Crushed (18 page)

"Pft. Let it go? Please, tell me
how to do that." I said sarcastically.

"Find another girl. There are
plenty of hot girls out there."

"It'll only remind me of what I
lost. I'm like a blind man wishing for his eyesight back. She was
very easy on the eyes. Find me a woman who is incredibly hot, like
an eleven. But you won't be able to because she doesn't exist. You
can't help me, Bonnie. See ya later." I turn to leave again and she
steps behind me.

"I'll find you that girl, it won't
be hard. I'll find her for you even if its the last thing I do.
You'll forget about that girl. You'll see."

Chapter 30

Claire

He turned slowly and looked in my
eyes. I could feel the heat behind his gaze, as if in slow motion I
saw his hands coming towards me. The papers fell to the floor and
as soon as they hit everything was in hyper speed. His hands were
in my hair, forcefully pulling me towards his body, his soft but
powerful lips were on mine, teasing me, taunting me, begging me to
respond. I was frozen for a minute and then I held him too, no
longer able to resist. Who could resist when they were being kissed
like this? He turned us around and slammed me against the door. I
groaned, the powerfulness an instant aphrodisiac, my sex moistening
for what I knew was coming, what my body so desperately
wanted.

One of his hands moved down my
body, feeling every curve, dip, divot; leaving in its wake a fire
on my flesh that moved through my body and went right between my
thighs. As he hooked his hands behind my knees to carry me to the
bed my head started to clear. What the hell was I doing? Why would
I torture myself again? I didn't want to be hurt again, rejected,
tossed aside when something better came along.

As I fell back onto the bed and his
gorgeous body fell over mine, his chest pressing against mine as we
kissed, I put my hands between us and pushed him back. He growled
as he lifted himself up onto his hand, the noise itself soaked my
panties. He was panting softly from the tamed passion and I could
feel how ready he was as he pressed himself against my jeans as his
gaze switched from my face to my heaving chest and back. "Why am I
stopping?"

"Because if you actually like me
then you'll prove it to me...by not treating me like every other
girl on campus." I pushed him back further until I folded my legs
underneath me as I sat up fully
and brushed my hands over my hair to try to flatten it.

He let out a deep breath, still
sitting back on his feet. "You were into it too." Neil noted but he
did seem to manage to keep control of himself, even after kissing
her, which was a good thing and still so very
surprising.

"Yes, of course I was. You're hot
and you know what you're doing and I'm not dead."

"So... what are you looking for,
then?" He just didn't seem to get it. So I was going to have to be
blunt, spell it out. And then something else came out of my
mouth.

"Um... monogamy? Sweet talking? An
interest in me aside from my body? A chance at love before you
leave here?" I pressed my lips together and swallowed hard as I
looked at him.

"I am interested in you for more
than your body." He offered, glossing over the monogamy request. "I
do love you." Neil blurted out, surprising me.

I stared at him, eyes wide as I
studied him, looking for any clue that he was lying just to get
into my pants. Perhaps if I stared at him long enough he'd laugh
and brush it off or tell me he was kidding. But he didn't. He kept
staring at me with those sexy predatory eyes.

"So,...so...so then you want me to
be your girlfriend?" I was still very much in shock. Neil Begley,
committing to someone other than himself?

After a moment of staring at me, he
nodded reluctantly, looking almost pained. "I'm not sure how
monogamous and no sex would work out but I can try."

I smiled and pushed myself up onto
my knees, hands on my hips. "So ask me then, Neil."

He groaned, still as if he were
deeply in pain, but then cleared his throat and looked me right in
the eye after taking my hand. "Claire, will you be my
girlfriend?"

I smiled, still partially wondering
if this was a dream, and closed the distance between us, wrapping
my arms around his neck for a hug, "Yes!" He squeezed me hard as I
kissed his cheek and then pulled away.

"Alright, see you tomorrow morning
for the shoot." He was sitting back on his heels, his erection
staring at me.

I swallowed hard and stood up, I
let my fingertips graze his erection as I passed by. "If I find out
that you're doing this just so you will get an A or to attract
another girl, you'll regret it."

I almost squealed when he got up
and pulled my back against his chest. He bent his knees enough to
tease me with his erection, kiss my neck roughly and whisper
gruffly into my ear, "That is the one time you get to tease me,
Claire. The next time I'm going to fuck you."

I gasped at his dirty words, pried
his hands off me and made my way towards the door, "That's what you
think," I spoke with more courage than I felt. I even had the balls
to smile at him over my shoulder and took a mental picture of him
with a raging hard on that I could enjoy later.

Chapter 31

Neil

We shot the video, and submitted it
along with the rest of our project the following week. It was all I
could do to continue to keep my hands off my damn girlfriend. Who
the hell would've thought that I would ever call Claire Hughes my
girlfriend. Sure as shit not me.

I went to the Union to get my mail
and returned to my dorm. I sat down at my desk and opened the
letter that I knew was from my father. I opened it and stared at
the contents. There was a small key and a note that said, "It's
time."

I swallowed hard and shoved two
frustrated hands through my hair. He was summoning me now? Now,
when things were finally looking up for me with Claire? Could I
leave her? I felt anger take over as I stood up and vaguely felt my
fist burn as it went through the desk. I looked down and let out a
grunt as I pulled my fist out from the wood. It was bleeding and
splinted, but I didn't care. I thought I had more time.

