Dear Drama (11 page)

Authors: Braya Spice

BOOK: Dear Drama

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Chapter 13

Six months of bliss, that was what James had given me already, and it hadn't come a moment too soon. I was investing my time wisely between him and my daughter. I was still against James meeting Sierra. I wouldn't introduce them until I was sure this was going to be stable relationship. Maybe a couple more months would show me that.

Greg had come around and had broken up with that crazy heifer who I'd beaten up, and Sierra was back to going to her dad's on the weekend. James and I were inseparable. He would take me out to the movies, dinner, plays. Anywhere my heart desired. James was a brainiac, and he would help me with my homework as well. Since it was summertimeâI went to school the entire yearâmy classes were shorter and therefore more intensive. I was spending so much time with James that when he went out of town to Louisiana for his aunt's funeral for two weeks, I felt so empty. He had invited me to go, but I had finals to do and felt funny being thousands of miles away from Sierra. Naw. I wasn't leaving my baby. Still, to be invited was really a compliment.

James had said he wanted me to meet his mother and father, who lived out there. James had moved out here for college when he was only eighteen, had fallen in love with California, and had never looked back, except for when he went to visit his family. His older brother lived out here as well, and they shared a house in Baldwin Hills together. His brother worked as a physician's assistant. He said his family was pretty wealthy. His mother was a retired therapist, and his father owned several properties all around Louisiana.

The day he came back from his trip, he called me. I was on the couch with my sister and Sierra when my phone rang.

“Phone, Mama.” I gave Sierra my tongue; she giggled and gave it back.

I snatched up the phone and said, “Hello.”

“Hey, baby. I'll be arriving at your house shortly.”

“Who is this?”

“Who do you think this is?”

It was James. But I played it off like I didn't know, because I didn't want to sound anxious. Even though I was.

“I thought you were still in Louisiana. I just talked to youâ”

“You talked to me while I was at the airport.”

“Oh.” I felt a little silly. “Did you bring me anything?”

“Yeah, baby.”

I got all excited. “What?”

“Me.”

“Oh, whatever.”

“Don't you want to see me, baby?”

I dashed into the bathroom to make sure I looked okay in my tight-fitting chocolate and pink dress, and sprayed on some perfume. Sierra trailed behind me.

“No,” I finally said.

He groaned, “Baby, you so mean to me. When you know damn well you miss me as much as your man misses you.”

Sierra tugged on the bottom of my dress and stretched out her little neck.

I chuckled. “Oh, you want some?”

“Hell yeah,” he said.

“Not you.”

“Oops, sorry.”

I shook my head while spraying a little perfume on Sierra's neck.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You're welcome.”

She ran back into the living room.

“Allure.”

“Yes, nasty?”

He laughed. “Come outside, baby. I know you don't want me around Sierra, but let me at least get a hug and a kiss.”

“'Kay.”

Damn, that was definitely fast. I hung up the phone, gave myself one last glance in the bathroom mirror, and walked into the living room.

“Crystal.”

“What?”

“Keep an eye on Sierra for me, will you?”

“Where the hell you going?”

“Nowhere. James is outside.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Okay.” A few seconds later I heard her yell, “Hot ass.”

Just as I made it to the gate, I saw him get out of his car. But I pretended I didn't and opened the gate. Before I could close it, my slipper snagged on the bottom of the gate door.

“Damn.” I had just bent over to unhook my slipper and pull it back on when I was grabbed from behind. I squealed.

“Miss me?” James whispered in my right ear. He kissed me on my neck, and that alone caused sensations within me.

“A little bit,” I answered.

His teeth tugged at my earlobe, and his arm curled around my waist. “Just a little?”

I didn't answer, just turned around in his arms.

“Well, I missed you a whole lot.”

I felt his little friend, hard and lumpy, against me. “I can see,” I said.

He tried to kiss me on the lips, but I wouldn't let him. He gave me a funny look.

“Don't tease me, Allure.”

From the corner of my eye I spied my sister peeking at me from my kitchen window.
Nosy ass,
I thought. Then James started kissing me. I returned the kiss, entwining my arms around his neck. My breath met his, and his met mine, and for that moment not much mattered. I was getting the stimulationâthe affectionâthat at times I seemed to need more than food. When I pulled away for air, he grabbed my face again, tugging with his teeth on my bottom lip and laving my upper lip with his tongue. I was getting wet, so I stopped him.

“You missed me a whole lot more than you care to admit, Allure.”

I said nothing for a moment, just crossed my arms, trying to fight the cold air, which had caused goose bumps to form on my arms and legs. “How was your trip?” I finally asked.

“It was for a funeral, so a little somber.”

“I'm sorry, baby.”

