Did You Read That Review ? (89 page)

3.3 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Accoutrements Corn Dog Lip Balm

ASIN:
     B002UAM402

Price:
     
Currently unavailable

This luscious lip balm will keep your lips plump and moist just like a hot dog inside that delicious, fried cornbread batter. Great for friends who love frankfurters.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 41 people found the following review helpful

Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!!!!! I’m in heaven!

By
SW3K
, January 16, 2013

I’ve been suffering from dry, chapped, bleedy lips since my teenage years. I’ve been a fan of deep-fried, processed meat products in cornmeal batter served on a stick way longer. Finally, a product comes along that allows me to remedy my biggest problem with my biggest love. When my package arrived, I ripped it open with the reckless abandon and anticipation of a kid on Christmas morning. I removed the tiny tube of lip balm from the mountains of packing paper and bubble wrap in the giant
Amazon.com
box. Upon removing the cap, my stomach growled a little bit. The smell was amazing…it took me straight back to the midway of my youth. I could almost see the ring toss guy with his missing front tooth and hodgepodge of prison tattoos. I could almost smell the whimsical scents of hair oil and Marlboro Reds in the air. I could hear the sounds of methamphetamine being snorted behind the Ferris wheel. And then I brought this tube of lip balm to my miserable lips and proceeded to smear the healing salve of the gods onto my kissers.
Immediately, my chapped lips were cured. I celebrated by eating the rest of the tube of balm and collapsed on the sofa in an almost postorgasmic heap, trying to wrap my head around the brilliance of this gift to humanity. I did have to knock off a star because it didn’t taste like corn dogs, and apparently you’re not supposed to eat it. My doctor is blaming the ulcers and anal leakage on this balm.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful

A Mere Misunderstanding

By
Jeff Howe
, January 18, 2013

I read several reviews here complaining that the Corn Dog Lip Balm tastes nothing like a corn dog when they ate it. I guess maybe reading hasn’t been taught for decades in public schools now because this lip balm isn’t meant to be eaten. It is meant to be smeared on the lips of a corn dog. It only works for corn dogs—to this I can attest, for I have experimented with hush puppies, corn puppies, and pigs in a blanket, and none of them saw the stellar results that corn dogs get when bathed in a rich layer of this lip balm. I gave this only four stars because there’s barely enough to lavish on one corndog, let alone several. I think it needs to be sold in larger tubes. So enjoy your corndogs with healthy lips.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

Moist lips never tasted so good

By
Timboliah PantsOnFiyah “Timboliah Pants on Fiyah”
, May 20, 2010

If you’re a fan of carnival food like me, who happens to suffer from dry lips, this product may be for you. Apply some of this stuff before kissing your favorite carny!

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful

Lip Balm Corn Dog!

By
Re-view-er
, January 20, 2013

Imagine my surprise when, after arriving 7-10 days later, I ripped open the package! I already had out my mustard, ketchup, relish, sauerkraut, and hot sauce. I was ready to taste the best food ever…a corn dog that would help with my chapped lips! I’m embarrassed to say that I misread the review. It was a lip balm that was like a corn dog…not a corn dog that worked like a lip balm. Not to be deterred, I gave it to my boss for her birthday. I think she liked it because she keeps talking about how excited she will be for me to move out of her department. I smell a promotion…and a lot of corn dog coming from her office! Now, does anyone know where I can get a corn dog that will help with my chapped lips?

3.8 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Undies for Two (New Box)

ASIN:
     B005288PW0

Price:
     
$9.95

Joke Underwear. The underwear built for two.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

98 of 172 people found the following review helpful

Great if you can’t find local fat underwear