to run all her men away just yetâshe needed their sporadic calls. They gave her a sense of hope that she still had it, and she wasn't stuck having to deal with Tony's secondhand love forever.
Hearing from him actually made her mad. She was pissed at herself that she got pregnant by that asshole Tony. She was happy about the child inside of her; she was just upset that Tony had become even more of a jerk since he heard the news. She couldn't tell if he was feeling cocky because he now knew she wasn't going anywhere or if he was upset that now she wasn't going anywhere.
Things had changed so much between them. It was like they started out enjoying each other. He loved the freak she was in bed, and she enjoyed the good sex. She didn't know how they ended up with so much more at stake. She could admit she started to catch feelings for him, and she was open off of his good looks and status. It just seemed that he was becoming open off of her, too. She was a great catch, and she would have thought that she was worthy of a man like him. She never thought that all she could be was his jump-off. It seemed, though, that maybe that was all he wanted her to be. Maybe he just said other things to keep her happy so she would keep giving him that good head. In reality, she was probably one of many pit stops on his way home to Jonelle. She just thought she was smart enough to notice something like that. She was a player herselfâit wasn't in her nature to get played.
Jamille really seemed like a good catch. He gave her a sense of hope. She didn't have to settle for Tony. There were other men out there who were good-looking and not losers that would be interested in her. Now it was too late to believe thisâshe was already knocked up by Tony, with his doggish self. She just wished that she could be having her child with a man who loved and respected her.
She was still pissed that he called her a gold digger, and that he deals with women better than her. How do you say that to the mother of your child while she's pregnant? Dakota just wasn't cool with that at all. Tony had called a couple of times but she didn't answer her phoneâshe had to let him know that she wasn't some chicken-head girl. Her actions may have said that to him over the past year, but she had more self-respect than she may have been showing. So he wasn't just going to call her up and everything be OK, and then come get some ass. Not this time around. He left messages saying that he was sorry, and he was just upset, he didn't mean all of that, and he cared about her more than she knew. He even said he was excited and very happy that they were having a baby. As mad as she was, that message was what she had wanted to hear from Tony for quite some time. She was going to call him back when she heard that message, but she figured she would let him call her again, and when he did she would answer the phone. It was a shame she had to play these games but as long as they were going to be parenting a child together, she knew she had to always be ready to make her next move. At least until she popped the baby out, and she could take Jamille up on his offer, with his fine self.
79
Better Never Than Late
E
ight missed calls. All from Omar.
What is this about
, Jordan thought to herself. A small piece of her was actually excited to see his name in her phone. He hadn't spoken to her in weeks since that day he called and Jayon was over. What has him calling now? And so urgently? Jordan's assistant told her he called twice, but eight missed calls on her cell phone, too? This was something for sure.
ight missed calls. All from Omar.
What is this about
, Jordan thought to herself. A small piece of her was actually excited to see his name in her phone. He hadn't spoken to her in weeks since that day he called and Jayon was over. What has him calling now? And so urgently? Jordan's assistant told her he called twice, but eight missed calls on her cell phone, too? This was something for sure.
She called him immediately. After the third ring he picked up. “Hello, Jordan?” he said, as if he had been waiting for her call all day.
“Yeah. Hi, Omar. Everything OK?” she asked.
“Yeah, where are you?”
“I'm at the office,” she said, sounding confused.
“I wanted to see if we can talk ... like now,” he said.
“I have a 2:00 o'clock, but I can talk for a bit now if you'd like.”
“No, I want to talk face-to-face ... where will you be at around 4:00?”
“Probably still at the office,” she said, still sounding very confused.
“I'll be there then to pick you up, and we can go to Ronnie's Place to get some food and talk,” he replied.
Jordan wasn't even sure she was up for this, but Omar never took rejection well. Regardless of the reason she would give, whether it was good and valid or not, it would only hurt his feelings. Especially since he was even taking this step to try to talk.
“OK, I'll meet you there,” she said, trying not to show her hesitation. He seemed happy that she accepted, and they hung up. She sat there in her black leather office chair with her face in both of her hands, just trying to figure out what the hell was going on with her life. She was going on a date with her husband. The husband who she had been considering filing for a divorce from. Her partner for the past fourteen years, who now seemed more like a stranger.
She picked up the phone and called Jayon directly after she finished taking in the situation.
“Hey, baby,” he said as soon as he answered.
He still made her blush with something just as simple as that.
“Hey sweetie ... listen, what are you doing?” she replied.
“I'm leaving Time Warner now. Had to go over some things with the director for their HR meeting ... Why, what are you doing?” he said.
“I'm actually about to head into a meeting in a few minutes. But at 4:00 P.M. I also have a meeting of some sort. I just wanted you to know so you won't look for me when you get back to the office.”
