Darkness Betrayed (Torn) (6 page)

Chapter 9

I was exhausted and felt like I was going to pass out. Ethan picked me up and carried me into the house and up the stairs to my bedroom. The irony of my comfort in a bed of feathers wasn’t lost on me. I lay still, the down comforter pulled up to my chin and Ethan took his place in the chair next to my bed. Christina Perri’s “Arms” filled the silent space as I drifted away.

***

I walked aimlessly through a field of warring angels, both Exiled and Faithful, humming to myself. I recognized the lyrics, felt the heaviness in my arms and began to sing along.

The sky was a comforting yet ominous,
gray and violet, pink and black. The clouds moved quickly, alternately puffed up and deflated, like a beating heart.

Barefoot, I
felt grass beneath my feet and a cool breeze toy with the skirt of my white dress. I was aware of how beautiful and calm I felt in spite of the violence and death that surrounded me.

I stopped short when I came face to face with Damien. He was smiling, eyes glittering. His white shirt fell casually against his chest and his hands were stuffed into the pockets of his khaki pants. His feet were bare.

“Hello Samantha.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You invited me.”

“I did?” Puzzled, I couldn’t remember. I watched, distracted, as an Exiled stripped a Faithful of his wings and forced a sword into his chest.

“This is your dream. It’s because you want me here that I am.”

Confused, I looked around and took in the fighting. Two Faithful teamed up against a screaming Exiled, swords flying until he was silenced. I turned back to him.

“Did I do this?”

“You did. Well, sort of.”

I didn’t understand. “Why would I do this?”

“You tell me.”

I searched my head for an answer, finding myself empty. My hair flew as I saw Ethan race past me, ignoring me.

“He can’t see you, Samantha.”

“Why not?” I frowned, still staring at Ethan as he fought alongside the other Faithful.

“You don’t want him to. This dream isn’t about him. It’s about you and the questions you have, the answers you want. He doesn’t have the answers.”

“And you do?”

“Some. Not all. I thought I did.”

I felt something crawl up my leg. A snake began to coil itself around me, slowly inching up. I bent down, removed it from my ankle and brought it to my face for closer inspection.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them, a large, red apple
sat in the palm of my hand. I took a bite, wiping away the juice that dripped down my chin. A small rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance.

“Why did
Malena tell me to put down my sword earlier?”

“Your sword is your tether to hope, to light. You wouldn’t have been able to channel the darkness had you been touching it.”

“But aren’t I supposed to use it to defeat Sebastian? To keep despair at bay?”

“Yes. But
, I think the question is - are you supposed to keep the darkness at bay or the light?”

“That’s why
Malena wanted me to pick it back up, why Ethan threw it at me.”

“Yes. As soon as you touched it, the light and dark within you would come together. It keeps you grounded. Soon, you won’t have to separate from yourself to tap into either. At least that’s the plan. But my plans lately aren’t going the way I’d thought they would.” A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth as if he was contemplating something
to which I wasn’t privy.

C
hewing the apple, I mulled this over in my head.

“I almost killed her.” My indifference didn’t bother me.

“True. But you didn’t. Ethan stopped you.”

The head of a wingless Faithful flew in the air just behi
nd him. I was mesmerized by the grace of its flight. I saw it wasn’t Ethan’s head, turned my attention back to Damien and took another bite.

With each bite, I could taste him. I could feel him filling me up, erasing my hunger, fulfilling my needs.

“Samantha, we don’t have to be here. We can walk a bit. We can get away from all this.” He waved his hand casually. “Distraction.”

“Okay.” I took his hand and allowed him to lead me away from the fighting. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as two Exiled g
rabbed the arms of a Faithful; a third and fourth stripped her of her wings and pierced her heart with a long, thin sword. The sound of their garbled laughter rang in my ears.

“Are they really dead?”

“No, Samantha. It’s just a dream.”

I dropped the apple core at my feet and left the fray with him.

“Why am I not frightened?”

“Because this is inside you. Yo
u aren’t afraid of what’s inside you, not really. You’re more afraid of how others will see you, of who you think you’ll disappoint. Once you make the choice it will all be easier. Once you realize what you have to do, regardless of how others perceive you, you won’t feel so torn.”

His grip on my
hand tightened and I wondered whether all of it was really just inside me. Was it something I wanted or something that would come to fruition? Had I suddenly figured out a way to perceive the future?

I bent down to pluck a white daisy growing alone in
the field of carnage. “I already made my choice. I stand with the Faithful. I’ve chosen to remain the balance between it all.”

Taking the flower from my hand, he smiled slowly. “Oh, Samantha. If that were entirely true, you and I wouldn’t be having
this conversation. They’ve made it sound so easy.” He tucked stray strands of hair behind my ear and lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes. “You’re too conflicted to balance anything this way. I think, and this is just based upon my observations, you have to choose a side completely before you can work towards evening the scales.”

“But I just told you…”

Damien shook his head. “No. I must not be explaining it correctly. I don’t think this is a simple matter of choosing sides, despite what we all may have thought. You must live one way or the other. The light inside of you is constantly at war with the darkness. That is no way to live. Not in a constant state of struggle. There is a plan for you. One to which none of us is privy. Again, all of this is mere conjecture on my part.” The ease with which he spoke calmed everything around me. Even the low buzzing sounded like a melody. A song about losing my religion began to play in my head.

