Crushed (13 page)

I yanked my arm from his grasp,
dropped my laundry basket in front of one of the washers I'd
occupied and rushed into the bathroom. Neil was just trying to hurt
me. And it was working. He was clearly still in the mindset that I
was ridiculous for not letting being intimate with someone be as
casual as he allowed it to be. It wasn't casual. I didn't want to
give that part of myself to everyone and anyone. Why did he think I
waited so long?

I waited in the bathroom until I
knew my cycle was done. When I came out Neil was gone.

****************

I knocked on Will's door and looked
down at my green chiffon dress and smoothed out a couple of
wrinkles. I heard the door open and I looked up, smiling. Will was
there, tall, masculine, and wearing only black lounge pants low on
his waist. I absently licked my lips as my gaze roamed from his
large pecs to his chiseled abs and to the muscular V that led to
the nether parts that I had yet to see. His thumb went under my
chin and brought my attention back to his face, which was smiling
softly. His ice blue eyes were crinkled a little at the corners. He
hadn't shaved and his hair was mussed. He looked good enough to
friggin' eat.

"Hi." I blinked innocently, putting
my hands behind my back to keep them from yanking his pants
down.

"Hi." He smoothed his thumb over my
jaw and then stepped back so I could come in. "Sorry I didn't dress
up. I haven't been feeling very well." My heart sank just a little
as I turned to look at him as he closed the door behind
me.

"Oh no... can I get you anything?
Should I go?" He shrugged his wide shoulders and shoved his hands
into the pockets of his pants as I stepped further into the
room.

"That's up to you. I'd hate to get
you sick too. But if you wanted to stay and watch a movie I'd love
the company." I nodded slowly and looked him over again as I
weighed those options. I could stay and cuddle with Will,
potentially get sick. Or I could leave and ... and what? Go to
Neil's stupid party? The choice was a no brainer.

"What do you want to watch?" I
smiled brightly. He returned the smile, though not fully and went
to lay down on his bed. He put one hand on his stomach and the
other behind his propped head.

"Whatever you want, babe. I'll
probably be asleep as soon as you warm me up." I shrugged my
shoulders softly and turned to look at what the boys had to offer.
Action movies mostly. I pulled out a couple and held them up when I
turned back to him.

"Aliens or Terminator?" He pointed
to the one on the left. "Terminator it is!" I popped the movie in
and got comfortable spreading myself over him after I took off my
shoes. I could hear his heartbeat under my head. It was beating
slow and steady. I put my hand on his chest and slowly moved it
down towards his waist band. His heart continued to beat slow and
steady. Hmm. I dipped my fingers underneath his band and he grabbed
my hand, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed my fingers and put my
hand back on his chest. He pat my hand a couple times, his
attention focused on the tv, as he tried to placate me.

"I don't feel good, Claire. I'm not
in the mood right now." I nodded my agreement but inside I was so
confused. Neil was getting into my head. He was ruining this
relationship, which is exactly what he wanted. I was not going to
let him hurt me. I raised my head and quickly pressed my lips to
his. He moaned against my lips and his hands went into my hair,
gripping it tight and holding me close.

I moaned in return and tried to
pull away but we were stuck in the same situation as before. This
time I was ready though. I let myself get pulled into it, at least
I tried. I tried to let go. I tried to get lost in him. Something
still felt off, something felt wrong.

His tongue assaulted mine and then
his teeth nibbled on my lower lip. He groaned once more against my
lips and then he flipped me over on the mattress and pushed my
dress up. I pushed up onto my hands and knees and tried to escape
him but his hand was strong on my waist, holding me down. His other
hand was absent briefly but came back and ripped my panties off.
They fell onto the bed beneath us. I heard myself
whimper.

"Will?" I looked over my shoulder
and saw a man possessed. He was not the calm, unresponsive man he
was a few minutes ago. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to gather
my thoughts in the brief seconds I had. All I could think was that
this was my fault. I had kissed him. I opened my eyes, panting
hard, anticipating what might be coming. Time was up. He rammed
into my virgin asshole and a scream escaped from my
lips.

I barely heard his own scream above
my own. The pain must've been bad for him too. He pulled back and
muttered a curse before running to the bathroom. Tears had sprung
in my eyes and fell free when I moved off the bed. I sucked in a
breath with each movement as I headed for the exit. This was a
nightmare. As my hand touched the doorknob I felt strong arms
around my waist.

"Claire, I'm so sorry." He pressed
his lips to my cheek and I felt shivers fall through me, shivers of
fear. Shivers of disgust. Shivers of hopelessness. This is how it
was going to be forever. I could never kiss a man again. Unless he
was like Neil, love resistant.

I tried to keep the shivers out of
my voice, "I know. I shouldn't have kissed you." He kissed my neck
softly.

"Please don't go...are you
alright?" I nodded, my body feeling numb compared to my ass which
was on fire. Served me right for kissing him, for tempting him. For
playing with fire I got burned.

"I'll be okay, I just need to rest,
I think."

"So rest here with me."

I shook my head and reached back
putting my hand on his cheek. "I don't know how its going to feel
later. I just want to soak in a bath, pop some pills and go to
bed."

"Sorry..." he whispered. I believed
he was.

"I hope you feel better, Will.
Sorry for tempting us both. I'll text you later." He hesitantly let
me go. I felt the burn from my stupidity all the way across
campus.