“What meeting do you have at 4:00 P.M.?
“Actually ... Omar. He wants to meet and talk,” she replied.
“About what?”
“I don't know, he didn't say.”
“OâK” Jayon said, sounding confused.
“Are you cool with that?”
“Baby. Please. Of course I'm cool with it. You both have some things you need to clear up and discuss anyway. It's actually about time.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“Babe ... go. Don't worry about me. Just be strong. If you need me, I'm #8 on your speed dial.”
Jordan started to laugh. That's one of the things she loved about him. Jayon was always putting her first. Especially in this trying timeânot once did he act like the jealous boyfriend. He had been her friend first and allowed her to do what she had to do to get through this. With all the guilt she had been dealing with, it seemed he was the one person who didn't think of her as a heartless witch.
Â
Â
It was about 4:45 when she walked into Ronnie's Place and saw Omar talking to Rita, Ronnie's wife. Ronnie's Place was a small soul food restaurant owned by Ronnie, and it was where Omar got his start in the cooking industry. They went there a lot when they were dating, and there were many late nights that she had talks with Rita, while she was waiting for Omar to get off work. They always looked at Ronnie's like a home away from home.
As soon as Omar noticed her he nodded in her direction to let Rita know she had arrived. Rita immediately scurried over to Jordan with open arms to greet her. It had been at least two years since they had seen one another, and Jordan was happy to see her. Omar knew what he was doing, having the talk there; he knew this place always took Jordan back to their early days. This had been where they'd made up several times, but this was different. So although it was great seeing Rita, and Jordan's stomach got excited at the smell of their soul food, she knew she and Omar had to get this wrapped up.
Jordan's mind was made upâOmar had had his chance. So as soon as they sat down at the table, she looked up at Omar and said, “What did you want to talk about?”
On the way there she had thought about when she had suggested to Omar that they talk and he said there was nothing to talk about, how mean and heartless he was, and she realized she was being nice just to show up. She knew this was her opportunity for revengeâshe realized that when she first spoke to him earlier and he suggested talking. However, it was past playing games for her. She was way past revenge and spiteâshe had really let go. She tried to get Omar to see that months ago, but he didn't want to listen. Now here it was, going on ten months after he first left, and he finally wanted to talk.
“Jordan, I have been thinking long and hard and I realize how badly I messed up. I know there were some issues that you and I needed to resolve, but I handled it completely wrong.”
“Omar, it took you a year to realize this?” she asked.
“I've noticed it for a while now, but I was too afraid to talk to you about it. I didn't know what to say or what you'd say,” he answered.
“Omar, I don't know what you want me to say.”
“Say you will give us another chance. Say we can have one more shotâyou know we are meant to be together. We have fifteen years togetherâwe owe each other another chance.”
“I tried to explain that to you before, but you said years wasn't everything.”
“I was wrong, Jordanâcan't you forgive me for my mistakes?”
“I can't tell you that, Omarâthings are different now.”
“I'm willing to take the time that it will take to get things back the way they were.”
“Omar, this is so sudden. You have to understand that I'm in a different situation,” she said.
“What could possibly be that serious that you can't even give us a chance?”
“Omar, my heart. I could never trust you with it again ... and I have already started to move on,” she answered.
“What does that mean?”
Jordan didn't know how to say itâit was like she wanted him to guess. She couldn't bring her lips to say what she knew would be the last thing he wanted to hear.
“Omar, I haven't been just waiting around for this dayâto be honest, I didn't think it would ever come,” she said.
“Are you seeing someone?”
“I wouldn't say all of that, but there is someone who has been keeping my spirits up, and I can't just go tell him thanks but I'm done.”
Omar just sat there for a few seconds. Then he asked, “Who is this someone?”
“Jayon, Omar. Jayon ... he has been there for me through all of this, and you can't just think you're gonna come back into my life complaining about my relationship with him.”
“Jayon?”
“Yes, Omar, and I don't need you passing judgment right now. You have no right.”
“I have no right? So the man that broke our marriage up to begin with, you're going to let him prevent us from getting back together?”
Jordan was too through. Omar just didn't get it and he probably never would. “I'm sitting with the man who broke our marriage up, and yes, he is the same one who will prevent us from getting back together.” As she finished her statement she signaled to the waitress for the check.
“Jordan, you can't be willing to throw us away like that,” Omar said.
“Why not? You were,” she said as her voice began to crack.