“Why are you helping me? Why are you giving me a choice? I thought you wanted me to join you.”

“I do. Samantha you have no idea how long I have waited for you. You and I could do many wonderful things together. But my hands are tied. You must choose me.”

“You didn’t let
Malena choose.”

His eyes burned red for an instant and I knew I was right. “
Malena couldn’t choose.”

“So you made the decision for her.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“You’re no better than Sebastian if you couldn’t afford her the opportunity to think for herself.”

“I never said I was any better than him.” His voice was filled with anger. His face twisted for a second to reveal the demon living inside. Fear crept into my heart. The thought of him as a hunter flitted in and out of my thoughts.

He seemed to know he
was losing my acceptance. “Here, eat this.” He reached above to the tree branch and plucked a perfectly ripe apple from the limb. Without hesitation, I took a bite. Calm replaced my fears. Knowledge of ordinary miracles replaced hesitation.

“You are beautiful, Samantha. I can feel the heat between us and I know you can feel it to
o, in here.” His hand reached out and touched my stomach. A swarm of butterflies raged and I ached with desire. “And here.” His hand moved to my heart and it began to race. Sweat beaded along my brow. “And here.” He brought his lips to mine. He tasted as sweet as the apple I’d just eaten. The kiss deepened and I wanted nothing more than to follow him wherever he wanted me to go.

When he pulled away, breathless, he pointed to a small cleared space. Two doors stood, one black and one white. “It’s all a choice, Samantha. Your choice. Which door will take you where you want most to be?”

Tentatively I stepped to take a closer look. Other than the color, the doors were the same. Instinctively I reached out and touched a silver knob, turning it ever so slightly.

***

My eyes flashed open and I looked around trying to figure out where I was.

Curtains.

Ceiling.

Walls.

I sat up and noticed Ethan sleeping soundly in the chair. I was a mess of sweat and jumpy nerves. My head ached like I’d been thrown, headfirst, into a wall. Throwing the blanket off me, I peeked through the closed curtain. It was still dark outside. I had no clock in my room and wasn’t sure what time it was. I tiptoed out of the room and down the hall. If there was one person who could explain the dream I just had, it was Malena.

I found her sitting on her bed, painting her toes a glittery blue. It reminded me of the ocean, the same color as Ethan’s eyes.

“Hey.” I leaned against her open door.

“What do you want?” She concentrated on her toes.

“What time is it?”

“Two.”

“In the morning?”

“No. The sun just decided to take the day off. That’s what you came here to ask me?”

“No. I wanted to talk.”

“Then talk.” She dipped the brush into the little bottle of polish.

“Why are you so angry with me?”

“I’m not angry. I’d have to care about you to be angry. I don’t care. I’m just, indifferent. And of course it’s not like you tried to kill me or anything.”

I stepped into her room and stood, watching her paint with long, smooth strokes, absently rubbing my arms to calm my nerves.

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” She waved her hand, blowing my apology off.

“I had a dream.”

“So did Martin Luther King, Jr.” She blew on her toes.

“Why do you have to be so sarcastic?”

“I’m fluent.”
Jesus.
She was looking everywhere but at me.

“
Malena stop. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

She sighed loudly, capped the polish and put it on her nightstand. “Fine. Sit. Not there,” she said as I lowered myself at the foot of her bed. She pointed to the chair. I rolled my eyes at her and sat. I stretched my neck
to relieve my building tension.

“Okay. So what’s the problem? I mean other than the fact that you’re fucking crazy.”

“I’m not crazy. Why do you have to be so…” I searched my head for the right word but settled on the childish. “Mean?”

“Because my mommy left and daddy didn’t love me.” She continued to fan her toes with her free hand.

“Can’t you stop being such a bitch for one minute?”
This was a bad idea.

“Fine. Please tell me what your problem is.” Her sudden eagerness was obviously faked.

I knew this was gonna go nowhere.
“I had a weird dream about Damien. There was fighting and killing and I didn’t seem too bothered by it.”

“And you’re bothered because you weren’t bothered?”

“Yes. No. It’s just that, I was walking through a field and everyone was fighting. He took me through the woods. There was a snake and apples…”

“Apples, huh?” She interrupted, looking at me cautiously.

“Yeah. Why?” I knew the apples were important.

“Did you eat them? Scratch that, of course you did. You ate them before, when you were…”

“Shackled to the floor?” My interruption made her pause.

She leaned against her headboard, arms crossed, face giving away nothing. “And of course, I gave you one. To control you. He’s controlling your dreams. Remember when you first met him? He gave you an apple then, t
oo. Remember how angry you were… and then you weren’t?”

I nodded, wanting her to continue.

“Well, he can control you that way. Not as well as he can control others, it seems. But that’s his way.”

“I don’t get it.”

“We talked about this.” I swore her eyes would roll into the back of her head.

“Explain it again.”

“What did Eve eat in the Garden?”

“An apple.”

“Right.”

I picked at my cuticles, wishing my hands were as well manicured as hers. “So the apple?”

“Temptation. Easier to tempt you to do what he wants when you’re docile. I bet he’s trying to figure out why it doesn’t work as well with you. I mean, you’re confused enough to be impressionable.”

“You make me sound like a child.”

“In some ways you are. You may be eighteen years old, but all this is new to you. How else are you going to react? If I were in your shoes, I’d probably be nuts, too.”