“It's cool.” He traced the outline of my neck with his fingers. When he moved his hand away, it was shiny from the perfume that I had sprayed on. He pulled me closer and whispered, “You smell good, baby.”

“Thank you.” I held his gaze, feeling a little fearful, because I was starting to like James more than I wanted to. He was supposed to be the rebound guy, but I had caught some serious feelings for him, feelings that were a lot like those a woman experienced when she was in love.

“You know I missed you and my pussy when I was out there, right?”

I felt a jolt in my coochie at his dirty talk.

“You want to see what I got you?”

My eyes lit up. “You really did buy me something?”

“Come and see.”

I jumped up and down and then pulled him by his hands to his car. He laughed and jogged to keep up with me. I sat down in the car next to him, a little eager, too eager for my own damn good, so I silently told myself to cool it. But James had spoiled me so much. I felt special. He pulled out a medium-sized box from the backseat and handed it to me. Inside were some pink thong panties and a sexy lacy pink bra.

I frowned at him. “What do you expect me to do with these?”

“Wear them for me. Show me that sexy body of yours.” He kissed my lips.

I looked down at the bra and panties again. I had to admit they were pretty, but, shit, I didn't wear thongsâthey were uncomfortable when you had no butt cheeks.

“Thank you,” I said and reached over to hug him. I was just about to release him when I saw the lights of another car. It pulled up behind us. I couldn't make out who it was, because the beams blinded me for a second. Once the headlights were turned off, I nearly jumped out of my seat. It was Greg!

“What's the matter?” James asked.

I ignored him and sat frozen, watching Greg's next move. I guess he didn't see us in the car, because he got out and headed straight toward my apartment. I had not told James about this part of the equation: my crazy-ass baby's father. And if Greg acted out, I wouldn't need to tell him. He would see it for himself.

“That's my baby's father. James, wait here, okay?”

“Why?”

“Because I don't want any trouble, and he likes to trip.”

“Okay.”

I looked at him funny, almost expecting him to shake the spot, or argue with me even, but he didn't.

I got out of the car and walked to my building. I opened the gate and walked inside to my apartment.

I stood in the doorway, livid that Greg had once again popped up at my house without permission.

My sister shot him a dirty look from the couch, then pretended she didn't see him and even ignored him when he asked, “Where Allure?”

He didn't so much as glance at the couch, where Sierra was dozing. And that should have been the only person he was concerned with. I didn't get it. Every time things were going good for me with a man, he showed up. First with Lavante at CPK, and now with James. I hoped Greg's crazy ass didn't scare James away.

“Oh, you don't hear me, Crystal?”

She continued to ignore him.

“Am I fucking invisible?”

I took a deep breath before stepping inside. “What have I told you about popping up at my house, Greg?”

He spun round. “What?”

“Damn it! You fucking heard me! I told you not to pop up at my house unannounced!”

He looked at me like I was crazy. From the corner of my eye I saw Crystal carry Sierra into the bedroom.
Thank God.

“Oh, I guess you got balls because your sister's here, and you think you can talk shit to me.”

“Get the fuck out until you learn to respect my home and my goddamn wishes.”

His eyes locked with mine, and he gave me one of his “bitch, I'll kill you” looks. Acting braver than I felt, I held his glare for a good five seconds before he spoke again.

“What? You got a nigga hiding here or something?”

“You've had a woman. Why the fuck do you care?”

My sister came back into the living room and stood a few feet away from me.

“She ain't shit. She was just a fill-in until you come to your senses and let me come back. I mean, you my baby mama. What the fuck? Did you think I was letting you go?” He locked eyes with me when he said this. He was serious, and with his look he dared me to challenge what he had said. I was so sick of his shit.

I spread my arms wide and said loudly, “We are not together, nor are we getting back together!”

“Here you go with this bullshit. I came to give you some money, but since you want to be stupid, never mind. I'm not giving you shit.” He shoved me out of the way and walked out the door.

Chapter 14

I followed behind him as he walked outside. It wasn't until he reached the porch that he saw James sitting in his car. I closed my eyes briefly, because I knew what was about to happen.
God,
I thought,
why didn't I tell James to leave?

“Greg!”

He ignored me, went to the car, and bent his head into the window. I couldn't hear what was being said, so I ran over to him and shouted, “Greg, go home!”

He looked my way, then, out of nowhere, pulled a gun out of his pocket, cocked it, and pointed it directly at me. I screamed for my life and ducked behind Greg's car.

Seconds later I heard my sister scream my name from the porch steps. My heart pounded like crazy, and my whole body was shaking. I kept my eyes closed, continued to duck, and prayed to the Lord above to help me and not let Greg shoot my ass! I relied on my ears to do the seeing and the hearing for me, and any small movement or noise set my nerves on end. I was just waiting for the click of the gun and the bullet shooting right into me.