She didn't want to hurt Omarâit was actually more painful for her than it was for him. It was the last thing that she wanted to do, but Omar really didn't see what he had done to her, and she refused to take it easy on him because he didn't take it easy on her. So once the check came, she paid it and she was ready to go. She hoped that Omar didn't think she was being rude, but he wouldn't understand where she was coming from. It could have been anyone who was “that someone.” What Omar had to realize is that he caused this. She just knew that he probably wouldn't, and no matter what she said or did, he was going to be upset with her. Just like most menâhe didn't miss a good thing until it was gone.
80
No Place Like Home
I
t had been different for the past week or so. Keith would call Chrasey once or twice during the day to say hello, or to ask if she needed him to bring anything home. He would pick up the kids for her some days; when he came home he would give them all hugs and kisses. She definitely did see the difference. It was a little odd knowing that it wasn't all natural, but it was a good start. What Chrasey enjoyed the most was when they would sit down to eat dinner, they would all talkâher, him, and the kids. They would talk about school and work, and different places and things they wanted to do together. She felt like they were a family again.
t had been different for the past week or so. Keith would call Chrasey once or twice during the day to say hello, or to ask if she needed him to bring anything home. He would pick up the kids for her some days; when he came home he would give them all hugs and kisses. She definitely did see the difference. It was a little odd knowing that it wasn't all natural, but it was a good start. What Chrasey enjoyed the most was when they would sit down to eat dinner, they would all talkâher, him, and the kids. They would talk about school and work, and different places and things they wanted to do together. She felt like they were a family again.
She was starting to get over all the thoughts of what he was like when he was with Lourdesâthat would only damper her mood. She started to just focus on what they were doing, and try to trust that he really wasn't with Lourdes anymore. Trust is a hard thing to regain, you never know where the line is that separates trust from just being stupid. It's like trust is that one thing that is the most vulnerable between two people as it is, so when it's tainted in any way, it's almost impossible to regain it fully, because it was never quite full to begin with. She did know that trust was what you made of it. Trust came with faith more so than trust in the one you're with. Faith to leave it in God's hands, to live your life and hope for the best.
Chrasey was well aware that this was probably not the end for her and Keith; they had a lot more turmoil and stress to come, and they were just at a temporary standstill. Lourdes would soon stir up more trouble, and there would come a time when her kids and Lourdes's daughter may have to meet. Her and Keith's future was going to be filled with reminders of this time in their marriage and there was no use trying to escape it. The best they could do was try to move past it.
It had been forever since she and Keith had had sex, but they finally even crossed that bridge. The other night they were lying in bed, and they both seemed to feel more comfortable next to each other. Their legs had touched and they didn't move them. Then, before she knew it, he had scooted to her side of the bed. Her first impulse was disgustâshe still felt a lot of anger toward him, and she didn't want him to touch her in that way. When he put his arm around her, though, she closed her eyes and tried to remember when she'd yearned for him to cuddle with her in the bed. She tried to remember that he was trying to change. She hadn't been with Trevor in months, and she could have used the maintenance, anyway. So when she felt him going for it, she let him go. It was more like making loveâhe took his time with everything. It had been a while, so it felt like something new and she enjoyed every minute of it. She worked very hard to keep all the negative and angry thoughts out of her head so that she could get through it. She was seriously considering making him wear a condom, but she knew that would ruin the whole mood. It wasn't to be mean, but she didn't know what really went down between him and Lourdes, and she knew she'd used protection with Trevor. Still, she figured if he didn't try to make her feel dirty for her affair by putting one on, she shouldn't make a big deal and make him do it, so she let it go. By the time it was over, she really did think it helped them break down a barrier between them. They had been husband and wife and had sex only three times all yearâit was crazy to be able to count. She didn't have an orgasm, but that would have been too much to ask for the first time aroundâone step at a time. It felt nice to go to sleep afterward without feeling guilty, the way she used to sometimes when she slept with Trevor. The next morning he was as sweet as pie. She didn't know if it was because he was backed up and last night did him wonders, or he was just trying really hard to get them back on track. Either way, she went along with it; she did her part to keep their house cheerful. He had cooked breakfast and brought it to Chrasey in bedâthen he crawled in next to her and started watching television with her. He asked her what she wanted to seeâhe didn't just turn to his sports stuff. She really started to like what life was like at home. They had been at odds for so long, she forgot about how cute and mushy a marriage could be. She didn't know how long it would last, but it finally felt good to be home.
Other books
The Hollow City by Dan Wells
Black Swan by Bruce Sterling
Never Love a Highlander by Maya Banks
Knight in Shining Suit by Jerilee Kaye
Across the River by Alice Taylor
Snatchers (Book 8): The Dead Don't Pray by Whittington, Shaun
Moonlight Road by Robyn Carr
Strange Pilgrims by Gabriel García Márquez
On Track for Treasure by Wendy McClure
El barrio maldito by Félix Urabayen