Dear Drama (21 page)

Authors: Braya Spice

BOOK: Dear Drama

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I looked him squarely in his eyes. “
You
ended it like this. Go home to your ugly-ass wife.”

I released his hold on my arm and walked out the door.

My composure during our confrontation vanished as soon as I made it to my sister's truck. For thirty minutes I cried like a baby, for a mixture of reasons. Some I understood; some I didn't. I understood that this was someone I had come to care for deeply. Someone I had made love to, had had a kid with, and someone who had never belonged to me and never would. He had basically tried to change my status. He wanted me to be the jump-off now that she was wifey. And the truth was, I felt sorry for her, because if he hadn't introduced her to heartache yet, he would. Funny thing was, at first, when I found out that he had married another woman, I wanted to be that woman. Now I wanted neither of those spots. She had actually done me a favor, because James was now out of my life for good.

Epilogue

May 25, 2011, six months later ...

I graduated from college. I didn't think I could have got through it or made it this far without a certain day occurring and the encouraging words that day gave me.

It was the day after I had met with James. As much as I knew that I needed to move past him, I was still feeling hurt by the stuff that he told me. I knew I was going to get over this in time. But James and I had a history, so it would not be easy. And to be honest, I thought that the love that I had for him just might be a love that would always be with me.

I was sitting on my porch, watching Sierra play, when Etta's late ass came through the gate. Today she rather quickly deposited the mail in the boxes. I waved at her, and she approached me.

In all the time she had been delivering the mail to our building, Etta had never taken the time to have a heart-to-heart talk with me. We would just say hey and chop it up here and there. But never about personal stuff. But I knew she was nosy as hell and was well acquainted with my business and who came and went from my apartment. So I was surprised when she came over and said, “You mind if I sit next to you?”

“Go ahead.”

She got comfortable on the porch. “Thanks, girl. Them white folks ain't gonna kill me today.”

I chuckled.

She observed me.

“Did you ever think that the reason you haven't found the right man is because it's not your time? Sometimes God lets bad things happen to us as a sign that something is not right. He also does it to make us stronger. God got a plan for you, and you gotta stop fighting it. I bet that little girl got enough love in her little heart that not ten of these fools you come across could measure up to. And while you out searching, you fail to realize that your time will come,
when it's time
. Iâm an old lady, but follow my words, darling. Focus on you, and let God lead that man to you.”

Once I got over the surprise of what she had said, I told her, “You gotta excuse my frustration with God, ma'am. Every man he seems to send me breaks my heart. All these men I didn't go looking for, and still they managed to hurt me and leave scars.”

“Baby girl, them ain't sent from God. God's gonna send you a real
man,
and he's gonna be so good to you that at times you gonna think he's all you need. Damn food, television, the clubs, girlfriends, and jewelry, all that shit. And with everything you give, he's gonna give it right back to you and then some. And when you really look at it, he'll be all you need. And all those clowns from your past will serve their purpose too. They gave you the ability of discernment. So you'll see through the bullshit from this point on. But for now just focus on you and that little girl.” She blew a kiss to Sierra. “The right guy, he's gonna love her like she's his own. Why wouldn't anyone, anyway?”

I didn't know what to say, but I didn't get a chance to say anything.

She said, “Girl, go on and get your mail.” And she rose and walked toward the gate.

“All right. Come sit with me again sometime,” I offered.

She chuckled. “I will.”

“Sierra, in a minute you need to come in and help me with dinner.”

Although it still sucked to be alone, I had Sierra there with me, so I wasn't so alone. It was just the way I looked at it, I suppose. I didn't have a man by my side, but I had a special little girl who loved me to pieces.

I stood and walked to the mailboxes. I pulled my keys from my wrist and unlocked my mailbox. I knew it wasn't nothing more than bills. I pulled my letters out and closed the box back up. I had my phone bill, gas bill, light bill, cable bill. But there was one more letter peeking through the stack.

“Sierra, come on,” I called.

My eyes passed over the label on the last envelope. A
CCOUNTABLE HEALTH
. My doctor's office. The bastards who let a homeless bitch give me a false reading. What did they want now? I thought. To tell me they had made another mistake and I indeed had AIDS? I ripped open the envelope and yanked out the letter, my fingers rubbing against the staple in it.

Dear Ms. Jones,

I was surprised and disappointed to hear of your unpleasant experience at our facility. Professionalism is important to us, and we strive to provide our patients not only with accurate health services but also with courteous service. Needless to say, we have dealt with this issue internally, and it will never occur again in our facility. Please allow us to fix this problemâso that you don't feel compelled to seek counsel and, more importantly, so we don't lose you as a customerâwith this check attached and our sincerest apologies.

I stopped reading the letter and I flipped the page over and my eyes got buckwide. Stapled to the next page was a check for twenty thousand dollars.

I screamed and kicked my feet in the air. That meant I could finish my last year in college without struggling, buy a new car!

Sierra came running up to me. “Mommy, what is it?”

I scooped her in my arms and kissed her all over her face. She laughed and struggled in my arms.

Etta was across the street, watching us and cracking up laughing.

Thinking about that day now had me teary eyed. I looked at where I was then, how hopeless I felt, and how I felt now. I was definitely in better spirits and was so full of hope for the future, for the journey Sierra and I would go on now, and for what God had in store for us.

When the dean of the college announced my name at my graduation, I stood and smoothed down my skirt. I heard my mom, Crystal, Kendra, and Creole. They all screamed my name until their voices sounded strained, but no voice was sweeter than that of my daughter, and when she saw me take the podium, she cheered and clapped with joy. There I was, now twenty-five, a single parent and now a college graduateâthe first in my family. I wasn't married, or even engaged, there was no man waiting for me with roses and a kiss, and there was no man to take me out to celebrate my success, a success that seemed to have taken me a lifetime to achieve.

But I was alive, God had got me up that morning, and most of all, I knew I had myself, and that made everything okay. I knew one day God was going to send a man my way, a real man who would love everything about me. But until then I was going to focus on myself and Sierra, like Etta said, and not be so gung ho about giving myself to a man and accepting his BS just to fill the void, just to have a piece of a man. Nor did I need to allow a man to hurt or mistreat me and then just accept it out of fear I would lose that person. I had learned that if a man didn't treat me right, he didn't deserve to be in my life, anyway. I had needed to find a quick-fix-it man and had gone from one bad guy to the next. All that did was bring problems into my life and make it more chaotic. I was moving on and saying good-bye to all that drama.

The End

About the Author

Braya Spice also writes as Karen Williams. She is the author of
Harlem On Lock, The People Vs. Cashmere, Dirty to the Grave, Thug in Me,
and
Aphrodisiacs: Erotic Short Stories.
She is also in the anthologies
Around the Way Girls 7
and
Even Sinners Have Souls Too.
She currently lives in Bellflower, California, works as a probation officer, and is the mother of two, Adara, fourteen, and Bralynn, two.

Urban Books, LLC
78 East Industry Court
Deer Park, NY 11729

ISBN: 978-1-5998-3287-6

This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living, or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.

Distributed by Kensington Publishing Corp.
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