Chapter 20

Neil

Despite the fact that I was sober
and didn't end up rolling around in the grass with a couple of
girls, I had a great time at my party. Even though I'd invited
Claire, she didn't show. I hadn't really expected her to come but
it still bugged me a little.

I helped Tse break down after the
party and carried his crate back to his dorm. Will was sleeping and
Claire was nowhere in sight. I couldn't help but feel relief. If
I'd seen her sleeping in his arms, covering up in surprise at being
caught with him naked in his bed, I think I would've killed
him...at the very least I would've hurt him very badly.

I didn't get up at my usual time so
I had to sneak my daily run in right before lunch. And that's when
I saw him, Will. He had a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand and a
comically large box of chocolates under his other arm. I wondered
what the hell he'd done to warrant not only flowers but chocolates.
He was breaking out the big guns. Perhaps they were for another
girl. My curiosity got the best of me and I followed him, from a
safe distance, of course, I didn't want him to know I was following
him.

He was headed for Claire's dorm but then again all the girls lived
there. I let him get the lead and then went into the dorm behind
him but across the dorm and then up so that I could walk by without
seeming suspicious.

I could see him at her door as I
stepped through the stairwell into the hallway. He was speaking low
and his eyebrows were drawn together, his shoulders hunched. He was
definitely apologizing, begging. He held out the gifts and I saw
her shake her hands. She wasn't going to accept his gifts. What the
hell had he done? I had to find out, I walked casually down the
hallway, keeping my earbuds in, making look as if I couldn't hear
them. But I could.

"What do you want me to do?" He
asked, his voice gruff, strained.

"I just need some time to figure
out what I want to do. What happened was...scary and -very-
hurtful. Flowers and chocolates aren't going to fix the issues that
we have." Her voice was soft and sounded almost normal. She was
going to cry. I had to stop myself from running down there to bash
that idiot's face in. He wasn't allowed to make her cry.

"I just miss you, Claire. I don't
feel whole unless you're with me."

"Its the kissing," I passed by them
and his voice dropped lower. "Will." The flowers and chocolates
made a thump mixed with crackling leaves sound as he dropped them
to the ground. I turned my head and saw him wrap his arms around
her and kiss her. Her hands were on his shoulders trying to push
him off. What the hell did he think he was doing? I was about to
turn around when Will pulled back, his jaw clenched so tight I
thought for sure it was going to pop.

"See. I. Can. Control. Myself." I
could tell he was using every single ounce of willpower not to
throw her against the nearest surface. I turned back around and
scratched at my forehead to try to calm the burning in my chest
which I assumed was anger.

"...Can you? Kiss me again." I
heard the disbelief in her voice and then the moan as his lips
must've pressed against hers. I walked away quickly before I let my
imagination put them together in her bed.

I waited outside the dorm, pacing.
My anger rose with each passing minute that I was down there by
myself. Fifteen minutes passed until Will pushed opened the doors.
He didn't even look at me until I was standing in front of him. He
tried to step around me but I put my hand on his chest and pushed.
He was a good foot taller than me and built like a train but I
didn't give a fuck at that moment.

"What the hell, dude?" He stopped
and looked me over, a small smile coming to his lips. He was sizing
me up and had deemed me an unworthy opponent. That was his first
mistake. Actually his second. His first mistake was fucking with
Claire.

"What can I do for you, Pretty
Boy?" He folded his arms over his chest and I clenched my jaw in
anger.

"You need to stay the hell away
from Claire. I don't know what's going on in that simple little
mind of yours but I know its something dark."

"I am in love with her. Back off
and stay out of our business." My fists curled at my sides and my
voice dropped low.

"What is she allergic to? Who was
her first celebrity crush? What are her dreams? Hopes? Aspirations?
Do you know any of those things?" I gave him a split second to
respond and then continued, "No. You don't because you're not in
love with her. You just want to fuck her. Just like every other
dude with a dick between his legs on this campus. Stay the fuck
away from her."

"You know what? I've had enough of
your filthy mouth." I saw his fist pull back and ducked as he swung
at my face. I bent over and rammed my head into his stomach, hoping
like hell that it was enough to knock the air out of his lungs. I
heard him grunt but it wasn't enough. I felt his fists pounding on
my back, each curled fist like a hammer, I heard some cracking. I
pushed him away and I quickly fell back to reassess, the pain in my
back was searing each time I drew in a breath.

The bastard was still smiling at
me. I lunged for him again, I saw his fist coming but it was too
late. The world turned black.

Chapter 21

Claire

I threw the flowers into the
trashcan with an angry huff. How could he think that I wanted to be
alone with him, be intimate again with him after he'd done what he
did last night. It gave me shivers just thinking about it. I had to
distance myself from him. I wasn't ready to be alone with him and
kissing him gave me the creeps.

I didn't sleep well at all last
night, I was tossing and turning and every time I closed my eyes I
was reliving the feeling of being violated. He violated me. I
needed some girl time. Desperately.

Claire: Hey girl, u
awake?

Merit: Now I am. What's
up?

Claire: I need some girl
time.

Merit: What happened? Did u go 2
Neil's party?

Claire: No. Did u go?

Merit: Yeah. It wasn't totally
lame. And every time I saw Neil he wasn't sucking face. It was kind
of amazing actually.

My stupid heart was fluttering at
the thought of Neil being less girl-centric.

Claire: Good 4 him. Maybe he'll
let me set him up soon.

Merit: So tell me what happened
last night!!!