I tried to make myself invisible by curling into a ball near the back tire of Greg's car, and I tried to stop breathing and moving. But somehow I knew Greg was standing right over me with the gun. “Somebody help me,” I whispered.

James's voice gave me hope. “What are you doing, man? Don't do that!”

Bravely, I opened my eyes to see Greg's eyes dart from me to James, then to the gun, then back to me again. And just as quickly as he pulled it out, Greg tucked the gun back in his pants, got in his car, and drove away.

James rushed out of the car and grabbed me. “Allure! Allure! Are you okay?”

While I was ducking behind Greg's car, I had somehow lost one of my slippers. I searched for it blindly in the dim light but couldn't find it.

Crystal ran over next. “Allure, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I looked at James. “James, go home,” I said.

He looked at me as if he was going to argue, but he got in his car and said, “All right, but call me in ten minutes!”

After he pulled away, I looked around again for my slipper but still couldn't find it.

My sister watched me, shaking her head. “That stupid motherfucker!”

I rubbed the side of my face with my hand, silently.

“Come on, Allure. Let's go in the house.”

I sat on the couch and made an attempt to calm my aching heart and watched my sister pace in front of me. “I can't believe this shit!” She stopped pacing. “You need to get a restraining order against his crazy ass before he really hurts you.”

I nodded, but I never felt it would do any good. I thought back to when I threatened him with one before, and remembered his words.
Get one and I'll beat your ass. I'll go to jail, and I'll get out, and when I do, I'll beat your ass again, go back to jail, and guess what? I'll get out and beat your ass again
.

“He needs to be in jail, and you also need to move, Allure.”

“Crystal, I can't just up and run every time Greg does something stupid.”

She put her hands over her ears. “I wish I could kill his psycho ass myself, pulling a gun on you!”

I was silent.

And she said, “You know what you need to do. I know you feel this sense of loyalty to Greg and you want to keep the courts out of this, but he is a threat to your safety and Sierra's.”

She was right. Of all the things to do to a person, Greg had chosen one of the worst: pulling a gun on me. What if it had gone off by accident? I could be dead and Greg could be in jail for the rest of his life and Sierra would have no parents! Despite all his talk of changing, and despite me thinking I had put my foot down and he'd got it, Greg never really had. He still thought he was in control of my life and how I lived it. He still thought he could dictate what went down and he could put a stop to my love life if he wasn't in it. And if I let this shit go, this crazy shit he did tonight, I would be allowing him to do just that. Who knew what he would try next? I was giving him too much room to continue to fuck up. I had to do something about it. One thing I knew, if I didn't know anything else, was that if anyone or anything was a threat to the foundation you had for your kids, they had to go. That meant Greg.

I filed a police report regarding Greg pulling a gun on me. Funny thing was, they told me that since the economy was so bad, they were locking people up and then letting them out in a couple days unless it was a serious crime. Crystal was so upset about this that she almost cursed out the officer who took down the report. The officer advised me to get a restraining order against Greg. Crystal loaned me the money, and the next day, I went and did just that. Now Greg wasn't allowed to be within one hundred feet of me. Nor was he permitted to call me.

I was surprised to find out that because I was low income, I could pay only a small fee, one hundred bucks, to Legal Aid in Long Beach and have an attorney help me fill out all the paperwork and help me file the restraining order. Since the fee was so small, I knew I could give my sister back most of the money she had let me borrow. I also found out that I didn't have to bring Sierra to a police station for Greg's visits. I just had to find a neutral person to supervise the visits. I had to be able to drop Sierra off with that person and contact him or her by phone. Since no one in my family and none of my friends were willing to deal with Greg, because he was so fucking ignorant, I turned to his mother. From that point forward his mama was the go-to person when it came to seeing Sierra.

I was so relieved to have it done, because I felt a lot safer with the law involved indefinitely and Sierra was still able to see her father. The visits were conducted at his mother's house. We worked it out so that I dropped Sierra off at a certain time and then Greg came to visit. He was not allowed to arrive before his visiting time, which would give me time to get Sierra there and then leave without ever seeing him. If Greg showed up earlier than the appointed time or stayed longer, it was a violation of the restraining order and he could go back to jail.

I was so grateful to my attorney that I hugged her. I think she saw that I was not trying to keep Sierra out of Greg's life, but that I as merely trying to protect Sierra and myself. Greg was also not allowed to take Sierra anywhere. My attorney said that the judge would review our case in another six months, and that if Greg followed all the guidelines, the judge would consider allowing Greg to take Sierra home with him for visits.