I went to the bathroom and cleaned
my wound, wrapping a towel around it. I went back into my bedroom
and paced. Claire was not going to accept this. She was going to be
devastated and I was going to be the cause of it. Even if I could
ask her to go with me I knew she'd say no. She had a life here,
friends. And after what happened at the lake I wasn't sure she'd
trust me not to take her somewhere she'd be safe from harm if it
was off campus. Just last week I'd asked her to be my girlfriend
and now I had to leave her for only God knew how long. Maybe
forever.

No, it wouldn't be forever. I would
come back for her. I knew I only had a few hours before they came
for me. I sat down at my desk and started to write on a blank sheet
of paper I'd set next to the hole.

Claire,

I never felt as scared of losing
something in my life as when I saw you fall into the water at the
lake. It was reflecting on that moment that I knew, for sure, that
I loved you. I vowed that if you lived through it I would do
whatever I could in my power to keep you safe, forever. I didn't
ever want you to feel another ounce of pain.

I have a feeling that this letter,
my absence, is going to bring you pain. And for that, I'm sorry. I
promise, I will come back for you or I will die trying.

My father has summoned me to Tir
Na Nog. This comes at an incredibly shitty time but if I defy him I
will be giving up everything I've been working for my entire life
and I would have nothing to offer you. He would come find me anyway
and make my life hell for disobeying his direction.

This is not goodbye.

I love you.

Neil

I read and reread the letter
several times, folded it and stuffed it into my back pocket. It was
a crazy rush to pack all of my things. My roommate came back and
helped and just as we were taping the last box shut the man I'd
grown up calling my Uncle appeared in the doorway.

"It's time." He repeated the words
from the letter and I nodded.

"Yeah, I know." I looked around one
last time, my gaze on my bed. I wished at that moment that I could
take things with me to the Otherworld. The last time I was with
Claire we were watching a movie on my bed. Just this morning I
tried to inhale the last of her scent from my pillow, but it
remained embedded there. I could only take my memories with me. It
would have to be enough to get me through.

I shook hands with my roommate, and
then left campus. The letter to Claire was still in my back pocket,
hidden and forgotten.

Chapter 32

Claire

Finally I was free for the rest of
the winter! My last test was under my belt and I was ready to
celebrate with some cuddling and another movie with Neil. Last
night had been incredible but I regretted when I had to cut the
evening short to wake up early for finals and was snuggled up in my
bed without him.

I was all smiles when I knocked on
his door. I waited, my hands behind my back, for him to answer. My
smile dropped a little when his roommate answered the door. "Hey,
is Neil here?" The roommate shifted uncomfortably in the
doorway.

"Uh... no."

I smiled and shrugged. I felt my a
slight ache in my stomach. "Okay, I'll just come by
later."

The roommate scratched his head.
"Um...he left."

I felt the bottom of my stomach
drop out, my smile dropping completely. "He what?" I stood on my
toes and tried to look around him. What I saw made my gut clench
hard. "Where is his stuff?" His side of the room was completely
void of his things. The linens stripped from his bed and balled up
in the corner.

"Some movers came and picked up the
boxes, I helped him pack this morning." I blinked at him and
nodded, feeling more than a little disappointed.

"Did he leave anything?" I pressed
my lips together, hoping that he had left something for me to let
me know when or if he'd be back. It didn't make sense that he would
just pick up and leave. If he'd had plans to leave today he
would've told me last night. The roommate shook his head and other
questions emerged. "Did he seem like he was under duress?" The
roommate looked at me blankly. I tried not to scream at him for
being an idiot. "Was there anyone with like a gun or something? Did
he seemed forced into doing it?"

He shrugged. "His Uncle was here
and told him that it was time. He said he'd see me around so he's
probably just going on vacation." I nodded but I didn't believe
that for a second. I thanked him, wished him a good winter break
and then left. I blinked back my tears as I realized that I might
never see Neil again.

He'd left without a word. He
probably knew he was leaving today and that was why he'd agreed to
be in a relationship. I was so confused about what was up and what
was down. I didn't feel like I knew anything anymore. I walked
blindly back to my dorm. I must have passed Merit on the way
because she was there, behind me when I unlocked my door and
stumbled into my bedroom.

"Hey, Claire, what's wrong?" I felt
her arm around my shoulders, her other hand grasping my forearm
which I'd curled around my stomach. I felt sick. Heartsick,
probably.

"He's gone. He just left." Merit
frowned, and then when she realized who the he was she guided me to
my bed, pushing me to sit down. She sat down beside me and pulled
me into her, hugging me. The comfort made me feel safe enough to
unleash the tears that had been building in my eyes.

"Claire, that doesn't make any
sense. Do you think he's in trouble? Do you think it's another way
to hurt you?" I shook my head. Neil was a lot of things but he
wasn't one to be susceptible to bullying. If someone had been
threatening him he would've taken care of it. That's the kind of
guy he was.

"He packed his stuff this morning
and left. Without a goodbye. Maybe the celibacy was too much for
him to handle. Was that too cruel?" I sobbed against her
collarbone, my head was swimming with what-ifs, self doubt,
accusations, conflict.

"Claire, please. You're being a
little crazy. A guy can go without sex for a long time. He may not
want to but he can do it. And if that's why he left then he's a
total ass face anyway. And he's not worth these tears. He probably
just had to go home for winter break. He'll be back." She smoothed
my hair back with a gentle hand. I closed my eyes and accepted it,
letting it soothe me.