When I finished all my court business the day I filed the restraining order, I picked up Sierra and cooked a light dinner. Sierra and I ate, and I put her to bed. The night was so hotâit was the middle of summerâthat I couldn't fall sleep. I took a shower, hoping that would cool me down, threw on a T-shirt and some shorts, and lay back in bed. I had just dozed off when I heard someone tapping on my front door.

My heart pounded a little, because part of me expected to find Greg behind that door, planning to finish what he had started, but the face behind the door belonged to James.

I opened the door, and he strode inside. I closed the door and rested my back against it, watching him.

“Why haven't you called me?” he asked.

Truth be told, I had been avoiding James because I was so embarrassed about what had transpired with Greg. Part of me also thought maybe he wouldn't want to see me again. To avoid hearing the truth, I just didn't bother to call.

“I was going to,” I told him.

His eyes looked so angry. I tried to hug him, but he pushed me away and walked to the center of my living room. He just stood there, his hands in his pockets. “Are you still fucking with your baby's father?”

“What?”

“Allure, don't do that. I hate it when you do that shit. You heard what I said.”

I was silent for a long moment. Finally, I said, “No. He just won't accept that we are over.”

“You know, you could have at least warned me about what I was up against. All this time I've been with you and not once did you tell me you had a crazy motherfucker who is in love with you.”

“I didn't tell you at first, because I didn't think we would get past one night. Then, when I started to care about you ... I'm sorry. I was scared it would push you away.”

James nodded stubbornly. “I could have killed him, Allure.”

I tried to kiss him, hoping it would make him forget that I had fucked up.

“Stop! Listen!” He shook me a little. “I could have killed him, and your child would be without a father right about now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a piece, too, Allure.”

I looked at him stupidly.

“Yeah. Under my seat. You don't think I'd drive a truck like that without some sort of protection, do you?”

“I never thought about it, because I never thought something like what happened last night would ever happen, James.”

“Well, it did.”

“It won't happen again. I got a restraining order against him.”

I didn't want to think about itâwhat could have happened, what happened, nothing. I tried to silence him with my lips and by rubbing my body against his. Twice he broke the kiss and said, “I could have killed him, Allure.” And after another kiss he murmured over my lips, “My life would be over.”

“I know,” I whispered. “And I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you.”

At those words he devoured my mouth and forced one hand down into my shorts. He pulled my panties aside and slipped two fingers deep in me. I moaned and felt my legs weakenâhe held me up and continued to play inside of me. He forced my hand up against his erection. At first I pulled away, but he fingered me harder, so I rubbed him back and forth. He groaned and licked at my neck. He kept stroking me until I let out a long moan and felt myself cum all over his hand. He left me standing there, sagging against the wall, and went into the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth, which he dried his hands with.

“Allure, when are you going to stop playing games and let me be with you, really be with you, baby? Let me move in. Let me be around your daughter.”

Wow,
I thought. I wasn't expecting him to ask for that. I was flattered beyond means. But still I felt it was too soon to be shacking up with a man. And truth be told, I really didn't want to. So I told him, “I'm not ready yet.”

“Not ready? What do you mean? It's been over six months. What more do I need to do to show you that I want to be with you?”

“What if it doesn't work out? What the hell will I have left?”

“Left of what?”

“Myself. I have been through enough. I can't get hurt again,” I said firmly.

“Why would you think I'd do you like that?”

“Because I've been done that way before and it hurts, and I don't want anything like that to happen to me again!”

“Oh God, Allure. I would never do anything to hurt you, baby.”

“How am I supposed to believe that, James?”

“Because I'm telling you.”

“Men have told me that before. I've had my heart broken before. James, I can't just go by words.”

“Then what can you go by?”

“Actions.”

“Baby, haven't I showed you that I'm not going nowhere? Your baby's father could have fucked up my world last night, and I'm still here. If that doesn't show you that I want to be right by you, then I don't know what will!”

“What if I were to fall in love with you and you decided to start tripping, dipping out? You know how you men do.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“Some of it is. The rest is about me. I'm trying to share my life with somebody. I'm not some teenybopper running around. I have a child, so what applies to those types of women just can't apply to me because of that. I have to be constantly aware of what I do and who I bring home to her. And chances are that's going to be one man ... for life. I'm not trying to run around with several of them. I need to give my daughter a stable life. What I am saying is that you have to be real with me. Right. Or you need to walk out that door.”

“I will be, baby.”

“How do I know that, James?”

“It's called trust, Allure. Baby, you have to trust me, or we're not going to get anywhere.”

“I do trust you, butâ”

“But what?”

“I'm just scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Getting my heart broken again. I don't think I'll be able to deal with it again.” I started to cry weakly. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.